Connection (Le Garde) (11 page)

I took a deep breath before continuing, “Well, last year, he asked me to homecoming. I said no, and I went with Jordan instead. Jordan and I went out for a couple months, and.
 
.
 
.he wanted to, you know, have sex. I didn’t, though, but he started telling everyone we did it. So, I broke up with him, but him and this girl named Carmen spread all these rumors about me. It was like in the comics when a snowball rolls down a hill and it just gets bigger and bigger.
 
.
 
.Jordan spray painted my mom’s car, and it said ‘Slut.’ Carmen gave me a box of condoms that I opened on my desk and spilled everywhere, even in front of Mr. Macklin. People stuffed my locker with brochures to the STD clinic. Someone posted my number on Craigslist with a sex ad. I had to get a new one. My Facebook was hacked into, they attacked my blog.
 
.
 
.it was bad.”

Frowning with her arms crossed, Sam shook her head over and over, so much that I would have gotten sick if I did it. “I can’t believe that.”

“
And Aaron.
 
.
 
.Aaron didn’t do anything. You know, he didn’t stick up for me, he said I was being paranoid when I said Jordan was bullying me.” Tears suddenly stung my eyes and I stared down at the sink. “I don’t know, he believed a lot of what Jordan said and it seems like a part of him even felt like I deserved it.” Now, I was pretty sure he didn’t anymore—believe Jordan or feel like I deserved it—but I wasn’t sure what had changed his mind. I cleared my throat, swallowing back tears. “There wasn’t, like, some big blowout or anything. He just stopped talking to me because he was afraid of Jordan and he was kind of hurt I turned him down. And I stopped talking to him because he wasn’t acting like my friend anymore.”

Sam was quiet for a moment as I checked my shirt in the mirror. “People can be pretty shitty. I mean.
 
.
 
.honestly.
 
.
 
.I heard the rumors, but I didn’t know about all that other stuff.”

I stared at her. “What did you hear?”

She shrugged. “It was nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“
No, what did they say?”

Sam put a hand on her hip. “Someone just said that you slept around a little bit. I told ‘em I didn’t care.”

I smiled. “Thanks.
 
.
 
.but I didn’t.”

“
No, but even if you did, what should it matter? People shouldn’t be concerned about your sex life.” She shrugged and kissed me on the cheek.

After a minute or so, I had to ask. “Did they say anything else about me?”

“
Yeah, but like I said, I didn’t care. I mean, I kind of care now that you told me the background—”

“
Well, why didn’t you tell me?”

Sam tilted her head. “What would the good in that be? I told them to leave you alone a few times, and they stopped talking about you around me. I don’t need that drama.”

I chuckled. I’d never heard Sam gossip about something other than the mole of Mr. Macklin’s nose. She was not the stereotypical blonde cheerleader. Sure, she liked to party; she was actually the first person I drank alcohol with. Aside from that, she didn’t fit the qualifications. Aaron had been her first boyfriend, and she hung out with me, the school’s supposed slut, and Kaylie, who was invisible to most of our class. We were an interesting trio.

“
You’re probably right,” I said. “It just would have pissed me off more.”

There was a knock on the door. “Are you guys naked?” Kaylie called before pushing the door open.

“
We didn’t even answer!” Sam exclaimed.

Kaylie shut the door and lowered her voice. “Steven’s cousin’s here, and he looks just like Jensen Ackles.”

I rolled my eyes as Sam and Kaylie gushed about Steven’s cousin and their favorite TV show. Back in the guest room, we completed our outfits. We exchanged the customary compliments: Sam and Kaylie wished they had my butt, I wanted Sam’s legs, and Sam wanted Kaylie’s skin. I thought we were good together: the fair cheerleader, the dark bookworm (or hussy, depending on who you asked), and the girl next door.

“
Wait, Anna, are you guys friends again?” Sam asked.

“
Who?” I waited by the door, ready, but Sam couldn’t decide on a purse. She’d brought three just for the weekend.

