Convenience and Compatibility (23 page)

We down our drinks quickly and make a dash
for the door. We can tell that some boys are trying to muster up
the courage to come over to the table. Out of the two of us, Tara
is the attractive one and gets hit on all the time. I find it
annoying, but am also a little jealous.

It’s nearly five when I pull into the garage.
Dean is sitting in the living room watching a show on sharks. He
puts it on mute when I walk in.

“Hi.”

“Hi yourself. Did you have fun?”

“I did. Sorry you didn’t see my note. I was
going to text you but I didn’t want to bother you.”

“It’s okay. I know I’m being too sensitive
about it. I’m sorry.”

I put my purse down and walk in front of
Dean, blocking his view of the TV.

“Nothing to be sorry about. Do you like my
nails?”

Dean pretends to ohh and ahh like a nail
connoisseur and I sit on his lap; straddling him. “You’re funny.
What do you want to do for dinner?”

“I was going to make a drink and then make
something. But I can tell you have already had some drinks?”

“Just one. I went to happy hour with
Tara.”

“Oh really?”

“Yea, last minute I invited her to come with
me.”

“That’s nice.” Dean is looking at my lips and
puts his hand behind my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. His kisses
are small and tender. He trails them down my jaw to my ear and
sucks on my earlobe. Why are earlobes so sensitive? I feel goose
bumps erupt on my arms and legs and groan softly. This is
definitely an erogenous zone for me. Dean’s other hand moves under
my shirt and fondles my breast on top of my bra.

Dean pulls away. “Let’s go upstairs.”

“What about dinner?” I smile at him.

“Fuck dinner.” My grin widens. I like how he
thinks.

I stand up and Dean takes my hand, guiding me
to the bedroom. We get there and I slip my shoes off and remove the
rest of my clothes while watching Dean do the same. He climbs under
the covers and I follow his lead.

Dean pulls me on top of him and we kiss
innocently at first. He holds me tight with his arms around my back
and rolls me over so he is on top.

He stops kissing me and looks into my eyes.
Moving his hand between my legs, he raises his eyebrows in surprise
when he sees how wet I am. I shrug a little – what does he
expect?

Dean’s gaze is intense, but I hold it as he
moves his hand back and forth, slipping a finger inside to bring
the wetness to my swollen clit. He rubs, watching my face as I feel
myself getting closer and closer to orgasm. My breathing is more of
a pant now and I try to pull Dean’s hand away. For some reason I’m
shy about him watching me come.

Dean shakes his head and continues. I bury my
head in his chest to muffle my cries of pleasure as I come. I lift
my head after coming down from my high and Dean is still looking at
me. I suddenly feel so vulnerable and close to him at the same
time. I’m not good at looking sexy, but I try to give him a look
that says fuck me. Fuck me now.

Dean puts his body between my legs and guides
his dick into me. I gasp at the sudden intrusion to my body as he
starts pumping into me furiously and seems close within
seconds.

“I’m going to come.” He says through gritted
teeth.

“Okay.” I’m a little in shock that he’s
coming so fast and feel a little short changed again.

Dean spills into me and calls my name, making
me feel both loved and wanted and I feel bad at my previous
thought. He falls down next to me and pulls me close.

We lay there for a while, wrapped in each
other’s arms, until my stomach breaks the mood by growling. Dean
moves away and raises his eyebrows.

“Was that you or me?”

“It was me. Let’s go eat.”

Dean grills some steak and
makes a
steak salad while I drink my wine and watch from the warmth of the
kitchen bar. We’re eating dinner at the table and the effects of
the wine hit me – I think I’m slightly drunk.

“When do you want to get married?” I’m sure
that my parents will ask again this Saturday, and I don’t want to
seem like I’m not serious about it.

“In the Fall? We could have an Autumn
wedding. What do you think?”

“Sounds perfect, but we need to steer clear
of any date around Adam and Tara’s wedding.”

“Okay. I really love spending time with you.”
Dean leans over and kisses me. “I feel really lucky.”

“I feel the same way about you.”

“What do you want to do tonight?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have to work tomorrow,
so I can be up late.”

