Conscience (The Bellator Saga Book 2) (32 page)

“Stop, Jack,” she said, laughing.

He bit her neck gently. “No matter what I do to you and no matter what we call it, I’d like to keep the evidence of our wantonness to a minimum.”

“I see your point.” She grabbed onto his shirt again as he entered her slowly. “This is fine with me.”

Jack placed his hands on her hips, holding her in place as he thrust in and out of her. “I love you, Caroline.”

“Forget the appearance of impropriety,” she murmured, wrapping her legs around him. “I waited too long to have gubernatorial desk sex.”

“Over two years, you horrible woman. Are you saying we can do this more often?”

The combination of the irresistibly verboten and the alluringly sweet was too tempting to pass up. “Definitely.”

He pumped into her, moving one hand up to her neck, pressing his chin against her shoulder. “You feel incredible,” he panted. “Can you feel me?” He thrust again and she cried out. “Can you feel that?”

Caroline whimpered into his hair, running her fingers through it. He kept moving in and out of her, faster and faster, slowing down to an almost agonizing pace until he shuddered inside her.

He rested his forehead against hers. “That was worth the wait.”

“I fully agree,” she whispered.

Jack moved down to kiss her neck, still panting heavily. “I want to savor this one a minute.”

He stood with his arms wrapped around her as his breathing began to slow. Caroline rubbed his back, wishing they could stay in the moment forever. That he’d stay inside her all night. That maybe no one would notice if they lived on his desk for a while. She was about to drift off into another daydream but was shaken back into reality by a pounding at the door.

“Governor! Governor, are you in there?”

“Shit,” Jack said. “It’s Greg.” His eyes widened. The lock was turning. “And he has a key.”

He pulled out of her quickly and threw the condom into the small garbage can under his desk, tossing Caroline her shirt. He started to adjust his pants as she frantically tried to put her blouse back on. “Greg!” Jack called. “Wait-”

They weren’t fast enough. Jack’s chief of staff barreled through the door. “Governor! Are you all right?”

Caroline hopped off the desk, pulling down her skirt. Jack tried to shield her from Greg’s view.

“Oh,” Greg said awkwardly. “Um-”

Jack tucked his shirt back into his pants. “What can I do for you, Mr. Keller?”

“Sir, I’m sorry. I – you weren’t answering your phone.”

Jack grabbed his suit jacket from the top of the desk and handed it to Caroline. “Put this on, sweetheart.”

Greg looked around the room, his face bright red, pausing when he saw the mess of papers on the floor. “What happened in here?” He took a deep breath. “That desk is an antique, sir.”

“You know damn well what happened in here,” Jack said.

Caroline tried not to laugh. Greg was the kind of guy who
would
be more concerned about the furniture than the half-naked people standing in front of him.

Jack attempted to smooth out his clothes, which were pretty much a lost cause. He was almost shaking with anger. A rare sight, even for him. “What the hell is going on?” he asked. “What part of
do not interrupt me
do you not understand?”

“I’ve been calling you nonstop for almost forty-five minutes. I thought – I was about to call security to find you but drove over instead.”

Jack still sounded annoyed. “Greg, what is it?”

Caroline slipped his suit jacket on over her open blouse and picked his phone up. “Thirty missed calls,” she said. “It’s been ringing the entire time.”

“Really?” Jack asked incredulously. “Good to know that silent feature actually works.”

Caroline’s stomach tightened. “Greg, what happened?”

Greg was already over at the big screen TV next to the couch. “The president’s dead.”

She finished buttoning her shirt. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he said, turning the TV to CNN.

The Breaking News headline flashed across the screen as Caroline moved closer to the television.

‘President Hendricks Assassinated By Lone Gunman At Los Angeles Event’

Caroline pulled Jack’s suit jacket around herself. “Oh no.”

Jack wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. “I’m right here, sweetheart.”

“It just happened, maybe an hour ago,” Greg said.

Caroline shushed him as the anchor began to speak.

‘Here is what we know so far, as this is a developing story and news is still coming in. President Hendricks left the dinner shortly after eight o’clock Pacific Daylight Time, surrounded by Secret Service agents and staffers. As he was walking toward the Presidential Limo, shots rang out from the crowd that had gathered nearby. The president was struck by two bullets, one to the head, and one to the chest. According to medical personnel at Cedars-Sinai, he was dead on arrival. His wife and other staffers were unharmed. LAPD and the Secret Service have taken a man in for questioning. An assault rifle was located in close proximity to the gunman. The crowd outside the hotel was searched prior to the event, and Secret Service personnel are trying to discern how such a powerful weapon could have been transported through security.

