Consequences (22 page)

“Where's Nikki?”

Her eyes got all misty. “She still has a missing child to find.”

In all the excitement, I had forgotten all about Aiden. I felt so bad for her. Here I was having a baby and hers was still out there somewhere.

“Why don't you go home and get some rest?” I suggested. Mama's hair was matted on her head and her clothes were wrinkled from sleeping on the couch.

“Your brother Travis's gonna pick me up at nine when visiting hours are over. I need to first find out how my daughter is feeling.”

“Not bad, considering I just had my coochie stretched wide enough to birth a watermelon.” Mama laughed and I joined in.

“While you were sleeping I had a chance to hold my grandbaby.”

I felt my lips tilting upward.

“The whole time I was rocking her in the chair I was thinking to myself this little girl is my chance to get it right. I made a lot of mistakes raising you, but I want to be there for my grandbaby.”

“That's good to hear because I'm going to need your help. I can't do it all by myself.” Hell, I didn't know the first thing about taking care of no baby.

“Look who's finally awake!” My nurse came through the door holding a little bundle in her arms. She leaned over and I held out my arms and cradled her close. She was all cleaned up and smelled like baby lotion. I loved that smell.

“Are you planning to breast-feed?”

I flinched and scrunched up my face. Goodness, the last thing I wanted was for my breasts to sag, but as I listened to the nurse explain the health benefits to breast-feeding, I eventually decided to give it a chance.

“Okay, so make sure she latches on.”

The nurse took my breast in her hand and manhandled my nipple. I was growing impatient and was ready to cuss her ass out, but instead I decided to just let it go for the sake of my child. It took a few moments as she showed me how to get the baby to latch on. I started to get frustrated because she was heavy handed and my breasts already felt sore. Then finally my daughter grabbed on and started sucking.

“Mama, look, she's doing it!” I exclaimed and then started crying again. Having a baby definitely throws your hormones all out of whack.

“Let her suck for a few more minutes, then try the other side,” the nurse instructed.

I nodded and turned my attention to my daughter while my nurse went to check on another patient.

Her little hand squeezed my finger. “She is so precious,” I whispered in awe. I still couldn't believe she was mine.

“You're gonna be a good mother. I'm certain of that. Better than I ever was.” A tear rolled down Mama's cheek and I dropped my eyes briefly, allowing her a moment to pull herself together. Feeling sorry for my mother was a new emotion for me. But it sure felt better than hating her.

“Thanks, Mama.”

She shook her head. “I made a lot of mistakes while you and your brothers were growing up, and they say the scars of the mother become wounds of the children. I messed all your heads up with the drugs and the men and never being around when y'all needed me. And the rape . . .” She got choked up. “I'll never forgive myself for allowing that to happen to you. But what I plan to do is to try and protect that little girl as much as I can because I don't want her to have to live the life I lived or to go through the things you did.”

I nodded and felt my eyes getting all misty-eyed. “Mama, that's all in the past. Today marks a new beginning. We got three generations of Meyers women in this room.”

She grinned at my statement. “Yes, I guess we do. Have you thought about what you want to call her?”

“Well, when I thought she was Jrue's, I wanted to call her Symphony, but now that I know for sure she's Leon's, I think I would like to name her Leona.”

Mama appeared pleased by my answer. “Leona is a pretty name. Leona Montgomery.”

“Leona Darlene Montgomery.”

By now the tears were flowing down my mother's face. “That's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

I finished feeding her on both sides, then handed her over to my mother, who burped her. “I guess I better get downstairs. Your brothers will be up with me in the morning to see the baby.” She kissed my cheek and I lay there in the bed staring down at my beautiful little girl as she slept. How could I already be in love with someone I had just met?

What I felt for my daughter I couldn't even begin to explain, because it surpassed anything I had ever felt for any of the men in my life. I thought I had loved Jrue, but it didn't even come close to what I was feeling as I gazed down at my little precious angel. I heard a light knock and I looked up and had to blink twice just to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

“How are you feeling?” Leon walked slowly into the room like he was almost afraid to be near me.

“I've been better.” I looked up into his face. He was growing a goatee and it looked amazing on him. I never had been able to get him to grow one and now he was. I couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy that he was doing it for someone else. “How did you—”

He cut me off. “Nikki called me this morning and told me you were in labor.”

