Concealed Attractions (Cedar Island Tales) (18 page)

“When?”

“In about an hour, along
the beach west of the harbor.”

After checking with her mother,
Dannilynn
replied
, “I’ll be here if you want to come get me.
”

“Great—see you soon.” He rubbed his hands together as he gathered up the leash for the dog. “You
’re
a great
chick-magnet, Happy.
” 

The dog
lifted his
upper
lip in a doggy smile
and bounded
outside
.
Ben
pulled the old
yellow cab
around to the side of the house and brushed out the front seat. “Might as well get rid of as many dog hairs as I
can.
You’r
e
stuck
in the back this time, old man.
”
H
e opened the back door for the dog.

While she waited for Ben
, Danni sat in her room
, glad her mom had gone to a meeting at the church and wouldn’
t want to talk with her
.
So many things I did wrong.
She’d lost her virginity to a guy
who was
a jerk, someone who had told her he loved her when he’d really only used her. She saw that now. If only she’d realized it before. Now she was pregnant, something she’d never imagin
ed
happen
ing
to her
un
til
she was married. She’d decided against an abortion and was glad she hadn’t gone through with it, even though Monica had said it would be the easiest solution.

But now
she had to give up the baby.
Would she be able to do it when the time came?
She ran her hand over her stomach, the telltale bulge
Ben had mentioned
warm against
her fingers. At the clinic, her smock hid things. If she stood up straight and pulled in her stomach muscles, she was sure no one
could tell what was nestled in her womb
. But the doctor had said it would be obvious by the end of next month, after she was in school.
And Monica had said Danni’s breasts were bigger. She had to admit they
sometimes felt
tender. Would they stay that way for the entire pregnancy?

If only she didn’t have to decide. If
only she somehow lost the baby.
Monica’
s mother had had a miscarriage,
but Danni couldn’t remember how pregnant she had been when it happened. Monica had only said it made her mom really sad. After that, her folks had stopped trying to have another baby.
Or maybe it was because they couldn’t, that the miscarriage had somehow damaged Monica’s mom.

Having sex with Steve
was
a big mistake, the worst mistake of her life.
Now that Ben was her friend, Danni imagined what life would be like if she was still a virgin, if she was going out with Ben, if they were dating, not just working together at the vet clinic. From what she could see, he would probably be the kind of boyfriend who wouldn’t push her to have sex unless she wanted it, who would really care about her. She sighed and stood up when she heard the car he was driving pull into the driveway.

Ben and Danni
walked the beach
together
,
her dark hair whippin
g in the wind.
They used
the longest lead for the dog so he could bound into the waves w
ithout splashing them as they strolled
along the hard-packed sand. Ben skipped stones along the top of the water
whenever they stopped
.
Dannilynn
collected shells and
tuck
ed them in the pockets of her jacket. As the sun began to go down, they found a log and sat down to watch the far mountains turn pink in the evening light.

“You’re going back to school soon, Shortie. Are you ready for that?” Ben
looked
at her. She was so pretty
;
those
eyes that were
blue
pools
,
the freckles that dotted her cheeks and the bridge of her nose
, her dark eyebrows that arched so often whenever she joked with him
. N
o wonder she’d h
ad
a boy
friend
, but where was he when she
’d
needed him?
Why
wasn’t the father of her baby
in her life anymore?

She nodded
.
“
I have to concentrate on my classes so I don’t get the grades I got last term.
And, when
I
get
back to campus
, I’ll find out if my
b
iology
prof is going to change my grade
. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.” She smiled back at him. “Yo
u’ve been a good friend, Ben. I’m
grateful. A lot
.”

