Confessions From A Coffee Shop (13 page)

“Look who I bumped into.” I motioned to Samantha, praying Sam would pick up on the fact that I didn’t want to tell Kat we had strolled here together.

She did. “I’m meeting a buddy here.” She gave Kat a quick hug and then turned to Harold. “I’m sorry, we haven’t met.” Smiling, she put her hand out to shake.

This pleased Harold to no end. “Oh, come on, Sam. It’s me, Harold.” He blushed. I thought he might throw in, “Aw-shucks,” but he didn’t.

“Harold, you look so handsome!” Samantha did not let on that I had told her about the blind date. “What’s the occasion?”

Kat couldn’t contain herself any longer. She had to jump in. “Harold has a hot date tonight. Actually, we’re doing a
double
date.” I think she thought Samantha might immediately disappear, like magic, if she emphasized the word “double.”

Samantha had to have recognized Kat’s meaning, but she chose to ignore it completely. “Oooh! Do I know this girl, Harold?”

I liked that she hadn’t addressed the question to Kat. If Kat wanted Harold to stand on his own two feet, she had to learn to back off some. Setting him up on a date, dressing him up, and offering to go on a double date was all well and good, but eventually Harold would be on his own. Maybe I would have to play interference a lot this evening and steer the conversation back to Harold and his mystery date. I couldn’t wait to see her. Please, mystery date, show up.

“Her name’s Amber,” Harold said, failing to mention that he’d never met her. I hadn’t either.

Kat didn’t have any friends named Amber. Then it hit me. I had seen Kat fooling around on Match.com last week. She said one of her friends had recently joined up and she wanted to check out her profile. My suspicion was that Kat had set up an account for Harold. I didn’t see much good coming from this. Red lights flashed in my head.

“What’s the gift?” I asked.

Harold stared at me seriously. “A book.”

I tried not to laugh at his serious tone. “What book?”

“
Neverwhere
.”

Kat rolled her eyes, making it clear she didn’t approve of the gift. “I told him it was too soon, but he wants to test the waters.”

“If she’s not a fan, or can’t become a fan, of Gaiman, I don’t see how we’ll work out.” Harold wasn’t playing a game, even if the book was a test.

Samantha nodded, but I detected a hint of laughter in her eyes.

The book was so Harold. I felt relieved he wouldn’t let Kat push him into anything he wasn’t comfortable with. Score one for Harold. Maybe he would be able to stand on his own two feet after all.

Samantha and I sat down, and miraculously, the waitress appeared immediately.

“How much time until she shows, Harold?” asked Samantha.

Harold checked his Timex. I was relieved Kat hadn’t also tried to buy him a cooler watch. “T-minus twenty.”

“Great. I have time for a beer while I wait for my friend.” Samantha ordered a Sam Adams, and I said ditto to the waitress.

Kat’s facial muscles tightened around her intimidating grin. I wanted to tell her to get off her high horse. I was allowed to have female friends. Of course, I didn’t plan on telling her that I had a crush on Samantha back in the day, and that I suspected Samantha might have a crush on me now. Crushes were innocent‌—‌completely innocent. No reason for anyone to get their feathers ruffled.

I steered the conversation back to Gaiman. “All right, Harold. You have piqued my curiosity. I’m going to the library tomorrow to check out
Neverwhere
.”

“You won’t regret it.” Again, his tone was serious. I started to worry he might terrify the shit out of his date.

“Hey, why don’t you just borrow my copy? I’ll drop it off on Monday on my way to work,” said Sam. The waitress placed our beers on the table, and Samantha raised her glass. “To Harold, and his date.”

We all clinked glasses, even Kat, who I sensed wanted nothing more than to push Samantha off her chair and into the water. I had to do something.

“Whatcha drinking, sweetheart? Looks tasty.” I winked at her, feeling silly that I had to try so hard to convince Kat she had nothing to worry about.

“A mint julep.” She gestured for me to try it. I hated bourbon, and immediately regretted asking, but I knew Kat would be upset if I refused.

“A mint julep! Well, how very southern of you.” Kat had started reading
Gone with the Wind
the other day, so I thought her ordering a mint julep was cute. I lifted the glass. The smell of bourbon made me gag involuntarily

Ignoring it, I took the tiniest of sips and quickly set the glass down far away from me, so I couldn’t smell it.

“Not what I imagined…‌it’s much…‌stronger than I thought it would be.” I felt my eyes water.