My stomach did a flip-flop. “And you came all this way to see me?”

“No . . . I came to see my daughter.”

“She's . . . she's right here.” I pointed to the side of my bed. Leon came around and I watched his face as his eyes landed on his daughter for the first time. A huge smile tipped his lips.

“Can I hold her?”

Smiling, I nodded. “Of course you can.”

I watched as he lifted her into his arms as if she were priceless china.

“She looks just like you.”

For the first time he looked down at me and gave me a real smile. “Yep, she does.” He chuckled softly, then brought her to his lips and kissed her. “Hey, Little Bit. I'm your daddy.”

I knew I had no right, but at the moment I thought about the three of us being a family. If I had never messed with Jrue or had even ended the relationship when I had first realized I was pregnant, Leon and I would still be together.

“Does she have a name?” Leon asked.

I looked at him and nodded. “I named her Leona Darlene, after your mother and mine.”

He nodded. “Wait until she hears that.” He laughed and brought her cheek to his lips and kissed her again. “Mom and Dad wanted to come down, but I told them to just wait until we're back in Richmond.”

We're.
My heart started pounding.

“Leon, I—”

Again he cut in before I could even explain. “Trinette, there is nothing you can say that will change what you did to me and our marriage. But this is my daughter and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure she has a good life. The kind of life she was supposed to have had with two parents.”

Leona must have known we were talking about her. She started fussing, and I held out my arms. “She's probably hungry.” I unsnapped my gown and whipped out my breast. I noticed that Leon tried to look away. My DDs were one of the things he had loved most about me, so I knew there was no way he was going to be able to look away for long. While my daughter sucked hungrily, he just stood there and watched with fascination.

“I can't believe you're breast-feeding.”

You ain't the only one. “The nurse said it's important and I want this little girl to have what she needs.”

I knew he was surprised to hear something like that from a woman as selfish as I was, but nothing was going to mean more to me than this little girl, and if he'd just give me another chance I would prove it.

“Leon, just seeing my daughter . . . our daughter . . . made me realize just how stupid I had been. I want her to have two parents.”

He nodded. “I agree.”

What did he just say? I didn't want to get ahead of myself, but was he saying what I thought he said?

Leon moved over to the chair beside my bed and took a seat. “I want you to come back to Richmond.”

“Okay.” Yep, he did, and I was seconds away from leaping out of that bed and over onto his lap if I wasn't nursing my daughter. I moved her so she could nurse from my other breast and got ready to speak, but Leon spoke first.

“Wait a second. Before you say anything, let me finish.” He shifted on the seat. “You hurt me, Trinette. Not once, but twice, and I'll never be able to forgive you for that. I've already filed for a legal separation and my lawyer should be getting in touch with you.”

“Excuse me?” There was no way. I just gave birth to his daughter. “Didn't you just ask me to come back to Richmond?”

“So we can share joint custody.”

No he didn't. “I'll have to think about it.”

Leon leaned closer and I noticed the fire burning in his eyes. “Well, I advise you to think long and hard, because if you refuse to return to Virginia I plan on fighting you for custody.”

“What? Custody?” I gave a nervous laugh. “No judge in the world would tear a child away from her mother.”

“They will when they see the video of you and Jrue. Oh yeah, I forgot. You had no idea, but I installed a video camera in the condo out on the deck. I wanted to make sure our tenants were respecting the property. I just never expected to see a video of my wife fucking another man.”

Busted.

“I also spoke with Jrue and told him I'd let him know if he was the father. In exchange, he has agreed to appear in court as a witness if there is a custody battle.”

Leona finished eating and I put her over my shoulder and burped her as I thought about Leon's threat. It seemed like I hadn't much of a choice.

“I don't have a job. I can't afford to move back to Richmond.”

“I plan on letting you keep the house, which I will pay for. As well as a more than generous monthly child support payment.” He rattled off an amount that made my bottom jaw drop.

“In exchange, I want joint custody of Leona.”

I pretended like I was thinking about his offer when really it was the only option I had other than living with my mother in her one-bedroom apartment. And that definitely was no way to raise a child.

