Conrad Cooper's Last Stand ePub (12 page)

Dear Tane,

It's Conrad. Are you there?

I'm praying very hard now. You can probably tell 'cause I've crossed myself twice, right down to my toes. I'm also shouting inside my head, just in case you're miles away planting trees in the Amazon rainforest or something. I really need your attention right now, even though I'm not Maori, okay?

Tane, we have to …

‘Hey, where are you going?'

Oh, it's Jasper. Hang on a second, Tane. ‘Jasper, I've gotta go. Can't talk.'

He grabs my handlebars. ‘Go where?'

‘Um, up the hill.'

Blinking, he looks up and down the street. ‘What hill? What for?'

‘To rescue Mr Kelly.'

I try to pull away, but now he's really interested. ‘Mr Kelly? Last year's Room 14 teacher?'

‘Yeah, let me
go.
'

‘Why?'

‘'Cause he's going to be arrested. I've gotta warn him.'

‘Arrested? Hang on! What's he done?'

‘Nothing.'

Jasper's still hanging on to my bike handle. Tane, I'm too old to bite his arm. How about giving me super strength so I can karate-chop his wrist?

Jasper pulls my bike closer. ‘Wait a minute … the hill. You mean Bastion Point?'

‘Yeah, Mum says it's today. The police are coming, I've gotta go!'

‘No you don't, not without me! Wait, I'll get my bike.' He lets go so fast, I nearly fall off my seat. Shoes scrape against concrete and Jasper runs off like his feet are on fire. But I can't wait.

I'm coming, Mr Kelly …

Tane, can you keep an eye on him until I get there? Can you make my feet go faster?

Tane?

Are you listening?

I figure I'll drop my bike at the bottom of the track. No one's gonna steal it, not when most of the cops in Auckland are heading this way. Who'd commit a crime in front of all those policemen?

Jasper's right behind me, yelling, ‘Wait! Wait!'

He's faster than I realised. Either that or you got us mixed up and gave him super strength. My legs feel pretty weak, like rubber filled with water.

Never mind.

He catches up, panting. ‘Oh, wow. Look!' He points at a police car pulled into the middle of the road, right by the track. Three cops are standing in front of it, their arms folded.

Jasper gasps for air. ‘A road block? It's just like the telly!'

Not recognising any of the cops, I get off my bike and pretend to check the chain. Jasper pants down the back of my neck, ‘Jeez, this looks serious.'

‘Hmm.'

People who aren't used to cops always think they look serious. Personally I just see a bunch of dads dressed up with funny hats. Having said that, today he's right. They're not frowning, they don't have any expression at all. It's like they left their feelings at home. Dunno why, but I'd feel better if they looked angry.

Jasper scratches his head. ‘Let's say we're going to school. We can pretend this is the way and they'll have to let us through.'

‘Um, a school
on
Bastion Point?'

‘Well, we could pretend it's a shortcut.'

‘Nah, it won't work. They'll have orders. No one will be allowed through.'

He shrugs. ‘Got any better ideas?'

‘Um …'

Okay, Tane, what's the plan? I could use a sign, right now. Not a street sign or anything, but a miracle-type sign. There's plenty of gardens around here, maybe tree branches could spell out words, telling me what to do. Even better, two giant trunks could erupt out of the pavement and form a bridge, right over the police block. That'd be cool.

Oh, one time I saw this movie where birds attacked people. How about that? You own the birds. The cops are wearing helmets so they'd be okay … I think.

‘Well?' Jasper stares at me.

Looking around, I can see the lip of the ocean at the far end of the road, the corner shops, and a couple of houses on either side. There's not a single killer sparrow in sight. Down the left, there's Suzie's little red gate, just before the dairy …

Wait, that's it!

‘Jasper,' I hiss. ‘Follow me and act
real
calm, like everything's normal.'

He blinks but follows me back up the road, towards Suzie's house. Of course he keeps talking the whole time in a loud voice, ‘We are NOT doing anything suspicious. We're NOT going anywhere near those crazy people up the hill –'

‘Shhh!' I drop my bike by the gate. ‘What're you doing?'

