Corn, Cows, and the Apocalypse (Part 1) (21 page)

-The Big G, and the Little d’s-

             
As if the puppeteer-ed corpse wasn’t creepy enough, the damn thing had to speak.  Chucky dolls and rabid clowns had nothing on this demon spawn.  There wasn’t even anything strange about his voice, except perhaps the clarity.  The pre-loaded voice box had to be useless, but he managed to push his voice through from hell along with his marionette skills. 

             
August stilled, prepared to draw her sword at a moment’s notice.  I knew I should have been doing the same, but fear wasn’t usually an emotion I felt until my death was imminent.  “What the hell do you know about it?”  Snarky comments were my preferred defensive tactic. 

             
I stood up with August immediately after me.  I glanced at her for some indication of what to do next, but she only nodded to me. Apparently, this was my show, time to introduce myself to the players.

             
The grim laughed when I approached him.  I checked the chain connection again.  There was a slight tremor where the bolt buried into the wood siding, but it was secure.  When he lunged at me, as I suspected he would, he didn’t make me flinch. 

             
Disappointed by my lack of fear, he lost his playful smile.  He chanted something in Latin.  He seemed wholly satisfied by his gibberish when he had finished.  He panted and waited for me to do or say something.  When I did nothing but stare at him, he looked me over. 

             
“Something wrong?”  I perked my brow at his disenchanted inventory. 

             
“I cursed you.”  He said leaning over slightly as if he was about to puke on his loafers. 

             
“I see.”  I looked back at August and gave her a confused look.  She gave me the slightest head shake indicating she had no idea about this.  “Seems to have run you down.”  I pointed out returning my stone stare to him. 

             
“You are protected.  Who has protected you?” 

             
I tipped my head back with an inhalation that should have been followed by a long, “ohhhhhhh.”  Priest had blessed me dozens of times.  Perhaps he knew I might need it someday.  “I suppose there are benefits to having priests for friends.”

             
The grim glared at me through his hooded eyes.  “Prayer is useless now.”

             
“Show’s what you know. I thought it was pretty useless before the apocalypse.” 

             
“He can’t save you now.”  He mused. 

             
“Yeah, duh, none of us are hanging around waiting for that phone call.  God’s number was pretty unlisted before, now it’s disconnected.”

             
“Not your god…your priest.”  I momentarily lost my protective sarcasm, but it was enough for him to get a bead on me.  “Oh, yes, your priest has burned.”  I glanced back at August, but she had already settled back on her log, with her head down.  Her sword was in hand still ready at a moment’s notice, but I got the impression she was trying to give me as much privacy as she could without leaving me unprotected. 

             
“You’re reading my thoughts, huh?”  I asked a little more disconcerted by that than I thought I should be. 

             
“Did you even cry for him?  Were you too busy crying for yourself?”

             
“Technically everyone mourns for their loved ones by mourning for themselves.  It’s just how it works.”

             
“Was he…a
loved
one?”  I was about to ask him if I should pull up a couch.  “Did you want to fuck him?”  I couldn’t help but flush at that question.  Before I could retaliate he went on.  “Or do you prefer to stick with your sadist?”  I resisted the urge to see if August caught the meaning of that.

             
“What the hell is your point?!”

             
“What’s the matter; can’t face your demons?”

             
“I’m going to let that little cliché pass for now, because you’re new to the talking thing, but anymore and I will have to kill you.”  I wiggled my finger in his face.

             
“Nothing you do to this body will kill me.  I survive.  I move on.  I revive.  I will eat your soul.”  The last statement thoroughly disturbed me, but I wasn’t sure why, since it was clearly a rhetorical threat. 

             
“So, I destroy your puppet and you move on to another crystalline dead, and then I destroy that one, and eventually you have no one left to inhabit, so you just get to stay stuck in hell.  Great plan evil genius.  I think if I were you, I would pack this body on a flight to the Virgin Islands where you can camouflage yourself in the beach sand.”

             
The grim smirked and a guttural laugh started deep in his throat.  “There are still many, many dead.”

             
“Not for long.”  I said flatly. 

             
“Not for long.”  He said mirroring my lack of inflection. 

             
“Doesn’t that bother you?”

             
“Doesn’t that bother you?”  He asked overlapping my own words.

             
“What’s—“

             
“—this?”

