Consumed by Wrath: An FBI/Romance Thriller (An FBI/Romance Thriller ~ Book 8) (5 page)

“A wedding is a huge thing to plan,” Tony added.

Chris snorted. “Please! Tell me about it. I made the mistake of wanting to help. I suggested we hire someone and let them have at it, but Cyra wasn’t keen on that suggestion.”

“You rode the couch
on that one, didn't you?” he teased.

“Oh yeah
, I did. She genuinely got upset over me not being an active participant in the planning and implementing of the event.” It took one night of Rex taking his spot in bed to get the hint. It was his wedding too, and he needed to own it. Apparently, throwing money at it was a bad choice on his behalf.

Lesson learned.

“That’s priceless,” Tony stated.

Chris wasn’t as thrilled, but he understood why Cyra had been upset. The poor woman
had to go head to head against his mother in the planning department. That was enough to make anyone want to drink, take medication, or run as fast as they could and as far away as possible.

“Yeah, well I have other issues to worry about.”

The tone in his voice said it all. The discussion was about to get serious.

“What’s up?” Tony asked.

Chris looked around to ensure that they wouldn’t be overheard. The lab was full of staff, and women who had the ability to find out the smallest piece of information and use it to their advantage in gossip.

“I’m scared shitless.”

That bothered Tony. “Then, you shouldn’t get married,” he answered quickly.

“No,”
he corrected, as he looked around. “I’m worried about her being in the field and getting hurt. I know if I even broach that topic, I’ll be sleeping in a separate bedroom for God only knows how long.”

“Ohhhhhhh
.” Now, he got it, and Tony lowered his voice too. “Why don’t you just tell her to stay home and not work? It’s not like you don’t have enough money to buy off God himself. You can support a family on just your income, never mind that rocking trust fund you’re perched on.”

Chris was caught between laughter and amusement. “Uh, you can tell
that you’re single and sleeping alone. If I even dare tell my fiancée to sit her very sexy butt at home, I’m going to be in big trouble. I won’t have to worry about it, because I won’t be getting married or laid.”

Tony was oblivious. “Maybe she wants to
stay at home.”

Chris shook his head
, discrediting that statement. “Picture Ethan or Callen saying that to Elizabeth, and then visualize the carnage. It’s a new century, my friend. We can think it, but we don’t dare utter it.”

He gave the man a few minutes to
imagine that in his head. When he saw the light bulb go on, he finally continued, “Cyra would react the same way. She was a detective and cop for years. If I suggest that, she’s going to go crazy and think that I don’t trust her.”

“I don’t know, Chris. You may be wrong on this one. I think you’re assuming that all women are like Elizabeth. Cyra may genuinely like being a wife and mother. Every time I come to your house, Cyra is cooking dinner
or baking you cookies. The place doesn’t look like it did before either. You have plants, colorful dishes, and throw rugs. Maybe she would like staying home to make the place her own personal nest.”

Chris pondered it.

The man may have a point.

Then
, he thought back to the one little issue that his mother had drawn attention to on their last assignment.

The prenup.

Chris would never make her sign one, but his mother had pointed out the big elephant in the room, and that was likely to make Cyra jittery. He hoped that she wouldn’t think that her being a mother was anything less than the hardest job in the world. He couldn’t put a price tag on that. If his children had a good mom, who baked cookies and loved them, he would hand over his trust fund in a heartbeat.

Money didn't buy happiness. The love of a really good woman certainly did.

But Cyra was likely to not agree to it. Belladonna planted that seed of doubt that she was only after him for his portfolio. Her giving up her career might make some people uncomfortable.

Mainly her.

It was absolutely ridiculous for her to even feel that way, but he understood why she would. Damn his mother for wreaking havoc once more in his life.

“Really, you should sit her down and talk to her about it. Cyra seems like a really levelheaded person.
I’m pretty good at gauging the living. I think that you’re underestimating the kind of woman she is, beneath it all.”

Chris contemplated it
and it gave him a little bit of hope that he might have a fighting chance on this one.

“Don’t worry, my friend. It will all work out,” Tony reassured as he handed the man
the tool to cut into the victim’s skull. “Focus on work and that’ll distract you.”

Chris turned on the saw and stared at the man’s lice infested scalp.

Strangely enough, yeah, it would.

                           *     *     *

FBI West

Tuesday
Mid-Morning

Doctor
Callista Gaines’s Office

If there was one thing that Ethan Blackhawk despised more than anything, it was sharing his life, feelings, or relationship with outsiders.

And he didn't mean non-Natives.

Once back from being abducted, as soon as he stepped foot in his office, he was met with a surprise. Gabe had stayed and laid down the law. Apparently, he needed to get a psych evaluation in order to return to work. Yeah, then and there, Ethan knew that his boss meant business.

In the back of his mind, he somehow knew that he wasn’t going to pass it. Come on! He had just been abducted and tortured for hours. His body still carried the scars and marks of a serial madman.

How the hell was he supposed to pass a mental evaluation? The only chance he had was if it was on paper. That way, he could bluff his way through it.

Unfortunately, Gabe saw
that one coming a mile away. He was forced to do a face to face sit down with a shrink.

Well shit.

As expected, he failed with flying colors.

He tanked it.

Screwed it up royally.