He frowns and practically shouts, ‘ME? I am CALMLY
following you into a STRANGER'S HOUSE!'

‘Jasper? Cut it out!'

He drops his voice real low. ‘What? This way if we end up being arrested, witnesses can say they heard us talking about
not
doing anything wrong. Then a jury will have to find us innocent.' He frowns. ‘It worked on an episode of
Days of Our Lives
, see, a mysterious lady was trespassing on the millionaire's property and –'

‘Just shut up, okay?'

‘Sure, but –' his voice soars up like a skyrocket, ‘we are NOT whispering about doing anything ILLEGAL! We are ONLY talking about HOMEWORK!'

Oh, man. It's a good thing those officers are too far away to hear him. I sneak a peek at them and shrug, so they can see Jasper is nuts and there's nothing to worry about. Luckily grownups often think kids act crazy, so they don't try to arrest us. Mum would freak if she had to bail me out of jail.

I push the doorbell on Suzie's house. A lady answers, her head wrapped up in a fluffy blue towel.

I clear my throat. ‘Excuse me, is Suzie here?'

She blinks at me, rubbing smudges of leftover mascara around her eyes. ‘It's a bit early, isn't it?'

‘Um, I left my school project in your backyard.'

Well, that's kind of true. Yesterday I dragged my homemade birdbath over here. I can't keep it at home, not until I figure out how to disguise it as a letterbox and
that's gonna take some time. I'm pretty sure Gaz will get suspicious if the power bill arrives covered in bird droppings. It's possible I need to design the world's first toilet for birds, which will make Tane happy … Oh. I'm not supposed to worry about Tane any more.

Weird, I'll have to get used to that.

Suzie appears behind her mum's elbow. She's wearing striped pyjamas, a pair of white bunny slippers, and there's a toothbrush sticking out of her mouth.

‘Con-wad?' Foam spills over her lips like she swallowed a mouthful of bubble bath. ‘Wha cha doooin?'

‘I – I came to get my project. It's uh, in your backyard.'

‘Wa wha?'

‘The
project.
In your
backyard.
'

Suzie stares like I just told her a UFO's parked out front and would she like to go for a spin? But then, very slowly, she nods.

‘Ooh, da oojec. Kay.'

She steps forwards and grabs my arm, dragging me into the hallway. Jasper follows right behind, blabbering at Mrs Blake, ‘We're not doing anything wrong. We're just going outside. That's not illegal in
any
way.'

He's enjoying himself way too much.

‘Uh, right.' Mrs Blake just puts her hand on the towel and calls out, ‘Suzie, make it quick. I don't want to be late for work.' And she disappears into the bathroom.

Stopping to spit into the kitchen sink, Suzie drags us
through the back door, onto her patio.

Not much to see here, Tane. It's a tiny backyard, crushed between two blocks of flats that soar into the sky like concrete mountains, and her garden feels cold. That's 'cause Bastion Point runs along her back fence, higher than any ordinary buildings, with branches of pohutukawas stretching out from its sides like arms.

‘Right.' Suzie folds her arms. ‘What's going on?'

‘Um, do you have a ladder?'

‘A what?'

‘We need to get up the hill and past the police, so I thought we could climb over your back fence.'

‘You need to do
what
?'

Anyone would think she had hearing problems. ‘Suzie, we're in a bit of a hurry. Do you have a ladder or not?'

‘Yeah, it's around the side of the house.'

She shakes her head, but Jasper's already off. He disappears, squeezing between a large lemon tree and the garden shed, then bursts out again, carrying a short, rusted ladder. ‘Quick,' he says, kicking open the legs. ‘Before Suzie's mum finishes putting on her makeup.'

Suzie rolls her eyes. ‘Don't worry, that'll take ages. Anyway, why do you want to get over my fence?'

I point up, past the branches. ‘The eviction's today. We have to warn a teacher … it's a long story.'