             
“Are we seriously playing this game?”  His voice overlapped mine exactly. 

             
“
Holy shit
.”  He said even before I spoke the words.  “
We should sing a duet
.”  He suggested even as I was proposing the sarcastic statement in my mind.  “
Are you finished
?”  I didn’t bother trying to speak. I just let him ask the questions for me.  “
What the hell do you want from us you sick spawn of hell
?”  He leaned in ready to tell me his secret.  “Do you really want to know?”  He asked me.

             
“You know I do.”  I answered with my own voice. 

             
He licked his lips as seductively as he could with a dehydrated tongue.  “Your souls.” 

             
“That’s it?”  I glanced back at August.  She frowned at me reprimanding my humor, but I couldn’t resist.  “I mean don’t get me wrong, the whole “brains!” thing was way overdone, but I mean demons wanting our souls, isn’t that just…well it’s been done…to death.”

             
“Without your soul you will never rise.”

             
“Yeah, I get it, we all go to hell.”

             
“No!  You go nowhere.  You are oblivion.  We rip away all hope, starving your soul.  Your pain will sustain us until…” he pinched his finger together.  “…the light within extinguishes.  Then… nothing.” 

             
I stepped back from him.  He took it as fear or shock and I let him.  I had never really figured death was really heaven or hell, but I had assumed that some consciousness remained.  Essence, energy, or the soul, it wasn’t technical; simply an understanding of physics with the weight of an entire civilization’s hopes and dreams resting on it.  Without the soul, death really would be what everyone always feared it would be.  The end. 

             
Before I could object August decapitated the grim.  I watched his head roll away with the faint disappointment of not getting to do it myself.  She looked me over saddened that I had to go through the experience.  “You okay.”

             
“I don’t know.  I think I have more questions than when I started, but I guess it helps to know they aren’t just mindless automatons.  I didn’t know they could read minds.”

             
“Human interaction feeds them.  Talking to them for long periods is dangerous.  They get in your head, as you saw.  They can be difficult to resist.  That’s why we need to kill as many as we can.  The last thing we need is them getting in so deep that they can eat our souls.”

             
I nodded.  There was nothing to disagree with.  I was all for saving souls, but for some reasons my instincts were flaring.  August told me to trust my instincts, but she also told me to trust her.  In the end, I would do as her instincts told her.  After all, she was the hero.

-
New Roles, Same Rules-

             
I sat on the edge of the railing looking over the dirty plank floor below.  A fresh layer of hay had been spread over the barn, but it still reeked from the last vestiges of bovine.  There was enough room in the loft behind me to stock a winter’s worth of hay, which I concluded was…a lot.  I had never been in a barn this big, and frankly, I didn’t think they came this big, but somebody, once upon a time, thought themselves a dairy farmer.

             
The dance was about as far north as I had been in years.  My pre-apocalyptic travels hadn’t taken me far, so I wasn’t much help in finding the place.  The hills in the area rolled gently, which was a nice change from the flat valley I was used to, but it did leave room for error.  Danger could literally be over the next hill.

             
There was a live band, which was a rare treat, even though the drummer sounded like a new recruit.  There was something to be said for the bravery it took to try a new hobby after the reckoning.  There was also something to be said for the enduring boredom that all but forced you to open your mind to new possibilities. 

             
Below I could see August dancing with a fine specimen of a man.  She rarely let her hair down, but over the last two months she had given me more responsibility, effectively lightening her load.  I thought it would be harder to deal with, but in a way I was doing the same thing I had been doing all along.  I was caring for my family.

             
Instead of acquiring the right chips and toilet paper, I was decimating grim.  Preventing intestinal distress and raw butt, wasn’t as glorifiable as killing grim, but it was still me protecting them. 

             
I could see Devin below, dancing with a petite blond that was playing cowgirl for the night.  She even had the double hipped pistols.  He caught my eye and smiled.  He mouthed, “You okay?”

             
I smiled.  I knew if I walked downstairs and asked to cut in, he would have dropped his sure thing, and wrapped his arms around me to dance as long as I wanted.  That was enough for me.  Just knowing I could.  It was more devotion than any man had ever shown me, and I wanted to keep it that way.  “I love you,” I mouthed back. 

             
“I love you too.”  He mouthed back drawing his cowgirl closer. 