“Can my mother live with me?” Just being in the big house all by myself with a baby already scared me.

Leon looked surprised, then nodded. “As long as she's off the drugs, she's more than welcome.”

I nodded and didn't know what else to say.

Reaching over, he stroked our daughter's face. “Well, now that that's settled, I'll be back next week to take the two of you home.” He leaned over and kissed Leona, then rose, walked away, and didn't once look back.

36

Nikki

I parked my Lexus near the back of the parking lot near the gate, then took a long, deep breath. The moment of truth would soon be at hand. A state mental hospital was the last place in the world I wanted to be. But it had been ten days and the police still hadn't found Aiden, and Donovan was still in a coma. So what options did I have?

I climbed out of the car and looked at my reflection. I made sure my hair hung loose just the way Kenyon liked it, although just the thought of trying to please that man caused the acid to rumble in my stomach.

I had ten minutes to get inside. I straightened my dress and hurried in pink pumps into the building toward the front desk.

After I showed my ID and signed in on the log, I moved into the visitors' room and waited. While I sat on the hard bench I felt agitated and nervous as hell. It had been almost four years since I last saw Kenyon, and that was across the courtroom before he pleaded not guilty due to mental insanity. The last thing I wanted to do was to sit across the table from the nutcase, but I had run out of options. If going to see Kenyon meant getting my son back, then it would definitely be worth it.

The door knob turned and I felt like my heart had jumped through my throat. And then I turned my head and there he was.

Kenyon.

I guess I had expected him to be wearing a straitjacket with his hair wild all over his head and deep, dark bags under his eyes for years of being medicated. Only that wasn't the case at all. In fact, it was the exact opposite. All that dark chocolate still looked good in a white T-shirt that clung to his broad chest and loose-fitting jeans.

“What's up, Kenyon?” I greeted him playfully the moment he walked into the room.

He looked pleased by the warm welcome, especially when I rose and allowed him to hug me. As he held me against his strong body, I quickly had to remind myself that this was the same psycho who had kidnapped and threatened to kill me.

“You're still as beautiful as ever.” He slowly released me and gave me a knowing look.

“Thank you.”

While he took the seat across from me, I admired his good looks again. It was such a waste. How could someone who looked that good be so crazy?

“When my doctor told me you wanted to see me, you have no idea how shocked I was.”

Probably nowhere near as shocked as I was that my lawyer had gotten me permission to see him, especially since I was the reason Kenyon was locked up in this facility for eighteen more months.

“Well . . . you talked about finding closure and moving on, so I figured it was only fair that I come and give you a chance to do just that.” I gave a nervous laugh.

“Baby, I'm so glad to hear you say that.” He leaned across the table and grazed my fingers with his hand. I was ready to cringe when someone tapped on the glass. Touching and any other physical contact was allowed only when the patient initially entered the room. Kenyon pulled back. “I missed you.”

I frowned because I didn't even want to go there with him. Yes, we'd had some good times together in the months that we were a couple, but I never stopped loving my husband, and that's what kept us from ever really being together.

“How have you been?” I asked, because it was important for me to let him think I cared about him. It wasn't a total lie. I didn't hate him. I don't think I ever could because he really wasn't a bad guy. He was just crazy as hell.

“Baby, I've been taking it one day at a time. You'll be happy to know I finally let go of my mother.”

About time. The woman had been dead for over eight years.

He had this far-off look in his eyes. “Yeah, I was happy to hear she was in heaven with your grandmother.”

Like I said, he was crazy. Kenyon knew how much my grandmother had meant to me. “That's good to hear.” I was anxious to get this interview under way.

“Yes, but she still talks to me at night. Just don't tell my therapist that,” he added with a wink. “Otherwise, he'll think I'm crazy.”

Hell, I thought he was crazy.

“Seriously, Nikki, I wanted to let you know that I am sorry for everything I had done to you. When you didn't accept any more of my calls, I put my feelings all into a letter to you.”

“You did?” I said and decided to play dumb.

He frowned. “Baby, didn't Donovan tell you he read my letter?”

My heart started pounding. “How do you know that?”

He kept his eyes locked on mine like he was searching for the reason why I was really there. “Because he came down here to see me.”

