Confessions of a Hostie 3 (5 page)

I really like her.

I tell Kathy of my plans for the following
morning; breakfast with the orangutans at Singapore Zoo.

'I haven't been to the zoo for, well, it
would be 20 years' she says, 'and I have never had breakfast with
the orangutans. Are you thinking of going on your own?'

In a heartbeat I invite Kathy to join me
in.

Several crew talk of having a drink by the
pool after we arrive at the hotel in Singapore. To my surprise
Kathy is one of the first to accept. It takes little persuasion for
me to also say yes. It is not so much about the drinking, but the
chance to unwind, to be social, and to spend time with someone
intelligent and wise.

I don't drink much, however I drink often. It
is a lifestyle attracting sociable people. We don't have to drink,
yet most of us do. As office workers often get together over a few
drinks at the end of a long week, we too get together after an
arduous day. We are at a nice hotel with a superb pool area and, as
crew, we get discounted drinks. It is understandable why many
airline crew, after work, have either a cold beer or a glass of
wine in hand. When drinking in our hotel we don't have to drive
anywhere, being only a short stagger from our beds. It is a perfect
drinker's storm - or should that be: a drinker's perfect storm?
Either way, we are having drinks as we so often do - yippee.

The drinks, the people, and the location by
the pool are awesome. There is so soothing looking at water. Five
of the crew turn up, which is not a bad turnout for a mature crew.
Kathy is again delightful. She is not shy, yet she is not one to
dominate conversations. She has much wisdom and experience, however
I get the feeling she wants to learn much more. She listens
intently to others, occasionally asking questions; not inane silly
questions, but questions which help a conversation - not kill
it.

I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said:
Every person I meet is my superior in some way in that I learn from
them.

Kathy absorbs every word spoken.

One thing I find annoying, at times, is when
crew get together over drinks to talk purely about work. Often it
is about incidences onboard, and that I accept because some of
those occurrences are quite traumatic. It helps to talk it out,
though the conversations which irk me are when crew talk about
procedural, service, or safety work-related issues.

I sometimes think to myself 'Here we have a
group of intelligent, worldly people; we've just had 12 hours on an
aircraft where inane work-related issues could be discussed and yet
you now choose to talk about it? There are so many other
interesting subjects we could be talking about, however we are
talking shop.'

Why?

There is no such thing as a typical hostie. I
see a commonality in many crew: compassion, sociability, and poise
(just to name a few) - nonetheless, everyone is an individual. Most
flight attendants had some other working career before joining the
airline. Many have fascinating interests, sometimes continuing
other careers outside of flying.

I know it can be like a security blanket to
talk about subjects we all know and experience, yet I find it
frustrating. The pilots are just as bad as cabin crew. So many
times I've heard a group of pilots in a social situation talking
technical airplane jargon. Remember these people sit up in a
sterile locked-up environment for hours and hours with often
nothing better to do than talk about technical airplane jargon
anyway. It is a social human trait I fail to grasp.

Some of the most amazing people I have met
are airline crew, inclusive of pilots. I've spent untold hours
chatting about wine to a captain who owns his own vineyard and
winery, another who lives on a 50 foot yacht, a first officer who
breeds horses, a captain who restores old aerobatic aircraft to fly
them, ... just to name a few.

Over the years I've had some incredible
conversations with the techies (pilots), usually chatting
one-on-one. For some reason put three or four tech crew together in
a social situation and they feel this inane need to talk about
airplanes.

Regardless of what the pilots talk about, I
have the utmost respect for what they do. Airplanes are by and
large very safe. I've been on flights involved in a few minor
incidences and I must say the pilots in each and every instance
were awesome. It helps to have that confidence in the personnel
driving at 30,000-plus-feet in the air.

By the way, I am always happy to hear their
stories about such incidences. How they handle the situations and
relay the stories, well, that's fascinating.

No pilots are poolside tonight, only cabin
crew. After a refreshing drink, we decide to grab a bite to eat.
Crew are incredibly finicky about their taste in cuisine. A
restaurant must tick a number of boxes to get our seal of approval:
it must be good, cheap, and close to the hotel. Rarely do we dine
in five-star opulence. In Singapore, and almost everywhere else in
the world, we eat at casual, inexpensive cafes with good authentic
food. That is exactly the type of place we go to tonight. All the
crew have been before; ordering the same dishes as I have seen
previous crews order.

If it aint broke, why fix it?

Singapore is a mix-match of different
cultures and influences, being reflected in their food. As many
Indians have immigrated to countries like Malaysia and Singapore,
the Indian cuisine is typically excellent. The local Singaporean
cuisine has many inspirations from surrounding countries such as
Malaysia and Indonesia, although western influences can be seen as
well. The most famous local dish is chilli crab. For crew to share
in the experience of ripping apart crab legs is messy and hard to
divide evenly, therefore crab is not ordered. Most times when crew
eat together, particularly in Asia, we order a number of different
dishes to throw into the middle of the table to share. This is the
case, as it always is, at the little café tonight.

Butter squid, chilli prawns (shrimp), Asian
veggies, chicken in curry sauce, pepper beef, and three different
rice dishes are just a few of the dishes to grace the table. I
rarely drink beer, but when you are on the equator and the nearest
quality chilled wine is in your dreams, then beer it is. It is
amazing how refreshing an ice cold drink of any description can be
when the outside temperature is as hot as the chilli prawns you are
eating. Even so, one beer for me is ample. Mind you, the glass is
massive.

Apart from the one beer each, Kathy and I
only drank two glasses of wine each by the pool. For some that is a
lot, but for seasoned drinkers, like ourselves, it is
par-for-the-course. Thanks to the effects of jetlag, waking up with
a hangover is sometimes not easily recognizable. I should have no
such problems tomorrow.