Call it what you wanted, but it
all meant one thing in the long run. Ethan earned a one way trip to weekly therapy sessions with a woman who barely looked twenty five. Somehow, she was supposed to hear his deepest, darkest fears and fix the mess that was growing in his life.

Yeah, fat chance on that one.

Could his life get any worse?

This particular
doctor liked putting him on the spot and asking questions that he wouldn’t even answer if his wife asked. Now, he was forced to play the game by Gabe’s rules, or he was released from his duty.

Awesome.

If that happened, his biggest fears would come true. Elizabeth would be on her own, get another partner, and figure out that she was better off without him. After hearing her confession of not having any more hope, it was a matter of time before he was obsolete.

His back was to the wall, and
he needed to endure more humiliating torture.

For almost four months, he spent his
Wednesday mornings sitting with a stranger and telling her all about his life. There were no holds barred, and it appalled him. The woman asked about his kids, their relationship, and even if his sex life was okay. No one ever dared to even tread there, but Doctor Gaines had no issue with asking him if he could still ‘perform’.

When she first asked that, he actually thought she was kidding and trying to break the ice.
Then, she followed it up with the word ‘erection’, and Ethan swore that he was locked in some nightmare.

Yeah,
he wasn’t.

God, someone put him out of his damn misery. There was nothing more horrifying than some
young girl asking you if you could get it up.

Had his wife been here, and in this case he wished she was, the woman would have had an earful.
Over time, as Ethan spent every weekly session justifying his mood, anger, and feelings, he realized something.

Fighting it wasn’t getting him anywhere.

In fact, it was holding him back.

After watching his wife crumble in his brother’s arms earlier, he realized that he needed to stop the
hard ass behavior and take control of something in his life.

He couldn’t fight the nightmares or the fear that shook him, but he could
give a little in their sessions and hope for the best. If he wanted to find his way home, he needed to let someone lead him. For the first time in four months, he was willing to be honest with the head shrinker and do what she asked.

What did he have to lose?

Only his heart.

His soul.

His marriage.

Oh, and his damn sanity.

Swallowing his pride, Ethan took one big step back to normalcy, and opted to fight for his marriage and relationship with his partners.

His way wasn’t cutting it.

At all…

“Ethan, I’m
so glad that we get to talk today,” Doctor Gaines began. “How are you feeling?” she asked patiently.

Over the last four months,
Callista Gaines had come to one conclusion. This man was one tough nut to crack. As hard as she pushed, Ethan Blackhawk had stubbornly offered nothing but resistance. In her reports to Gabriel Rothschild, he insisted that the woman keep at it and to hit harder. Callista wasn’t sure that was a good idea, but she went with the boss man’s instincts on this one.

Taking a deep breath, Ethan
took a chance.

“I’m not feeling so great today,” he began. “I saw Elizabeth crying last night
in Callen’s arms. I’m afraid that this is crushing her, and she’s not going to survive it. I’m killing my wife.”

Well, that shocked the hell out of her. As an FBI profiler and psychiatrist, she had seen a lot in her years with the Feds
and private practice. Never once did she believe that Ethan would actually be open with her.

Maybe the man had a chance to find his way back yet.

“Why do you think she broke down?” Doctor Gaines asked, cautiously. She didn't want to push too hard, now that she had finally gotten through the tough outer exterior of the man.

“I don’t think
that I’ve been able to be the man she needs lately,” he began. “I’m damaged.”

The truth sat there between them.

“Ethan, you went through a terrible experience. You have a right to be damaged. If you came out of this unscathed, I’d have to question your humanity and sanity.”

He closed his eyes. “When I go to sleep at night, I’m there. I’m in that bathroom, duct taped to the sink
, and he’s cutting into me. I can feel the knife slicing into my skin. I can hear his words and know that he’s going to kill me.”

As if on cue, his ring
less hand went to his chest over where the pentagram was carved. When the killer took his wedding ring, he simply wasn’t able to put it back on his finger. It symbolized and reminded him of what happened, and he wasn’t strong enough.

“The sick words that he whispered in my ears won’t stop replaying over and over. The pain of him abusing my body lingers, and it takes me back there.”

“But he didn't kill you, Ethan. You were stronger and you beat him, and death. That’s no simple feat. In fact, you’re incredibly strong.”

No, the killer didn't know
how desperate he was to survive or how badly he wanted to get back to his family.

Just like now.

“I feel like he reached into my chest and stole a little piece of me away. I feel like my heart is gone.”

Doctor
Gaines leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. “Are you still in love with your wife and your brother?” she asked, not quite sure how to phrase that question. The threesome thing was new for her. “Or do you think it’s time to peruse a new life outside of that couple? Maybe you need to move on because you’ve changed, and that’s why you can’t feel the way you want to feel.”

That had hi
s attention and horrified him “Hell yes, I still love them! She’s my everything in life, and the mother of my children. I fell in love with her the second I met her, and I never stopped feeling that way. As for my brother, he’s part of us and I can’t repay him for what he’s done for our family. I love him to my bones and trust him completely.”

The way Ethan responded told her everything that she needed to know. When his eyes filled with so much emotion, she knew how hard he was struggling.

“Ethan, I need you to repeat after me. I was abducted and tortured, and it was no one’s fault but the killer’s.”