“It's hard to let yourself open up to someone after you have been hurt. I get that. But closing off your heart and thinking the worst of people will only leave you miserable and alone. Sure you might get hurt along the way, but how will you know if you never try?” Kelly says, her warm brown eyes focused directly on me.
I know she has a good point but even still, it doesn't calm the fear boiling inside of me. My feelings for Liam have escalated so quickly that the mere thought of losing him now, rips my heart in pieces. It is something I can not fathom and thus I am having a very hard time stomaching it. How is it that after eight years with Grayson that I never felt this fear? I never worried about losing him or what it would do to me if I did. Is it because he did hurt me that I am so focused on the pain Liam could potentially cause me? Or is something else entirely? Could it be that despite my eight years with Grayson, I am just now learning what it feels like to fall in love?
The thought both excites and frightens me. It is all happening so quickly. Maybe there is such a thing as love at first sight. Maybe we are programmed to share an undeniable connection with only one person and when that connection is made, the fear is our means of holding on to it, of making sure we don't let it fall through the cracks.
“I don't know Kelly.” I say as we make our way to the manicure station of the small family owned nail shop. “I have always believed the best in people. Look where that's gotten me so far. I can't explain it but something is not right. I'm not holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop because I am fearful that it will. I'm waiting for it to drop because I know that it will.” I finish, taking my seat next to Kelly at the small two person nail table.
A petite Korean woman with shoulder length black hair and perfect skin takes the seat across from me. She asks me what I want done and then puts her white mask in place before getting to work on filing my nails.
“Maybe it will, but how do you know that when it does that it will necessarily be a bad thing. Maybe what you don't know will only make things better once you do, not worse.” Kelly says. She always has a way of finding the positive, even in the bleakest of situations. “Can you think of anything that you could find out about him that would change how you feel?”
“I don't know. I mean I guess if I find out he's married and has two kids. Yeah, I think that one would be a game changer.” I laugh, realizing how ridiculous I must sound to her right now.
Here I am going on and on about Liam and how he is simply too good to be true, when poor Kelly just went through yet another break up. Since I was a kid, Kelly has had more boyfriends than I have fingers and toes. She always puts herself out there, willing to take the risk, even though up to this point it hasn't paid off. I can't help but envy her courage and persistence.
She chuckles beside me, as if just processing what I said. “You are your father's daughter.” She says eying me adoringly. “Only much prettier.” She says on a wink.
It's moments like these that I realize how very lucky I am to have family that loves me unconditionally and would do anything for me. It breaks my heart that Liam never knew that kind of love growing up. I try to picture what kind of person I would be, how I would have turned out if I didn't have my family there to support me every step of the way.
By the time we exit the nail salon forty five minutes later, I feel lighter about my situation. I need to take Kelly's advice and just live for each moment. After an afternoon of primping, I have grown quite hungry and we decide to eat at the little pizza place not far from my apartment.
As we take our seats at one of the square, checkered tablecloth covered tables in the center of the room, an amazing idea pops into my head. I don't voice it, knowing that Kelly will probably think I have lost my mind, and wait for my opportunity at the end of dinner to put my plan in motion.
I approach the counter when Kelly excuses herself to use the bathroom. A freckled face, red headed teenager is working the register and it takes me a moment before I figure out how I am going to play this. I know that Liam lives in the Bella Vita hotel. Where, I have no idea but certainly I could get that information from the front desk.
Deciding to handle this myself, I quickly ask the boy behind the counter if I can have an empty pizza box. He nods, grabbing one from the counter behind him and handing it to me. I walk back to the table, unable to contain the smile on my face. I can be so clever sometimes. Now I just need to wait for Kelly to call it a night before I can see my plan through.
****
B
y eleven, Kelly has headed to bed. Kristina was kind enough to give Kelly her room for her two night stay. While it was much appreciated I knew that she was just using this as an excuse to crash at Sam's. Once I feel sure that she is in for the night, I grab the empty pizza box from the kitchen and head to my room.