‘Oh, right.' She blinks. ‘Cool.'

Clanking and banging, Jasper leans the ladder against
the fence. It looks sturdy enough, even though there are a few rotting planks, but it's covered with purple bougainvillea and enough thorns to stab an army to death.

I jump up first and figure Suzie's going to hold the ladder steady, but she plants a foot on the first step. Jasper snaps, ‘You're not coming.'

She frowns. ‘I am, too.'

Jasper snorts, ‘No you're not. Your mum will freak when she realises you're missing … and you're wearing jammies. Come on, Conrad.' He holds the ladder steady, while I take another step.

Suzie folds her arms and says, ‘
I'm coming.
'

‘What?'

‘This is just like The Secret Seven. Every time anything exciting happens, the girls get left behind! I'm
coming.
'

‘But we don't belong to a secret club.'

‘And this ladder doesn't belong to you, but you're still using it!'

Great, last thing we need is an argument. ‘Um, guys …'

Jasper ignores me. ‘Suzie, you're not making any sense!'

‘Yeah? How about I take back the ladder and
then
we'll see if I make sense.'

‘Guys!' I shout. ‘Of course Suzie can come! I don't care if our whole class climbs over the fence, just hurry up!'

‘But she's not –'

‘Shh! You wanna get us arrested?'

That shuts them both up.

Glaring, Jasper holds the ladder steady. One foot after another, I wobble up the steps, getting a good look over the edge. The bottom of the hill curves up steeply, leaving a small gully along the fenceline.

‘Suzie,' I call, over my shoulder. ‘Are you sure? It's a long way down.'

Jasper snorts under the ladder. ‘Yeah, don't expect me to catch you.'

‘As if
you
could catch me.' Suzie sighs. ‘
Boys.
'

Jasper mutters something at her and then calls up, ‘Hang on, how far down is it?'

‘Well, it dips down this end, so it's further than you'd think.'

‘How far
exactly
?'

I put one foot on top of the wooden fence, feeling the planks shake under my Charlie Brown shoes. ‘I dunno … not far enough to get really hurt, so maybe we'll just break our ankles.'

Leaping off, the last thing I see is Jasper's face, his mouth wide open. That's pretty funny, maybe I'm getting better at making jokes. And then I hit the ground, hard. I don't think anything much after that, except
ow
.

Landing on my arm hurts, but not as bad as Jasper falling on me.

‘Argh!'

My head tips back and hits the ground, hard. Everything spins and beats, like my brain grew two centimetres and started pounding against my skull, trying to get out. Any second now it'll slither through my ears like a snail, looking for a new shell.

‘Hey!' Jasper holds his arm and groans. ‘You were in the way!'

‘Was not!'

‘Were too. What was I supposed to do? Fly over the top of you?'

‘You could've at least tried to miss me!'

Suzie lands further back up the hill, injury free. Pulling herself up, she folds her arms. ‘Are you two finished?'

‘But he just jumped on my head!'

‘Yeah, you can both cross “stuntman” off your list of dream jobs.' She looks down at her pyjama bottoms,
soaked in dirt from the knees down. She's standing in a puddle; her slippers look like wild bunnies taking a bath. ‘Great, Mum'll kill me. Well, what now?'

‘Uh …' I look up and
wow
. Does Bastion Point have to be so big? Thing is, I'm used to walking up the track. From here it looks steep and rocky, more like a mountain range than a large hill.

I stand up and the world sways. ‘Oh …'

‘You okay, Conrad?' Jasper's freckles dance over his face. I'm pretty sure that's not supposed to happen.

‘Um …' My stomach rushes into my throat. Aw, no. I'm gonna be sick.

‘Conrad?'

I take a deep breath. Now's not the time to come down with a tummy bug or anything. For a start it'd be a total waste of a sick day, I don't have a test this morning, and I've gotta get to Mr Kelly and his friends.

