Cotton Grass Lodge (17 page)

“So—we’ll just ride out there, you’ll show me what I need to see, and I’ll bring you back. No lunch, no meaningless conversation, just a neighbor keeping the greenhorn out of trouble. ’Cause I might get lost and never be seen again.” Duncan looked down his nose in her direction. “You will still get back to your axe today.”

Thwack
! Hanna looked down at the handle in her hand. “Maul.”

“Maul, axe, wood cutting utensil.” He gave a bemused shrug.

“I really shouldn’t take the time.” Hanna looked over at the chainsaw propped up against a stump. “But I haven’t seen the swans this year.” She’d worked so much this summer even this small pleasure induced guilt. Where’s the harm in taking a couple of hours off? “I guess—”

“I’ll help you put your tools away, and you can check on your swans.” Duncan hopped off the four-wheeler and stumbled. He caught himself and limped toward the chainsaw.

“Are you hurt?” He didn’t often let the limp show. A kernel of concern popped into her chest.

“No, I’ve been working hard this week. We have to dig the septic system in by hand, and I pulled something. Tom made me leave. I hate it when the help runs the business.”

“Humm, how did you hurt yourself? I mean, before. You said car wreck—it’s none of my business, but—” Hanna’s curiosity embarrassed her. She ducked her head and scooped up the rest of her tools and followed Duncan into the lean-to woodshed.

“Ah, you know how it is. Jubilation at the end of the second year at college with no direction in sight. I’d gotten thrown out of the party at my frat house.” He dropped his voice to exasperation, “Never try to pick up someone else’s girl.” He smirked briefly in her direction. “You aren’t someone else’s girl—are you?”

Hanna only frowned and pointed to the bench where he could put the chainsaw.

“So, a little too much booze, a little too much speed on a winding road with a really steep slope, put me in a really lonely hospital for a really long, thought-filled summer. It wasn’t what I had planned, and I had another year of rehab to work on after I got out of the hospital. At least I can still walk.” He chuckled.

“It sounds more serious than you let on.”

He sobered, “I have to make light of it. And to give credit where credit is due. Carl and John saved me from myself. They kept my spirits up and called
bullshit
on me when I started to backslide into whiny-rich-kid.”

As they walked past the front of her cabin, Hanna ducked in the door and scooped up a small backpack. Duncan swung astride the four-wheeler to wait. “What’s in the bag?”

“I like being prepared. It’s my grab-n-go. Sort of an emergency first aid thing, it has binoculars too.” She swung on behind him and directed him to the old road. They left the big trees growing around the lake and gradually the willows and alder brush dwindled to low hummocks of Labrador tea and an Alaskan equivalent to blueberries.

A brisk breeze scooted across the rolling hills and jerked their words away. The road, a rocky, uneven track, wound along the dry sides of a gentle slope avoiding the bogs and ponds.

They splashed across gravel-bottomed trickles and one snowmelt creek rushing and tumbling through a sharp-sided canyon. Hanna pointed to where the bog it fed spread out into a shallow pond. “I’d like to stop here.” She put her arm back around his chest and convinced herself the warm glow between her legs was because the shelter of his body kept the breeze away.

Duncan found a protected hollow and he turned off the machine. Silence broken only by the friction of the passing wind enveloped them.

Hanna turned her face up toward the sun and breathed deeply. She imagined she could smell the salt air even though it was a thousand miles west to the Bering Sea. She pulled binoculars from her backpack and focused them on the pond. There they were, a pair of tundra swans and one gray cygnet. She passed the glasses to Duncan, and he sat for a long time watching.

“I’ve never seen such big birds in the wild,” Duncan said, as if they might hear him. “My God, they’re beautiful.”

Ping
.

Another strand broke. Hanna scrambled desperately to grasp the loose ends and thread them back into her rope of wisdom. If she could find something wrong with Duncan Mahoney, Mr. G.Q. Cover Boy, she could save herself. She could escape the fall she could see coming. This. Just. Can. Not. Work.

“Well, we’re here. Might as well eat.” Duncan gestured in the direction of the cargo pod on the back of the four-wheeler and grinned.

