Confessions of a Litigation God: A Legal Affairs Full Length Erotic Novel (20 page)

Macy cautiously
rises from her chair. “I think I’m going to head to bed
now and give you two a little space.”

Neither Mac nor I
acknowledge her exit. I need to set this straight. I need to take
away the hurt, but I also need to make sure she understands…
what I said wasn’t done in a cruel vein.

“I’m
sorry,” I tell her genuinely. “That was crude. But it’s
the truth. I told you I don’t do relationships, Mac. I always—”

Mac holds her hand
up, and I stop mid-sentence. “No, what you said was honest and
you’re right… you’ve been very clear about things
with me. If there’s one thing I appreciate about you, is that
you always give me honesty.”

She gives me an
understanding smile, and the message is clear. She appreciates my
honesty more than she hates the hurt, and fuck… that right
there makes me feel a million times worse.

“Do you want
me to go?” I ask.

“No,”
she says with confidence and keeps her smile in place. “Stay.
Finish eating and let’s go shake the apartment’s
foundation.”

“Okay,”
I say carefully, allowing a small smile in return.

“So, I found
an interesting article that could help us on the speeding issue in
the
Jackson
case,” she says suddenly, and just like
that, Mac is turning this awkward moment around, and giving us both
something to talk about that is safe.

We spend the next
twenty minutes discussing the law, and Mac seems to be okay. She’s
her usual funny and sassy self, making me laugh periodically without
even trying. I help her clean up the remains of our dinner, Macy
never having reappeared, and then she leads me back to her bedroom by
the hand.

And fuck if
something just doesn’t feel wrong about this.

Is it me swimming in
guilt because I hurt Mac? Is it me having a moral conflict because
all I seem to do is share a meal with her and then take advantage of
what she offers me sexually?

When she closes the
door behind us, she turns in my arms and wraps her arms around my
neck. Her voice sounds like a hot summer night when she says, “I’m
thinking doggie style should be on the agenda tonight. I promise not
to sing ‘Who let the dogs out?’.”

I’m still
swimming in guilt, but I can’t help it… her words send a
shot of lust to my dick, which immediately starts transforming into
the hard beast that’s going to fuck her senseless… and
apparently doggie style.

Sticking my nose in
her neck, I inhale her scent. “You are so fucking sexy, Mac.
What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?”

She doesn’t
answer but reaches a hand down to cup my erection. She palms me
gently, rubbing slightly on the outside edges of my dick. It’s
sweetly erotic and makes me ache in my bones to have her.

Lifting my face from
her neck, I look down at her and she’s watching me with sad
eyes.

“I’m
really sorry,” I tell her sincerely. It doesn’t change
the truth of my words, because I was being truthful in what I said. I
don’t take women that I’m fucking back to my place, and
I’m so very sorry that it hurts Mac, but she really is nothing
more than a woman I’m fucking. “I’m sorry if it
hurt your feelings.”

Mac places her
fingers over my lips and says, “Shh. You don’t have to
apologize.”

“But I just
want you to know that my intent wasn’t to—”

“Matt…
I’m seriously okay. I’m a big girl, and I understand well
what is going on between us. I don’t have any glamorous
expectations that this is anything more than a fuck. You’ve
been unbelievably clear about that with me and never once have you
made me think otherwise.”

“Haven’t
I?” I can’t help but ask, because Mac can’t have
feelings for me based on the phenomenal sex we’ve been having.

Or can she?

She smiles at me, a
little mischievously, and says, “Well… I’ll admit…
the flowers you brought tonight threw me off a little.”

I knew those fucking
flowers would haunt me. I knew they’d send the wrong message.

Except, I have no
clue what message I was hoping they’d send. I just thought they
were beautiful, and she deserved them. Nothing more. Doesn’t
mean I want to get married or anything.

“Hey…
where did you go just now?” Mac asks, taking her fingers and
squeezing my jaw to get my attention.

“I just
thought… I just thought the flowers were beautiful and that
you deserved them.”

“I deserved
them?” she asks, eyebrow cocked.

“Yeah…
you know… for that amazing blow job you gave me this weekend,”
I tell her with a devious smile.