“
You and Aaron,” She hung a blue faux leather purse around her shoulder and examined herself in the mirror.

“
Oh.
 
.
 
.I think we might be,” I said. I’d still take an apology—a real one—but I found I couldn’t really be upset with him. It still hurt, yeah, but for some reason, I wanted him in my life. Even though it would probably never be like before. I wanted to hear him say it out loud, though, that he was sorry. I didn’t think he realized how much I
needed
to hear it. “Are you guys ready?”

“
Yep!” Kaylie said, jumping to her feet.

“
So, you don’t mind if I text him and invite him to the party?” Sam asked me.

I already had. I smiled at her. “No, I don’t mind.”

Downstairs, Steven and his cousin waited by the fireplace. His cousin Matt did look at lot like Kaylie’s favorite actor. We piled into his car, and Sam called shotgun, giving her control over the radio. I sat in the middle of Steven and Kaylie as Sam blasted music out of Matt’s sound system.

I didn’t party much back at home, partially because of my mom, and also because it wasn’t that fun for me to do often. Every few months, I could have fun dancing to loud music in a stranger’s house with a couple sips of beer. Sam tried to talk Kaylie and I into going every weekend, even though she knew her other friends wouldn’t like our arrival very much. Even though she knew we’d have more fun sitting at home watching movies and making all kinds of weird foods. Once, we made cookies made out of every sweet thing in my pantry. They were amazing, and we dubbed them Kaynies (pronounced like
candies
without the
d
). Kaylie threw up after eating too many.

Matt pulled up to a tall condo building to drop us off and park. “Holy crap, this place is huge!” Kaylie said, craning her head back to gaze up at the towering building.

We waited for Matt in the lobby, looking at the fish tank and the tropical fish. Kaylie and I were doing Finding Nemo impressions when Matt came back in, and we couldn’t stop giggling on the elevator. It actually had a keypad for a special code—if you didn’t have one, you couldn’t use the elevator.

“
This place is high rollin,” Sam said, laughing.

Matt shrugged as though he had tons of friends who lived in nice condos with special elevators.

I glanced at Steven, my eyebrows raised.

“
He’s trying to impress you guys,” Steven said with a grin.

Matt shot him a look. “Oh, shut up.”

“
Well, it’s working!” Sam exclaimed. Matt smiled and made a face at Steven when Sam wasn’t looking. I giggled into my hand.

When the elevator doors opened, we could hear music bumping from down the hall. Matt led us to one of the doors and let himself in; music and smoke poured out from the condo. We walked through an entryway where people had piled their coats in the corner. I left my coat since it was hot and stuffy in the apartment. If someone stole it, it’d only cost twenty bucks. If my mother knew I treated a twenty dollar coat so cavalierly, it would have upset her more than the pungent smell of weed in the air.

The condo was as big as my house and crowded with people. The walls were hardwood, the windows stretched to fill nearly the whole wall, and the furniture looked like the kind I could easily curl up and fall asleep on. We moved through the mass of people toward the bar in the kitchen. Every appliance looked too new to touch. The bartender asked what we wanted, and Kaylie and I exchanged embarrassed looks. We were definitely not alcohol connoisseurs. In the end, Steven got me some kind of fruity pineapple drink.

Matt led us to the porch next. The view of San Francisco at night was beautiful: lights stretched out until the bay, where we could see Bay Bridge. I couldn’t imagine what it looked like in the daytime. It was a small porch, though, and others eventually moved in and subtly (or not so subtly) pushed us out of the way.

Inside the condo, half the people were dancing, the other half were milling around on the sides, drinking or trying to carry on conversations. Looking around at the faces in the dim lighting, I realized my friends and I were probably the youngest people here. No one seemed to mind, though, or even notice us. Matt introduced us to a few people, a few of them seniors from his school, most of them college-aged. The only one I remembered was a girl named Kristina because she had one blue eye and one brown eye.