‘Vice President Santos was at his residence asleep during the incident. After being notified of the tragic event, he summoned the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and took the oath of office a few moments ago. He and his family have issued the following statement:

It is with regret that I assume this mantle of responsibility from my predecessor. My administration will do everything in its power to ensure that the person or people involved in this plot will be brought to justice and dealt with harshly. My wife Angela and I send our deepest condolences to President Hendricks’ family. He was a dedicated public servant who gave his all to preserve and protect the United States. May he be at peace tonight.

President Richard Hendricks was fifty-seven years old. He leaves behind his wife Ann, two children, and five grandchildren. We will continue to update this information as we receive it.’

“We need to make some calls.” Greg still looked uncomfortable and couldn’t make eye contact with either one of them. “I’m sorry I barged in like that.”

“It’s fine.” Jack wasn’t fooling anyone. He sounded pissed as hell. He gave Caroline’s shoulders a squeeze and took his phone out of her hand. “I may be a while, sweetheart.”

“Is there anything I can do?” she asked.

“Do you want to call Katie and have her come back over?”

“No,” Caroline said. A phone call would suffice until they saw each other in the morning. “I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

“You shouldn’t,” Jack said. “The president was killed, for God’s sake. How could anyone feel good about that?”

Caroline started to say something, then stopped. She knew exactly who felt good about it. He was probably happily packing up his belongings at Number One Observatory Circle as they spoke. But she knew Jack wouldn’t want to hear it. Not if she didn’t have anything to back it up. Creepy eyes and raw ambition did not an assassin make.

Jack kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry. I know you liked him.”

“It isn’t that,” Caroline said. “He was a nice enough man. I fear what this means. For everyone.”

“Don’t worry about that now.”

“I guess there isn’t much we can do about it tonight.” She knew her presence in the room would distract him from the difficult tasks he now faced. She also knew that she wasn’t going to get the answers she wanted from CNN. And she definitely knew she had no desire to sit on the couch next to Greg while going commando. She squeezed Jack’s hand. “I’ll head upstairs.”

“I’ll be up later,” he told her. “I know you’re upset but try to clear your head, okay?”

Caroline kissed him lightly on the lips. Not likely. “I’ll try.” She tried to smile at Jack’s chief of staff, who pretended to be focused on the television. “Good night, Greg.”

Greg nodded at her, still avoiding her eyes. “Good night, ma’am.”

She couldn’t go upstairs without addressing the elephant in the room. “Greg,” she started.

He looked at her. “Yes?”

“Just be happy your boss is getting laid on a regular basis. Don’t feel bad for interrupting us, given the nature of what’s transpired tonight.”

“Although you may have a reasonable gripe about us sullying the taxpayers’ office furniture,” Jack acknowledged. “I’d still prefer if you hold off on entering my office before waiting for a response first.”

“Those might be legitimate concerns,” Caroline said. “But we’re not going to deal with them right now. Other than that, no big. Okay?”

Greg reddened again. “Yes, ma’am.” He turned to Jack. “Sorry, sir.”

Jack’s expression finally softened. Apparently Greg was forgiven. “If it doesn’t bother the first lady, it’s not an issue for me. Let’s get to work.”

As Caroline walked back up the stairs toward their bedroom, she knew it would be a long time before Jack joined her. And she wouldn’t be able to sleep, either. Not while her mind was running wild.

The Past

It was almost four o’clock when the door to their bedroom opened. Caroline had been laying on her side in bed for hours after watching another half hour of CNN and talking to Chrissy and Katie separately on the phone. She’d had a brief, terribly awkward conversation with Ellen, who had been scheduled to attend the event as a courtesy to the president but canceled after her daughter went into premature labor. Caroline didn’t want to think about what might have happened if Ellie had been there as well. She knew that nothing useful would start to develop until more facts started to come in. And even then, she wasn’t entirely sure that mainstream media reports would be accurate.

