Coughing & Donuts: A Mercy Mares Cozy Mystery (5 page)

The guards in the vehicle honked to get my attention. One of them called out, “You lost?”

I tried the brightest smile I could conjure up so early in the morning and turned to answer them. “No. I just wanted to see what it looked like over here during daylight hours.”

They looked at each other. I could see that they were contemplating whether or not to believe my story, but they quickly let it go and drove on, but not too far. I saw them park in the next parking lot over, where they could still keep an eye on me from a safe distance.

I took the opportunity to sneak between the buildings to follow the trail I'd taken the other day. Just as I thought, there were cameras strategically placed near the roofs to capture any activity between them and the adjacent building. As much as I wanted to convince myself that maybe Mike hadn't noticed me lurking on the lot, I couldn't. All it did was prove that he was a lazy jerk.

“Great! Smile you're on candid camera, Mercy.” I said out loud.

“And, they say I'm crazy. You always talk to yourself?” A voice coming from somewhere behind me started laughing.

I turned, my heart ready to leap from my chest. “Eli?” He stood on the other side of a window, in what looked like a maintenance building. “What are you doing in there?”

“Quiet!” He hissed at me. “Are you trying to get me arrested?”

I lowered my voice and moved closer to him, but not close enough for him to be able to get his hands on me and do who knows what with me. I was virtually defenseless. Ruby and my daughter, Diana, kept urging me to take self-defense classes, but up until recently, I didn't think I needed self-defense classes. It's not like I wandered the streets at night or frequented seedy locations. I'm a middle aged woman with a bad knee and an aversion to the outdoors on most days.

“What are you doing?” Eli looked me up and down, shaking his head at my stance. “I'm not going to hurt you. You can put your fists down and, by the way, your thumbs shouldn't be tucked into your balled up fist. That's a good way to get them broken.”

Embarrassed, I put my hands down to my sides and gave him my sternest voice. “Do you realize what kind of trouble you're in? They think you...”

He interrupted me. “I know what they think, but I swear, I didn't have anything to do with that. I didn't like that dude, but I didn't kill him.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. In my heart of hearts, I didn't believe that Eli could be capable of murder, but at the same time, I didn't know him. My gut feeling just told me to reserve judgment until later.

“Then, what happened? How did you get out and what in the world are you doing here of all places? You didn't run very far.” I looked around to see if the security guards had spotted us yet. They wouldn't have been able to see Eli from the parking lot. At worst, I'd look like I was talking to myself. That was better than the alternative. I could be going to jail for aiding and abetting a murder suspect.

Eli said, “I've been in here so much, I know the place inside and out. It doesn't take a genius to get out of there, especially when Captain Mafioso didn't even bother to latch the door behind him. Easy peasy.”

“But you were in restraints.” I distinctly remembered fastening them as we'd been trained. “And, we took your clothes.”

He started laughing. In a whiny voice, he said, “Oh, these are too tight. They are hurting me. You're cutting off circulation.”

I rolled my eyes at him. The kid was sneakier than I thought. “So, you faked that?”

“Every last word of it. You should have checked my chart. I'm really good at doing a lot of things in the Lame House of Crazies.” He laughed again. This time louder. If this weren't so serious, I'd be able to laugh about it too, but I couldn't. I didn't want to egg him on. He was in trouble and, unfortunately, I was going to have to turn him in.

Before we realized what was happening, the guards had their weapons drawn and were making their way toward me, coming from either direction.

Eli looked from side to side, then, took off running inside the building, leaving me standing there like a fool.

“Put your hands up!” The guards yelled.

“I...” I started, turning to face one of them, but he screamed at me louder.

I complied.

When they reached me, one of them was speaking into a radio, telling the person on the other end that they'd found me and Eli Pardo between the buildings together.

“Put your hands behind your back.”

I closed my eyes. Eli left me to face the guards alone.

How was I going to get out of this mess?

“I didn't do anything wrong. I was about to turn him in.” I tried, but that didn't stop them from placing handcuffs on my wrists.

“Sure, you were. You were going to be totally transparent. That's why your little boyfriend there is hiding inside a building and your trampling through bushes again.” The guard started laughing.

Over the radio, I heard someone say, “We got him. Police are on their way.”

Another guard yelled from the sidewalk, “Great catch guys. That was awesome. Good work!”

I wanted to say something, but I kept my mouth shut. Eli stared straight ahead, almost like he could see right through everyone. I wondered what he was thinking and I prayed that I hadn't been duped by him yet again.

*

“What part of doing as you're told and stay out of trouble do you not understand? I can't believe this? Did you know he was there the whole time? Mercy, what has gotten into you?” Rollie paced around the room, seething with anger.

Outside of his office, the phones were ringing non-stop. Given the way he was behaving, I was willing to bet that some of those phone calls were from the media.

“Rollie, you have to believe me. I was only out there because I... I...” The truth wasn't going to help me much. It still made me look suspicious, so I shut my mouth.

His secretary opened the door and announced that Lou had arrived with a detective.

My life is over!

Lou had a smirk on his face. “Mercy.”

I put my head down. No point in being nice. I'm sure he was about to give me some bad news.

Rollie spoke up first, “Listen, Lou, I don't believe that she had any idea that's where Mr. Pardo was hiding.”

What? Was he defending me?

“Can you at least hear her out first? I've known her for a few years and I can't think of any reason to believe she'd be guilty of anything more than being a busy body with too much time on her hands and a lot of nerve.” He gave me a sideways glance, but I couldn't blame him. He was right.

Lou asked him to leave the room, so he could speak to me alone. He sat down in front of me.

“When did you first meet Eli Pardo?” He asked.

“I met him when you brought him in the other night.” I answered.

Why doesn't he remember that?

He sighed. “I'm going to ask you one more time. When did you
first
meet him?”

