Conquer the Flames (Langs Down) (5 page)

Thorne was standing outside the tent waiting for him by the time he reached the little campsite.

“Was the bed in the guest room that uncomfortable?” Macklin asked. “We could have tried another house, you know.”

“That’s not why I’m out here and don’t pretend otherwise,” Thorne said, his face contorted with more emotions than Macklin could name. “The firebreaks are done. I’ll leave in the morning.”

“The fires aren’t out. The threat still exists,” Macklin said. “Are you only going to do half your job?”

“Look, Armstrong, I like you and I like what you’ve built here, but I’m a danger to everyone. I proved that this afternoon.”

“Neil said Laura was more scared than anything else, and her parents haven’t come to complain,” Macklin replied. “So unless you’re planning on attacking someone else, I don’t see the problem.”

“Because I never plan it,” Thorne shouted. “It’s not something I can control. Something triggers it and I react like a mindless killer.”

“And then make yourself sick when it’s over.”

“Like that’s going to matter if I hurt someone,” Thorne said scornfully. “I’m a trained killer. I don’t need weapons. Everything I touch is a weapon.”

“Did you tell Neil the truth about your triggers?” Macklin asked. “Because we can work with that if that’s all there are. You’re only going to be here for a few days. The men are intelligent enough to remember not to walk up behind you or to touch you without warning. If those are really the only ones, you’re welcome to stay.”

“The only ones I know about,” Thorne said. “I don’t like loud, unexpected noises, but they startle me more than set off a flashback. It’s the flashbacks that are the worst.”

“Then pack up and come get dinner. You can eat with your back to the wall so no one surprises you, and I’ll tell Mum to keep her hands to herself. She’s of the opinion that no one is too old for a hug, but in your case, that might not be true.”

“If I see it coming and have a way out if it’s not a good time, I don’t mind a hug,” Thorne said. “It’s only when I’m tense or when it’s unexpected. I can’t take feeling trapped.”

“Is that why you’re out here instead of at the house?” Macklin asked.

“No, I didn’t feel trapped there. I didn’t think I’d still be welcome after what I did.”

“Don’t make a habit of it,” Macklin warned, “but you’re still welcome. We need all the hands we can get to protect the station. I don’t want the children to lose their homes.”

It was a gamble, but it seemed to work. Thorne’s face lost the haunted, conflicted look, determination taking its place again in the set of his jaw. “No, we don’t want that. Give me a minute to pack up.”

Macklin waited as Thorne broke camp with an economy of movement that spoke of years of experience. He shouldered his pack, and they hiked back toward the station. “Why didn’t you just tell me to get the hell off your land?”

“I told you. We need your help.”

“I’ve done what I was sent to do,” Thorne said. “The firebreaks are ready. There’s no reason for me to stay until the fire gets here.”

Macklin hesitated a moment. He had told Caine that Thorne wouldn’t appreciate coddling, but Macklin recognized a broken soul when he saw one, just as Caine did. “How much do you know about Lang Downs?”

“Not much,” Thorne said. “I’d never heard of it before the captain sent me here. I’ve been out of the country for twenty years, and I didn’t grow up in this area.”

“I didn’t know if any of the others had said anything,” Macklin said. “Lang Downs is named for Caine’s great-uncle, Michael Lang, who founded the station in his twenties. Michael never married, but the jackaroos who came and stayed were his children in all the ways that mattered. He spent his life taking in down-on-their-luck men with no hope of a future and giving them a home. Kami, Neil, Ian, Kyle, me… we were the latest in a long line of men who got their lives together in these hills. Then Michael died and Caine came. And Caine kept right on in his uncle’s footsteps. Chris, Jesse, Sam, Jeremy, Seth, who you haven’t met because he’s off in trade school because of this place, Kyle’s wife Linda and her daughter…. The only people we’ve ever kicked off the station are a drug user and a man who stole from us. Not everyone stays, of course. Some people stay for a season or two. Some people come to work here and don’t need anything from us, but we’ve never turned away anyone who needs a safe haven, and I don’t plan on starting now.”

“I don’t need anything,” Thorne insisted. “I’m just here to fight fires.”

That was a lie if ever Macklin heard one, but he didn’t argue. It wouldn’t do any good. “Then stay to protect the people who do need it,” Macklin said. “They deserve a place to call home.”