Kelly, of course, questioned me on why I needed an empty pizza box. I gave her some clever excuse about using it to wrap a gift for a friend who loved pizza. While she thought it odd, she took my answer at face value. I wasn't completely lying though. Liam and I had made plans for pizza and well... me. Since we couldn't do that just yet, I decided to send him a little reminder of our plans once Kelly has headed back to New York.
Blushing slightly, I remove my white lacy thong and drop it into the pizza box along with the note I had written.
Since we never got to have pizza in bed, I thought I would send you a little reminder of what you are missing. Can't wait to see you.
Love, Addison
I smile inwardly as I seal the pizza box with tape and head for the door. It takes me about fifteen minutes with traffic to reach the Bella Vita. I park my car on the side of the road, not expecting to be here more than five minutes.
I quickly enter into the main entrance of the hotel, a place I have yet to visit. The lobby is something out of a magazine. Bright and open with beautiful columns that stretch from floor to ceiling, giving it a castle appeal. There is a large five tier fountain located in the center and plush couches strategically placed around the area, most occupied by guests. Some reading, some sharing conversation in small groups.
I can see a lobby bar on the back wall that appears to be quite busy but I don't linger long, making my way to the reception area along the left wall. A beautiful, middle aged woman with a thick English accent greets me instantly. She has dark hair, pinned tightly back and is wearing a gray and white pant suit that screams professional.
“I was hoping that you could have this delivered to Liam Mason's room.” I say handing her the pizza box. She eyes me questionably, looking from the pizza box to me.
“Are you a pizza delivery girl?” She asks me looking rather confused. I guess she thinks I don't look the part.
I can't help the laugh that bursts from my throat. “No, no. It's kind of an inside joke. I don't want him to see me so I was hoping someone could run it up.” I say through my giggles.
“To Mr. Mason?” She asks.
“Yes. Liam Mason.” I confirm. She nods, picking up the phone.
“I have a delivery for Mr. Mason. Yes, yes. Thank you.” She says into the phone before putting in back on the receiver. “Dale is on his way down to pick it up. I will make sure Mr. Mason gets the package.” She says with a warm smile.
I thank her and then quickly make my way back out to my car. Once inside I am riddled with both excitement and nervousness. I have never done anything like this before. Grayson would have frowned upon my playful behavior. But with Liam, I think he will see the fun in it.
I can't explain how it makes me feel to not have to worry whether or not I am behaving in a proper way, to not have to worry about the judgments that come with that type of relationship. It feels good for once to just be myself.
As soon as I make it home I head directly to bed. If I had to guess I would say Liam is working tonight and probably won't receive the package until much later. Not really feeling up to a late night, I crawl into bed and snuggle deep into my blankets. My only thoughts are of Liam. The way it feels to be in his arms. The way my heart picks up speed at the sight of him. The way the whole world seems to fade out when we are together. These are the things I hold on to, the things I am willing to fight for, as I drift off to sleep.
****
I
feel the warmth of arms around me. The blissful haze that takes over my mind when Liam is near bleeds through me. I snuggle deeper into his embrace, determined to hold on to the dream for as long as possible.
I feel his lips brush against my temple, his breath hot on my face. “Wake up beautiful.” He whispers to me. It takes me a few seconds to force my eyes open, my heart accelerating quickly as I realize that I am not dreaming and that he is really here.
I blink rapidly trying to bring the room into focus. They finally settle on his handsome face hovering above mine. He smiles widely at me, my breath hitching at the sight of him here, in my bed.
“What are you doing here?” I manage to get out though my voice is thick with sleep. “How did you get in?” I question, noticing the only light that penetrates the room is coming from the hallway, telling me it is not yet morning.
“Your roommate is not very good at hiding her spare key.” His face burrows with concern. “Something she will need to rectify immediately.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Otherwise any old riff raft will find their way in.” I joke, reaching up to trail my index finger down his jawline. “I take it your pizza was delivered?” I ask, the memory of what I did flooding back to me.
He lets out a low laugh. “It was. I must say, best pizza I have ever had. Unfortunately it left me quite unsatisfied.” He says, rolling on top of me, my body pinned below him.
