Consequences (19 page)

—Albert Einstein

 Chapter 13

Claire waited about ten minutes after hearing the door to her suite shut. During that time, she lay still, barely breathing, and pretended to sleep. She didn’t want to face him, talk to him, or even see him
.
Though appearing peacefully asleep, her mind was a whirlwind of questions:
How
long
until
I
am
sure
he
won’t
come
back?
Can
he
see
me?
Is
he
watching?
Oh
god!
What
did
he
write?

Finally, her curiosity overtook her. She got out of bed and started to walk to the table to read his note. Suddenly, the thought hit her like a physical strike. She remembered the cameras and the staff. She reached for her robe on the floor near her bed and put it on. Sitting on the table where he left it was his note.

I
believe
we
have
a
blockbuster
on
our
hands.
It
is
hard
to
say,
until
we
thoroughly
review
the
footage.
I
plan
to
return
a
week
from
Wednesday.
Eric
is
available
if
you
want
to
visit
the
Quad
Cities.
I
trust
last
night’s
film
reminded
you
of
my
rules.
Don’t
disappoint
me.

Never in her life had she remembered being so overwhelmed with emotion. Her entire being emitted loathing, directed completely and totally toward one man, Anthony Rawlings. She hated him, his sadistic ploys, and nasty reminders. She picked up the note, crumbled it into a ball, and threw it against the wall. It created significantly less mess than the vase of flowers had months earlier.

Her mind tried desperately to compartmentalize the videos. She wanted to put them away, someplace she would never find them.
Think
of
something
else
, she told herself, but it was too difficult. She climbed back into bed and smelled his aftershave. Turning over the pillow, the cool side smelled fresh. That, with the realization that he wouldn’t return until a week from Wednesday, gave her a sliver of peace. She tried to concentrate.
What
day
is
it
now?
Sunday.
She felt her muscles relax. It is Sunday, his day to be home . . . but he is gone. Her eyes closed as tears began to slip onto her pillow. She drifted away to another place.

“Ms. Claire? Ms. Claire, you must wake.”

Claire tried to focus. She’d been somewhere in a dream. Now hearing Catherine’s voice, she rolled over and saw her standing at the edge of her bed.

“Catherine, what are you doing?”

“Ms. Claire, it is after one in the afternoon. You need to wake and eat. You have already missed breakfast and now lunch. I am worried about you.”

Opening her eyes caused pain. They felt puffy. However, Claire could see Catherine’s concerned expression and hear it in her tone. From the moment he left the room and she read the note, she’d been crying, even in her sleep. Her body ached, head ached, and heart ached. She felt more alone and isolated than she’d ever felt. “Thank you, Catherine, for your concern. But I believe I will stay in bed today. I’m not feeling well.” She tried to sound strong, but as the words came, so did more tears. They stung her swollen eyes. Claire wanted to concentrate on Catherine but her mind wouldn’t stop thinking of him and what he’d done. She didn’t want Catherine to see her in this condition. Claire rolled her face into her pillow, making her words muffled. “Please leave me alone.”

Catherine didn’t leave. Instead, she sat on the edge of Claire’s bed and tenderly stroked Claire’s hair as her head moved with the sobs. Catherine remained silent and comforted her until the sobs subsided and Claire caught her breath. “Ms. Claire, you will feel better if you shower and eat. Please let me help you.” Catherine’s concern and affection reminded Claire of her mother or grandmother. However, she knew that if they were here, they would be telling her to run, not shower.

Claire didn’t want to eat, shower, or even get out of bed. The only thing she wanted to do was to be out of
his
house. At that moment, she didn’t care if it was by car or death, she just wanted out. The feeling of helplessness sat heavily on her chest. She had tried to survive this ordeal. She had even convinced herself that she could handle whatever he sent her way. But this new situation was too much. He broke her. Since March she maintained her spirit despite the loss of her body. Yesterday he took that too. She turned to look Catherine in the eyes. “How have you been able to work for
him
all this time?”

Catherine stopped stroking Claire’s hair and gently took her hand. “Mr. Rawlings is a good man, Ms. Claire. He truly is.”

Claire shook her head. The tears and sobs resumed. “No! No, he isn’t. I have never met a more sadistic, cruel, bad man.” She closed her eyes, feeling the sting of the tears, the pounding in her head, and taste of her runny nose. Catherine handed Claire a tissue.

“Mr. Rawlings hides his feelings with certain behaviors. He is afraid to face his own emotions, and he uses this dark persona as a cover. It is not who he really is. I have known him a long time.”

Her words came between whimpers. “Catherine, I can’t. I can’t get up. I can’t face the staff. They all know. They have all seen me, seen him . . . I just can’t.”