Jack cursed softly as he hit his knee on one of the chairs in the master bedroom, and hopped into the bathroom. He was trying to be quiet, which was cute. Caroline kept still, burying her face in the pillow to contain her giggles. He continued to curse, starting the water to cover up the sound of his voice. Poor guy. The water ran for a few minutes more before he padded slowly out of the bathroom. He slid into bed beside her, wrapping his arm around her waist, holding Caroline close to him as he nuzzled her hair. He was only wearing boxers, and she smiled. He loved curling up as close to her ass as possible.

She rubbed his hand. “How’s your knee?”

He groaned. “Thank God you’re awake. That hurt like a motherfucker.”

Caroline didn’t bother trying to hide her fit of laughter. The room wasn’t exactly dark but Jack always had a hard time adjusting his eyes when he came in from the hallway. “You could have turned the light on.”

“I was afraid I would wake you up.”

Her highly intelligent husband had impeccable manners but was often clueless. “Did you really think I’d be able to sleep?”

He kissed the back of her head. “I guess not.”

“How’d the rest of your night go?”

“Like shit. Are you prepared to go to the National Cathedral next week? I’m fairly certain we’ll be asked to attend.”

Caroline sighed. “I guess so. I really hate funerals. Especially for people I actually like.”

Jack held her tighter. “Were you okay up here by yourself?”

She turned to face him. She couldn’t keep her voice from shaking, and there was nothing to be gained by lying. “Not really.”

“You didn’t spend the entire time watching CNN, did you?”

“No. I talked to Chrissy and Katie. And I chatted with Ellen a couple of hours ago. Tried to go to sleep but I couldn’t. Ellie was supposed to be with him.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t know what I’d do if something had happened to her.”

He shuddered. “Then let’s not think about it.”

“I don’t want to think about it at all but…the president was a nice man.” She started to cry.

Jack pulled her into an embrace. “It’s okay, baby.”

Caroline wiped her eyes. “I feel guilty because I’m not even crying over him. I barely knew him.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Do we have enough security? Can our troopers be trusted?”

“I would trust them with all of our lives without reservation,” Jack said. “But Greg and I spoke with the head of our security team tonight, and we’re tightening things up to be safe. We’re sending a group of guys up to check on the safety procedures at camp.” He pressed a finger to Caroline’s lips before she could speak. “Don’t worry, it won’t change anything the girls are doing there. They probably won’t even notice a difference. And until we know how this all happened, I’d feel better knowing you had one or two more suits at your side.”

“So I don’t get to run free outside of official events?”

“Not for the time being.”

Caroline didn’t want to divulge that she felt safer that way. Expressing her fears would probably make him more uneasy than anything else that had happened. She had complained about her security constantly since they moved to Harrisburg. She even sneaked out of the mansion unescorted a couple of times at first, to taste freedom. Jack had gotten so upset about it that she agreed to compromise: she wouldn’t need to take her troopers with her if it was personal business. And she’d always let Jack or one of her staffers know where she was going. One of the many aspects of being high profile that she hated. She never realized how much she enjoyed basic tasks like running to the grocery store or taking a random painting class before. Now that her husband was governor all eyes were on her, even more so than before. Her privacy had slowly been chipped away since her last eighteen months in Congress.

“What about you?” she asked him.

“My detail will increase as well.”

Caroline ran her hands up and down his arms. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me. We’re merely taking precautions. There’s nothing to indicate that this was anything other than an isolated incident.”

“Against the President of the United States,” she said. “That’s a pretty big incident.”

He kissed her forehead. “You have nothing to worry about.”

Caroline wrapped her arms around his neck. The fear that had grown during the past few hours came crashing down on her. “I can’t lose you, Jack. I-” She started crying again.

“It’s okay,” he whispered.

He’d dealt with her seesaw emotions before. Past losses tended to come back to her whenever tragedy occurred. She didn’t want to think about burying another husband. “I can’t live without you. I mean it. I’m not that strong.”

He wrapped her in his arms. “Nothing is going to happen to me. Or you. Or our children, or our friends, or anyone else we care about. I will never leave you.”

An empty promise, though he’d try his damndest to keep it. Even the most controlling of men couldn’t cheat death. “Hendricks was only a few years older than you. Anything can happen.”

One of Jack’s good friends from Wharton, Bill Neumann, suffered a heart attack and passed away during the gubernatorial campaign, and it affected Jack deeply. He’d been a few years younger than Jack, who responded by working out more, checking in with his doctor more regularly, and doting on Caroline even more often than he had before. At times it made her feel claustrophobic but she knew he meant well. And he’d managed to keep it up for the past three years.