She looks at me a
moment and throws her head back, laughing at my audacity. She
entrances me when she laughs, especially because she has the most
gorgeous lips I’ve ever seen. So I just stare at her.

When she finally
brings her eyes back to me, the humor is gone and desire is back in
place. She squeezes my cock again with her hand. “Okay…
let’s put all this silliness to rest. Up for some doggy style?”

Relieved that we
don’t have to talk about this anymore, I flex into her hand, I
say, “You know the answer to that already.”

I take the long way
to my office through the maze of cubicles and hallways. It’s no
coincidence that the long way just happens to lead me past Mac’s
office. Just thought I’d stick my head in, ogle her privately
for a second or two, and say good morning. It’s not something
I’ve ever done before, and I don’t know why I’m
doing it now.

Maybe it has
something to do with the uneasy feeling I woke with after last night
with Mac. It’s still rubbing me a bit raw that I hurt her
feelings. She let me off the hook easily, and I’m so grateful
for that, but I don’t feel absolved.

As I turn the corner
to the hallway that houses Mac’s office, I can see immediately
she’s not in because the office is dark. I stroll right on by,
not even taking a peek inside.

Odd that she’s
not here. She usually always beats me into the office, and I know
this because there’s usually an email from her on a case that’s
waiting for me to read.

“What’s
up, Matt?” Rob Gendhard says as he approaches me in the hall.
He’s one of our litigation attorneys, been with me for almost
eight years, and is a conceited jackass.

But he’s a
hell of a lawyer.

“Not much,”
I tell him affably as we come to a stop in the hall. “What do
you have on the agenda today?”

“A Motion for
Sanctions scheduled for this afternoon, but just catching up on stuff
this morning. Heading down to Mac’s office right now.”

“Oh yeah?”
I ask with vague curiosity. I didn’t realize he was having her
help him with anything.

Rob leans in closer
to me. “Yeah… think I’m going to ask her out. She
looks like she’d be an amazing fuck, don’t you think?”

He laughs at his own
crude statement and I have to curl my fingers into the palms of my
hands, digging my nails in, so I don’t punch the motherfucker.

And since I can’t
beat the shit out of him, I decide to use real power instead.

“Don’t
even think about it,” I warn him. “You get me sued for a
hostile work environment or some shit like that, I’ll have to
fire your ass. You know there’s no fraternizing among superiors
and subordinates, and you, Rob, are her superior.”

Rob’s eyebrows
shoot high, and disappointment etches all over his face. “But
she doesn’t work underneath me. How am I her superior?”

“You’re
in litigation and one of the senior associates. She’s in
litigation and is at the bottom of the rung. You’re her
superior.”

Blinking at me for a
few moments, he says quietly, “I didn’t think of it that
way. Sorry. You’re right… that wouldn’t be good.”

I nod my head at him
curtly, because I still want to kick his ass, and start to move past
him. I don’t feel a shred of remorse for placing a standard on
Rob that I myself am not willing to abide by. Truth be told, if Mac
weren’t involved with me, there really wouldn’t be
anything wrong with them having a relationship. But Mac is involved
with me and there’s no way I’m sharing her.

“Hey, Matt?”
Rob asks and I turn halfway to look at him, raising my chin in
question. “You all right? You seem a little on edge.”

I try to relax my
face, so he doesn’t see that I still want to pound him into the
dirt. “I’m fine. Just a lot on my plate today.”

“All right.
I’ll see you around.”

I don’t
respond and walk away.

When I get to my
office, I flop in my chair and boot up my laptop. My mind starts
thinking about the work I need to do today, but then gets sidetracked
by thinking about Mac. This is happening more and more lately, and
it’s kind of a pain in the ass. One of the things that makes me
so fucking great at what I do… why I’m a litigation god…
is because I have tremendous focus and determination.

Not so much
“post-Mac”.

When my computer
fully boots, I note I have a meeting this afternoon with a doctor
that’s going to testify in a nursing home abuse case for me. I
quickly send an email to my paralegal and ask her to pull the medical
records on that case so I can review them this morning.

