Contessa (85 page)

“
Olivia?
”

“
It won
’
t happen again,
”
I copy Jon
’
s response, crossing my arms.
“
Are we done?
”
I ask.

“
Not exactly,
”
Jon says, his eyes on fire, his posture determined. I didn
’
t expect
him
to be the one to extend our conversation.
“
I wanted to talk to your dad about the money.
”
My boyfriend and father continue to look at each other from across the room.

“
What money?
”
I ask him, watching my dad
’
s expression closely.

“
The financial assistance they offered for me to go to Columbia,
”
he says plainly.

I hope for the best.
“
So he
did
offer you help?
”
I ask in surprise.

“
You
told
me he was going to,
”
Jon starts, suddenly cautious.
“
Was that a lie?
”

“
No–
”
Yes
.

“
What are you talking about?
”
Dad asks.

“
Olivia said you wanted to help pay my way through college. I came here today to tell you that I appreciate it, but I don
’
t want your help.
”

“
Why not?
”
I ask him, hoping beyond hope that my dad will drop it. I know he won
’
t, and realize I
’
m just delaying the inevitable.

“
Why not?!
”
he throws the question back at me.
“
I don
’
t want to owe your family anything.
”

“
You wouldn
’
t.
”
I avoid the stare I can feel boring into me from across the room.

Jon continues before my dad can answer.
“
And I certainly don
’
t want to answer to him about my grades, my attendance, or what courses I take. I could never handle that type of pressure. And what if we break up?
”

That
’
s something I
’
d never even considered. It hurts to think that he has.

“
But–
”

“
Interesting,
”
my dad says, shifting his focus to me.
“
Jon, I
’
m sorry. Can you excuse me and Livvy for a minute?
”

“
Sure,
”
he says, getting up abruptly.
“
I
’
ll be in the basement.
”

“
What is this, Livvy? You told him we
’
d pay for his college? Where did you get that idea?
”

“
You want him to go,
”
I say softly.
“
You said so yourself.
”

“
Sure we do, but he
’
s got to find his way, Liv. I
’
m not just going to hand out cash to your current boyfriends anytime they need money–
”

“
What do you mean, my
‘
current boyfriends,
’
Dad? I only have one. He
’
s it, and he wants to marry me someday.
”
At least I thought he did.
“
And don
’
t you want what
’
s best for me?
”

“
I sure do. I want what
’
s best for
you
. And right now, I
’
m not too sure he is. You
’
re lying to me now, drinking, lying to
him
... where
’
s my little Contessa? Where
’
s the good girl I raised?
”

“
I
’
m right here, Dad. This is ridiculous. I
’
m not your little Contessa anymore! I
’
m lying to you because your rules are beyond stupid.
”

“
Really mature, Liv–
”
he interjects.

“
They
’
re stifling me! You
’
re not allowing me to grow up! I
’
m
not
your little girl anymore. I never wanted to be your little girl in the first place–
”

“
Olivia!
”
my mom comes into the room abruptly. I guess she had been in Trey
’
s room all this time.
“
Watch what you say–
”
She stands united with my dad, her hand on his tense forearm.

“
I
know
what I
’
m saying. You just wanted some little puppet to control, Jack. You never wanted someone who might actually grow up into an adult someday!
”

“
Olivia Sophia,
”
he says,
“
I
’
m your father. Do
not
call me by my first name.
”

“
Why not,
Jack
? You
’
re
not
my dad. And if I could choose, I
never
would have picked you!
”

“
And who would you have picked?
”
he asks as he stares at me in disbelief.
“
I wasn
’
t aware there were options.
”

“
Jacks–
”
Mom starts to warn him, squeezing his arm.

“
Nate would have been a much better father for me,
”
I tell him. My mother quickly lets go of him, covering her mouth with her hands. She watches for his reaction.
“
He would have understood me. You never will. You don
’
t even try.
”

He stares back at me with contempt, anger. His lips barely trembling, his voice shaky, he speaks swiftly.
“
Go to your room, Livvy.
”

“
Jack,
”
Mom says as she gently puts her hand on his back.

He turns away from me quickly, unaware of my defiant stance that is losing confidence by the millisecond as I realize what I
’
ve done.

I
’
ve made my dad cry. A lump grows in my throat as I watch him walk into the dining room toward the bar. My mom follows him, a soft apology escaping her lips, barely audible to me.

I start to obey his order and go to my room–actually, to go to Jon–until I hear Dad confront my mother.
“
I blame you for this. And Donna.
”
I stand frozen in the hallway in front of Trey
’
s closed door, listening to my parents fight, hoping that my brother can
’
t hear.
“
You two have always put him on a pedestal, idolized him. You
’
ve made him into some distorted hero she worships. I thought we left all of this behind, Emi! How is it that thirteen years later we are still fighting about this man!?
”

“
Maybe because you just won
’
t let it go–
”
My mom
’
s demure tone is gone as his becomes more and more accusatory.

“
I
won
’
t let it go? How do you think it makes me feel to hear you say she takes after him, with her art? They never even existed in the same world! How the hell could she take after him!? He
’
s had no role in her upbringing!
”

I feel Jon brush up against me in the foyer.

“
I never meant it like that!
”
I can hear the tears in Mom
’
s raised voice.

“
I have no common ground with her, and you don
’
t make that any easier–
”

“
I try!
”

“
No, you
don
’
t
! You
’
re constantly highlighting all the ways that
they
’
re
similar. I don
’
t understand.
”

“
Jacks, I
’
m sorry,
”
she pleads.

“
Sometimes I think you forget that she
’
s
our
child, and not the one you conceived with
him
.
”
I stop breathing. Silence settles over the whole house for what seems like eternity, but in truth, is only seconds.

“
Screw you, Jack,
”
my mother says on her way out of the dining room. Her eyes meet mine briefly as tears fall down her cheeks.

“
Mom?
”

“
Livvy, go to your room!
”
she yells at me on her way up the stairs.
“
Jon, you should go.
”

“
I
’
m going,
”
he says as he reaches for the door handle. I follow him outside.
“
Get back inside, Liv.
”

“
I want to explain–
”

“
I don
’
t want to hear it! Do you see what you
’
ve done?
”

I can
’
t hold in the tears that have been choking me for the last five minutes any longer.
“
Wait,
”
I cry to him, grabbing his arm. He pulls away quickly and walks further down the walk.
“
Jon, wait!
”

“
You should be ashamed of yourself,
”
he says, turning around and making an aggressive move toward me. I step back, unsure, having never seen him this upset before.
“
I
’
m embarrassed for you.
”

“
Why? Why are you mad at me? I don
’
t understand.
”

“
You don
’
t
understand
? What do you possibly not understand? We
’
re
never
going to be together, Liv. And it
’
s all your fault. And frankly, I don
’
t know if I even want to be with you any more–
”

“
Don
’
t say that, Jon. We will be together.
”

“
How? How is this going to work? Your dad now believes I
’
m a liar. That my sole purpose on this planet is to defile his little girl because
you
can
’
t keep our private matters between us.
”

“
I
’
m sorry!
”

“
The
hell
you are!
”
he says.
“
And you lied and told him only I was drinking? Thanks, Liv. Thanks for looking out for
me
. You
’
re just a selfish little girl. You don
’
t care about anyone around you.
”