‘Um, I'm fine …' I take a couple more deep breaths, my tummy rising and falling like waves, each one crashing and foaming inside my guts. The freckles on Jasper's face stop bouncing and the swaying slows down, until the world looks normal again. Weird, it's like being in a tree when the wind stops blowing, and the branches settle back down … but my head still hurts. I'm not waiting for another gust.

Sucking a deep lungful of air, I say, ‘Come on, guys. We have to climb up.'

Jasper groans, looking at the rocks and roots hanging like ropes in front of us, and then he sighs. ‘Right, well … onward Sherpa Tenzing!' Then, he does what Jasper does best. He makes things worse. In this case it means he starts singing ‘Climb Every Mountain'.

Suzie snorts and heads up the hill first, turning her head to say, ‘Let's just be clear, that makes you Maria von Trapp.'

‘Whatever; does not.'

He's right. No one in
The Sound of Music
sang like a cat trapped in a cave, screaming and echoing at the same time.

Ignoring them both, I scramble up the hill, trying to avoid sharp rocks and roots snaking out of the ground like booby traps. Behind me, Jasper changes song and starts yodelling about a lonely goatherd. At least he's not worried about the police any more. They're miles away on the street, but they could always arrest him for singing. He's a public nuisance.

Tane, are you listening? Look, I know I'm not supposed to be talking to you, but I'm kind of in the habit and … well, climbing the side of a small mountain isn't easy. My feet keep slipping in the mud and there's not much to hold on to. Suzie's in front and her slippers live up to their name and
slip.
She's like a tyre stuck in the mud and dirt splatters back, right into my eyes. Yuck, it's like the hill decided to spit on me.

‘Suzie!'

‘Oh, sorry!'

She takes off her bunny slippers, one by one; her free hand grips on to a thick root. Grunting, she flings one over her shoulder, down the side of the mountain.

Behind us, Jasper wails another song, which I'm pretty sure is from
Watership Down,
a movie where rabbits die and go to heaven.

‘Shut up!'

‘Hey
– ow
!' Suzie's second slipper hits him smack in the face. I don't think it was accidental – but it did shut him up.

Tane, we're too late.

Your little town on the hill is deserted, except for a few roosters and dogs. I can't see kids anywhere. Then I realise all the grownups are standing in a circle around a building called the whare, their arms linked. No one's talking much, they're all just staring into space.

Suzie gasps, her fingers digging into my shoulder. ‘Conrad, look!'

She points behind us, at the view below. My heart jams in my throat. Jasper mutters a word that would guarantee him two days scraping gum off desks, a week of litter duty and possibly the strap.

Rows of police march up the hill, their white plastic hats bobbing up and down like an army of eggs. But
that's not all; I can make out the local squads and heaps of army trucks. Behind them, road blocks have emptied the streets and grownups stand on their front lawns, staring at the hill. From here they look like tiny Lego people, small and helpless.

I reach out and wrap my hand around Suzie's elbow, and Jasper grabs my arm. All three of us hold on to each other like we're about to slip down the mountainside.

Suzie breaks open the silence. ‘What's going on? They can't need that many police!'

Jasper just shakes his head. ‘Maybe they're not really cops. Maybe it's an invasion.'

Unbelievable. We're in the middle of an eviction and Jasper manages to invent a
worse
situation? I shake my head. ‘You've got to be kidding. Who would want to invade Mission Bay?'

‘Um … the Australians?'

‘What?
Why
would they do that?'

‘They've already got six states, maybe they want another one? You know countries go mad for power all the time. Remember what Miss Cody said about World War Two? That Hitler guy was a nutter and she reckoned it could happen again, in
any
country.'

Suzie snorts. ‘You are completely insane.'

Okay, Tane, I s'pose the Aussies could go crazy for power – and let's face it, who wouldn't want our rugby team after the Grand Slam in Wales? But Jasper's wrong,
it's definitely the New Zealand Police. I recognise those white helmets, bobbing in rows like dozens of lost moons orbiting the hill. And they're not alone.

There's also the fire brigade, soldiers, an ambulance, a helicopter, bulldozers, trucks – and people climbing the hill with big cameras on their backs. Journalists, maybe? Some of them are already here, setting up cameras and getting shots of the whare.