             
“You two make me sick.”  Haden snarled as she climbed up to my loft via the death trap ladder.  I hadn’t heard her until she spoke.  That disappointed me, but given the loud music and my being distracted by my plutonic lover, I didn’t let it get to me. 

             
“Why’s that?”  I asked when her glower didn’t readily disappear.  She really was disgusted. 

             
“Why don’t you just fuck each other and get it over with?”  She looped her legs over the railing and pouted, sipping on her beer. 

             
“What are you doing up here?  I told you’d I’d watch.”

             
“There aren’t any decent men tonight.  August got the last good one.”  She said with sour grapes dripping in her voice. 

             
“That she did.  I’m sure if you asked Devin, he’d forgo his evening’s catch.”

             
“No!”  If she were a dog, she would have snapped at my proffered hand.  “He’s got someone for tonight.  He can have me any night.”

             
“Can he?”  I asked cautiously.  She furrowed her brow and shrugged off the foreign language I was speaking.  “Maybe you should remind him of that.  I mean I understand that you both enjoy the variety of a non-committed relationship, but you might find that given the choice, he might still choose you.”

             
Haden looked me over, most likely debating hitting me, laughing at me, or just calling me a name.  “Why haven’t you fucked him?  You’re not still holding off because of me are you?” 

             
“Why are you so concerned about my sex life?”

             
“Other than the fact that you probably haven’t gotten laid since you lost your virginity?”

             
I chuckled.  “Almost, but not quite.” 

             
“You should just get it over with is all I’m saying.  He clearly wants you.”  She chugged the last of her beer.

             
“No, not exactly—not the way he wants you anyway.”  The bottle made a kissing sound as Haden ripped it from her mouth.

             
“What’s that supposed to mean?”

             
“He just wants to take care of me.  If that means sleeping with me, then he’s more than happy to do it.  With you, he just can’t resist.  I’m telling you, if you tied your hair up, looped your shirt through your bra, and started fanning yourself like this barn was the tropics, he’d be up here in ten minutes.  And the ten minutes would only be because he’s a gentleman.”

             
She eyed me again debating on those same three options.  In the end, her face fell and she looked away from me.  “Yeah, I guess.  I just hate how lovey-dovey you two are now.” 

             
“Ahh, that’s what this is about.  You don’t care whether I do or don’t do him.  You just don’t like seeing him affectionate with me.”

             
“Whatever, it’s weird.  You used to have a crush on him, now it’s more like he has a crush on you.”

             
“No,” I tried to say it as smooth and calm as I know August would if she were there, “I’m just what he needs right now and vice versa.  You’re a very intense woman Haden.  Any man would be happy to have a shot with you, but…”  I let the word hang for a moment drawing her eyes back to me.  “Devin is a man proud of his conduct.  You don’t always let him…coax you out.”

             
“Did you just call me a slut?”

             
I laughed unable to contain it.  When she didn’t join in I held up a finger to ease her anger and cleared my throat.  “No, I would never call a fellow female that.  However, I did call you easy, and there is a difference.” 

             
I held up both hands because it looked as though she had finally decided on hitting me.  “I think what Devin enjoys about hanging out with me, is he gets to perpetually woo me.  If I never give in, he gets to flirt to his heart’s content, and I think we both know how much he loves to flirt.”

             
“Who likes to flirt?”  Devin asked climbing up the ladder to join us.  Haden was surprised by his entrance, but I saw the shift in the ladder this time.  “What are you two discussing?  Haden you look like you’re going to kill number three here.” 

             
I couldn’t help but smile that he had taken to my euphemism about our team.  He certainly never thought of me as third, and as far as he was concerned
he
was the hero, but none the less he found it amusing.

             
“We were just discussing the number of not so cute men at this party.”  I said.

             
“Hey.”  He teased leaning on the pole next to me.  I knew Haden would bristle that he was leaning on the pole next to
me
, but from my perspective, he was leaning on the pole next to me, looking at
her
. 

             
“Except you, but of course that was where the debate got heavy.”  Haden continued to glare at me, but she remained silent to see where I was going with this.  “With only one man for the two of us, we had to decide which one of us should get you.”

             
“Oh, really?”  He asked intrigued, his ego sitting up and begging for more.  Haden rolled her eyes.  She was seconds from stomping off so I gave her a severe look to settle her oh so eager temper tantrum.  “Well, you know, you could both have me.  Haden can attest to my stamina.”