Ping
.

He even had a blanket. The knee-high brush cushioned them as they ate. Hanna pulled out her binoculars, and they spent a lazy two hours passing them back and forth, glassing the undulating hills. Duncan delighted in seeing a fox and a bull moose on the opposite hillsides of the valley. Hanna showed him how to recognize the zig-zag zipper look of an old bear trail.

Hanna reveled in the complete relaxation. How long had it been since she’d allowed herself to lie in the sun and do nothing?

Hanna’s little snooze ended when a fly trapped under the blanket buzzed and bumbled at her ear. She opened her eyes, “Did you plan the nap, too?”

He was reclined against the four-wheeler tire. “Oh, yeah. It’s always my plan to take a girl on a date and watch her sleep.” The moment stretched, her questions were reflected in his green eyes.

“This isn’t a date.” She lay there gazing up into a future she wanted to resist, and like the slow-motion of a car wreck, he leaned over and kissed her. An unhurried, soft kiss. She focused on the taste of him, the touch of the stubble on his face, the tender tip of his tongue. The smell of warm skin, the man smell, sending an unavoidable quaking need through every joint and fiber of her parched body.

More. I want more.
Her arm slipped up around his body and pulled herself deeper into his embrace
. It feels so good. Just enjoy it and you can stop later. If she stopped now it wouldn’t hurt so bad later. But, what about now? It’s been so long and he feels so good.

Duncan’s hands played across her body and loitered at the junction of her jeans and her back. His rough hands found the sliver of skin beneath her shirt.

You’ll be so sorry.
She could feel his breath come in sharp bursts. His arms slid around her and his body covered hers.
This is a terrible idea.

When he moved his elbow to brace himself the mood was altered. He broke the deep kiss, and two small kisses later he raised his head to look into her eyes. “This is nice, Hanna, where is it going?”

“I don’t know,” her whisper was attached to regret. “I—don’t know.”

He rolled over and dragged her with him. She curled into his shoulder. After jostling a moment, he got comfortable against the tire. “We’re big people; we know what’s possible. Do we want to go there?” His arms wrapped her into his chest and his heart thumped softly beneath her cheek. “I’m crazy about you. Can we..?” Duncan’s hand stroked her arm.

“Can we go ahead and then not be pissed off later?” Hanna asked.

“Yeah.”

Hanna shook her head. “I’ll be pissed off later.”

“What if we go ahead and plan not to be pissed off?” Duncan asked.

Hanna tensed. “You mean like planning for a future?”

“Yeah. Would it be a bad thing?”

The violent disagreement continued inside Hanna’s head.
This is a stupid conversation, why am I here? I should get up and make him take me back. NOW. He won’t stay, you know he won’t stay.

“I wish you would think out loud.” His gentle strokes up and down her arm continued.

“No you don’t.” Hanna turned her face up and kissed the line of his jaw. He kissed her again.

Liar, you’re just like him, but this feels so good. I don’t have to tell him the whole truth. When he leaves he won’t remember this conversation, he’ll just leave.

A big blue bottle fly careened into Hanna’s cheek and bounced drunkenly between her eyelashes and Duncan’s nose. They broke away from each other and Duncan swatted violently. “Aaa, do you ever get used to the insult of flying insects?”

Hanna laughed and rolled away, ending up on her feet. “No.”

“Just as well, I guess. I didn’t bring a condom.”

She laughed again. “I did. There are several in my pack.”

Duncan paused. “Really?” His eyes widened.

“Don’t look at me you lecherous man. Most emergency packs have one or two. They’re used for more than sex you know.”

“Not where I come from.”

“Welcome to my world,” Hanna said. She picked up two corners of the blanket and waited for Duncan to move. “Care to join me in my bug-free cabin?”

Duncan bent down and took the other two corners of the blanket. Together they began folding. “Could we call it something like planning a future?” He asked.

“No, but it could be fun.” She’d committed, even if it was the worst decision she ever made, Hanna was ready to live with the consequences.