I start going
through my other email, nothing in the subject lines standing out as
urgent. When I get to one from my HR director, Karen Anders, that
simply says “Employee Emergency,” I almost bypass it
because it’s not marked urgent and I’m sure it’s
just informational. Karen has been with me from the day I opened the
doors to this firm, is well equipped to handle 99.9% of the human
resource matters, and usually just tells me what she did so I can put
that away in my memory under the file entitled “Useless
Knowledge”.

I almost hit the
delete button without even reading it, but something makes me pause.
Mac isn’t in yet… what if the emergency is about her?

My palms immediately
get sweaty, and my heart starts madly tripping. I open the email, and
my eyes immediately focus on the words
McKayla Dawson
.

My heart beat pulses
so hard that it feels like it will jump out of my chest.

The message is
simple.

Matt,

McKayla Dawson’s
roommate called me a bit ago and advised me that Miss Dawson has a
family emergency and had to leave for Nashville last night. Her
roommate said she expects she’ll be out several days.

FYI, so you can
make sure someone can cover her cases for her. I’ll update you
if I find anything else out.

Karen

Bolting out of my
chair, I walk—practically run—to Karen’s office.
She’s thankfully alone when I barge through the door and looks
up at me from her computer with a smile.

“Good
morning,” she says cheerfully.

“What happened
with Mac?”

Karen blinks at me,
because yeah… the way I asked it was urgent and blunt, and it
was rude I didn’t acknowledge her greeting.

“Um…
I’m not sure. Her roommate just said it was a family emergency.
I’m sorry… I didn’t think to ask other details. I
just took her word that it truly was an emergency.”

Breathing out a huge
sigh of frustration, I rake my hands through my hair and try to think
of what to do.

“You don’t
think this is made up so she could take time off?” Karen asks,
her eyes now narrowed in suspicion.

My head snaps in her
direction. “No way. Mac’s not like that.”

Karen’s jaw
sort of drops because she heard it. Heard the tone of my voice. Heard
that I know Mac on a bit of a deeper level than just a new employee.

“Give me her
roommate’s number,” I demand, trying to keep my voice at
a polite decibel but I think… ultimately… failing. Good
thing Karen’s seen all of my moods, even the worst, so she
doesn’t even bat an eye at that.

Typing a few
keystrokes on her computer, she pulls something up on her screen. Her
eyes search back and forth and when she finds what she wants, she
writes it down on yellow sticky note for me.

“Thanks,”
I manage to say as I take the paper and head out her door. Pulling my
cell phone from my jacket pocket, I dial the number Karen just gave
me and head back toward my office. As it rings, I pass a few people
in the hall who make eye contact with me and then drop their gaze
quickly. I know what my face is saying. It’s saying,
I’m
upset and if you know what’s good for you, don’t say a
fucking word to me.

Macy answers on the
second ring. “Hello.”

“What the hell
is going on with Mac and why am I just hearing about it from my human
resources director?” I demand.

Macy does something
that stuns me. She starts crying.

Loud.

“Macy,”
I try to get her attention as I make it back to my office. “You
need to calm down and tell me what’s going on. You’re
freaking me the fuck out.”

I can hear her take
a deep breath in and let it out. “I’m sorry. I’m
just so worried. Mac’s mom was in a bad car accident, and she
tore out of here last night. She’s driving to Nashville, and I
haven’t heard from her. I’ve been calling all night and
this morning, and nothing. What if something happened to her?”

“Nothing
happened to her,” I assure Macy quickly, and I say it with
confidence because I have to believe that. “What happened to
her mom?”

Macy starts crying
again, but it’s soft and she manages to talk through it as I
sit down at my desk. “I don’t know the details of what
happened, but the doctor said she was brain dead. Was on life
support.”

FUCK!

Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck.

My heart explodes in
sadness for Mac, and I immediately worry about her. “Does she
have any other family down there?”

“No. Her dad
died a few years ago and the rest of them are out in California.
Matt… I tried to go with her, but she told me no… said
she didn’t need me. She sounded like a robot… like she
was on auto pilot or something.”