Control Me (15 page)

“Everything alright?” he asked.

I looked up at him, my eyes glossy. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. Shout. I wanted to ask him so many questions, but the words of that man only haunted me. I knew I couldn’t screw this up. I knew I had to go, and I had to go immediately.

But the unexpected happened. My hand lifted in the air and the palm of it slammed across his face. It happened faster than I could react. My eyes stung with tears; my body trembled violently. I’d hurt him, but he’d also hurt me. First, I see the picture of him with some woman who he clearly loved, and then I get snatched up and thrown into a van—threatened to stay away from him. Who the hell was this man? What the hell had I gotten myself into?

All the signs should’ve been clear to me. This was why he’d put a limit on us. He knew those men were watching. He knew, and he didn’t even tell me. Did he also know my life would be on the line? Those men… they weren’t kidding. Not one bit.

“Mya!” he barked, scowling. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Fuck you,” I spat. I turned from him and rushed through the yard. Carlos called after me, but I didn’t look back. I heard the grass rustling behind me, so I ran. I pushed through the gate and rounded the house. Once I hit the driveway, I ran even faster. My line of sight was blurry. I could hardly see where I was going, but I continued forward.

I finally reached the front gates, but Carlos shouted, “Don’t let her out!” to the security guard. I yanked on the gates, grunting as I used all my strength, but the iron bars didn’t budge.

“Mya,” Carlos breathed, finally reaching me.

“What?!” I shouted, backing away. “What the hell do you want from me?”

He blinked quickly, stunned. “What do you mean what do I want? We’re spending the day together. That’s what we arranged.”

“Yeah, well that was before I was snatched up and tossed into a van. That was before my life was threatened!”

“What?” he spat. “What are you talking about?”

“Those guys… those three guys in suits! They threatened me. One came into the house. He said if I didn’t leave you alone my life and yours would be in danger!”

“The men that you saw come to my office?” he asked quickly.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“They threatened you?” he asked, as if he were stunned.

“Yes, Carlos! What do they want? Why are they watching you, and why the hell are they watching me?”

He blinked and then looked over my shoulder. His eyes froze on something, and his face went bleak. I looked with him, and just as my eyes landed on the black van parked less than a yard away, my heart thundered. The doors of the van slid open, and the three men climbed out with guns in hand out as they marched our way.

“Oh God,” I whispered, backing away.

I glanced up at Carlos, but his face was solid. Frozen. Then, I realized Carlos had no idea these men were a threat. It was obvious. It was all over his face. It was as if he trusted these men, but everything was now coming to light. It was all registering; whatever he hadn’t realized about them before was finally coming to.

These men weren’t his friends.

These men were dangerous.

“Carlos Montero.” One of the men sang his name, tapping his gun against the wrought-iron gate. “Let’s not make this difficult. Give us the girl, and we’ll pretend this never happened.”

His nostrils flared, but he didn’t dare say a word.

The men took it as a challenge, lifting their guns. I yelped, backing away.

“Ah… let’s not forget about Mommy and Sissy. We don’t want anything happening to them over a girl you’ve just met, do we?”

Carlos rushed towards the gates and yanked them open, throwing his fist into the man’s face. The man fell, but the other two rushed for Carlos, gripping his arms and shoving him back. “Get off me!” he barked, yanking away. Then, he looked at me, and for a moment, I caught the defeat in his eyes. But in a matter of seconds, it was gone. He blinked it away and said, “Don’t worry about her. She was just leaving. We’re done.”

My heart failed to beat. I wanted to say something, but all I could do was watch him turn his back to me and make his way back towards his house. I watched him until he disappeared, then I dropped my gaze, swiping at my tears.

“It was nice meeting you, Miss Sterling,” the man with the blue eyes said. He pulled himself together, and the trio made their way back to the van. Once they were inside, it skidded off, and this time I knew they were gone for good.

A black Lincoln pulled up to the gates, and realizing it was Isaac, I rushed towards the car and hopped in the backseat. I slammed the door shut behind me, still twisted and screwed inside about what just happened—still fucked up about what Carlos said about me.
Don’t worry about her? We’re done?
Only seconds ago he wanted me to stay a few hours longer.