Steven asked me if I wanted to dance, and I told him if he got me another drink. He took my empty glass and kissed me before disappearing into the crowd. Sam was asking Matt how he knew the people who lived here, and Kaylie asked him if he’d ever heard of Jensen Ackles.

When Steven got back, we danced casually. It took a while for me to get used to it because I always felt weird dancing in front of people, but soon it felt like a school dance. Everyone around us kind of faded away for a while. We danced, his hands around me, my arms on his shoulders, the two of us moving to the beat, swaying, hardly anything between us. I drank more of those drinks, and I started to get this pleasant buzz, this dizziness that wasn’t nauseating.

After a while, I’m not sure how long, I felt Aaron approach, and I craned my head around to look for him. Being short didn’t help, but I felt him getting closer. He was probably in the condo now, weaving his way through people.  In a moment, he appeared through the faces. I grinned, waving at him and calling him over. Steven’s hands found my hips, and he didn’t move as Aaron walked over to us.

Sam was over in an instant, even though I hadn’t seen her since two drinks ago. “Hey, Aaron, you made it!” she yelled. She hugged him, and I giggled at his surprised expression as he patted her back. “Isn’t this place awesome? Did you come alone?” She pulled away.

“
Um, Tara and her boyfriend are here,” Aaron said, sliding a hand into his back pocket and motioning with his other one.

“
Oh, I have to see her!” Sam squealed.

I giggled again, putting my hands over my mouth.

He shrugged. “Well, she’s around here somewhere.”

“
Aaron, you should try this drink, it’s really good!” I said. I glanced over my shoulder at Steven. “What’s it called?”

“
It’s a piña colada,” Steven said. His face was a little blurry.

“
Come on, I’ll get you one,” I told Aaron. I grabbed his wrist. That invigorating feeling ran through me, and the lights flared. Laughing, I quickly dropped his hand. I nearly dropped my glass, which made me laugh even harder.

“
Holy shit, how many of those has she had?” Sam asked Steven, her eyes wide.

“
Three,” Steven said, staring up at the lights.

I pushed Sam in the shoulder. “I’m fine. I just feel really good, you know?” I grinned at Aaron. “Where’s Tara?”

I took Steven’s hand, entwining my fingers through his, and we followed Aaron through the people to Tara, who stood by the bar with her boyfriend, Tom. Tara and Tom. Aaron and Anna. Steven and Sam. Wait.
 
.
 
.

“
Tara!” I threw my arms around her.

Tara laughed, hugging me back. “Hey, Anna!” 

I pulled away and gave my empty glass to the bartender. “I’ll have another piña colada, please,” I said. He studied me for a moment, and I started to think he might say something about my age, so I turned to Tara. “How have you been?”

“
I’ve been good,” Tara said. “You remember Tom, right?”

“
Yeah, of course.” I nodded to Tom. “You work at the museum.” I grabbed Steven’s arm. “This is my boyfriend, Steven. He’s a senior at Northern.”

Tara introduced herself and Tom, and Sam gave Tara a hug. I thought Sam was acting kind of desperate, but maybe I was being too harsh. It wasn’t her fault she was obsessed with Aaron. Or maybe it was.

“
Here you go, miss,” the bartender said. I wondered if he was a real bartender. Couldn’t he get in a lot of trouble for serving alcohol to minors? I gave him what I like to think was my most dazzling smile and took the drink. I knew Aaron was looking at me because I could feel him thinking about me again, checking out my butt, my dark purple top that I knew made my boobs look pretty good. I looked directly at him, raising my eyebrows. He blushed a bit and smiled before glancing away.

Steven and Aaron looked different, but they were really a lot alike. Steven worried about his hair a lot; Aaron couldn’t care less. Steven worked out; Aaron would eat pizza everyday if his parents let him. But they both made me laugh. They actually had the same sense of humor, they liked a lot of the same comedy movies. They had similar taste in music, like classic rock and those obscure alternative bands I’d never heard of. I wondered if they knew that.