“You work too much Mallory.”

“I know. I signed up for these shifts before
I knew we were going to spend all our time together. This is the
last week, and then I’ll go back to my three day a week
rotation.”

“Good. I can’t wait.”

“But didn’t you say that you have to work
more now?”

“True, but I’ll be done by three-thirty every
day.”

I nod. “And that’s tomorrow too?”

“Yea, sorry. Maybe we shouldn’t have a late
night.”

“Okay.” I look down and pick at my food,
trying to hide my disappointment.

“Why don’t you go out tonight with Tara?”

“No, I’d rather stay home with you.” I don’t
mention that being with Tara is a crap-shoot. You never know if she
will be positive, neutral, or negative about Dean. I can only take
so much of her lately. I don’t want to press my luck before the
birthday party on Friday.

Dean and I watch a movie and go to bed before
ten. Part of me feels like an old married couple already. When I
wake up in the morning, I’m not surprised that Dean is not in bed.
I open the curtains and see another gray, rainy day. How
depressing.

I throw on Dean’s robe and go down to the
study. The door is open this time and I walk in and sit on the
sofa. Dean looks deep in thought so I sit quietly watching him
until he addresses me.

After a couple of minutes he glances up at me
- distracted. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” I smile back.

“I can’t really talk right now.”

“Okay.” I get up and leave. I feel like a
small child being dismissed. I’m making breakfast when my phone
rings – I don’t recognize the number and figure it’s probably work.
Sure enough it’s Jasmine asking if I want to come in to work – they
need some extra help. I consider asking Dean, but know he’s going
to be busy all day, and tell her yes.

I scarf down my breakfast and run upstairs to
get dressed. I put on my teal scrubs and put my hair in a ponytail.
I consider texting Dean, but instead I stand in the door of his
study. He looks the same as before breakfast – but more stressed.
Dean doesn’t look up and so I just walk away. I don’t think he even
noticed me. I write him a note, put it on the counter, and leave
for work.

I drive to the hospital feeling a little
annoyed that Dean is ignoring me this morning. But then I remind
myself that I would probably treat him the same way if he came to
my work and wanted to talk with me. I try to push thoughts of Dean
from my mind, knowing I need to focus on my work ahead. More than
likely, I will hit the ground running.

As soon as I get to work, I regret my
decision to be there. The floor has a combative patient that I am
now responsible for. I go into his room and there are five people
crowded around the small space. The doctor has ordered restraints
and it takes all of us to get him in them, not before he knocks a
couple of us down. Later I sit in his room charting, as I hold an
ice pack to my cheek – I’m sure there will be a bruise come
tomorrow.

The day goes by quickly and the patient
improves after getting some fluids and Benzodiazepines. Work comes
to an end and I’m sad that Dean won’t be meeting me after work. I
look at my phone and see that he has called me once. I’m too tired
to listen, and drive home, excited to spend the evening with
him.

Chapter 16

I pull into the garage and walk up to the
living room. I throw my bag on a table and look up to see Dean
standing by the sofa, an odd look on his face. I’m about to ask him
about it when he looks down and I follow his gaze to a young blond.
She’s beautiful, thin, and tan – reminds me of the kind of girl you
would find living on Sorority row. I stop short and look back to
Dean, confused. What the fuck? Could this day get any worse?

“Mallory, this is Amanda.”

I look to Amanda but don’t say anything.
Seconds pass like minutes and I realize that I need to do
something. I can’t just stand here dumbfounded. But what does Dean
expect, that I’m going to welcome his ex-girlfriend here?

“What happened to your face Mallory?”

I look back to Dean and show no emotion as I
turn and walk upstairs. I walk into the bathroom and lock the door
behind me. He’d better get her the fuck out of here. I start the
shower and look in the mirror. My cheekbone is still red and
starting to turn purple. I frown, knowing it will look worse
tomorrow. I get in the shower and let the water run down me, trying
to forget about my horrible day.

I’m drying off in the bedroom when Dean walks
in and sits down on the bed. He runs his hand through his hair and
looks down at his hands. I ignore him and find a nightie in the
closet and slip it on. I walk past him and he grabs my hand.

