Confucius Jane (16 page)

Thankfully, the sound of the front door chime obviated the need to find a new conversation topic. “That will be Neal and Agatha,” she said.

“I'll show them up here.” Sutton was glad of the distraction. “And see whether Dad needs any help.”

“Good, thank you.” She smiled indulgently.

As Sutton returned to the first floor, she heard her father's jovial laugh mingling with Neal's deeper baritone. Breathing in deeply, she closed her eyes and tried to prepare herself for what was to come. The trick to making it through these evenings, she had learned, was to stay minimally engaged in the conversation while allowing the rest of her mind to wander. And she knew exactly what topic it would drift to tonight.

Her lips tingled as she once again remembered the sensation of Jane's smooth, cool skin beneath them. Jane's cheek had been so soft. Would her mouth be even softer? If they shared a real kiss, who would lead and who would follow? Or would they fit together so well that those questions would be moot? Sutton's skin prickled at the thought, even as logic reminded her of the folly of pursuing anything other than the most casual relationship. But she and Jane hadn't crossed a line yet. She'd been honest about the chaos that was her future. As long as Jane accepted the facts, why shouldn't they make the most of what time she had left before life once again became frenetic?

While she had to live in this limbo, why shouldn't she try to enjoy it?

 

C
HAPTER
E
IGHT

J
ANE COULDN'T STOP SMILING,
and people were starting to notice. Minetta had been nagging her incessantly since the previous night. Aunt Jenny had commented on her good mood during the morning meal. One of Jane's customers had wondered what she'd eaten for breakfast and whether there were any leftovers, while another had incredulously asked how she could be in such high spirits on a Monday.

She didn't care that people could tell she was happy, but she wasn't about to share any details. They were hers to cherish and replay, over and over, in the theater of her mind: the warmth of Sutton's fingers, the softness of her lips, the genuine compassion in her eyes.

And then there was the text Sutton had sent her last night:
Thanks again for brunch, and for letting me see you work. The rest of my day was dull by comparison.

Of course, Sutton would be the sort of person who texted in full sentences. Jane had agonized for almost half an hour over her reply. “Thanks for taking a chance on me” sounded pathetic. “Glad you enjoyed it” sounded stilted. “Let's do it again sometime” was nothing but a hackneyed line.

Finally, after giving herself a headache, she decided that simple was best:
I had a great time, thanks to you. Good night.
☺

She hadn't received a reply, but neither had she expected one. At least they were finally on texting terms. That had been a long time coming. Sutton clearly wasn't someone who rushed into a relationship. She needed time and space, and even though Jane didn't particularly want to give her either of those things, she knew she had to suck it up and find some patience. But it wasn't easy, especially in light of the ticking clock in the background. Sutton had been entirely up front about all the uncertainties in her life. Whatever their relationship was becoming, she clearly wanted it to remain casual.

“So don't get too attached,” Jane told her reflection sternly, and returned her attention back to the open notebook in front of her.

As the weak winter sunlight slowly began to dim, she alternated between frenetic bursts of productivity and staring out the window, daydreaming. Each time she relived the sensation of Sutton's lips against her cheek, another burst of ideas took her brain by storm.

In matters of the heart, never lose hope.

Joy will catch you unawares.

When your heart is at stake, persist gently.

One kiss will transform your life.

Raising her head, she rolled her neck to ease the tension in her shoulders. That last one might be a bit hyperbolic, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. It hadn't even been a “real” kiss, but she could feel its echo in every cell of her body. Neither of her college girlfriends had ever affected her this strongly, even in more intimate moments. How was that possible?

At the buzz of her phone, all Jane's tension returned. Holding her breath, she looked over at the display. Text from Sutton St. James. The world narrowed until the screen was all she could see.

Are you free? I'll be in Noodle Treasure for the next few hours.

Sutton was across the street. Sutton wanted to see her. As the realization set in, Jane leapt to her feet, only to be swamped by a wave of lightheadedness that forced her to sit back down. Taking a deep breath, she massaged her temples. These adrenaline rushes were going to kill her.