He did his best to ignore his pulse as it began to race when she gazed at him.
“That’s me, friend to all damsels in distress,” he j
ok
ed,
before turning
serious. “
W
ho showed me around when I first got here, and who’s helped me with
lots
of the procedures
?
You even
correct
ed
me when I almost did something wrong—
like spacing the stitches on my first
surgical pat
ient
. Yo
u didn’t tell
Joe
l
on me.” He put his
arm around her
and gave her a quick sq
u
eeze
.
“Of course, I’
m your friend—
and
I
’ll
keep being your friend
as long as
you want me to
be
.”
Maybe more than a friend? Except I don’t think you’re ready for that, are you?
But when he thought of her boyfriend, he hoped
the guy
would
n’t be
back
in
to
the picture
either.

“I do
—want you to be a friend
, I mean
.
I
still
don’t know what I’m going to do—about the baby
.
Whether
I
’m going
to keep it or
no
t.”

“
When
Julie
’s baby was first born,
we helped
her
. I read my c
alculus
book
while rocking my nephew
to sleep
.
He’s
ten
now, and really likes m
ath.  I like to think it’
s because I talked him through c
alc
ulus
when he was a baby and
he
had no excuse for no
t listening to his U
ncle Benjie.” H
e smi
rk
ed at her.

“You’
re fun
ny.
”
She giggled and
traced figure
eights in the sand
with a stick
.
“You said your sister is
married now and has two babies?
”

He nodded.
“
A
couple of years after
Mark
was born
, she met a really
great
guy and they got
married.
Jason
adopted
Mark
and is Natalie
’s dad
. She’s four
.
They live about five blocks from my mom.
”

“It sounds like y
ou have a wonderful family. Y
ou’
re so lucky.”

“We’ve had our
hard
times, but we
’re a big family
. We
all pull together.  My
big
brother
—after he finished
college
and
got his first job
—
sent money back home so I could go to school. That
,
plus sch
olarships
,
is how I got through.
Jeff is at Whitman
now
—on a full music scholarship.
When I’m
working
, I’ll send money back
for
the twins
.
They’
re next to leave the nest.
”

H
e pulled the
big
dog away from a smelly piece of seaweed. “Happy, leave that alone.”
He turned on the log
where
they were
sitting
and
looked
directly into
Dannilynn
’s
blue
eyes.
“I’m sure
peo
ple have already asked you this,
but don’t you think you
should tell
your
m
om
?”
He rubbed her hand and then grasped it
tightly, wanting to do more, but not sure he should
.

She
shook
her head
and frowned
.
“
Will you take me home
now
, Ben?”

He
nodd
ed
and they walked back to
the car
.
She
looked into the back
seat and
wrinkled
her nose
when the Doberman leapt into the
car
.
“H
appy
really need
s
a bath.
I think he r
olled in more than
rotten seaweed.”

“Will you help me? He
doesn’t like being bathed
,
and he’s so big
.”

“
Sure
.” They
drove
to the clinic and used the groomer’s room and equipment to wash the big dog, dry him off, and put him back into
his
run.

On their way to
Danni
’s house, Ben put his arm around her. “I’m going to miss you at the clinic
when you take off for school.
You’
re coming to work tomorrow, aren’t you?”

“Of course. I need all the hours
Joe
l
will pay me for.” She
rubbed her hand against his cheek b
efore leaving the car,
looking at him with
a quirky little smile. “You
better
shave extra close tomorrow
. I hear
d that
Mrs.
Learman
’
s coming in and
she won’t
let anyone but
you check old Schotsie.” She laughed at him
when he tried to grab her hand.

“Pastor Peter, could I talk with you?”
Danni held her breath
, hoping
that he wouldn’t be too busy.

“Certainly,
Dannilynn
. Do you want to talk now
or in my office?”

“In your office.  I c
an
be there in a few minutes if you have time.”

His voice was welcoming.
“
I always have time for you
.”

When she arrived at the parsonage,
the pastor
escorted her into his office and shut the door.

“So, you’re
going back to school soon
?”

She nodded. “I was wondering. D
o
you know people who want babies, but who
aren’t able to have them?”

“You mean
people want
ing
to adopt a child?
”

She nodded.