Confessions of a Naughty Night Nurse (6 page)

‘I paid for us to go and see the best doctor in town. A ton of tests later, we got our answer. I was shooting blanks, no swimmers at all. Not one little bugger to even have a go at wriggling into an ovum. All that time I’d been so proud of my huge quantities of jizz, presuming it to be laden with tadpoles, and it was just empty juice – vodka and lemonade without the damn vodka.’

‘That’s bad luck,’ I said. ‘I’m really sorry.’

‘Yeah, we were too, devastated in fact, and I began to drink heavily again, something I’d stopped doing. My luck took a downward turn at the tables, not that it mattered. I only gambled with my spare change really. The casino was my steady wage and paid the bills. I guess I was depressed again but didn’t recognise it at the time.

‘It was a few months before I noticed there was something different about Cleo. She was putting on weight, eating weird stuff and sleeping all the time. She couldn’t hide her pregnancy from me for another day.

‘Her confirmation of my suspicion really turned my world upside down. That feeling, dreams coming true, existed for an entire three seconds, then she blurted out that the baby was Stan’s. Stan was my best friend, the guy I’d set up the casino with. It seemed during my depression Stan had been cheering Cleo up, not with a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers, but with his big, fat, cheating dick.

‘If I thought I’d been depressed before, then now I was rock bottom. Cleo announced that she was in love with Stan and wanted to divorce me and marry him so he could raise his child. Talk about getting kicked in the guts when you’re already down. I’m pretty sure I would have made a go of it, with her and the baby, if she’d just given me some time to get used to the idea. I loved her with all my heart and could have loved her child. But Cleo always was an instant gratification kind of girl. If she wanted something she wanted it now, and right then, she wanted Stan.

‘So there was nothing left for me to do but sell the house and move away. I didn’t fancy Greece and a sister who still wouldn’t speak to me and a fiancée who I hoped had moved on with her life but would probably still garrote me given the chance.’

‘So that’s how you came back to the UK?’ I asked, finishing up with his feet and putting the cream back on the shelf.

‘Yes, I went to Manchester. It was where I knew and I took a job in marketing. I hated it, despite climbing the ranks pretty quickly. Everyone there was such a shark, ready to take chunks out of one another to look good or claim an idea or strategy. I might not be a model citizen, but I knew right from wrong, and the things that went on at this place, well it was just plain immoral.

‘So five years ago, divorced, alone, and in a job I hated, I upped sticks to the Dales and joined the fire service. It wasn’t as well paid as marketing. But for the first time I felt like I was doing something worthwhile. The guys I worked with were salt-of-the-earth types and the people I helped genuinely in need. I finally found a sense of peace within myself.’

He sighed, and I helped him drink a little more of his beer. He gulped quickly, taking over half the drink in one go.

‘Until three weeks ago,’ he said licking his lips. ‘That damn beam came down and this happened.’ He held up his bandaged hands. ‘I guess it could have been worse though.’

‘Yep, you could not be here at all, same goes for the person you saved,’ I said, squeezing out the flannel.

He gave a small shudder. ‘I know, I’m used to risking myself but the thought of a bad judgment or a twist of fate having implications for someone else makes my blood run cold if I think about it too much.’

‘I know what you mean.’

‘Yeah, I’m sure, doing the job you do.’

Our eyes connected briefly.

‘So have you been going through all of this alone?’ I asked.

‘I’ve got good friends, the best. The guys from the station have been in and out visiting.’ He sighed. ‘But an accident like this, it kind of reminds them all of their own mortality and the risks they take on a daily basis. It’s not easy viewing.’

‘What about your sister? Has she been to see you?’

‘No. I sent her a letter two weeks ago. I know it arrived in Greece, I sent it recorded delivery. She signed for it but she hasn’t answered. Not yet anyway.’

I shook my head. What a cow. An injured brother and she ignores him because of something that happened years ago. Life was too short. I had no siblings and would have done just about anything to have a brother or sister when I was growing up. Some people didn’t know how lucky they were.

