Connexion : The Atlantis Project, Book.1 (19 page)

Little by little, the light became less
blinding, and its whiteness gradually faded into nuances of color.
At first they were very bright – almost fluorescent – then they
started to turn to more pastel shades. Out of this blend sprang
vague silhouettes here and there, which Charlie could not identify.
Suddenly, two imposing dark masses appeared before him. Apparently
they were the massive silhouettes of two individuals. They were
standing still, side by side, a few dozen meters from him. Gripped
by fear, Charlie tried to find somewhere to hide the mouse, which
he was still holding in his right hand. In doing so, he realized
that would be impossible as long as he had not found himself any
clothes. He stopped and turned around to think.

“Perhaps I just need to concentrate to make
some clothes appear. After all, I’ve managed to keep this animal
with me, long after cutting off the communication with
Jacques.”

He set about imagining himself in a gray
suit, the same kind worn by most of the workers he had seen in the
big room where the huge vessel was. As he did so, his shiny, gray
skin was gradually covered by finely woven, matte gray material. It
was so light and flexible that it fitted the shape of his body
perfectly, giving Charlie the impression that he was wearing the
simplest outfit. It was as though his whole body had just been
placed in some sort of thermostatically controlled bubble. He could
not say whether he was warmer or cooler than before. He felt
wonderful. Perhaps his sense of well-being was rather unreasonable,
in that it distanced him a little more from his earthly body.
Thankfully, the parts of his skin that were still exposed provided
his senses with some exterior stimulation. Whether it was simply
the product of his imagination or some clever blend of imaginary
and real physical sensations, was not crucially important to
Charlie. He had a visceral need to feel all these sensations, as
miniscule or distorted as they may be.

Without thinking, Charlie put his hand in the
pocket of his pants and carefully slipped the still-sleeping mouse
into it. He was afraid he might squash it inadvertently, but at the
same time, he was quite aware that it did not, strictly speaking,
truly exist physically. Therefore, nothing could happen to it, as
long as he was personally convinced that it was still there in his
own mind. It was an idea, a mental construct which linked him to
Jacques. Whatever happened, he must not let Victor find it. He was
determined to protect it, come what may; like a baby or some pet
animal whose presence alone can be enough to relieve a life of
suffering and frustration.

He looked up in the direction of the two
bulky, dark shapes standing before him and moved toward them with
confident strides. The silhouettes became gradually clearer, and
soon Charlie recognized the two guards barring the entrance to the
gangway a few hours earlier. Strangely, they seemed perfectly clear
to him, while the rest of the surroundings were still bathed in
some sort of vague, luminous haze. He stopped in front of them for
a moment. They remained motionless with their arms crossed and did
not speak. Their colossal size would have discouraged anyone from
attempting to approach, but Charlie, confident from his first
successful attempt, launched himself into the mountain of muscle
again, convinced he would go straight through it without them even
noticing. The violent impact knocked Charlie to the ground. If he
had wanted to be conscious of his body, he certainly felt it now!
He lay on the ground like some vulgar thug who had just been kicked
out of a nightclub.

“Are you okay, Charlie? Nothing broken, I
hope?”

Charlie dared not look up, afraid of meeting
the giants’ gaze, but he soon realized that they had nothing to do
with all this. The little white mouse had come out of his pocket
during the fall. It was standing in front of him, speaking to
him.

I’m going crazy, he thought. This mouse can’t
see me. I severed the communication with my brother. I’m starting
to talk to myself.

But the mouse spoke again. “Are you sure
you’re okay, Charlie?”

This time, he decided to answer, despite
being afraid he was sinking deeper into insanity. Anyway, he knew
it was futile to fight against an idea. He had already experienced
that in the past, and once the idea had been rejected, it always
came back again, until it became a real obsession. Andrea had
taught him, during his many relaxation classes, to let his mind
wander, without trying to fight against intrusive thoughts. It was
all about learning to let go, in order to better observe the
dynamics and content of his thoughts. Then it was possible – at
least in theory – for him to begin true introspective work.
Awareness was an indispensible requirement when attempting to
subsequently modify thought patterns and their content. He glanced
briefly at the two guards, who remained undisturbed and did not
even seem to have noticed his presence. Then finally, he
answered.

“Yes, yes, don’t worry about me. What
happened? It seems as though they didn’t feel anything, but the
collision was violent. What about you? What are you doing here? Who
are you, really?”

“But it’s me, Jacques!”

“Impossible!”

“Why do you say that, Charlie?”

“Because I haven’t been in communication with
my brother for some time now. You’re just a mental construct. You
can’t have a will of your own. As I just said; it’s absolutely
impossible.”

“This is not good, Charlie. I warned you. You
are starting to lose it, if you ask me. It’s starting again, just
like it did when we were put into psychiatric care because of
you.”

At these words, Charlie knew that it could
not be Jacques speaking to him through this animal. He would never
have said such a thing – especially not in the current context,
when he needed his help and moral support more than ever. He
decided to play along and see just where this would lead.

“Yes, you’re probably right, Jacques. I could
be losing my mind right now, but you need to understand what it’s
like for me. I’m completely submerged in some sort of parallel
universe, deprived of everything that’s familiar to me.”

“Don’t worry, Charlie. I will guide you.
Together we’ll find what you’re looking for and then you’ll be free
to go back to your home.”

“You mean
our
home!”

“Yes, of course. We are all looking forward
to seeing you, Charlie. Clementine is starting to miss you. She’s
very worried about your health. Let’s finish this mission. Those
two guards you just collided with – I think you ought to try
talking to them. They might have some information for you –
something that would help us to make some progress.”

“Yes, you’re right. I’ll try, but you get
back in my pocket. They might see you.”

“There’s no risk of that – I am only real to
you, remember!”