             
“Oh, she did.  We were way ahead of you on that.  Only one problem.”

             
“No problem, ladies.”  Devin drawled shaking his head. 

             
“Yes, a problem.  Haden doesn’t share well.”

             
“That she doesn’t.”  Devin winked at her, and for the first time a tiny smile hit Haden’s lips. 

             
“I was concerned that one of us might get left out, and Devin I just couldn’t do that to you.”  After a short pause he looked down at me confused by my conclusion.  “Well, I mean, come on.  You didn’t really think Haden would choose you over me in a threesome.  I mean, I’m a woman, imagine what I could do for her.”

             
“I already am, and I know your teasing me, but go on.”

             
“Well, first off, I know Haden likes it rough.”  Haden’s eyes widened; she couldn’t believe how far I was taking this.  “I would tie her up.  Quartered and stretched, you know?”  Devin offered me some consolation of a response, but his eyes were locked on Haden and hers on his. 

             
I continued knowing full well I was delving not so much into the realm of lesbianism, but perhaps one of my own late night fantasies that was too good to actually try in case it ruined it.  “After I’d subdued her, I would slow things down.  I’d kiss her everywhere but where she wanted me to.  Then I’d massage her shoulders and legs.  When I was sure I had her plenty warmed up, I’d…”

             
My pause broke the moment and they both looked at me as if I was a buffering video, and they were trying to figure out how to get me to go again.  “I’ll tell you the rest later.  Since you guys are up here, I think I’ll grab a beer.  Let me know which one you choose, Haden.”   

             
I didn’t bother to wait for an answer.  I just slipped down the ladder and waved at a few un-cuties on my way to the beer supply.  I always managed to catch a few eyes at the dances, but for some reason I just couldn’t get the hang of sleeping with strangers. 

             
I found a wall to lean against and surveyed the crowd from there.  Up in the loft, Haden and Devin were already making out, and I couldn’t help but be pleased with my work.  I knew monogamy was a lot to ask in the new world, but I didn’t think love was, and Haden and Devin loved each other.  No matter what they said. 

             
I could feel something shift inside me, and I grabbed before I fully understood what I was grabbing at.  I found some unattractive old man trying to cop a feel.  He was shocked that he hadn’t managed to get a fist full of breast before I noticed him.  He was even more surprised that my grip was so tight it was causing his frail skin to break. 

             
“Do you think I should cut you some slack because you’re old?”  I asked. 

             
“Yes, ma’am.”  I caught the glint in his eyes, and I knew it was an act—an act of banality that had fooled more than one woman.  

             
“Did you cut those girls you raped any slack?”  I didn’t know how I knew, but I knew.  As sure as my eyes saw the blood trickling down my fingers from his wrist, I saw the damage he had done to so many happy, youthful women.  His eyes went wide and he tried to rip his hand away.   

             
I pulled him forward, which wasn’t as easy as I would have liked. Old bugger was stronger than he looked. I dropped the beer in my free hand and grabbed his chin to speak into his face.  “I wouldn’t want to disrupt the party by killing you, but consider yourself dead from this point on.  If I see you again, I
will
kill you, no questions asked.  Understand?”

             
He nodded as best he could and I released him.  He scurried off nearly falling before he found his balance again.  August was by my side directly after.  She wasn’t there to defend me, but comfort me.  Her new man, to his credit, came running right after to assess my trouble and August’s concern. 

             
“What is it?”  August asked whispering even though the music was enough to drown us out. 

             
“Promise me there’s a hell.”  I said. 

             
She looked me over baffled.  “I don’t know.”  She looked disappointed that she couldn’t actually verify that statement.

             
“Then promise me…”  My eyes were tearing up.  I wasn’t even sure what this emotion was.  I knew it had started out as anger, but now it felt like turmoil.  “Promise me that he will one day understand that he is a monster—even if he isn’t punished for it, at least let him hate himself as much as they hate him.”

             
“Honey, I don’t know what you’re talking about.  What did he say to you?”

             
“Nothing.  He’s just a worthless old man that thinks because he’s old he doesn’t have to take responsibility for his youth.”  August glanced at her friend and he seemed to get the hint that he should leave.