Harold checked his watch again. Sam remained quiet but wore a wry smile.

“Don’t worry, Harold, she’ll show.” Kat tried to sooth Harold’s nerves, but it wasn’t working. Quiet, expressionless Harold had been replaced by a nervous, jumpy little man who looked like he wanted to hurl. I felt for the guy.

Samantha shot a text on her phone. Seconds later, her phone chirped. I glanced at the screen:
“I’ll see you there.”

Sam looked at me slyly. I understood she had arranged to have a friend meet her here, to keep an eye on the big date.

With all the excitement surrounding this Amber, I was starting to get jittery myself. Grabbing my beer, I almost upset my glass.

“Steady, big fella,” Samantha teased.

My grin was a bit too wide, and Kat “accidentally” kicked me under the table. Not letting on about the kick to my shin, I said, “Geez, one beer and I’m already acting tipsy. Good thing I have my lovely Kat here to take care of me.”

It appeased her some, and she placed a hand on mine lovingly‌—‌or possessively. “Always.” Her voice was too cheery, her smile so forced it was silly looking. But I found it endearing anyway and raised Kat’s hand to my lips, fearful she might take the opportunity to throttle me otherwise. Just because Uncle Roger was a cheater and Mom thought Dad was one as well, didn’t mean I was.

“I better snag those two seats at the bar, so my friend and I don’t have to stand all night.” Samantha grabbed her purse from the hook under the table. “Harold, I’ll be keeping an eye on you so I can learn some of your moves.” She winked. Harold’s aw-shucks demeanor returned. Samantha’s tone and body language didn’t indicate she was mocking him. I admired her ability to be heartfelt, even when Kat was staring at her like a lioness stalking her dinner.

The two barstools were right in front of the television. I was jealous. From there, Samantha would be able to watch the rest of the game. My sole entertainment was Harold and his date, and I cringed at the thought of watching him crash and burn.

Kat rose and sat next to me, so Harold’s date could sit next to him. D-Day was just a few minutes away. I sucked in a long breath. God I hoped Amber would show.

Five minutes ticked by. Kat did her best to keep the conversation going, but after ten minutes, I glanced over my shoulder at the worried look on Samantha’s face. Was it possible Amber wouldn’t show?

Beads of perspiration appeared on Harold’s brow. Poor guy. I tried to think of something to say to ease his suffering, but drew blanks. Even Kat looked concerned and wasn’t her chatty self. Harold fiddled with the wrapped book, accidently tearing the corner off.

“Um, are you Harold?” a timid voice came from directly behind me.

Harold glanced up, but didn’t speak.

Kat bounced out of her chair, “Are you Amber?”

“Yeah. I’m so sorry I’m late. Got held up at work.” She continued to stand behind me.

Harold was gaping at her, his eyes bugged. I didn’t want to turn and make the girl feel even more awkward. If I were her, I would be running for the exit.

“Oh, no apologies needed. You’re here, and that’s all that matters.” Kat led Amber to the seat next to the bug-eyed Gaiman fan.

I nudged Harold’s foot under the table, pleading for him to stop gawking. He either ignored me completely or didn’t understand my meaning.

“Let me get the ball rolling. Amber, this is Harold.” Kat motioned to Harold, who finally smiled bashfully and took his eyes off Amber. At least he wasn’t ogling her like she was a science project gone awry. “And this is my girlfriend, Cori.”

I shook Amber’s hand across the table. “Very nice to meet you.”

Harold still said nothing.

“Where do you work, Amber?” asked Kat.

“I’m a paralegal at a law firm.” Amber fidgeted with the purse on her lap and looked miserable.

One minute in, and already I wanted pull the ripcord.

“Harold and Cori work at Beantown Café together. That’s how we all know each other.” Kat was grasping at straws.

“Oh, that’s nice.” Amber didn’t sound impressed.

“I also teach at Adams University. British lit,” I added, and then kicked myself. She wasn’t my date to impress and I made Harold look even more like a loser.
Dammit, Cori, you and your ego.

“Really?” Finally, her face had some expression: excitement. “I love to read.”

Her statement kindled an ounce of life in Harold’s body language. He nodded and peeked at her from the corner of his eyes. Then he stared at the water again. Baby steps, Harold, baby steps.

“Who’s your favorite author?” I held my breath after my query.
Please say Neil Gaiman. Please, please.

I felt Kat squeeze my leg in anticipation, digging all five nails deep into my thigh.

“J.K. Rowling.”