The clock must have ticked past 2.15 a.m.
without me noticing. I have a great sleep, waking up as refreshed
as can be expected given this job and lifestyle. Kathy told me to
call her any time after eight in the morning. Kathy revealed she
has a coffee addiction.

'Funny about that...' I said with a grin.

We meet at Starbucks to collectively sigh
'Ah-h-h' before catching a cab to the zoo.

By the way, taxis are so cheap in Asia. A
country like Singapore is small, yet traveling from one side to the
other by cab costs little more than going to the next suburb in a
city like Los Angeles. Consequently, taxis in Asia are usually my
preferred transport choice.

Breakfast with the orangutans is fun. It is
not really as the name
breakfast with the
orangutan
s suggests - we are not sitting at a dining
table sharing toast and jam with orangutans. It is a normal
breakfast with orangutans nearby, with their handlers. Orangutans
are beautiful creatures. They perform a few tricks. It is quite
demeaning for such a majestic animal being captive, nevertheless
the whole zoo experience is about seeing the animals and
learning.

We cannot overthink the situation.

At one point handlers bring out a snake; a
python. This is no snake - this is an aircraft fuselage with a
forked tongue. They ask me if I would like to pose for a photo with
this reptile of gargantuan proportions draped around my neck.

Not on your life.

I would rather tackle a drunk, crazy
passenger on the plane (which I have) than touch a snake. It is one
of the funny things in life; most women are so strong and fearless,
yet we scream when we see a spider - or a snake. I know I do.

I tell Kathy about some of my onboard
physical encounters - in an attempt to demonstrate that being
scared of a snake doesn't prove I am a coward. I did not really
want to talk about work with Kathy, yet I know in my 20 years of
flying how many incidences have occurred. I was wondering if Kathy
had similar events in her career, being twice as long as mine. She
had.

She tells of an incident almost 30 years ago;
back in the days when the flight deck was not more secure than Fort
Knox. Since September 11 that all changed. There are now codes,
passwords, secret handshakes... Seriously, to get into the
flight-deck for crew is a complicated procedure these days. It
would be almost impossible for potential bad guys. It was a
different aviation world 30 years ago.

Kathy tells of a passenger, a big man, who
was drunk and delusional. For some reason he decided he needed to
go to the flight deck. Another passenger travelling with the man
followed him toward the front of the plane, yelling at the man to
return to his seat - and thus drawing attention to the crew. Kathy
was closest to the flight deck door, with two other male flight
attendants working nearby.

'What ensued just happened so quickly: the
delusional man threw a punch at the man trying to stop him going to
the flight deck - and then he grabbed the man and threw him into
the door - and THROUGH the door. As you know, in the old days the
doors weren't secure, in fact they often had a panel which could be
kicked out in an emergency. Anyhow, the panel of the door opened up
and before we knew it both men were in the flight deck, on the
floor, right on front of the instrumentation and controls between
the seats of the two techies. Bodies were thrashing around
everywhere. You should have seen the look on the techies' faces.
The bigger man, the delusional one, is on top and about to do,
well, I do not really know what - this in serious stuff, so I dived
in on top of him. The other two crew did the same. So we now have
five bodies stacked on top of each other in the flight deck, right
in front of the techies, while they are trying to fly the plane -
and this idiot is still thrashing about. I think the FO (First
Officer) at one point rammed his elbow into this guy's head. I know
I had my arms wrapped around his neck, like a wrestler. I couldn't
believe how strong this guy was.'

As I listen to Kathy telling the story, I am
mesmerized. Flight decks are tiny. I can just imagine the horror of
the situation.

She tells of how they managed to subdue the
man and then drag him a few paces backwards, while still in the
flight deck doorway - in full view of passengers. Kathy and the two
other flight attendants were handed handcuffs. They then attempted
to cuff the man.

'This guy is still thrashing about. He is
also making noises like a wounded animal. His brain is obviously
scrambled, but he is very strong. As you know, we are not
policemen. Trying to handcuff this brute wasn't easy. I reckon it
took at least two minutes to get the handcuffs on him. That's a
long time when you are being thrown around and you know if you let
go of him he could end up back in the flight deck and doing
who-knows-what? Anyhow, we finally got the cuffs on, but this guy
kept thrashing about...'

I am spellbound as Kathy tells of the
incident of the out-of-control man in the flight deck, explaining
how she and the crew handcuffed him. Although the man's arms were
restrained, she told that he continued to thrash around. She was
bumped and buffeted when they bundled him to a seat. Regarding the
scuffle in the flight deck, she is unsure of how many times she was
hit, although recalls it was numerous. She tells that the flight
wasn't full so they were able to move some nearby front row
passengers to other seats to then bundle the cuffed man into the
seat, using seatbelts and whatever they could to strap the man
down. They also covered him in a blanket as he was making so much
noise.

I've heard, on other airlines, of passengers
who have had their mouths gaffer-taped shut. I guess when the
comfort of the other passengers is compromised, one has to do what
one has to do.

An interesting observation Kathy makes about
the incident is she said that not one passenger got up to help
while the event occurred.

In her words: 'They all sat there looking
like stunned mullets.'

The flight deck door, and the incident, was
in full view of many passengers, yet no one left their seat to
help. She noted that this was before September 11.

'I think these days if some lunatic was
threatening the flight deck you'd have every passenger jumping out
of their seats and attacking him within a heartbeat.'

It is a wise observation. What happened on
September 11 changed the aviation industry forever. I know our
emergency training has changed. If there was a hijack threat of any
description we were once told to be passive and negotiate. Now we
are trained to use whatever force or means necessary to overwhelm
the perpetrator or perpetrators. Passengers too know the possible
consequences of inaction.