“Casual,” she reminded herself. “You have to stay casual.” Clutching her phone, she typed out a quick response:
I could use a break. See you soon.

This time, she made her way downstairs at a more dignified pace. Combing her fingers through her hair, she double-checked the collar on her rugby shirt and tested her breath against the back of her hand before venturing outside. Mei greeted her in Chinese as she entered the restaurant and gave her an indulgent look when she turned toward Sutton. Jane had a split second in which to feel bemusement at Mei's clear approval of her crush before she was once again face-to-face with the woman who had been haunting her waking dreams for the past twenty-four hours. Sutton's hair was down today, and she was dressed in earth tones—olive slacks and a dark brown cardigan over a cream-colored scoop-neck top. Jane wanted nothing more than to lean down and trail kisses along the sculpted curve of her collarbone.

“You look beautiful.” Only when she heard the words did she realize she'd spoken aloud. Cursing her own idiocy, she hunched her shoulders. “I mean … hi.”

“Hi.” The corners of Sutton's mouth twitched. Even her monosyllable held a note of laughter. “And thank you.”

“How are you?” Jane asked as she took the seat next to her.

“Fine. Enjoying a late lunch.” She gestured to a half-eaten plate of fried noodles with shrimp and mushrooms.

Next to her mug, Jane noticed the shards of a broken fortune cookie. “Is your future looking bright?”

When Sutton reached into her pocket and withdrew the small piece of paper, Jane felt her heart flip-flop. Sutton was saving her fortunes? That was another good sign, right?

“‘Don't let a chance at love slip away.'” She arched one eyebrow. “I've been getting a lot of mushy fortunes, recently. Whoever writes these is a real romantic.”

Jane nodded gravely. “That does seem suspicious. Would you like to lodge a formal complaint with the president of the company, also known as my uncle? I can introduce you to him right now.”

“Oh, I don't think that will be necessary.” She nudged Jane's shoulder with her own. “I wasn't criticizing—only observing.”

“He'll be relieved to hear that.” Jane grinned, enjoying their easy flirtation and the warmth where their bodies touched. “So, how did everything go last night?”

Sutton stiffened, breaking their contact, and Jane immediately regretted the question. But before she could issue some sort of aimless apology, Sutton spoke.

“My father had some news for me. He was told by the Chief of Surgery at Columbia University Medical Center that I've matched there. For neurosurgery.”

Jane rested her arm on the counter and searched Sutton's face for signs of her reaction. Columbia was a very prestigious match indeed, and if Sutton accepted it, she would be able to remain in the city with her family.
And me.
But if the frown lines around her mouth and eyes, were any indication, this news had only served to make her more anxious. Not less.

“Congratulations.” Jane made her voice soft and hopefully soothing. “How do you feel about it?”

“On the one hand, I'm relieved. It's a strong match. And I'd be near my parents, so if my mother gets worse…” she trailed off. “On the other hand, the fact that the chief is one of my father's best friends will make the match doubly difficult to turn down if I decide to take a different route. He was the guest invited to dinner last night, and I couldn't stop thinking about how ashamed my father would be if I go elsewhere.”

Jane dared to cover Sutton's left hand with her own. She wanted to tell Sutton that it didn't matter what all these overbearing patriarchal figures in her life wanted her to do. All that mattered was what would make her happy. But she knew that would be a mistake. Sutton didn't need anyone else to give her advice. She needed someone who would actually listen.

“Do you think you'd be happy at Columbia?”

“In certain ways, probably. I'd receive excellent training and opportunities. It's the kind of competitive environment I've always thrived in.”

Jane wondered if Sutton could hear herself. She hadn't said a thing that had to do with real happiness. “Okay, those are some of the pros. What are the cons?”

Sutton idly poked at her noodles with her fork as she considered the question. “For one thing, I don't know if I'm passionate enough about becoming a surgeon. There are times when it's thrilling, and I know I'd be good at it, but I don't think I'm in love with surgery the way my father is.”