Chapter 17

When Duncan stopped in front of Hanna’s cabin, she hopped off the four-wheeler. “I’ll be right back.” She detoured into her small sauna and he followed, watching from the low doorway. She started a fire, checked the water level in the large stainless steel pot on top of the little stove. She turned to face him.

“Quit multi-tasking and come here,” he said. “I want your undivided attention.” He pulled her close and kissed her.

He fell into the kiss, the lovely oblivion of no past and no future. The exquisite present took over all of his consciousness. He didn’t know how long the kiss lasted. She pushed away slowly. “I don’t have to fly tomorrow. I have a nice bottle of wine in the house and since this is the first time…I want a little help with my inhibitions. Besides, I want to be fresh for you, and the water isn’t hot yet.”

Duncan smiled and kissed her nose. “Okay, you take the lead.” Fear took hold of his nerve endings, and he trembled as if he were standing between the tracks with an oncoming train. This woman was making his head swim with the possibilities of a forever, and this time he wanted to go there. He realized the futility of the women in his past, nice women, hot women, but none of them had been Hanna. He’d waited for her. The question was had she been waiting for him?

They went back to the cabin. Hanna turned down the volume on the music and poured wine. He savored the taste of it on her lips. She began to undress, slowly, revealing the body he’d dreamed about over the last month. It was better than the dream.

She stood back and considered him still fully clothed. Duncan laughed at the trembling of his hands. He didn’t remember this flood of emotion accompanying a new conquest. But she wasn’t a conquest.

She cocked an eyebrow, and one handed began to unbutton his shirt. The music hummed low in the background, and he found his attention glued to her eyes, as if he’d never seen eyes as black and deep and warm before in his life.

His belt was next and the zipper—dangerously close to an erection of astounding proportions. It sprang forward when she released his jeans from his hips. He would have laughed again, but she slid her hand through the hair of his groin and cupped his testicles. How could such a small woman have control of him so completely?

She stroked him and he gasped, a splash of colors played out against the back of his eyelids, and he forced his eyes open again. Duncan raised the glass in his hand and drained it. “The water is hot enough, or not, it’s sauna sex or the kitchen floor. Your choice.”

Hanna’s tongue was magic, her body cool and foreign against his. His arousal demanding and eager. She took his hand as he stepped out of his pants and left them on the floor. When she led the way across the yard to the sauna, he was only slightly aware of the shadowed walk, and on some level of awareness, he was happy the fire snapped in the stove and the water was steaming.

They washed each other. In the sauna, warm enough to be naked, but not hot enough to make breathing difficult, the only thing Duncan wanted to wear was the condom and her. All of her, touching him front and back and running her hands over his body as if she liked it and didn’t want him to stop doing what he couldn’t help doing. In a corner of his mind was apprehension. Perhaps she wouldn’t love him as much as he knew he was falling in love with her.

The sauna smelled of hot cedar, peppermint soap, and the musk of sex. Hanna closed her eyes. She focused on the feel of his body. Each point of contact with his skin exploded in greedy desire. Her fingers explored each dip and contour of his body. She reveled in the touch of his rough hands as he turned her around. One hand stroked her breast, and the other slid down her belly to clutch her closer to the rhythmic thrusting of his hips.

His tongue ran shivers along the length of her neck stopping to suckle an earlobe before making the traverse again to her shoulder.

Desire soon morphed into gasping mania for a conclusion to this exquisite teasing. She bent over, reached between his legs and grasped him, guiding him into her for a final thrust.

His moan broke into the room muffled by her own cry of satisfaction. She braced one hand on the bench in front of her and circled her fingers around the base of his balls. Holding him closer, forcing him to plunge harder and harder into her.

“I-I can’t—” His hoarse statement cut short as she felt his shudder of climax.

Just as quickly ecstasy rolled over her body. Wave after wave of intoxicating pleasure took her breath away. She pulled away to collapse on the bench in front of her, then he took her hand and held it to his chest as he sat next to her.

Her eyes fluttered open. “One down, one to go,” she said. “Next time I want to use the bed.”

****

When Hanna left three days later, Duncan walked her down to the plane. “Don’t forget the Fourth of July party,” she said as she opened the plane and tossed in her bag. “We don’t want a repeat of June first.”