“What?” Trinette had been right. Coming to see him had been the right decision.

He nodded. “Yes, baby. He was here last week.”

Okay, he was starting the
baby
crap again. It was one thing he used to do that drove me crazy. However, right now he could call me whatever the hell he wanted to call me.

“What did he come to see you about?” I asked like I didn't already know.

He shifted on the bench. “First, let me ask you a question . . . Is Aiden mine?”

I didn't hesitate. “Hell no. He's not! Aiden is Donovan's son.”

Did that freak of nature really think I had a baby by him? Goodness, we'd practiced safe sex. Okay, so maybe we were careless once or twice, but I had gotten my period. That I was pretty certain of.

“That's too bad. Although . . . I've done the math and if my calculations are right, there's a slim chance that Aiden is my son. I'm not ready to let go of that possibility.”

“Well, dream on. Aiden's Donovan's, not yours!” I sneered. There was no way in hell I was even going to allow him to plant that seed in my head. I know who's my baby's daddy.

There was no mistaking the disappointment on his face. “Whatever you say,” he mumbled, even though he didn't seem convinced.

I was sick of his pathetic ass already. “Listen . . .” I tried to keep the panic from my voice. “What did you tell Donovan?”

Kenyon gazed up at the ceiling like he was collecting his thoughts. “Baby, I told him the truth.”

“Which is . . . ?” Damn, this was too much like pulling teeth.

He grinned. “That we were in love.”

I was seconds away from jumping across the table.

Kenyon sensed my anger. “Baby . . . baby, I couldn't lie. Part of my therapy is telling the truth, and I thought by being honest with your husband I could move past the betrayal.”

This was way too much. How I wished I had just been honest and told Donovan about the affair when he had first returned from Iraq. If I had, none of this would have happened. Instead, I had to deal with the lies, deceit that led to my own husband trying to kill me.

“Kenyon, I—”

“Baby?” he cut me off.

My brows rose. “Yeah?”

“Can you call me your baby? Just once.”

Had he lost his mind? I had a hard enough time believing I used to have sex with him. I wasn't about to call this nutcase baby. That was before he sulked on the seat and suddenly looked bored with the entire conversation.

“Kenyon . . .” When he frowned, I quickly started again. “Baby . . .” Oh, that nut was grinning brighter than a ninety-degree day. “Baby, please, I need to know what Donovan talked to you about.”

“Well, he wanted to know if Aiden was mine and when I neither admitted nor confirmed that he was, he got angry.”

“Angry how?” I asked, nibbling nervously at my bottom lip.

“He said something about serving his country and this being the thanks he got. That he had friends who lost their lives and their wives left to raise their child on their own and one woman had lost both her husband and her baby.”

I was so sick of Donovan singing Smitty's wife's praises all the time like she was the only one who had gone through anything. At least her husband had died in combat. Mine had come back broken. I wasn't sure which was worse.

“What else did he say?” I asked, growing impatient.

“He asked if I had any family and when I told him yes, I have five sisters who live in Hannibal, he got up and left.”

Family, what the hell was he planning to do, drop Aiden off with one of them?

“Baby, is something on your mind?”

Kenyon always could read me. But there was no way in hell I was letting him know any more than he needed to know about my personal life. If Donovan didn't pull through, Kenyon might think we had another chance to be together again. I definitely couldn't have that.

“Kenyon, I hope you get better so you can finally get out of here and get on with your life.”

He stared across the table at me with those beautiful chocolate eyes of his and I felt myself remembering again some of the good times. “Baby, can I call you when I get out?”

I shut my eyes. “No, you can't call me and I'm not your baby. I am the woman responsible for putting you in here! I came here so you can get your closure, so shut the door, dammit, and don't ever open it again.”

“I'd really like to come by your bookstore sometime.”

“No!” I screamed. “If you want a book, then go to Walmart. Just stay away from my family and me. Listen . . . I love my husband and my son.”

“But your husband said he wasn't going to be raising another man's son.”

“But Aiden isn't another man's son.” I felt like I had stepped through the twilight zone because this conversation was one big circle. “Wait a minute. When did he say that?”

Kenyon looked puzzled by my question. “He said it just before he rose and stormed out of the room.”