‘
Conrad
!'

Mr Kelly's voice booms across the empty village; we all jump. I look back at the crowded whare but it's impossible to make him out among all the others. Still, his voice cuts across the paddock, ‘What the heck are you doing here?'

He does
not
sound happy to see me.

I look at Jasper and Suzie. ‘Um, wait here, I'll be right back.'

‘Hang on –'

I don't stick around, no point wasting time explaining. Running over to the whare, I look for Mr Kelly's face. No one looks happy to see me, but I search for the angriest expression. It's not hard, 'cause he starts shouting again, ‘Who told you to come up here? Get back down that hill before I boot your behind all the way to school!'

He's got his arm wrapped around another man's shoulder. On his left there's an old lady. Her white hair sticks up in the breeze, and she clucks her tongue like an
angry chicken. ‘No kids up here! They're supposed to be down the hill!'

Mr Kelly's frown deepens. ‘Mum, I didn't tell him to come up here. Conrad, you and … who else is there?' He looks past me at Suzie and Jasper.

‘Um, just a couple of kids from school.'

‘Conrad, it's not a bleedin' school trip to the Botanic Gardens! Get outta here,
right now
!'

Talk about unfair, so I blurt out, ‘I just came to warn you about the police. That's all.'

He stops talking and his mouth hangs open, like he ran out of air. Someone laughs, but most people just stare straight ahead like they're seeing something over my shoulder. Mr Kelly stares too, but he's definitely looking at me.

‘Conrad.' He takes a deep breath, like he needs to separate my name from his thoughts. ‘Thanks for the, uh, warning, but we already noticed the cops. In fact, we've known about the eviction for days.'

Oh.

Well, I don't read the papers – how was I supposed to know? And they've been saying the Maoris would be evicted since the middle of last year, so I didn't pay attention when kids at school said it wouldn't be long.

Now, he's looking at me like I kicked him in the guts. He really doesn't want me here. How is it when you try to do something right, people act like you're doing
something wrong? I can't win.

‘So …' I look back at the edge of the hill. ‘You think we should go?'

‘
Yes.
'

‘Okay. Um, good luck.'

Turning, I run back towards my mates; Jasper who's jumping from one foot to the other, and Suzie who looks like she rolled out of bed and into a pigsty. Maybe they get the general idea 'cause when they see me running, they turn around and make for the nearest track down to Mission Bay. It's our only way down; we can't get back over the fence, not without a ladder.

‘Hey, Conrad!' Mr Kelly's voice calls out a second time across the empty hillside. I turn around, just for a second. He's lost in the faces, but his voice shouts from the heart of the group. ‘Thanks anyway, eh?'

I just nod at everyone and boot back, towards the path. My feet slide in the mud and I almost slam into Suzie and Jasper. Course it doesn't help that they're standing like a couple of statues, staring down the track.

‘What're you guys doing …?'

Jasper looks back at me, his face expressionless, like the cops we saw down on Atkin Ave. Only I know he's scared – it's like his emotions decided to jump off his face and hide. Stepping back, I almost trip over Suzie's feet but she catches my arm and points. ‘Look.'

Oh, man.

The police are already halfway up, coming from every direction. In fact, they're closer … maybe a hundred metres away?

Gaz.

He's in there somewhere, looking up at the top of the hill. Oh man, will he spot us? Tane, this is bad. Disguise me as a cloud or a bird, or something – anything. I don't care, just don't let him see me.

All of us stand there, staring. But the cops and army don't stop, they keep coming right at us. What if they think we're protestors? Doesn't matter that we didn't do anything wrong, I'm guessing
they
don't know that.

I don't wanna get arrested.

Tane, if you were running down a track and came face to face with an army, what would you do? I'm guessing you'd probably throw some tree trunks at them, or lob pine cones like hand grenades. But I'm human and if you're wondering how a couple of kids handle it, I'll tell you.

We run like scared chickens, right back up the track.