Confessions: The Paris Mysteries (21 page)

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Authors: James Patterson

Tags: #Mystery, #Young Adult, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Juvenile Fiction / Mysteries & Detective Stories, #Juvenile Fiction / Family / Siblings, #Juvenile Fiction / Social Issues / Self-Esteem & Self-Reliance, #Juvenile Fiction / Love & Romance

BOOK: Confessions: The Paris Mysteries
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There’s more I have to tell you,
of course. So much more. Let me start with this: I’ve checked into an institution in Upper Manhattan. Waterside is something like Fern Haven, but the doctors here are trying to help me, not experiment on me, and going for treatment was
my
idea.

Still, Waterside is kind of a madhouse. There is no cone of silence here. I hear screams of people enduring detox, doctors being paged at all hours, sirens, and all the noise that is the backdrop of the city that never sleeps.

At Jacob’s insistence, Private has stationed a twenty-four-hour rotation of armed guards, and someone is always right outside my room.

Sometimes I feel safe.

But the gory death tableau in the Escalade haunts me night and day. At first, it was hard to identify the crushed bodies, but finally, I recognized the driver. He was one of Royal Rampling’s goons, who had boiled out of that SUV on the Place du Carrousel in an attempt to separate James and me.

The dead man in the passenger seat was Royal Rampling, none other. He had personally fired on the Town Car, had personally tried to shoot me. And now he was gone for good.

But Peter Angel is still alive, and he could be anywhere. He is still a threat to me and everyone I love. Sometimes, when I sleep, it feels as if he’s a gargoyle perched on my headboard, leering as I dream.

As for my treatment, I’ve been diagnosed with “extreme exhaustion,” or as the admitting physician said to me, “You’ve undergone more stress in the last few months than most people experience in a lifetime. You need a break, Tandy.”

But I wasn’t going to get it yet.

Day one, while I was still shaking from stress, I got a note in the form of a greeting card: flowers on the outside, some words printed on the inside,
Thinking of you.

Then there was a message. I could hardly keep my eyes on the tangle of words in a handwriting I recognized.

Dear Tandy,

I feel horrible. I know I was wrong to hook up with James and I was weak and there is no excuse and I don’t even know
how to convincingly say “I’m sorry.” But I really, truly am. I was lonely. I missed Harry. I missed you. And then James was right here.

You know how he is, Tandy.

I really had no power to refuse him.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just a poor explanation. But maybe this will make you feel better. Right after you left the residence hall, James told me to go.

He dumped me, Tandy. On my ass. And you know why?

Because he’s still in love with you.

Reading C.P.’s words hurt in so many ways, I couldn’t begin to list them.

I skimmed the rest of C.P.’s note in one painful flash. She wrote that she wanted to visit me and that she would make everything up to me and that she would work hard to prove to me that we could be friends again.

By the time I got to the
X
s and
O
s, I was ripping mad, crazy mad, feeling a rage like I’d never felt before. Maybe it was not just anger at C.P. and at James, but unexpressed fury at my parents and my uncle Peter all rolled up into this one rotten thing.

I’d been savagely betrayed by so many people I had loved.

I was even furious at
myself
for ever loving any of them.

I crumpled C.P.’s disgusting card; then I straightened it out so
that I could shred it into tiny pieces. When all that was left of C.P.’s spidery apology was a pile of confetti, I scooped it into my fist and then flushed every word down the toilet.

I felt relieved.

But I was still a mess.

My therapist at Waterside is Dr.
Mary Robosson.

I actually like her quite a bit. We’re dealing with some heavy stuff, mostly trying to peel back the thousands of rubbery layers of lies I’ve been told to find the truth about my life.

We’re also talking about love and what it means. This is going to be a long course, and I’m not looking for shortcuts. I have a lot to learn about love, when it’s real and when it’s not. Dr. Robosson assures me I will love again.

“Really?”

“Definitely. You’re just sixteen. First love isn’t last love or only love or even the best love. The pain you feel is appropriate. You’ve been hurt, and not because of something
you did or didn’t do, Tandy. You’re very real. And you’re wonderful.”

I won’t lie. I have thought about both C.P. and James a lot, even after I thought I’d wiped them out of my mind. I confess that I’ve written them each a few letters under the heading of “people who are dead to me,” but I’ve deleted all the letters without sending.

That’s a pretty effective kind of therapy. James and C.P. matter less and less to me as the pain drains away.