‘Hey, don’t look sorry for me,’ he said. ‘That’s the last thing I need. I’m sure it will all work out.’ He grinned. ‘Me and Mr Cobra down there have had some serious fun, and one thing I’ve learnt is you’ve gotta take the ups with the downs. This is just one of the downs, I’ll get through it no matter what the future holds.’ His eyes sparkled, telling his story had obviously made him wonder what direction his life would take from here. Would he be able to go back to the job that had finally given him his place in the world and brought him peace?

‘Of course you’ll be fine. These injuries can heal amazingly despite what they first look like plus you’re getting the best possible treatment here.’ I smiled and nodded at his groin. ‘And part of that treatment means, I’m afraid, it’s time to wash Mr Cobra if that’s okay?’

He shrugged and a rise of colour bloomed on his cheeks. He averted his eyes from mine. ‘Sure thing.’

I pulled his boxers down, exposing his cock, then carefully washed him. When I’d finished I reached for the towel and set about the job of drying.

I glanced up.

He’d dropped his head back onto the pillow. His lips were a tight, flat line and his bandaged hands rested on the bed at his side. His breaths were coming a little fast. The red bloom on his cheeks had deepened.

I carried on drying. I’d washed and dried thousands of cocks, big and small, long and short. It was just part of my job. Nothing to get worked up about. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

He blew out a slow breath, the air breezing over my arm.

I glanced up at him again, and then noticed, with shock, that there was a stiffening in his penis.

He lifted his head and squirmed. ‘Shit, sorry. Sharon, fucking hell …’ He wore an expression of acute mortification, tugging on his bottom lip with his teeth and his eyes narrowed to thin slits.

‘It’s OK,’ I said. I hadn’t quite finished drying. ‘Natural reaction to stimulation.’

‘Well, you better stop stimulating.’ He swallowed tightly. ‘Or my problem here is just going to get worse.’

I dried his cock a little firmer, in a movement that I knew would elicit a groan. I couldn’t help it. Something just took over me. I had to do it.

‘Ah, ah …’ he gasped and his abdominal muscles tensed. ‘That feels nice but it’s gotta be way out of your job description.’

‘What, helping an injured man feel a little more … comfortable?’ Damn, what was the matter with me? My hands were acting of their own accord, a devil inside me was prodding my arms with his shocking little fork and shouting ‘go on, go on’.

‘Comfortable is one way of putting it.’ Ted sucked in a deep breath, his wide chest expanding and his teeth gritting. His gaze was fixed on his groin.

‘You want me to stop?’ I asked. I had the towel spread out and was holding his shaft over the top of it. I could have got away with saying I was still drying it, but barely – my movements were recognisable as stimulating to any adult across the four corners of the world.

‘I feel I should say yes, stop. Morally, that is,’ he said in a tense voice. ‘But …’

The head of his cock was poking out of the towel and protruding from his foreskin. He was heading to full hardness pretty quickly and I couldn’t help but be impressed that Mr Viper, or whatever he’d called it, was in such good form after all he’d been through recently. ‘But what, Ted?’

‘But, fuck, all that talking about shagging, a cold beer and then you doing that. I couldn’t help it.’

‘You want me to carry on?’ I could get into so much shit for this. I knew that. But sod it. Ted deserved to be treated like a man, the hero he was. And, at the end of the day, with those bandaged hands he could hardly bring himself any relief. This was a mercy mission and I was the only one here to stand up for the job.

‘Ted? Do you want me to carry on,’ I asked again.

‘Yes,’ he said almost in a whisper. His gaze caught mine. ‘If you don’t mind.’

‘I don’t mind at all.’ And I suddenly realised I didn’t. What was the definition of holistic care? Attending to all of your patients needs. Well, I was just taking that one step further. Maslow would be proud of the lengths I was going to help Ted reach self-actualisation. Well, self-actualising for a few minutes, at least.

‘Jesus fucking Christ,’ he groaned, staring down at my hand, which I was working faster now. ‘The only thing I’ve felt for weeks is pain, so that is … what you’re doing is …’

‘Good?’

