Cool School (3 page)

'm the new teacher,' you say.

‘But . . . but . . . but . . .' This lady seems to have a small vocabulary.

‘But, but, but, but, but,' she says. Now she sounds like a lawn-mower starting up. You're feeling desperate, but you've got to stick to your guns. The lady finally gets to the end of her sentence. ‘But you're very young,' she says.

‘Hey, did you ever see “Doogie Howser”?' you ask. ‘You ever heard of Mozart? Does the name Nathan Cavaleri mean anything to you?'

‘Well,' she says. ‘I'm sorry if I sounded a little . . . ungracious. Please excuse me. Welcome to the school. Welcome to the staff, and let me show you your pigeonhole.'

‘That's OK,' you say. ‘I don't have a pigeon at the moment.'

She looks at you strangely, then gives you a stack of folders and notebooks.

A loud electric bell rings. ‘Oh dear,' she says. ‘We've run out of time. I'll have to explain the other details to you at morning tea. Come along with me now and I'll introduce you to your class.'

‘Um, OK,' you say, feeling your courage deserting you. But there seems to be no escape. You follow her out the door, up endless stairs, and along the corridor. You can hear a noise like the surf in a raging storm, and gradually you realise that's your class. They're at the end of the corridor and they're in full riot mode. As the two of you approach, a chair comes flying out of the door and crashes into the wall. The lady with you doesn't even slow down. She charges into the room, while you hang back. As soon as the students see her they rush to their seats. There's instant silence.

‘Disgraceful behaviour! Disgusting!' she shouts at them. ‘I don't know what your new teacher will think.' She beckons to you.

‘Come in,' she says. ‘Class, I'd like to introduce you to your new teacher.'

hen it's been quiet outside for ten minutes you unlock the door and sneak out. The washroom is empty. You say a silent thank you and rush off to your first class. Luckily the teacher is still getting the class organised, calling the roll and giving out the books. She hardly notices that you're late. You hurry to a spare desk and sit down. You've only been sitting there a moment when you take a look to see who you're next to. Your mouth drops open in astonishment. Wow! It's Sam Jarre! You both seem to be blushing. This is a very interesting situation, you think to yourself. But the teacher's getting serious now and wants everyone to take out paper and pens. You both do that, and you start writing what the teacher tells you. Soon, out of the corner of your eye, you notice that Sam has torn off a bit of paper and is writing something different. You know it's going to be a message to you. You can't wait to read it. Sure enough, after a minute, it's pushed along the desk to you. You grab it and hide it in your hand and read it when no one's watching. The message is what you half expect . . .

It says: ‘Do you want to go with me?'

ou spend all morning looking for Sam Jensen. Somehow you're not surprised to think that Sam's got the hots for you. Those little sideways looks late last year, at your old school, those secret smiles, those casual hints. It's pretty exciting! After all, Sam's admired by so many people, boys and girls, and is so cool, so good looking.

You're not all that sure that you like Sam much though. Sam's always seemed to you to be a bit cruel. But maybe when you get to know each other better you'll realise you were wrong about that.

The search takes half the day. It's nearly the end of lunchtime when you track Sam down. The best-looking student in the school, surrounded by the usual group of fans. For once, you're not put off by all these people. You walk up to them confidently and stand there.

For a few minutes no one seems to take any notice of you. But eventually Sam realises you're right there, just looking on and smiling. Then finally comes a conversation that you know you'll never forget, for the rest of your life.

‘Well, hi,' Sam says.

‘Well, hi Sam.'

‘Were you looking for me?'

‘I think you're looking for me,' you say, with a little grin and a wink.

‘I am?'

‘Yes,' you say, and then add: ‘You see, I know about the message in the toilets.'

‘The message?'

‘The heart.'

Sam goes into hysterical laughter and all Sam's friends go into hysterical laughter, too. When they've finally got control of themselves again you ask, ‘Would someone mind telling me the joke?'

‘Sure,' Sam says. ‘We were having a competition this morning to put each other's names in hearts with the biggest nerds we could think of. And Danny here put my name in with yours. Thanks a lot, Danny!'

And they all burst out laughing again, having to hold each other up to stop from falling on the ground with hysteria.

oming along the corridor is a middle-aged female teacher carrying a briefcase and a pile of books. You realise this is your chance, and it's the only one you're going to get. You rush to the teacher's side.

‘You've got too much to carry there,' you say. ‘Let me help you.'

‘Why, what nice manners,' she beams. ‘So unusual among young people these days. Thank you.'

You take the pile of books, and the two of you walk right past the caveman-student, who's had to move aside to make room for you. ‘Why, thank you,' you say to him, ‘what nice manners you have. So unusual among young people these days.' He goes purple in the face and starts rumbling like a small active volcano. But you sweep on by without another look.

A minute later, as you deliver the teacher to her classroom, the bell rings and you go off to your own class. The morning passes in a blur and it's not until the lunch bell that you have time to be worried about the Incredible Hulk. You leave the classroom cautiously, peering down the corridor before you step into it. The coast looks clear, so you head for your locker. A few kids look at you strangely: you remember the scene in the bathroom this morning and blush with embarrassment.

It'll take you a long time to live that down.

You get to your locker and everything seems OK. The area is deserted.

You open the locker to put your books in and realise straight away that it's not OK after all. There's some kind of fire bomb in there, and as soon as you open the locker the whole thing bursts into flames. Yikes! This is really dangerous. You look around desperately.

At one end of the corridor there is a fire alarm button. At the other end there is a cleaner's cupboard, which you think should contain a tap and some buckets. Which way are you going to go?