Isaac pulled out and drove away, but before he could make the turn, I looked towards Carlos’s mansion. In his bedroom window, I saw the figure of the man I’d spent four incredible days with. He was there, right there, watching me leave.

I hated him. I hated this feeling, but I had to admit that this was supposed to end long ago. I wasn’t even supposed to be here. I agreed to the arrangement, and now it was settled. Now, it was done.

I had so many unanswered questions racking my brain, but I knew they would go unanswered because I would never see him again. I
couldn’t
see him again. Not after today. Not after he just tossed me away like I was a piece of trash.

But at least I figured a few things out about him. I found out he’s not the perfect man I thought he was, and that I was right about him having skulls, or entire skeletons, in his closet. He probably had more than he could count… and like a fool, I pretended he didn’t.

I wanted more, but I had to accept the fact that things between Carlos and me were over. After what’d just happened, I should’ve been grateful, but deep down, I was hurting.

Book 2 of the Control Series,
Release Me
, will be releasing February 10
th
, 2015.

Until then, enjoy this sneak peek of
Release Me
!

FEARS

“What the hell are you doing here?”

That question had haunted me for months after I’d been asked. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Well, actually I take that back. I knew exactly what I was doing. I had it all planned out, but I wasn’t sure why.

I thought after Terry had cheated on me that I’d be over him for good and that I’d no longer want anything to do with him. I was wrong. The truth was I wanted him more than ever. After only a week I began to miss him like crazy. I craved his touch, his voice… everything about him. I wanted him next to me every night, talking to me until the sun came up like we used to before he traveled to Spain and everything went to shit. I just wanted him back in my life. I was lonely and terrified of a future without him.

There I stood in the skimpiest dress I could find in my wardrobe. It was strapless, stopped just beneath my butt, and extremely tight. It was quite uncomfortable considering I’d gained a few pounds since our break up but as long as I could breathe in it I was fine. I didn’t care. I wanted to look hot for him. I wanted him to want me all over again. I wanted his eyes to sparkle while looking at me like they did when we’d first met.

I’d heard Terry was back in town through Bethany, his stepsister. Of course I pretended I didn’t care that he was back and she was happy to see I was trying to move on, but inside every single nerve in my body seemed to spark. I wanted to see him again. The lonely nights without him were killing me. It’d gotten so bad that I begged Claire to move in with me as soon as her lease was up.

I was standing outside Terry’s hotel on North State Street. It was a busy night downtown because it was the night before Christmas. All the last minute shoppers were scuttling about, rushing back and forth and in and out of all the small boutiques and stores of Chicago. I squeezed the present wrapped in green foil in my hands and smiled as I stared up at the hotel. Since I’d kicked him out and threw all of his clothes on his mom’s porch he was staying here for a while. His stepsister told me. We were still surprisingly close even though at first she hated my guts because he was four years older than me and thought he deserved better. She was older than him and very protective of him for a while.

It was cold out, and like an idiot the only thing I wore over my trashy dress was a black pea coat buttoned up to my chest and extremely high heels I could hardly walk in. But I felt this was necessary. I mean, he was staying in a hotel. We could make up and talk things through. I would forgive him for his mistakes because… well, because I just wanted him back in my life. I was tired of being alone.

With the thought of that I drew in a deep breath and marched forward. I wasn’t sure what room he was staying in so after asking the clerk at the desk, I was on my way up the elevator with the widest grin on my face. I shouldn’t have been so happy. Terry wasn’t innocent and I really didn’t know how he’d react to seeing me, but for some reason I figured he’d be happy to see my face. After all it was the night before Christmas. Who wasn’t happy on Christmas Eve?

I finally made it to floor seven. I walked out with my head held high and the present tight in my hands. Once I reached door 719, I shook my head, drew in a deep breath and exhaled, and then knocked. Footsteps started a moment later and then I heard Terry say, “Hold on. It could be housekeeping.”

A smile appeared on my face as I heard his voice. It made me tingle, that is until I heard a woman’s voice ask, “Why would housekeeping be here at ten o’ clock at night?”

My face stiffened and I wanted to bolt, but it was too late. Before I could make any sudden movements, the door swung open and Terry stared at me with his big grey eyes. His dress shirt was unbuttoned, revealing his broad chest—the chest I used to love to sleep on—and his dress pants were unzipped, proving that he was about to get down to business.