‘Yeah.’ A small shudder rippled up his body. ‘Good is one way to describe it.’

Now I was convinced. If there had been any pretence that I wasn’t wanking him off it went out of the window. I ditched the towel and gripped his cock. He was a well-hung guy and hefty in my fist, and I began a firm push-pull motion, the last of the moisture from the flannel sliding my grip.

‘Ah, yeah,’ he said, breathlessly. ‘That time when I came on Phedra. It was so wrong but so damn good. A bit like this. Thank you, Sharon.’

‘Shh, no talking.’ I glanced at the door.

He closed his eyes, pursed his lips. His strong hips jolted, as though thrusting for more of my touch. The headboard rattled against the wall.

I got into my task. His cock bloated further, the slit strained open. His pulse was hard against my palm. I shot a look at the door again, praying no one would come in.

‘Ah, ah,’ he panted. ‘Fuck, yeah. That’s it.’

Jesus, I’d be super impressed if he came this quickly but it would certainly be a good thing, given the illicit, high-risk nature of my actions.

I upped the pace, squeezed a little tighter. My heart was thumping so hard I could hear the pulse in my ears. Then with a throaty groan he came. Cum spurted from his slit onto the clean U2 T-shirt. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said he could produce cupfuls. On and on it burst from him. I kept working, eking out every last drip like it was some kind of tap I was draining.

The deep moans erupting from him vibrated throughout his body. His back arched, his head pressed into the pillow. His body was alive and strong and racked with toe-curling pleasure. Seeing him like that was glorious even though it was completely wrong in a hospital bed. I couldn’t help the flush of satisfaction that burst in my chest.

‘Ah, yeah, oh, fuck …’ he said, a deep, appreciative groan gurgling up from his chest and his spine softening against the pillows. ‘That was amazing.’

‘What the – what the devil is going on in here?’ Another voice penetrated the room, spearing into our moment and popping the erotic bubble.

Shit! My heart stuttered. I spun to the door, still gripping Ted’s throbbing cock.

Iceberg was staring at me, eyes wide as she absorbed the sackable scene she’d stumbled in on. Her lips pursed and she shut the door with a quiet click.

My stomach somersaulted then cartwheeled then did a couple of double twists just for the fun of it. Bugger!

‘Oh, bloody hell,’ Ted gasped. ‘I know … I should feel terrible but that was the best I’ve felt in weeks.’

‘Of course you shouldn’t feel terrible,’ I said in a much calmer voice than I felt. Damn. I was in so much trouble.

‘But, won’t you … get into … trouble?’ He was panting like he’d run up several flights of stairs.

I released him and rested my hand on his arm. ‘No, she’s cool. We’re best friends and we both know there’s no harm in bending the rules occasionally.’

‘Really?’ He glanced down at the sticky mess he’d made.

‘Yeah, really.’ I grinned. ‘I hope you have another clean T-shirt.’

He nodded and I reached into the locker. Pulled out a red Nike top.

‘Sharon,’ he said, holding up his bandaged hands. ‘A beer and a wank for a helpless man, you’re the best nurse in the world … don’t you ever forget that, no matter what.’

‘I don’t even need to ask you to explain, Staff Nurse Roane.’ Iceberg’s lips pursed so tight they reminded me of a cat’s bottom. I had no idea how she was actually managing to speak with her mouth like that. ‘A picture,’ she went on, ‘paints a thousand words.’ She folded her arms over her ample chest and glared at me. Cold, hard, mean eyes that didn’t blink.

I squirmed on the plastic seat in her grim second-floor office and stared over her right shoulder at a grey filing cabinet topped with a dying potted plant. Poor thing, it could do with some water and some sunshine, it looked tropical. But it wouldn’t last long in here, not with the arctic vibes that were being flung about.

‘Surely you must realise the position you’ve put me in,’ she said. ‘Sexual liaison’s with patients is completely forbidden. It’s not just unprofessional it’s a dismissible offence. Your job is in the balance here, you know. This could be the last time you set foot in this hospital, ever.’