“Mallory.”

I look into his eyes and wait for him to
continue – daring him to talk himself out of this one.

Dean pulls me close and I don’t resist. He
hugs me tight to him and I wonder now if his day was worse than
mine. Dean pulls away and frowns as he touches my cheek gently. He
looks like he is about to cry and I don’t know why – I feel
helpless. I’ve forgotten my anger and I’m now open to hear what he
wants to say. Instead of talking Dean pulls me tighter and sobs
quietly on my neck.

I stroke his hair and his back, waiting for
him to open up to me. We are like this for a long time, long enough
that my legs are getting tired.

Dean composes himself and looks into my eyes.
“I need to tell you something.”

My stomach drops to the floor and I know it’s
bad. Dean takes my hand and we go downstairs where he pours us each
a glass of wine. I’m relieved that his bitch ex-girlfriend has
left. He grabs a throw from the sofa and puts it around me. He
opens the patio door and we sit in the chaise loungers facing the
lawn.

I sip my wine, watching the rain silently
drip from a small hole in a downspout, and wait for Dean to
start.

“Remember I told you that Amanda was trying
to see me?”

I nod and Dean continues.

“She showed up tonight and told me we have a
child together.”

Dean pauses and I lean back in the lounger.
Suddenly I’m sick to my stomach and am glad that I haven’t had any
dinner because I really think I would throw up.

“I guess she was pregnant when we broke up,
and then the accident happened and she never told my parents.”

I watch the water drip, not wanting to look
at Dean, not wanting to hear any more.

“She’s two and a half and has curly blond
hair. Her name is Erica.”

I don’t want to hear this. I don’t want to
know anything else. I imagine walking inside the house and packing
up my belongings and leaving. I tell myself that it’s not Dean’s
fault, but I’m still mad at him and the situation. All of our plans
for our life together mean shit now. I’m not sure I can handle
this.

“Mallory, say something.”

I take a sip of wine and continue to look out
at the yard. “How do you know it’s yours? I thought you only used
condoms with her.”

“Condoms aren’t completely reliable. And I
saw a picture… she looks like me.”

Any hope I had that the child wasn’t Dean’s
have now been crushed. I feel the tears welling up in my eyes and
dripping down my face. I swallow the rest of my wine in two gulps
and can feel Dean’s eyes on me. I don’t look at him as I walk
inside the house and up the stairs. I turn off the lights and climb
into bed. I know that Dean needs me and I’m being a selfish bitch,
but I don’t care.

I pull the covers over my head and can feel
the wine kicking in as I give myself over to sleep.

When I wake up at
five forty-five Dean
is missing from bed. I sit up and remember about last night and any
hopes for a good day have been crushed. I feel Dean’s side of the
bed and it is still warm so that is a good sign. I climb out of bed
and throw some scrubs and makeup on and walk downstairs.

Dean is making coffee at the counter and
pushes my travel cup towards me without looking up – he made me
tea.

“Thanks.”

I open the fridge and pull out some eggs. “Do
you want some?”

Dean shakes his head and I fry my eggs. My
mouth is dry and my stomach feels hollow. I’m not sure how I’m
going to put anything in me, but know I will pass out at work if I
don’t.

I sit down at the table to eat and Dean
surprises me by sitting down with me. We silently look at each
other and I notice that his eyes are red and puffy with bags under
them. I feel bad looking at his face – he must have had a really
bad night, and my behavior didn’t help anything.

Dean sighs. “Where do we go from here
Mallory?”

“I’m not sure Dean. Any suggestions?”

“I don’t know. I’m kind of reeling from all
this. To make matters worse, I’ve had a couple of bad days of
work.”

I look at Dean, not wanting to get into a
deep conversation before work, but I wonder if he means that he
lost money.

“What happened to your face?”

“A patient hit me.”

“I’m so sorry, it looks like it hurt.”

I want to say that it was nothing compared to
the hurt I felt after I got home from work, but I keep silent and
finish making my eggs.

“Listen Dean, I’m going to go home after work
tonight. I think you have some things to work out alone.”