I blinked rapidly, and all of a sudden my throat seemed to close in. I had so much I wanted to say, but at this moment, as he looked at me, I realized there was nothing I could say. I felt like a fool for being here.

“Mya,” Terry hissed. He glanced over his shoulder quickly then stepped out, making sure the doorstopper didn’t cause the door to shut completely. “Mya, what the hell are you doing here?” he asked as I took a step back.

“I—I…” I couldn’t help my stutter. What the hell was I supposed to say? Oh, I just showed up to forgive you and then make love with you… the perfect evening.

“Look, you gotta get the hell outta here? How did you even know where I was?”

“Bethany,” I said. I could say that. I wanted him to know his sister and I still talked from time to time—even more so since I found him in bed with another woman.

He shook his head. “You need to leave. I have company.”

I frowned, finally revealing some kind of emotion. “I see that but I came to talk to you.”

He gave me a dry laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Uh, I’m not sure if you can tell, but this isn’t the best time to talk.”

“Well, maybe we can talk tomorrow.”

“I’ll be with my family tomorrow. It’s Christmas, Mya.” After he said that the woman in his room called his name and then told him to hurry. Her voice was purposely seductive. I hated hearing it.

“I have to go,” he said.

“Okay,” I said. “Um… I bought you something. It’s a gift I promised I’d get you a while back. I finally saved enough for it.”

Terry shook his head. “Keep it, Mya. You need your money.”

“I need you,” I whispered before I even realized it.

His eyes stretched for a brief moment, and then he narrowed them. “Mya… what’s going on here?”

“I miss you, Terry. We can make this work,” I said, dropping the present and rushing towards him. I draped my arms around his neck and his back hit the wall. I started to strip out of my pea coat but he grunted and shoved me back, his grimace deep.

“What the fuck? Are you crazy?” he hissed. He glanced over his shoulder quickly then back at me. My eyes expanded. I was shocked and confused. “I didn’t call you once, Mya. I didn’t try and get in contact with you at all after you left. I’ve been back from Spain for two months now. Do you not get the point?”

“W-what are you trying to say?” I asked. My eyes were glistening. I could barely contain myself. I knew what he was going to say and hearing him say it made my heart shatter.

“I’m not in love with you anymore, Mya. I’ve moved on and so should you. Now go home and please don’t come back here.” And with that, he turned his back to me and stepped back into the hotel room with the unknown woman. The door slammed in my face and I stood there motionless.

I felt broken. Hurt.

I stared down at the present I spent nearly three hundred dollars on and once a tear fell and landed on it, I turned and walked away. I left the present there. It was a Michael Kors watch he could never stop talking about. No matter what he said about me needing my money, I wanted him to keep it. I wanted him to see it and maybe change his mind.

Although my heart was broken I still had hope. I wanted him to think things through and come back to me. I told myself on my way home that he didn’t mean what he said—that he was just in a moment.

But after months of hearing nothing from here and also hearing from Bethany that he returned the watch himself, I knew he’d really moved on. I was no longer wanted. I was alone and I feared that so much—so much that I had to start therapy again in order to control myself.

Because of Terry that fear of being alone haunted me for months, and since Carlos and I were no longer seeing each other it was slowly but surely creeping back into my life and I didn’t know what the hell to do about it.

WORTH IT

I was defeated on my flight back home. I’d been let down plenty of times before but this time it just felt foul. With Terry there was a hole in my chest that lingered for months, but with Carlos there was this tiny scratch on my heart that I knew would soon be healed but not for a very long time. The heart was sensitive. Any kind of scar was painful. We’d only spent four days together, but those were the most magical four days of my life.

I wasn’t quite sure what to do or think. For a while, as I sat at the airport, I debated going back to Carlos’s place and setting things straight. I wanted answers. I wanted
him
. We weren’t done. Our time was cut short by three men that I knew nothing about, but apparently they knew everything about me as well as Carlos. I wanted to say to hell with those fuckers and run back into his arms. I wanted to tell him to run away with me, but of course that was just me. I was a bit theatrical, I admit, but I felt I needed to be. Carlos and I clicked in a way. We were still getting to know each other and if those men hadn’t come we could’ve finished our day off right.

