Correlated (17 page)

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Authors: Shaun Gallagher

BOOK: Correlated
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Tic-Tac-Toe

50%
of people say that when playing a game with a child, they let the child win.

But among those who prefer to be the O in tic-tac-toe,
66%
let the child win.

----------------

24%
of people would rather have a small meal and big dessert than a big meal and small dessert.

But among those who prefer to be the O in tic-tac-toe,
38%
would rather have a small meal and big dessert than a big meal and small dessert.

----------------

40%
of people say they have oily hair.

But among those who prefer to be the O in tic-tac-toe, only
27%
people say they have oily hair.

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to prefer to be the O in tic-tac-toe if you both:

  • say your butt is the last thing you wash when you shower
  • prefer charcoal grills over gas grills
NO CORRELATION

People who prefer to be the O in tic-tac-toe are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • think Delaware should cease to be a state and become a suburb of Philadelphia
  • prefer poetry that rhymes
  • have brown eyes
Time Travel

43%
of people are homeowners.

But among those who would rather time-travel to the past than the future,
58%
are homeowners.

----------------

49%
of people have read at least one gospel from the Bible all the way through.

But among those who would rather time-travel to the past than the future,
64%
have read at least one gospel from the Bible all the way through.

----------------

52%
of people are more likely to do plumbing work on their own than electric work.

But among those who would rather time-travel to the past than the future,
60%
are more likely to do plumbing work on their own than electric work.

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to say you'd rather time-travel to the past than the future if you both:

  • admire Ronald Reagan more than Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • don't regularly play video games
NO CORRELATION

People who would rather time-travel to the past than the future are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • get nosebleeds
  • say their friends are mostly of the same sex
  • prefer waffles to pancakes
Tipping a Server

39%
of people have had a poison ivy rash.

But among those who refuse to tip a server when they receive poor service, only
18%
have had a poison ivy rash.

----------------

51%
of people would not get their son circumcised.

But among those who refuse to tip a server when they receive poor service,
71%
would not get their son circumcised.

----------------

26%
of people say the time 9:45 as “a quarter to ten” rather than “nine forty-five.”

But among those who refuse to tip a server when they receive poor service,
42%
say the time 9:45 as “a quarter to ten” rather than “nine forty-five.”

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to refuse to tip a server when you receive poor service if you both:

  • are more likely to sneeze into your hand than your sleeve
  • have never taken a philosophy course
NO CORRELATION

People who refuse to tip a server when they receive poor service are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • say their preferred search engine is not Google
  • have mistakenly used the public restroom of the opposite sex
  • be able to juggle
Toilet Paper

67%
of people believe it's their obligation to buy their designated driver's soft drinks.

But among those who prefer their toilet paper to hang against the wall,
89%
believe it's their obligation to buy their designated driver's soft drinks.

----------------

35%
of people think Detroit would win in a fight against Chicago.

But among those who prefer their toilet paper to hang against the wall,
55%
think Detroit would win in a fight against Chicago.

----------------

41%
of people say they have good posture.

But among those who prefer their toilet paper to hang against the wall,
59%
say they have good posture.

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to prefer your toilet paper to hang against the wall if you both:

  • prefer pistachios in the shell
  • have attended a wedding of a couple whom you didn't believe would last
NO CORRELATION

People who prefer their toilet paper to hang against the wall are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • have attempted to learn sign language
  • be allergic to pet dander
  • have no interest in running for political office
Tongue Dexterity

46%
of people have had pink eye.

But among those who can tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue,
67%
have had pink eye.

----------------

38%
of people know how to make origami.

But among those who can tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue,
56%
know how to make origami.

----------------

62%
of people have strong feelings about whether physician-assisted suicide should be legal.

But among those who can tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue,
78%
have strong feelings about whether physician-assisted suicide should be legal.

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to be able to tie a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue if you both:

  • prefer cherry cola to regular cola
  • assume that those without Facebook accounts are weird
NO CORRELATION

People who can tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • have thick hair
  • wad up, rather than fold, their toilet paper
  • like soggy cereal
Touch Typing

62%
of people use a finger other than their middle finger to scroll when using a mouse with a scroll wheel.

