Convergence (46 page)

TWENTY-FOUR

Jowi felt more rested by the time they got back to the residence, which meant her annoyance was harder to control. Beldara Lant flounced off to her room without a single word to anyone, determined to stick to her beliefs or die trying. And without the men the house sounded almost empty, which reminded Jowi that they were out having a good time. She would have enjoyed doing the same, but not without a guide who knew which areas to avoid. At least Tamrissa had been honest enough to admit she knew nothing about the city where partying was concerned . . .

And thinking about Tamrissa, Jowi saw her heading for the small library after gesturing that Jowi should follow. The girl had mentioned something about a secret she wanted to share, and Jowi really was curious. The secret wasn't likely to be anything really forbidden like bramleaf juice or holban resin, not when those two drugs left their mark clearly on users. Tamrissa wasn't a drug user, despite the extreme pain Jowi could sometimes feel inside her.

So Jowi followed her hostess into the library, where Tamrissa rang for tea. The service was brought rather quickly, and Tamrissa took a moment to ask the serving girl to tell the cook that the men probably would be absent for dinner. Then she closed the door behind the girl, and turned to Jowi with a smile.

"Let's fix ourselves cups of tea, just in case Cook decides to come by raging and crying," she said. "If it's still quiet once the tea is ready to drink, it will be safe to bring out my hidden treasure."

Jowi laughed, liking the way Tamrissa was trying to provide an adventure for her,
then
joined her in pouring and sweetening cups of tea. It didn't take long, of course, but apparently it took just long enough.

"If Cook were coming, he would be here by now," Tamrissa said, turning to give Jowi a look like an eager child. "The coast is therefore clear, so make yourself comfortable while I fetch the treasure."

Jowi took her cup to the table between a pair of leather-covered chairs, put her purse and hat on the table as well,
then
followed instructions about making herself comfortable in one of the chairs. Tamrissa had gone to one of the bookshelves and removed two of the books, then reached in behind them. What she withdrew was a small leather-covered box in red, the sort which usually held writing paper of good quality. The two books were returned to their places on the shelf, but the box was carried over to where Jowi sat.

"You must promise never to tell anyone about this," Tamrissa said, not yet opening the box. "I bought it the day after my husband
died,
using some of the gold he kept in there. If any of the others find out they'll expect to share it, and I no longer have the gold to replace it. It's horribly expensive, but I think you'll agree it's worth the price."

"Good grief, girl, what is it?" Jowi couldn't help demanding. "Diamonds would fit in that box, but I can't imagine people expecting to share them. Beyond that I can't think of a single—"

Jowi's words ended abruptly when Tamrissa opened the box, showing something that Jowi had heard about but had never tried. It was something the nobility most often kept to
themselves
, paying outrageous sums which even many merchants couldn't afford to match. It really was a treasure, and it was—

"Chocolate," Tamrissa said with a smile for the stunned expression Jowi certainly wore. "Someone brought a tiny amount to Gimmis once, trying to bribe him somehow in relation to some business deal. My husband was rather narrow and uneducated, so he had no idea what it was. After he threw the man out, he tossed the gift into the trash without giving it a second look. I rescued it when he went for his nap, and ate every bit of it myself. He eventually found out what it was and cursed himself for throwing away a small fortune, never guessing it hadn't been wasted after all. Try a piece."

Jowi
hesitated
only an instant, politeness quickly falling under the wheels of driving curiosity. A patron of hers had once promised to bring chocolate as a gift, but he'd never returned after making the promise. She'd heard later that he'd killed himself after losing his fortune to gambling and fast living . . .

But the uneven chunk of brown stickiness was now between her fingers, and Jowi could wait no longer. She brought it to her lips and licked it gently, then took a very small bite. Pleasure exploded against her taste buds as the tiny bite melted along her tongue, spreading indescribable ecstasy all through her. She hummed a little with the delight of it, and the sound came out like a moan. It was marvelous, well beyond anything
She
could have imagined, and she meant to savor every small crumb and smear of it.

"Don't be ashamed to lick your fingers when the rest is gone," Tamrissa said with a laugh, having taken the other chair after helping herself to her own small chunk. "I always do, and I don't care how unladylike it's supposed to be. Letting any of this go to waste would be worse than a crime against humanity."

"Yes, let humanity take care of itself," Jowi agreed, speaking only after all trace of the first taste was gone from her mouth.
"And to the Deep Caverns with supposed ladylike behavior.
This is almost as good as being with a man."

"How can you compare the two?" Tamrissa asked with a strange sound, giving most of her attention to the brown chunk she nibbled at. "Being with a man is vile and unending pain. Chocolate is the most marvelous thing ever created. The two can't possibly be discussed in the same breath."

"It's . . . becoming increasingly obvious that you weren't happy in your marriage," Jowi said, approaching the subject carefully. "Did your husband change after you married him?"

"If at all, only for the worse," Tamrissa answered, now deliberately looking at the chocolate rather than at Jowi. "My parents didn't care what Gimmis was like, they just cared that he was willing to name my father as his heir if they married me to him. But that won't ever happen again, because I won't let it. I'd rather be dead than be married off a second time."

"That's what you meant when you said you'd be willing to give up your beauty to Beldara," Jowi suddenly remembered, studying the girl. Tamrissa had that fragile sort of beauty that aroused most men, either for good or ill depending on their individual natures. Jowi was quite glad her own beauty was completely different; if she'd looked like Tamrissa, she might not have survived.