Dammit!

“Which Potter book is your favorite?”

I was stunned to note that the question came from Harold. Seriously, I almost fell out of my chair. Kat slapped my thigh victoriously. A connection had been made. Halle-fucking-lujah.

Amber turned to Harold, a stern look on her face. “
Half-Blood Prince
. You?” Her tone implied she was ready for a duel‌—‌or a quidditch match.

“
Order of the Phoenix
, but
Half-Blood
is my second favorite.” Harold was just as serious.

“Thank goodness. I can’t be friends with someone who thinks
Azkaban
is the best.”

“True, but you can’t have the rest of the series without the foundation of
Azkaban
.”

And they were off, ladies and gentlemen. For the next twenty minutes, Amber and Harold immersed themselves in the world of Harry Potter. Kat and I stayed mute. In fact, I was in awe. The two nerds didn’t notice anyone or anything going on around them. Even when the bar erupted into cheers when David Ortiz hit a homer, they didn’t stop talking. All that mattered was Harry Potter.

The waitress came by and Amber took a breather from Pottermania to order a glass of water. The poor girl must have been parched. Kat and I ordered another round: mint julep for her, and a beer for me. Harold ordered a Coke. He hadn’t touched his whiskey. Why he had ordered that again perplexed me. He had hated it at the gay bar. Thank goodness his date hadn’t ordered an alcoholic drink or poor Harold would have had to try his best to choke down the firewater.

“How do you feel about Neil Gaiman?”

It was only a matter of time before Harold introduced the subject. I had hoped he’d ride the Potter bus a tad longer, build a little more rapport before he hit his make-or-break topic.

Amber tapped her fork on the table. “I tried reading
American Gods
, but I couldn’t get into it.”

Mayday! Mayday!

Kat’s fingers dug into my thigh again. Both of us stifled gasps, our mouths open. I sensed Samantha knew trouble was brewing; I don’t know how. I could just feel her observing and praying.

Harold was the only one who remained calm. “I see.” He sipped his Coke, which the waitress had just set down. “That is one of the tougher ones to get into if you’re not used to his writing. Have you read
Neverwhere
?”

“
Neverwhere
… never even heard of it.”

I’m pretty sure Amber didn’t mean it as a joke. Her face flushed, and her eyes filled with panic.

Harold thought the joke was hysterical. “Never even heard of it…‌that’s a good one.” Harold guffawed, dabbing his eyes with his sleeve.

I really hoped the sweater wasn’t cashmere. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Harold was acting somewhat cool; maybe even a little flirtatious.

He pushed the wrapped book across the table to Amber. “I got you this. I’m not saying you have to love it, but if you want us to be friends, you have to give it a chance.”

Did I say he was being flirtatious? Now he was giving her an ultimatum‌—‌on the first date.

Oh, Harold. I love you man, but sometimes you are too much.

“Really?” Amber raised her eyebrows. Picking up the gift, she hesitated a minute before quickly tearing off the paper.

“Ha! I had a feeling.”

Harold remained silent.

Kat and I stared at the poor girl.

Amber stayed calm. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll read this, but you have to read my favorite book.”

“Which is?” asked Mr. Debonair.

“
Pride and Prejudice
.”

“The chick book!” Harold’s voice cracked, bringing a rush of color to his face.

“Yup! The chick book.” Amber nodded confidently.

I liked her style. The first few moments of the date had been awkward, but once she settled in, Amber had shown herself to be self-assured, playful, and nerdy. For the first time, I was starting to appreciate Kat’s efforts in finding Harold a date. I owed her an apology. I smiled, relishing that thought of thanking her later this evening maybe with a kiss or more.

“Oh, all right. But I’m not buying it. I bet I can find a free copy for my Kindle.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to endanger your machismo.” Amber batted her eyelids at him.

Machismo and Harold: who would have ever put those two words together?

The waitress returned and we decided to start with a bucket of peel-n-eat shrimp. Not my preferred food choice for a first date‌—‌there isn’t a neat way to eat them‌—‌but the two of them dug in as soon as the bucket hit the table. Gotta love nerds. They’ll go crazy about books, but table manners don’t matter.

While she ate, I took a moment to study Amber. Blue eyes sparkled behind black-framed glasses, which she was forever pushing higher up on her nose. Her skirt and baggy sweater screamed nerdy librarian. I didn’t know much about paralegals, but I assumed she had to dress like that for work, or maybe she had changed and this really was her date attire.