But among those who can't type without looking at the keyboard,
79%
use a finger other than their middle finger to scroll when using a mouse with a scroll wheel.

----------------

58%
of people have eaten in a diner at 4 a.m.

But among those who can't type without looking at the keyboard,
74%
have eaten in a diner at 4 a.m.

----------------

25%
of people aren't fans of the serial comma.

But among those who can't type without looking at the keyboard,
39%
aren't fans of the serial comma.

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to be unable to type without looking at the keyboard if you both:

  • can't play the piano
  • own flannel clothing
NO CORRELATION

People who can't type without looking at the keyboard are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • believe in objective morality
  • use electric razors
  • have dated someone of another race
TV in the Bedroom

73%
of people think violent felons should not be made permanently ineligible to receive public food benefits.

But among those who have a TV in their bedroom, only
58%
think violent felons should not be made permanently ineligible to receive public food benefits.

----------------

45%
of people have positive feelings about athletic scholarships.

But among those who have a TV in their bedroom,
59%
have positive feelings about athletic scholarships.

----------------

28%
of people think North Korea's frequent threats of war are not empty threats.

But among those who have a TV in their bedroom,
40%
think North Korea's frequent threats of war are not empty threats.

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to have a TV in your bedroom if you both:

  • own an e-book reader
  • use air freshener in your home
NO CORRELATION

People who have a TV in their bedroom are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • prefer their sandwiches cut into rectangles
  • be Lady Gaga fans
  • have sneaked into a movie without paying
Unemployment

50%
of people have voted for a minor party or write-in candidate.

But among those who have collected unemployment,
67%
have voted for a minor party or write-in candidate.

----------------

28%
of people have had hemorrhoids.

But among those who have collected unemployment,
45%
have had hemorrhoids.

----------------

32%
of people prefer emoticons with noses.

But among those who have collected unemployment,
44%
prefer emoticons with noses.

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to have collected unemployment if you both:

  • have worked in the healthcare industry
  • do your own taxes
NO CORRELATION

People who have collected unemployment are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • be more likely to bury than flush a dead fish
  • prefer their gravy thick and gloopy rather than thin and soupy
  • say that headaches are a bigger problem for them than bellyaches
Vegetarians

38%
of people say they don't have very symmetrical faces.

But among vegetarians,
60%
say they don't have very symmetrical faces.

----------------

31%
of people think the costs should be split during a date.

But among vegetarians,
52%
think the costs should be split during a date.

----------------

70%
of people prefer jam to jelly.

But among vegetarians,
88%
prefer jam to jelly.

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to be a vegetarian if you both:

  • have a Tumblr account
  • do yoga
NO CORRELATION

Vegetarians are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • like roller coasters
  • prefer pancakes to waffles
  • have collected unemployment
Video Games

----------------

46%
of people know who actress Felicia Day is.

But among those who regularly play video games,
63%
know who actress Felicia Day is.

----------------

45%
of people like anime.

But among those who regularly play video games,
59%
like anime.

----------------

62%
of people understand HTML.

But among those who regularly play video games,
74%
understand HTML.

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to regularly play video games if you both:

  • like “Weird” Al Yankovic
  • would rather time-travel to the future than the past
NO CORRELATION

People who regularly play video games are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • prefer French fries to onion rings
  • prefer the term
    firefly
    over
    lightning bug
  • be interested in genealogy
Volunteerism

30%
of people are good singers.

But among those who are involved in volunteer work,
42%
are good singers.

----------------

58%
of people think old people are cute.

But among those who are involved in volunteer work,
69%
think old people are cute.

----------------

54%
of people know what their Myers-Briggs personality type is.

But among those who are involved in volunteer work,
64%
know what their Myers-Briggs personality type is.

DOUBLE PLAY

You're extremely likely to be involved in volunteer work if you both:

  • know which directions “port” and “starboard” refer to
  • can read music
NO CORRELATION

People who are involved in volunteer work are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  • say they are more scared of bees than the average person
  • think WD-40 is more useful than duct tape
  • judge others based on how good-looking they are

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