“No, Ms. Claire. Only I have access to view the inside of your room.” Claire pulled her hand away from Catherine and rolled from her gaze. Catherine reached out to lightly touch her shoulder. “I only use that access to know when to send the staff inside or to check on your safety.” Claire continued to face away from Catherine. “And now I am concerned about you. Ms. Claire, please let me help you. It is a beautiful day outside.” Claire didn’t move. “Would you like your lunch in here or downstairs?”

Claire shook her head no. “I don’t want lunch. Thank you for your concern, but I am too . . . too . . .” She turned around to face Catherine. “I don’t know what I am. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

“Ms. Claire, you are a beautiful strong woman. That is what Mr. Rawlings finds so attractive. He is astounded by your strength and resilience.”

“That isn’t true. He hates strength in anyone but himself. He has to have total control.” Claire replayed scenes from the past that caused her body to shiver.

“Miss, you are partially right, Mr. Rawlings does not want to let anyone else have any power over him. Therefore,
if
he admits he has feelings toward you, he gives up control. And if I may, that scares him.”

Claire really didn’t think that anything scared Anthony Rawlings. “I don’t want his feelings. I want out. I want to go to Atlanta and forget I was ever here. I promise I won’t tell any of his secrets. I just want to go home.” Tears flowed with increased intensity and her next question was barely audible. “Do you think he will ever let me go?”

Catherine looked into her eyes. “Mr. Rawlings is a man of his word. If he said he will release you when your debt is paid, then he will.” The obvious question was when would that be? “Now after you shower, would you like your lunch in here or downstairs?”

Claire began to get out of the bed as Catherine helped with her robe. “I will shower, but I am really not hungry.”

“It is sunny and beautiful outside, the sun will make you feel better. I will have your lunch brought to the pool.” Catherine started for the door and stopped. “Unless you need my assistance?”

“Thank you, I will be all right. I will be down to the pool in a little while.” Claire slowly walked into the bathroom. She turned the shower on as hot as possible, stood under the stream, and let the flow hit her face and skin. It didn’t stop her head from aching, but it washed away the scent of him. As the steam built and her skin turned red, she found herself sitting on the bench, spray hitting her hair, and tears resuming.

She couldn’t be sure how long she sat in that position but the temperature of the water began to cool when she snapped back to reality. Drying herself she noticed new bruises, both hip bones and left forearm were red and tender to the touch, and when placing sunscreen she found some more on her legs. Momentarily, she considered the need to camouflage the bruises while at the pool, then she realized, why? Maybe the staff didn’t have access to the videos of her room, but what about the pool, his office, and any other place he chose to require her services?

She combed her wet hair, put on a bikini, a beach cover, flip-flops, and found her new sunglasses. Her eyes looked scary in the mirror. The sunglasses would definitely help. On her way to the pool she stopped in the library and grabbed an older magazine,
People
. Some light nonsense reading to help her mind stray.

As soon as she stepped outside of the house Claire realized Catherine was right about the weather, lower humidity with bright sunshine. When she reached the pool, Cindy brought a tray with her lunch: a turkey sandwich, mixed fresh fruit, and an iced tea. She asked if Claire needed anything else.

“No, Cindy, I am fine. Thank you for lunch.” The sound of defeat was heavy in her voice. The sight of the food made her ill. It reminded her of dining, and dining of Tony, and Tony of his rules, instructions, and video surveillance. She started to shove the tray off the table, but stopped
.
Someone would need to clean it up and that seemed unnecessary. She picked up the glass of iced tea and walked toward a chaise lounge. Remembering scenes on that lounge chair, she chose another.

The sun felt wonderful on her skin and the tea tasted refreshing. Her head still ached and eyes hurt. She suddenly wished she had asked Cindy for some headache medicine. Thumbing through the magazine she looked at pictures of celebrities. They all smiled, pretty and happy. She read an article about a little girl who was saved by her dog, sweet.

Then the latest gossip, who was with whom and who was splitting from whom. It was then that she saw the picture. In a section called “Star Tracks,” it was her! The photo showed her and Tony sitting in the private box at the symphony, her smiling at him and him holding her hand. It contained the title: Mystery Beauty? The caption read:

“
Anthony
Rawlings,
forty-five,
confirmed
bachelor,
mega
millionaire
and
red-hot
sexy
has
been
seen
at
numerous
events
in
the
last
month
with
this
beautiful
woman.
Sources
say
her
name
is
Claire
Nichols,
but
who
is
she?
Mr.
Rawlings’s
publicist
would
not
comment
about
speculation
that
there
could
be
someone
special
in
his
life.”