T
HORNE
found a seat in the canteen with his back to the wall at an unoccupied table. He didn’t know how long he’d be allowed to sit alone, but at least he would see anyone coming well before they got to him. He expected Neil to have told the others, and after what he’d done to Laura, he wouldn’t be surprised if no one approached him or if her parents approached him in anger, but it was better to be prepared for any eventuality.

Any eventuality except a small child toddling up to him and pulling on his trouser leg. “Hello, sweetheart.” He looked around frantically for the girl’s parents, but no one seemed to have noticed her absence. “What’s your name?”

“Dani. Why you sitting alone?”

Thorne hadn’t the slightest idea how to answer that. He didn’t want to scare the kid, so he couldn’t exactly explain that he’d attacked Laura earlier and so nobody wanted to sit with him now. “I’m not alone,” he said instead. “You’re here with me.”

That seemed to satisfy the child because she held her arms up to be lifted. He slid his hands under her arms, watching as they dwarfed her sturdy little chest. This was insane. If he squeezed wrong, he could break a rib!

“Eat,” Dani ordered as she settled on the bench next to him and gestured imperiously to his still full plate.

Not knowing what else to do, Thorne took a bite of the curry on his plate and nearly moaned in delight. After years of field rations, both in the army and in the months in the outback fighting grassfires, any home-cooked food was a treat, but Lang Downs had a treasure in their cook. The meat, of unknown origin but Thorne had learned not to ask years ago, was tender. The sauce was spicy without being so hot it burned his mouth, and the rice was fluffy and cooked to perfection.

“You want naan?” Dani asked. “I like naan with curry.”

“You’re just an expert, aren’t you?” Thorne asked. “I like my curry with rice, though, so no naan for me.”

Dani shrugged and then grinned. “More for me!”

“You can have my naan,” Thorne agreed. “Maybe you should ask Kami for it now.”

“I eated already,” Dani said. “You was late to dinner.”

“I was,” Thorne replied. “I had to talk to Mr. Armstrong before I could come eat.”

“Dani, there you are,” Molly said, coming up to the table. “She’s not bothering you, is she?”

“She’s no bother, ma’am,” Thorne assured her. “She’s been keeping me company.”

“He was lonely,” Dani said with great authority. “We is friends now.”

“We are friends,” Molly corrected automatically. “And I’m glad you made a new friend, but you mustn’t bother him when he’s not paying attention, okay, Dani? Always come up to his face, not his back.”

“Why?” Dani asked.

“Because I want to see your pretty smile,” Thorne said. “I don’t like it when people sneak up on me. It scares me.”

“I cry when I get scared,” Dani said. “Do you cry too, mister?”

No, he just attacked people. “Sometimes,” he said instead. “And sometimes I get angry and yell at the person who scared me. And you can call me Thorne.”

“Mr. Thorne,” Molly amended. “Do you mind if I sit down? My feet are killing me.”

Thorne stood up swiftly and came around the table to pull the bench opposite his out so Molly could sit. “I’m sorry. My mum would have my head if she could see me. She taught me better than that.”

“I’m sure your mum is incredibly proud of your service,” Molly said as she took her seat.

“My mother died before I joined the military,” Thorne said shortly. “She never knew.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Molly said. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

Thorne nodded, unable to speak as the grief welled up in him again. He choked back the emotions as he had always done, unwilling to expose his soft underbelly even to the kind woman sitting across from him. Vulnerability was weakness, and weakness got you killed. He’d had that lesson drummed into him from the moment he joined the army. “It’s fine, ma’am. You didn’t know.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt pudgy little arms slide around his waist, but for once the unexpected contact didn’t trigger a flashback. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and gave Dani a gentle squeeze in return.

“Mummy, Mr. Thorne needs a hug.”

“Then give him another one,” Molly said. “I’m too big to hug anyone these days.”

Thorne didn’t think she looked particularly big yet, but his experience with pregnant women was about as vast as his experience with children hugging him, so maybe he wasn’t a good judge. He pulled Dani onto his lap to give her another hug. She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed hard. He buried his face in her brown curls and inhaled the scent of talcum powder and baby shampoo and let himself be soothed.

“Your face is sharp.” Dani released her hold on his neck as she spoke and rubbed her little hands over his cheeks.