“Okay.” Jane reminded herself to stay neutral. “Anything else?”

“I might be able to do some research there, but it certainly wouldn't be my focus. And I think I'd miss it.”

“So, there are good arguments on either side. Definitely not an easy decision.” She squeezed Sutton's hand. “When the time comes, maybe it will be best to trust your instincts.”

The door opened, and a tendril of chill air swirled across the back of Jane's neck. “Aww,” said a familiar voice. “Isn't that precious.”

Sutton looked over Jane's shoulder. “Hi, Min.”

“Hi. Don't let me interrupt you.”

“Too late,” Jane said through gritted teeth.

Min raised her hands in the air. “Sorry. The words just flew out.”

“Don't you have homework to do?” Jane fixed Min with her best intimidating glare.

“Whatever.”

Jane let out a deep breath as Min turned away. “Too smart for her own good, that one.”

“She's formidable.”

“That she is. Anyway. Where were we?”

“You were just advising me to trust my instincts.”

Jane quickly shook her head. “I'm not in the business of advice. You'll have to get your chart done by Sue if that's what you're looking for.”

“Oh!” In a flash, Min was back, one hand braced against each of their chairs. “Let's all go see her right now.”

Jane closed her eyes briefly, trying to keep her cool. Min really was the worst matchmaker ever. How was she going to manage a serious talk with Sutton if her so-called wingman always kept cutting in?

“Minetta, you are really not helping. Homework?”

“This is homework. My school project, remember? I need to visit Sue's shop anyway.”

“Which you can do on your own ti—”

Sutton laid her hand on Jane's wrist, the warmth of her touch permeating through the fabric. “It's okay. Let's all go together.”

Jane searched her eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

As Sutton stood, Jane heard someone clear his throat just behind them. “Excuse me,” came a masculine voice. “Did I hear you discussing Sue's shop?” Jane turned to find Giancarlo towering over Min. Dressed in black slacks and a snowy white chef's shirt, he looked the part of a restaurant owner in Little Italy. His thin mustache even had a slight twirl at the edges today.

“Hello, Giancarlo.” When Sutton leaned in for one of those European double cheek-kisses, Jane felt a twinge of jealousy. Suddenly, Sutton was exchanging cheek-kisses with everyone. Had she read too much into their moment yesterday? “Did I miss seeing you come in?”

“You looked deep in thought. I didn't want to disturb you.”

Sutton waved away his concern. “Please don't worry. How are you?”

“I'm well, thank you. And I apologize for interrupting your conversation, but I was trying to find Sue's shop a few days ago and couldn't. Would you mind giving me directions?”

Jane had just reached for her notebook with the intent to produce a map, when Min spoke up. “You should just come with us. We're going now.”

Jane gripped the edge of the countertop tightly, suppressing the sudden urge to bang her head against it. All she wanted was to be alone with Sutton again—or as alone as they could be in a city of nine million people. Min tagging along was one thing, but playing tour guide with Giancarlo wouldn't exactly be conducive to romance.

Sutton, she felt sure, had no such uncharitable thoughts. While talking with Giancarlo, she gave him her full attention, just as she did for everyone else. Sutton's gaze was a spotlight and her smile was its warmth. Jane was willing to bet that she brought that kind of charisma to her bedside manner, too. How often were brilliant people also so empathetic? No wonder Columbia was falling all over itself to get her.

“Oh no, that's fine—I wouldn't want to interfere,” Giancarlo was saying to Min.

“You won't.” Jane put on a smile for Sutton's sake. “Please walk with us, if you'd like.”

“Thank you.” He stood and put on his coat, then reached for the fortune cookie on his plate. “I almost forgot this.”

Jane turned toward the door, feeling the familiar rush of self-consciousness at the sounds of Giancarlo unwrapping the cookie. Mentally, she crossed her fingers that this would be one of her better offerings.