I spend more time remembering the Cordeaux family in France: how their lives were savaged by Peter. I think about Monsieur Laurier at the Parfumerie Bellaire and his long-lasting love for Gram Hilda. I’m very grateful for her incredible generosity, and I think about her lovely house, which was our home when we didn’t have any other.

It’s gone, and yet I remember every room and every view, the whole length and breadth and depth of it. In a way, the Gram Hilda museum is now within me.

I still meditate about the things
I’ve
done wrong, as Father Jean-Jacques had prescribed. It helps me feel acceptance about the people who have hurt me, because we all have reasons for the things we do, whether justified or not. And one of those reasons might actually be
love
.

Case in point: Malcolm and Maud left me damaged, I know, but they loved me. And so I can forgive them.

Jacob, Harry, and Hugo visit almost every day. Even Matty comes to visit as often as he can. Hugo wears a T-shirt that reads
WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER.

He strikes poses, like he’s a bodybuilder, and that makes me laugh. Every time.

It’s indisputable that my family and I have been tried, tested, even baptized by fire, and we share the strongest possible bonds siblings could have. And that includes my sister, Katherine… the Angel who rose from the dead.

Yesterday, I got an e-mail from
an address I didn’t recognize. I was about to delete it, but for some reason—boredom, curiosity, gut instinct—I clicked it open.

The subject line read, “Someone I want you to meet.”

The body of the e-mail contained only a link to a video—but not so fast.
Who
, exactly, wanted me to meet
whom
? Was this hate mail from Peter? Had Mr. Rampling sent another threat in the form of a virus, this time from the grave? Was C.P. trying to reach me again?

For better or for worse, I was curious. And so, with great trepidation, I clicked on the link.

The video opened on a close-up of a darling baby in a carrier. He was wearing blue, and between giggles, he beat the air with
his little hands and cooed. At the halfway mark of the twenty-second clip, another face came on the screen.

It was Katherine.

She said, “Tandoo, meet your nephew, George. He’s the sweetest little boy in the world and also very, very special. I’m going to tell him all about you.”

The baby was gorgeous, and he had Katherine’s eyes.
My
eyes.

Katherine looked at me through my computer screen and breathed, “I love you.” She grinned and kissed the baby’s hand. They both waved—and the screen went black.

Tears shot out of my eyes.

I played the video over and over again, each time feeling elated, connected, renewed, and yes,
curious
.

Kath had said that George was very special. In what way? I was aching to see him, to hold him, and to know more. And I haven’t told this to anyone before now.

I swear I
will
see Katherine again if it’s the last thing I ever do. That’s part of my plan for the future.

And when I have more to tell, I promise I’ll confess all.

Your sadder, smarter, and cautiously hopeful friend,

Tandoori Angel

 

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JAMES PATTERSON
is the internationally bestselling author of the popular Confessions, Maximum Ride, and Witch & Wizard novels, as well as
Homeroom Diaries
and the highly praised Middle School, I Funny, Daniel X, Treasure Hunters, and Alex Cross series. His books have sold more than 300 million copies worldwide, making him one of the bestselling authors of all time. He lives in Florida.

MAXINE PAETRO
has also collaborated with James Patterson on the bestselling Women’s Murder Club and Private series. She lives with her husband in New York State.

BOOKS BY JAMES PATTERSON
FOR YOUNG ADULT READERS
The Confessions Novels

Confessions of a Murder Suspect
(with Maxine Paetro)

Confessions: The Private School Murders
(with Maxine Paetro)

Confessions: The Paris Mysteries
(with Maxine Paetro)

The Witch & Wizard Novels

Witch & Wizard
(with Gabrielle Charbonnet)

The Gift
(with Ned Rust)

The Fire
(with Jill Dembowski)

The Kiss
(with Jill Dembowski)

The Maximum Ride Novels

The Angel Experiment

School’s Out—Forever

Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

The Final Warning

MAX

FANG

ANGEL

Nevermore

Nonfiction

Med Head
(with Hal Friedman)

Illustrated Novels

Homeroom Diaries
(with Lisa Papademetriou, illustrated by Keino)

Maximum Ride: The Manga, Vols. 1–7
(with NaRae Lee)

Witch & Wizard: The Manga, Vols. 1–3
(with Svetlana Chmakova)

For previews of upcoming books in these series and other information, visit
confessionsofamurdersuspect.com, maximumride.com, and witchandwizard.com.

For more information about the author, visit JamesPatterson.com.

THE WITCH AND WIZARD ARE BACK.
AND THEY’LL NEVER SEE
THE END COMING.
TURN THE PAGE FOR AN EXCITING SNEAK PEEK AT

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