“I’ll be fine,” Jack said quietly. “I’m in good health, I have an elite security team, and nothing is going to take me away from you.”

But Caroline knew from his tone of voice that he remembered what had happened to Bill, and the question of his own mortality had crossed his mind. He wouldn’t have talked to the troopers if it hadn’t. Maybe that was why he was so eager to prove himself in bed night after night. To show her he was young, virile, fully alive. He’d always had a blessedly high sex drive but she noticed a change in him ever since he turned fifty, right after he’d been sworn in as governor.

Caroline sniffled. She needed to take a step back. “I feel like such a codependent freak. You can’t make those kinds of promises, Jack. I know better than that.”

“I don’t want you to worry about this,” Jack said. “You have enough on your mind as it is. And you’re not codependent. You get attached. You live passionately. You believe in mutually supportive relationships, in the give and take between people. You lavish people with your kindness and affection even if you don’t know them. And you’re smart enough to appreciate what you have. It’s part of the reason I find you irresistible.” He grinned. “In other words, you’re a woman who loves too much.”

She wiped her eyes. He always knew how to make her laugh. “That last line sounds like something out of a dime store novel.”

Jack glanced down at the lacy nightgown she was wearing. “I remember seeing something like this in another dime store novel. Didn’t leave much to the imagination.”

Caroline giggled when he fondled her breasts through the silky material. “You have a one track mind, you know that?”

“You’re not pushing me away.”

She flopped on her back as Jack pulled up her nightgown and settled in between her legs. “Sometimes I think you must put something in my food. You make me horny all the damn time, even when it’s not even remotely appropriate.”

“Now is the perfect time to do this,” Jack said, trailing his tongue down her torso. “I want to forget all those phone calls I made, the difficult conversations I had. I want to bury myself inside you until I can’t see straight. I want to wake up next to you, remembering that you and you alone are the most important thing in my life. I want you to be reminded of how much I love you.” He grinned as he reached the apex of her thighs. “Still
sans
undies, I see. I believe I promised you a third round, Madame First Lady.” He started to kiss her clit.

“You’re trying to distract me,” Caroline said, spreading her legs even further.

He lifted his head up, but kept using his fingers, easing one inside her. “Is it working?”

“Mmm,” she said.

“I love you,” he whispered. He worked slowly, even slower than he had in his office. She wanted to tug on his hair and tell him that it wasn’t necessary, that all she wanted was him inside her…but his tongue, his hands, his breath felt so good. She still had difficulty concentrating. It took longer than it normally would because her mind was so unfocused. When she came, it wasn’t hard and fast but soft and comforting. Jack pulled up after he was finished, kissing his way up her body again until he reached her lips.

“Clear your mind,” he said. “It’s you and me tonight. No one else.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Let yourself be distracted. Let yourself feel good.”

“I’ll try.”

“I want to make love to you.”

She wasn’t going to complain about him using that phrase. Not now. Maybe not ever again. “Wasn’t that what you were doing earlier?”

His eyes were bright. “No. What we did in my office, what I did to you just now, that was nothing. That was fucking around. That was playtime.”

“Are you saying we won’t get to act out that scene with me bent over the desk?”

“Oh, we’ll get to that,” Jack said. “Very, very soon. And that won’t be playtime. We’ll see if you can handle it.”

Caroline closed her eyes, imagining how it would play out. “You drive me insane, Jack. All that reckless abandon. You don’t know what you do to me.”

“That isn’t what I want from you now. I want to feel close to you, as close as possible.” His voice was suddenly hoarse. “Please.”

He started to remove his boxers. Were his hands shaking? She ran her fingers through his hair to calm him down. “My darling. My Monty. I love you so.”

“I don’t want to think about anything but you right now,” Jack said. “You and me. You’re my heart, Caroline. Nothing else matters. Forget titles. Forget responsibilities. Forget the world. Just us. You will never, ever have to be without me.”

She pulled him on top of her. She loved the feel of his weight. It reminded her that even in his moments of vulnerability, he was strong. Hard. Hers.

“I love you, Mrs. McIntyre,” he said quietly.

Caroline closed her eyes as he entered her. “I know,” she whispered. “I know.”