“It’ll get softer when it grows out a little more,” Thorne said. “I bet it’s not as sharp as your dad’s face when he hasn’t shaved in the morning. The longer it gets, the softer it gets.”

“Daddy’s face is very sharp in the morning,” Molly agreed. “That’s why Mummy makes him shave every day.”

Dani rubbed her hand over his beard a couple more times before turning and plopping on his lap. “Eat,” she scolded again.

“Darling, you’re going to make that difficult, sitting on his lap. Why don’t you come sit next to me instead?”

Dani shook her head even as Thorne tightened his arms around her instinctively. “She’s fine where she is,” he said. “I don’t mind.”

“If you’re sure,” Molly said with a smile. “She can be a handful.”

“She’s a blessing,” Thorne said as he looked down at her dark head. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this settled, and all it had taken was a hug from a child and her mother’s acceptance.

“That she is. This one, on the other hand”—Molly rubbed her stomach—“is going to be a little hellion. He hasn’t stopped kicking me in weeks.”

Footsteps caught Thorne’s attention, and he looked up to see Neil coming toward them with a smile on his face. Thorne didn’t know him well enough to guess if it was a real one. “Everything okay?”

“We’re fine,” Molly said. “I needed to sit down for a minute, and Thorne has been helping me keep Dani occupied. She ran me off my feet today.”

“Carley told you to send Dani to their house if you couldn’t handle her by yourself,” Neil said.

“Yes, and Carley spent today dealing with a valley full of sheep because all of you were up building firebreaks,” Molly said. “Sarah watched her for a little bit this afternoon after her nap, but I’m still worn out.”

“I’ll take care of her tonight,” Neil promised. “Come on, princess. It’s time to go.”

From her spot on Thorne’s lap, Dani shook her head emphatically. “Wanna stay with Mr. Thorne.”

Thorne took a deep breath as she hugged him tight again before prying her arms from around his neck. “I’ll still be here tomorrow,” he promised. “You can sit with me then, but tonight you need to go with your daddy so you aren’t too tired to play tomorrow.”

Dani pouted prettily enough that Thorne wanted to give in to her demands, but her parents wouldn’t appreciate that, so he rose from his seat and passed her across the table to her father’s waiting arms. “Sleep well, Dani.”

“Night night, Mr. Thorne.”

He watched as Neil carried her out of the canteen, her head already drooping onto his shoulder. “Thank you,” he said to Molly. “Not everyone would trust me with their child.”

“Not everyone would take the time to help a station with bosses like ours,” Molly replied with a shrug. “Jeremy’s spent the past hour on the phone with his brother, trying to convince the idiot that it’s in his best interest to keep the grassfires from burning Lang Downs, and Taylor still won’t agree to send men to help.”

Thorne’s confusion must have shown on his face because Molly laughed. “Sorry, you don’t know that story, do you?”

Thorne shook his head.

“Taylor Peak is the station to the southwest of us, owned and run by Devlin Taylor. You’ll never meet a more disagreeable man. Anyway, about five years ago, Taylor and his brother Jeremy had a falling-out, and Jeremy ended up here on the station. Jeremy’s completely loyal to Lang Downs now, but he hoped he could call on any remaining brotherly sentiment to get Taylor to help us out. So far, he hasn’t been successful.”

Thorne grinned, though there was no humor in the expression. “I could go talk to him.”

Molly threw her head back as peals of laughter escaped. “Oh, I would pay money to be a fly on the wall during that conversation. You’d have him pissing his pants in no time.”

Thorne laughed at that. “Am I that scary?”

“Not when you’re snuggling my daughter,” Molly said, her eyes still sparking with mirth, “but I think under the right circumstances you could be very scary.”

“If you think it will help, I’m happy to be the heavy,” Thorne offered, “but I don’t want to make matters worse between the two stations.”

“You can’t,” Molly said. “Taylor is a homophobic bigot who will never see Caine as anything more than a Yank usurper and both him and Macklin as pillow-biters despite the fact that they run a more successful station than he does. The fact that his brother is gay too, not to mention ‘shacked up’ with our foreman’s brother, only makes it worse. He’s convinced we’re a den of iniquity and that the only good would be if we all burned in hell. He probably thinks the grassfire is judgment on us for our sinful ways.”