But then I thought about the picture on his dresser—the woman he was kissing so passionately. Carlos kissed me with some passion, but in that photo I could see the sparks flying. I could almost
feel
the love. He loved her, and I wondered what’d happened to her. Maybe he’d never left her. Maybe they were just taking a break and he was using me to get over his single life—bury it for good. Maybe, after he was done with me, he was going to go back to her. Maybe that’s why I had a time limit.

But what about Marilyn? Seriously, there was so much shit going on that I realized I couldn’t go back. There was a sticky web surrounding Carlos and I refused to get tangled up in it. After realizing that on my flight, I knew I had to stay away. Four days was nothing. He wasn’t worth it.

I was proud of myself for thinking that way, but I knew it wouldn’t last long. The terrible thing about it was I knew myself. I knew once the memories were to surface I’d want Carlos next to me all over again. I knew I’d will myself to forget all about the lies and that crazy, sticky web surrounding him just to spend time with him. I liked Carlos… a lot. I had a good time in San Francisco. Although we spent more time touching, groping—fucking—I felt the connection.

Those issues I had… well, this was the problem. Whenever I got too close to someone I wanted to stay close. Whenever I got to know someone—especially someone I liked—I wanted that person around for a very long time. I was clingy and I also could be downright crazy whenever I couldn’t have my way. As soon as those memories were to start I just knew I’d find any kind of way to be around Carlos Montero again… and frankly I feared that.

I was finally home. I sighed and my bags hit the floor with a heavy thunk, which, of course, caused Claire to come rushing around the corner.

“Mya!” she shouted.

“Hey Claire Bear,” I sang.

As soon as she met up to me she wrapped me in her arms and squealed. Then, just as quickly as she pulled me in, she yanked away and scowled, crossing her arms. “You do realize I’m absolutely pissed at you, right?”

I forced a laugh and walked around her. After plopping down in my favorite leather recliner I said, “You sure? I can’t tell by the way you just squealed like a banshee while squeezing me.”

“Oh, whatever. I called and text you so many times!” She took a seat on the love seat across from me. For a few seconds she stared at me, but I purposely avoided her eyes by messing with my fingernails. “So?” she asked impatiently. “What happened over there that was obviously more important than filling your only best friend in?”

I glanced up. “Oh…” I shrugged. “It was nothing. We ate some dinner. Did the deed a few times. Nothing major.”

She gave me a doubtful glare. “Yeah,” she scoffed. “I don’t believe that one bit. Carlos called me for the size of your clothes, shoes, bra size—everything.”

I sat forward in my seat, meeting her eyes. “What else did he call about?”

She blinked quickly. “What do mean?”

This time it was my turn to give her a glare. “Don’t play dumb, Claire. Carlos told me he called you about…” I paused, debating on how to explain. “About Terry,” I whispered, as if someone else could hear us.

“Oh. Right… I didn’t think he’d actually tell you that I told.” She winced. “You aren’t upset about it, are you? I held out for as long as I could but he threatened that he’d just hire someone to look into your background for him. I didn’t want that. I’d rather him hear it from someone that actually knows you and the whole story than someone that’ll make you seem…
crazy
.” She whispered the last word.

“Well, what all did you tell him?” I asked.

“I just told him that you and Terry were very close and how you’d been with him for a few years and was planning on marrying him. I also told him about Spain.” She winced again, her cheeks turning a bright red.

“It’s okay, Claire. I mean it’s not like I’m gonna see him again anyway.”

Her head tilted. “What do you mean? You guys didn’t work anything out?”

“It’s not that I didn’t want to… it was all him.” I chewed on my bottom lip, biting back my emotion. “Let’s just say things got a little complicated.”

“Oh no,” she said, her eyes wide. “Oh jeez, Mya, please don’t tell me you went… there with him?”

“No!” My voice was abrupt, which made Claire press her lips and shake her head in shame. I lowered my head, staring down at the floor. “I mean… I didn’t mean to. I tried so hard to stay strong and maintain control like you and Dr. Grace taught me but… I just couldn’t with him.” I looked up. “Claire, I wanted to be around him so much and I’m not sure why.”