Condoned (Beauty And The Billionaire Geek Book 3) (2 page)

A little charm in the form of an infinity sign sat in my hand.

“I never got to finish the bracelet,” he said seductively. His lips grazed over my neck, and he lifted his face to me. I turned to him as I clutched the charm. All my love came flooding back like a dam had burst. I crushed my lips to his, our mouths opening together as he pulled me against him.

He slid his hand under my shirt and gripped my breast. I realized what was happening and slammed on the brakes, pulling away from the kiss. He let go of my breast and slid his hand out from under my shirt.

“I can’t do this,” I said, rising half way before he pulled me back down beside him.

“Tell me about what happened with you and that guy.”

I took a deep breath and sighed heavily. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m sorry someone you loved hurt you. I understand what it’s like to be betrayed that way.”

Anger burned in my stomach. I knew exactly what he was talking about. I rose from the bench, clutching my arms to my chest against the cool wind. I turned and marched away, not knowing where I was going or how I could get home. The park was on a long stretch of road in an industrial part of town, along the bay. 

I didn’t care. I just kept walking. When I got to the parking lot, I marched up the narrow sidewalk along the highway, clutching the stupid charm in my hand. I could hear him running behind me, calling my name and asking me to stop. Billy had always been clueless. I’d been stupid to come here with him. This would never lead anywhere good.

Cars zoomed past down the road, and I walked under the dim glow of the street lamps and the headlights of passing vehicles. When Billy finally caught up with me, I’d found a bus stop and stood under the blue sign.

I turned my back on him and heard him call my name again. I didn’t respond but he grabbed my arm and spun me around. I stared up into his newly matured face. His hazel eyes looked black in the darkness.

“What!” I screamed at him. I was fighting mad and didn’t want to talk to him for another second.

“Zoe. If we never speak again, I want you to know, I forgive you for what happened.”

Tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t control the hot liquid pouring out of my eyes. I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. The horrible pain of the past cramped my stomach until I felt I’d throw up.

“You don’t know anything!” I yelled again. I pulled my arm away and started walking. The next bus stop was half a mile away, but I didn’t care. I’d do whatever I needed to get away from him. He forgave me! Screw him.

He kept following me into the night as I marched under an overpass. Deep darkness swallowed me and a car rumbled overhead. I could smell the scent of urine and garbage and the acrid scent of exhaust and asphalt.

He grabbed my upper arm again, hurling me around to face him. The momentum of his motion pulled me into his body so that I fell right into him. He held me there, even as I struggled to get away.

“You behaved unfairly to make that decision without me, and you know it.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said, my attempts to pull away had been tempered by my very real need for comfort. The feel of his body against mine was so familiar, I could just sink into it like nothing bad had ever happened.

“Of course it matters,” he whispered in my ear.

The secret I had been holding back for five years stuck in my throat. How could I tell him now?

“It doesn’t matter. You said you never wanted to talk to me again. Anything that happened after wouldn’t change anything.”

“What are you talking about?” He held me by the shoulders and looked into my face. Even in the darkness I could make out his silhouette and the serious expression he wore. The dam burst and the truth flooded from me.

“I didn’t go through with the procedure. I would have. I think. When you broke up with me over the phone, I started crying and they sent me home. I just stayed in my bed and cried for two days. Before I could make another appointment or even think straight about what to do, I started bleeding and… it took care of itself.”

Tears filled my eyes. Over the years, I’d asked myself hundreds of times if I would have gone through with it. Every time I came up with a different answer. So many should haves and would haves and alternate possibilities clouded my mind.

He pulled me into his chest and held me tight. Another car rumbled overhead and sent dust swirling around us as a breeze blew through. A car passed behind me and sent a cold air current up my back, making me shiver. Billy’s arms around me felt so warm.

“It was my fault,” he whispered.

“It wasn’t. It happens all the time.” I pulled away from his embrace with a great deal of effort. No matter how magnetically he pulled me, I knew getting back into this relationship would unbalance my already precarious world. I started walking back to the car without a word.

Billy followed, walking at my side. I didn’t try to run away from him, but I also didn’t accept his hand as he held it out to grasp mine. Instead, I ran my fingers through my hair and crossed my arms. Getting this thing off my chest felt better than I’d thought it would. I’d never told anyone about the pregnancy. It was like a weight had finally been removed from my shoulders.

I stood near the trunk of his car, waiting expectantly.

“I need to go home. I’m glad we had this talk, but I’m tired. Please get my things out so I can catch the next bus.”

“Don’t be silly, I’ll drive you. Get in.” He held the door open, and I grudgingly slid inside. Moments later, we were roaring down the quiet streets toward my apartment. He parked outside my building, and I felt a sense of deja vu from the first time he’d driven me home. Except this time he was driving a Porsche rather than a used Vespa.

He opened the trunk and handed me my garment bag. I stood on the sidewalk with my head bowed, stuck in place as if by some form of energetic super glue.

“I’d like to see you again,” he said, closing his trunk.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

“God, Billy. It’s just not a good idea.” My head started to throb. I stomped my foot and bit my lip while I rubbed my temple with my free hand. He was the only man I had ever truly loved, and he was driving me insane. All I wanted to do was go take a hot shower, slip under my blankets, and sleep for the rest of my life.

“I know we both still have feelings for each other. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel it in that kiss,” he said.

