Cooper (5 page)

Cooper took pity on her and took her by the shoulders, pushing her towards one of the stools that sat beneath the kitchen island. He took the pan from the stove and went about the task of making them both lunch.

“How’s Cade doing?” she asked, narrowing her gaze at how easily he flipped the grilled cheese from one side to the other.

“He’s in and out of it. The bullet that hit his shoulder didn’t do any major damage, but the one that hit his hand tore some tendons. He’s going to have some mobility issues.”

“Thomas is going up to see him after his last patient is gone. How about you? Are you all right?”

Having women join the MacKenzie family had been a completely foreign experience to Cooper. He and his brothers were close, but they didn’t talk about their feelings unless they were at gunpoint, and they sure as hell didn’t analyze each other. He’d found out very quickly that the MacKenzie women had no such issues.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Mostly.” He thought about the look in Claire’s eyes when he’d told her they had no future. The fear that had clutched around his heart when she’d told him she’d made a mistake and didn’t want to see him again.

“Do you ever worry what would happen to the baby if something happened to you or Thomas? Don’t you think it’s a little unfair to bring a kid into the world knowing that you could end up abandoning him?”

The reaction he got from Cat was not at all what he’d been expecting. He thought she was going to choke on her sandwich. Laughter rolled from her belly and tears pooled in her eyes. Cooper felt heat crawl up his cheeks and pushed back his stool to get up, but she grabbed his wrist and held him there.

“Cooper, I love you, even though you took some getting used to at first. I’m sorry I laughed. I know this is serious to you, but that’s the biggest pile of bullshit I’ve ever heard. Does this have anything to do with your own feelings after your parents died?”

Cooper just shot her a narrowed look.

“Does it have anything to do with you’re the kind of woman you usually gravitate toward and how you like your…extracurricular activities? Why you never bring any one woman around the family and seem incapable of forming any lasting relationships?”

He growled in annoyance at the way she’d just psychoanalyzed him and put him neatly in a box. Then he watched as sympathy moved through her eyes.

“Are you asking because of Claire?”

“I need to know the answer to my question,” he said, his throat dry.

“No, I don’t think it’s unfair to bring a child into the world knowing Thomas and I will be gone some day. It could be tomorrow or fifty years from now. But our child will know how much we loved him, and he’ll have uncles and cousins to help fill in the gaps. My perspective is unique because of where I came from. What you guys have is special, and I had no idea how to react to being welcomed and loved unconditionally by the rest of you just because I belonged to Thomas. It’ll be that way for all our children too. You don’t forget that love just because a person dies.

“And to answer your unspoken question, I don’t think it’s wrong to love. Not ever. Even when you know your time is finite. Why would you limit your happiness? Why wouldn’t you make the best of each day and hope for the best for the days to come? The fear of not knowing what’s coming would be like an axe hanging over your head. You’ll never really enjoy life if that’s the way you choose to live. What have you got to lose, besides a relationship you’re too afraid to nurture or the hope of a child you might someday call your own. You’ve already raised three kids. You’d make a damned fine father to your own. You have a tremendous capacity for love, Coop. You show it by the way you take care of your family. But love hurts sometimes. That doesn’t mean it’ll go away or you can overcompensate by trying not to feel at all. You’re not being fair to yourself or anyone who might love you in return if you do that.”

Cooper’s eyes burned at how well she’d seen through him. He’d been the problem solver in his family for so long that he’d forgotten what it felt like to let someone else take part of the burden.

“You’re a pretty good sister-in-law. For a thief.”

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and she wiped it away in annoyance. “Damned hormones,” she said. “You’re a good brother, too. For a cop. Now go have Thomas look at your ribs. I can tell they’re hurting you.

“Oh, and Cooper?” she said on his way out of the kitchen.

“Don’t give up on Claire. She’s loved you an awfully long time. I bet it wouldn’t take too much groveling for her to forgive you.

Chapter Five

Claire managed to avoid any and all MacKenzies for a whole week.

Since she’d embarrassed herself at the club Friday night, she’d had plenty of time to play the scenes over and over in her mind. It didn’t matter how she changed her reaction or the things she said, the outcome would have ended up the same.

She’d spent the week in seclusion, either in her tiny, two-bedroom house that she’d bought the year before, or at the library where she constantly looked over her shoulder, just waiting for Cooper to corner her.

He might not have tracked her down in person, but he sure didn’t mind ringing her phone off the hook. She’d hung up on him the first time. She hadn’t bothered to answer the next time. She’d finally unplugged the thing completely from the wall. Cooper would lose interest soon enough. Once he realized she wouldn’t settle for anything less than what she knew he was capable of giving.

But as she dressed for work the following Friday morning, she found herself staring at her naked body in the mirror on the back of her door. She was trim, but curvy. Her ass and breasts were always going to be more than a handful. No amount of exercise would ever change that.

Cooper hadn’t rejected her body. He’d found it more than satisfactory. He’d liked the nipple ornaments, and she’d loved the way they’d felt when he’d put his mouth around her.

It was her research that had given her cause to get them a few years before. She loved all her piercings—she hadn’t been sure she would when she’d first gotten them, especially the small hoop she’d gotten in the sensitive nerve bundle of her clitoris.

It had been curiosity that had first led her to the unusual decorations—and no one ever saw them except her—but she loved the way they looked and felt, and she had no desire to get rid of them just because it wasn’t considered mainstream for a small town librarian or your average woman walking down the street. She was more than comfortable with her own body and sexuality, and she had a mind of her own. She knew what she liked.