“I’m offended.” I fake a gasp.
“You shouldn't be. I prefer the real thing.” He growls deep in his throat, reaching down to trail his hand between my thighs. My body arches into his hand instinctively, instantly craving more of his touch.
“Mmm.” I hum in satisfaction. “Well by all means, I'm all yours.” I say, feeling the moisture pool between my legs. I have never known wanting like this. A thirst so intense that nothing but feeling him inside of me can quench it.
He lowers his lips to my neck, nipping and sucking his way down to the neckline of my shirt. “You won't be needing this.” He says, pushing himself up to peel my night shirt from my body. “I don't think you will need these either.” He says hitching his thumb into the band of my barely there bikinis. He gives a quick tug and I can hear the material rip.
“Hey!” I cry out, as he holds up the torn panties in front of me. “I liked those.” I exclaim being purposely over dramatic. He laughs and tosses them to the floor.
“No barriers Addison. I want all of you.” He says finding the base of my neck once more. His kisses are gentle, his hands like silk against my flesh. I moan out as he takes my nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the rim before taking it all into his mouth again. He slowly moves to the other, repeating the process until I am a bouncing with anticipation.
“I want to enjoy this.” He says, sensing my patience running out as I squirm beneath him. “Put your hands above your head.” I follow his command without a second thought, reaching high above my head, stretching out my body before him.
He continues his slow torturous assault down my body. Sucking and biting my flesh all the way to my inner thigh. He inhales deeply, a low growl escaping his throat as he plunges his tongue inside my lips, finding my clit immediately. I cry out the moment the contact is made. My entire body going rigid beneath his skilled mouth.
I arch my back into him, urging him forward. I spread my legs wider to give him easier access. I fight to keep my hands above my head, wanting so badly to plunge them into his hair. Within two minutes I can feel the build. It's so intense I grip the pillow below my head and pull at the fabric to keep myself grounded. “Liam!” I cry out as I explode around his mouth. My body fighting to keep still but failing miserably as I flail beneath him.
He wastes no time, crawling up my body, losing his pants in the process. He settles in between my thighs, his face hovering above mine. “You drive me crazy.” He says breathless against my mouth before pushing his lips to mine, his tongue entering my mouth in a hard rush of passion.
I grip my hands around the back of his head, holding him tightly to me. I kiss him back with as much force as I can muster, our teeth crashing together, our tongues invading each others mouths. “God, I love this.” He pants breaking away from my mouth. “I swear I could be with you like this....Forever.” The words come off his lips so quickly, it takes me a moment to process.
I don't have a chance to respond as he takes my mouth once more, this time less forceful but still full of want and need. I buck my hips upwards, the need to feel him inside of me taking over. He doesn't make me wait long, drawing back to plunge deep inside of me. I cry out from the shock of his entrance, my body taking a moment to accommodate his size.
He moves so slow, I feel like I might crawl out of my skin at any moment. He pulls all the way out, plunging back into me hard before continuing with his slow and steady rhythm, his mouth rarely leaving mine. “Are you with me?” He breathes against my mouth. His voice is rough and shaking, a sure tell sign that he is fighting for control and is quickly losing the battle.
“I'm with you.” I whisper against his lips, taking his mouth in mine once more. I can feel the deep build inside of me, feel every ounce of his thick erection weighing heavily inside of me. He moves so slowly that I feel like the build will never end, carrying me up, up, up, until I feel like I might float away and never come back down. Just when I feel like I can take it no more, I explode around him, crying out against his mouth. I continue to quake, my walls pulsing around him. He lets out a soft moan before letting himself go, his body becoming impossibly tight as he finds his release.
He collapses down on top of me, his chest heaving, his breathing raged. I gently run my fingertips up and down his back, loving the feeling of his body connected so wholly with mine. He withdraws on a deep breath and rolls to his side, pulling me along with him, until I am tucked tightly into his side. I snuggle deeper into his arms, my eyes fighting against my need for sleep.