"It looks like we have something in common then," Jowi said after a brief hesitation, now studying her own piece of chocolate. "My mother sold me when I was very young, but not into anything as nice as this house. The men who bought me expected to pass me on to one of their regular customers, someone who bought young girls rather often. I learned he bought so many because he tended to use them up, so I escaped before they were able to deliver me. Afterward I spent a very long time hoping they went back to my mother to reclaim my sale price."

"That would have served her right," Tamrissa said with a faint smile, raising those vulnerable violet eyes to Jowi's face. "I've always wanted to see something of the same done to
my
parents, but they're much too careful to be caught like that. How did you live when you escaped? If you were that young, who did you find to protect you?"

"There was a family I lived with for a while," Jowi answered, unsurprised that she told this girl what few others had ever learned. A bond seemed to be growing between them, almost a sisterhood . . . "The father of the family caught me trying to steal some food, and forced me to sit down and eat it along with more than I'd had the nerve to try for. They weren't rich people by any means, but they said that if anyone saw me leaving their place looking half starved, they'd never live it down. I stayed with them for almost two years, and when I finally began to earn more than coppers as a courtesan, I sent them silver on a regular basis."

"You were a courtesan?" Tamrissa asked, raising her brows before wrinkling her nose. "How did you stand it? Oh, of course, you were probably forced into it. Isn't it wonderful that now you won't ever have to go back to it?"

"My dear girl, I
wasn't
forced into it," Jowi said gently with a sigh, knowing she had an almost impossible job on her hands. "You have to understand that not all men are like the one you married, and being with them is pleasure rather than pain. My first man was really a boy, the oldest son in that family I stayed with. He was beautiful and I fell in love with him immediately, but he refused to touch me until I grew old enough to join him rather than be used by him. He taught me what pleasure there was to be had, and then he left home to make his own way in the world."

"He left you just like that?" she asked, wide-eyed again. "I knew men were no good, and you're just too nice to understand it."

"He first asked me to go with him," Jowi said with a fond smile of memory, remembering the night they'd said goodbye. "But I knew he didn't really love me, he was just trying to be gallant about it all. By then I was no longer
in
love with him, so I refused to go along. He didn't need two mouths to feed while trying to make something of
himself
, and I had plans of my own. The agent of a courtesan residence had seen me and given me the card of his principal, so I decided to see if I could make a go of it."

"Obviously you did," Tamrissa said, looking Jowi over from head to foot. "Your clothes are as beautiful as your face and figure, so you must have earned a
lot
of gold. But if you weren't forced to be a courtesan and you enjoyed it, then . . . maybe you aren't as glad to be here as I thought. . ."

Jowi could feel the girl's inner drawing away, and strangely enough it had nothing to do with her being a courtesan. It had to do with wanting to be there to take the tests, something Tamrissa was more than passionate about. Taking and passing the tests was nearly an obsession with her, and Jowi couldn't bear the idea of ruining the closeness they'd begun to feel.

"Actually, I'm delighted to be here," Jowi said quickly, to keep Tamrissa from withdrawing to the point of refusing to listen. "Being sent to Gan Garee got me away from my sponsor Allestine, who had made up her mind to keep me in her residence until I grew old and gray. I'd planned to open my own residence here when I failed the first test, but if I'd failed I wouldn't have opened anything. Now . . . Tamrissa, what do you really think our chances are to become part of the new Blending? I mean, it's just a silly dream, isn't it?
We
aren't members of the nobility, but if we ever won a place
...
no one could try to own us again."

"That's exactly what I've been thinking," the pretty child said with a sigh, her emotions relaxing back to where they'd previously been. Pretty child . . . Jowi was just about the same age as Tamrissa, but felt decades and centuries older. Her own life hadn't been easy, but she'd learned it was possible to escape things at a very young age, and then she'd had the love and support of her foster family. Tamrissa's twisted emotions said she'd had none of the same, which made Jowi wonder how she'd managed to stay sane.

"I keep telling myself that thinking about becoming part of the new Blending is foolish, but some bit of me doesn't want to listen," Tamrissa said, idly licking melted chocolate from her fingers. "I can't imagine that any of us here have the least chance, but Jowi—wouldn't it be wonderful?"

Jowi was in the midst of tasting her own chocolate again, so she didn't answer immediately. Once it was all down, though, she said, "Being completely free would be wonderful. Being a member of the new Blending would be—what? What do we know about the life they live, or what they're required to do? From time to time I asked some of my noble patrons, but even they didn't really know. They repeated the latest gossip about this or that threat having been overcome, but there were never any details. Do
you
know anything more about it? Have you ever even
seen
any of them?"

"Once or twice," Tamrissa said, frowning now. "Two of them came to the inn my parents and I were staying at when I was a lot younger. We were on our way back to Gan Garee, and so were they. Those who had accommodations on the top floor of the inn were put out of them, to make room for the Blending members and their entourage. Mother and father and I were forced to sleep in the same room rather than in the three we'd had, because places had to be found for those who'd been put out. And after all that, we only got the briefest glimpse of the two in the morning when they left. That was actually the closest I've ever gotten."

"So we don't really know what's involved with being members of a Blending," Jowi said, just about thinking out loud. "High practitioners, on the other hand, are very visible, and live like and among the highest nobles when they aren't needed for the most important jobs. But come to think of it, I've never seen a High at work, or met anyone who has. Middles are everywhere and doing what has to be done, but you just hear stories about Highs."