But Cooper had added to her body decoration—and not by her choice. The collar was a problem. Every time she looked at it she was reminded of what could have been between them. She was eventually going to have to see him again and make him remove it. But not yet. She wasn’t quite ready.

The good thing about the collar was that it could be passed off as a necklace if she wore the right clothing with it. The bad thing about it was she’d had to dress up more than usual every day this week. She was getting tired of wearing hose.

She pulled on sheer thigh highs and a black pencil skirt that made her legs look good. The weather was still cool in mid-April, so she picked a three-quarter length shirt the color of poppies that cut in a low vee to show just a hint of cleavage.

Nerves overtook her, just like they did every morning, as she left the house and took the long way to the library. She had the added misfortune of the library being directly across the street from the sheriff’s office.

The street was mostly deserted this early in the morning, and she sighed in relief when she saw Cooper’s truck wasn’t parked in front of the station.

She prayed all the way into the building that she wouldn’t come face to face with Cooper today. She reminded herself that
Club Dominique
had been a moment of temporary insanity, and that she was still the same Claire Drexel she’d always been—a small town librarian with close friends and family. A woman who had the heart of an adventurer trapped in the mind of someone who never broke the rules. It was time she accepted her lot in life and moved on.

***

Cooper knew the minute Claire stepped foot into the library.

He had a perfect view of the front steps from his office window, so he’d seen when she’d unlocked the big front doors and slipped inside. Even from a distance his cock hardened at the sight of her. She was his every fantasy come to life. The thought of her pierced nipples hiding under all those clothes made him crazy to peel them off layer by layer.

He’d had nothing but time over the past week to think about what his sister-in-law had told him. Between that and thoughts of Claire, his mind had been pretty busy. Even now as he thought of the way he’d treated her, the things he’d told her, shame crept over his skin until he felt dirty from it. She’d deserved better from him. And he’d deserved to be horsewhipped.

He’d been so used to his routine of how things went with the other women in his life, he’d almost become desensitized to the fact that there were still people in the world who had real feelings. He’d been cutting off his own emotions for so long that it seemed like the natural thing to do. But it wasn’t just Claire’s body he wanted, he’d discovered after a great deal of soul searching. He wanted everything about her. And he prayed he hadn’t screwed things up too badly to try and make a new start.

“Lucy,” he called out to his secretary. “I’ll be available on my cell if there’s an emergency. I’ve got a few personal matters to see to.”

He ran up the back stairs to his apartment and made a call. If Cat was going to dole out advice, then she should be there to back it up.

Cooper took out his piercings and dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. He would come to Claire with only himself to offer. He would give her everything he had. Everything he was. He knew in his heart that she was the woman for him. It wasn’t something that age or life or death could determine. And if he accepted that Claire was the one woman on this Earth that had been created for him, then all he could do was make the choice to accept that fate. Or deny it.

He’d already made the mistake of denying it once. Because of fear. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Claire was his. If she’d have him.

***

There were a few people in the library when Cooper went in a half hour later. It didn’t matter who saw him. He was determined to make Claire hear him out. Being without her wasn’t an option.

Claire was straightening up the children’s section and talking softly to a little boy of about three or four. She didn’t turn around when he entered, but her back stiffened as if she instinctively knew he was there.

He leaned against the front counter and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for Claire to run out of things to do just to avoid him. She finally had no choice but to come in his direction. She lifted her chin and kept her expression politely blank as she looked at the spot just over his shoulder instead of at his eyes.

“Claire, I need to talk to you.” His voice was soft in deference to where they were, but people were still giving him strange looks.

“I’m working right now, Cooper. And I’ve heard about as much what you have to say as I want to. Just leave me alone.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, sweetheart.” Her eyes finally met his, and it broke his heart to see such bitter desolation in their depths. Because of him. “I’ve taken the liberty of finding you a replacement for the afternoon. I need you to come with me. Just for a little while, so I can explain.”

She laughed softly and shook her head as she made her way around the counter so there was something physically between them. Despite the laughter, if was hard to miss the icy blast of her anger.

“So have you made it your personal mission to ruin my life? You’ve decided to harass me at my work place and dictate what I will and won’t do? I don’t belong to you, Cooper. I’m not your possession.”

He pointedly glanced at the collar she wore and found delight at the way heat flushed across her skin.

“You can fight this, but you won’t win,” he said. “Despite the circumstances that brought you to my attention, and no matter the intentions of either of us that night or the resulting outcome, there’s one thing that stands out in my mind. It only took one kiss to know that you were mine.”

Her eyes softened and her mouth parted with a sigh, but it was obvious by her visible effort she was digging deep to find the resolve to not open her arms to him.

“I decline,” she finally said with an arched brow and fire in her eyes. And something more—a challenge. He could see the outline of her nipples clearly beneath her shirt and the decoration that waited for him there. She couldn’t have made it any plainer that he was going to have to work harder for her forgiveness.

He opened his hand and held it out so she saw the tiny key that rested in his palm.

“Come with me and I’ll take it off.”

“I won’t be bribed, Cooper MacKenzie, unless you’re carrying that key between your teeth while crawling over shards of glass. I could probably be persuaded then.”

“You drive a pretty hard bargain.” He put the key in his pocket then lifted the pass-through in the counter so he could join her behind the desk. He’d seen Cat come in out of the corner of his eye, and he knew he and Claire had drawn a crowd from the library patrons. They’d be the hottest topic of conversation in Surrender before lunch time.