The mouse climbed onto his shoulder and
Charlie struggled to his feet. The two hulks were looking at him
with completely expressionless faces. Apparently he was no longer
invisible. Was it because of his clothes? Possibly, but his
intuition held him back from pursuing that line of thought. The
true explanation was quite different, and even if he did not have
the answer yet, he knew that it would be a lot more complex;
probably something to do with Victor, or with the convergence
phenomenon. For now, he could not see any other option, other than
following this strange, unnerving guide. He would make it, so long
as he managed to keep his mental independence. He would have to do
as it said, without ever completely adhering to its doctrine, and
sooner or later he would get the upper hand again. In a slightly
shaky voice, he spoke to the guards.

“Hello, Gentlemen.”

The two guards kept looking at him, but did
not respond. The mouse whispered in Charlie’s ear.

“Tell them you are a worker from platform 109
and you were dropped off here by mistake.”

“Er, I’m a worker from platform 109 and there
must be some mistake. Would you be so kind as to tell me where I
am, please?”

The two guards answered in unison: “Boarding
platform number 9. Show us your card, please!”

“Um, yes, of course.”

The mouse whispered again.

“Look in your pants pocket. It’s in
there.”

He delved into his pocket and pulled out a
small, metallic card with a name on it, followed by a series of
numbers and symbols. He held the card out to them rather
apprehensively. They looked at it briefly then the larger of the
two leaned toward Charlie.

“No sir, it’s no mistake. The Council wishes
to assemble all the workers, whether they work on assembly
platforms or boarding platforms. The meeting will be held in Room
A28 which is right behind you. You may go there immediately. About
a hundred of your colleagues are there already and the rest will
arrive shortly.”

“Thank you, Gentlemen. Excuse me for
bothering you.”

The guards assumed their previous position
without further comment, and Charlie headed toward the place they
had just shown him. He walked down a long corridor, along with many
other workers going in the same direction. After a few minutes’
brisk walking, they came into a vast hall, its walls entirely made
of windows. A crowd of strangers, dressed like him, began to press
around the front of an imposing white stage, where five empty seats
were arranged in a half-circle.

Charlie was intimidated by this crowd of
strangers – especially as he thought he was now visible. He had
never liked crowds and even if he had been successfully treated for
agoraphobia, he still felt quite apprehensive when he found himself
in this type of situation. He positioned himself as near as
possible to the corridor he had just come down. It was an old habit
that he had actually learned to give up during therapy, but which
still lingered.

He knew perfectly well that he should not do
it, because it only served to feed his phobia. As a general rule,
he tried not to give in to this temptation whose origins, according
to Andrea, went back, to the dawn of time. It was a sort of
survival instinct that drove all potential prey to identify all
available escape routes in the face of perceived danger. She had
explained to him that this instinct, while very useful to animals,
could also be useful to Man, but that sometimes it occurred to an
exaggerated extent, in the absence of any real danger. According to
her, that was the reason for the physical manifestations he felt
when he would go outside during that period. His heart rate would
suddenly increase and he would start to hyperventilate, which led
to a feeling of general unease and a loss of his bearings. But all
that was long gone, now. Even if he was ill at ease, at least he
knew that he would not have a reaction as strong as he did in those
days. At worst, he would feel a little uncomfortable, but it would
pass. Anyway, he was near the exit.

As time went on, the crowd grew denser, until
he soon found himself surrounded on every side. Even the corridor
was full, to Charlie’s misfortune, as he was now trapped. His
anxiety had been gradually and inevitably increasing for several
minutes now. He tried to avoid the others’ eyes as much as
possible, but he felt watched. In spite of his thermal clothing he
felt extremely cold and was shivering so much that his teeth
chattered. Even so, drops of sweat started to run down his face,
and his heartbeats resonated throughout his whole body at a
dizzying rate. Then suddenly, it all stopped. His heart found its
slow, regular rhythm again and he felt relieved, almost peaceful.
He looked around him and realized that no one had paid any
attention to his panic attack. He even wondered if they really
could see him, or if he was invisible again. It was a strange
feeling, but not a new one to Charlie. He had already felt the
spectacular effects of a strong dose of tranquilizers when he found
himself overcome by panic. A few seconds ago he had been having an
anxiety attack so intense he thought he would never get over
it.

He could no longer feel the mouse’s little
paws gripping onto his shoulder, either. He turned to look at it,
but it had disappeared. He looked all around him and searched in
all his pockets, to no avail. Its absence should have been a
relief, and yet he felt disoriented and helpless, as if he had just
lost a part of himself.

He cleared his throat conspicuously but no
one paid any attention. Then he stretched out his arm toward his
nearest neighbor. His hand passed straight through him, as if he
were nothing more than a hologram. Everything seemed to be back the
way it had been. He took one step forward then another, and
realizing that he could move through the crowd like a plane flying
through a vast cloud bank, he continued on confidently until he
reached the stage. At that very moment, the cortege of officials
was making its way through the crowd with difficulty, following
their body guards. He immediately recognized two members of the
Council, accompanied by the two guards he had just been talking to.
Among them was the young, impertinent one who had tried his best to
unsettle Senec during his questioning before the Council. Charlie
watched him climb the steps before the audience of workers, his
self assurance verging on arrogance. He had not done anything to
him personally, but Charlie could not help detesting him.

25 SACRIFICE

The small group of speakers consisted of four
men and one woman, or of four masculine and one feminine N.H.I.’s,
to be precise; although the feminine one was rather androgynous.
Only her clothes and the curve of her hips hinted at her
femininity. Other than that, just like the men, the skin on her
head was only slightly hairy and her face was as hard and serious
as theirs. She was the first to speak to the perfectly silent and
attentive crowd.