“That was never our problem,” I said, pausing. “We have nothing in common and… you consume me.”

He moved toward me, shadowing me in his presence. His hands gripped my shoulders and he brought me toward him. I couldn’t fight it, even if I wanted to. And I didn’t, not really. No matter what I kept telling myself, or him, I wanted him so bad my body called out to him even with my splitting headache.

His lips pressed against mine, gently at first. His tongue flicked over my lips asking to be let inside. I parted my mouth, opening to him, allowing him in. He held me so tight. His newly formed strength only added to the sense of losing myself in him.

He pressed his tongue deep inside me, filling me, overwhelming me as only he could. I clung to him, my headache waning. Our mouths clasped to each other like two starving shipwreck survivors who’d just been given food. Need exploded within me. I could feel him rise hard against my stomach, and his firm muscled chest crushed against my breasts.

“Ask me inside,” he commanded. It instantly brought me to my senses. Billy and his commands. Even as a broke nerdling he’d been so bossy. Now, billionaire William Black probably always got what he wanted. Well, it wasn’t going to work with me.

“Not tonight,” I said, pulling away. I walked to my door and slipped inside before he could say a word.

I parked my Porsche in the underground parking lot of OpenPortal’s ten story building in downtown Seattle. I got in the elevator, and it whirred up to the tenth floor where my office was located next to Daniel’s. He and I had retained a partnership even though we’d had ideological differences at times. He’d proved to be invaluable as a business partner for his understanding of design and user interfaces.

The elevator door swished open to reveal the wide open reception area for the top executive offices of our building. High, white-tiled ceilings sparkled with modern recessed lights. Muted gray walls framed massive floor to ceiling windows that looked down on the city. 

The reception desk was a cool gray with a white and gold speckled counter. To the side was a seating area with red sofas and chairs surrounding a glass table.

Gwen, the pretty blond receptionist, smiled at me in greeting and informed me that Daniel and the other C level executives were already in the conference room.

I straightened my tie and opened the back door into the conference room. A collection of brilliant men and women sat in high backed chairs watching personal computer screens and the wall monitor with a feed from the main programmer area.

Sliding into the chair at the head of the table, I looked down at the monitor in front of me. The update installation was at 25% with no errors reported.
Excellent.
I sat back in my chair and thoughts of Zoe fought for my attention.

When I looked back down at my monitor, the installation was at 50%, and we’d had five upload errors. Daniel spoke animatedly to a programmer downstairs through the two way monitor on the wall. What had I missed? I hadn’t been this distracted in years.

The update that should have taken five hours, took twelve hours. With all the corrections we had to make, OpenPortal was down for two hours in the Midwest due to server lag. It was a disaster. Already, bloggers were writing scathing articles predicting the end of our social media dominance.

At nine in the evening, I finally made it home. My cook had left dinner for me in the refrigerator. I reheated the meal in the microwave and took it to my office. Photos of Zoe filled my screen.

I shoved a forkful of pasta in my mouth and zoomed in on an innocent looking portrait of her from when she first started modeling, back when we had been together.

The revelation that she had not gone through with the abortion changed my perceptions. Since seeing her at the charity event, I’d been determined to get her back into my life. But with the knowledge that she had not made the decision to terminate her pregnancy, made me wonder if I was going about this the wrong way.

I’d harbored anger for her through the years, even as I’d practically stalked her online. The old pain and hurt never really had gone away.

I took a bite of garlic bread and wiped my mouth with a cloth napkin. Zoe deserved better. I had to change my tactics.

The intercom buzzed from downstairs. “UPS, package for Zoe Parker.”

I buzzed him in and waited for the knock at my door. When he arrived, I signed for the box and brought it inside. There was no return address on the outside of the box. I hadn’t ordered anything and had no idea what it could be.

After placing the box on the dining room table, I went to the kitchen to get a knife. With the knife in hand, I cut open the tape to reveal the contents of the package.

Inside the cardboard was a knee length semiformal silver and white gown with matching heels. I gasped, thinking it must be a mistake. I checked the tag. Dresses by this designer were thousands of dollars apiece. I hadn’t been able to afford something like this for quite some time.

I pulled the dress from the box and a note fell to the floor. I knelt to pick it up.

Zoe,

Come with me to the symphony on Saturday night. You don’t want to miss this performance.

Love,

William

I picked up the dress and pulled it from the plastic covering. My eyes widened at the loveliness. I couldn’t resist the smile that crept across my face. I wanted to put it on, even though my head told me to box it up and send it back.

Not listening to the cynical part of my brain, I slipped out of my yoga pants and tank top and slipped into the cap sleeved dress. The silver brocade, princess bodice fit my curves perfectly, and the white tulle skirt cascaded beautifully to just above my knee. I twirled around the dining room like a little girl in her first party dress.

My phone buzzed with a text message.

My car will pick you up at eight.

I sighed, considering sending the dress back and telling him to go fuck himself. My hand ran over the intricately detailed pattern on the bodice and down the dreamy tulle skirt.
Darn it.
I wanted to wear this dress to a symphony; although, I had no interest in classical music. I
had
to wear it somewhere and that seemed like as good a place as any.

The truth was, I desperately wanted to see Billy again. His kiss had left a permanent mark on my lips, my brain, and my heart. The same mark that had been there for the last five years. No matter how much I tried to fight it, I wanted to be with him again.

My fingers flew over the touchpad on my phone.