Beads of sweat formed on the back of my neck. Lou was an intimidating man when he wanted to be. “I told you, I just met him. I didn't know...”

He yelled, “How much money did he offer you?”

Money? What is he talking about?

“What money? I don't know anything about any money.” I didn't know where he was going with this line of questioning. I thought we were talking about a murder. What was he implying?

“Then, why did you kill him? How did you know Mr. Slowicki?” Lou moved closer to me. I could feel him breathing on my face.

“Kill? I didn't kill anyone. What is going on here? All I did was take a walk between the buildings to see something, then, Eli appeared out of nowhere. I don't know why he was there or how he escaped. I surely don't know anything about a murder. Why would you even think that? What evidence do you have?” I was beginning to panic and feared I'd never recover.

He smiled. “We have you on camera. You were the only person wandering around between the buildings that night. Were you scoping out the area? And, we have you on camera arguing with the victim and trying to cover your tracks.”

I protested. “No, that's not what that was!”

“Really? Enlighten me, then.” Lou's face was mere centimeters from mine. This wasn't going well.

I stared at the ceiling. I don't know how many hours I'd been lying in the same position, but I'm pretty sure that my arms and legs were no longer going to be able to function. I guess it could be worse, I could be staring at the ceiling of a cramped jail cell right now.

It had been six hours since I'd been questioned and I still couldn't shake the feeling that things were about to get so much worse for me. At least, I could be thankful that I had the night off. Maybe cooler heads would prevail and I wouldn't find myself staring at the business end of gun. What I needed to do was find the real killer or determine whether or not Eli was the real killer and perhaps some of the pressure on me would finally wane and I'd be able to return to my somewhat boring life.

I'd have to remember that I felt this way the next time my car died or I forget to pay my electricity bill again. Not that anything like that happened too often, but it did happen from time to time, especially after I engaged in another holiday decoration war with my very competitive neighbors at Lake Villa, the manufactured home community I'd called home since I'd graduated from college.

Not even my ex-husband could get me to move out of my home. But, it wasn't for lack of trying. I could be a little stubborn when I wanted to and when it came to my life, my car, my child, and my double wide beauty – my home – I had a tendency to go all Mama Bear on someone who wanted me to part ways with any of them.

“How does one find a killer?” I mused.

I'd read enough mysteries and watched enough detective shows to think I had what it took to hunt for a killer. I just wasn't quite sure where to start when all roads seemed to lead to me and Eli.

I grabbed my notebook out of smock pocket and began writing a to-do list like no other. First on the list, find out how the guard died. Next was to find out everything I could about Eli.

I figured that most of that information would be public record and I probably wouldn't have to beg too much, but stranger things have happened and it wouldn't surprise me, if I'd been blocked from accessing any information about him or anyone else in town.

Since I had the night off and sleep wasn't even a remote possibility, I thought it was as good a time as any to begin my research. What does an almost completely computer illiterate woman do when they need to research something, they ask someone to do it for them, of course.

I dialed the number after taking a moment to look at her photo on my phone.

“Hi, Mom.” Diana answered her phone on the first ring.

“How's it going?” I asked, not wanting to be rude and dive right in to what I needed her to do for me. That would come next.

“Fine. Hey, did Ruby tell you about Barney?” With all the commotion, I'd forgotten all about Barney. Poor guy! He was an old dog I'd acquired from a nursing home, I'd worked at in Nebraska. He was old, lazy and just as cute as a button. The purebred Pug was so quiet, I often forgot he was around, unless he was hungry or someone knocked on my door, which was often, back in Lake Villa where I lived.

“No, what happened to him?” I felt like a bad pet parent.

“Uncle Hank's mom isn't doing well and he might have to go to New York to see her. Aunt Ruby wants to go with him, but she wasn't sure what she was going to do about Barney.”

This was the first trip I'd taken since Barney came to live with me. Ruby and Hank loved dogs and volunteered to keep him for me, so I wouldn't have to board him, but now I felt terrible for leaving him with them in the first place.

“Shoot. Can you call around and see if I can board him someplace?” I asked.

“No, I can keep him.” Diana answered. I didn't know how she was going to accomplish that because she was a full-time student and had a full-time job as an account manager for a rental car company.

“What about work and your classes?” I asked.

“Mom, Spring break starts Friday and I can take a few days off. It's no big deal. How much trouble can Barney be?” Diana loved dogs, but it had been years since she'd lived with a dog. My ex-husband was allergic to pet dander, so it wasn't exactly an ideal experience for anyone involved. Eventually, the marriage fizzled and the dog got sick and had to be put down. That was like losing a family member. I just couldn't put my daughter or myself through that again, so we never brought another dog into the home.

“Maybe, we can go hang with you for a couple of days and duck and dodge from the police and the media.” She laughed, knowing full-well that the last thing I'd want is to have her mixed up in a murder investigation.

“You are no fun.” She teased. “Seriously, Mom, we can hang out with you and just do nothing. Don't you want to see your only child?” She always knew exactly what to say to get her way, but I couldn't be angry about it because she was the world's best daughter. She never gave me more headaches than absolutely necessary for a young girl with growing pains and she never once snuck out of the house, opting instead to play the 'I'm going to spend the night at this girlfriend's house or that girlfriend's house'.

“Okay, but I'm afraid I'm not going to be much fun. The schedule they gave me is hideous and I'm kind of under investigation right now.” I braced myself for her response. I'd tried to fill her in on the details along the way, but hadn't yet had a chance to mention the incident from earlier this morning.

“They're investigating you? I thought Aunt Ruby said that once they saw the footage, this would all blow over. What happened now? No, don't tell me. I'm going to go get Barney and we'll see you in a few hours. Text me the address.” She hung up before I had a chance to say anything else.

I looked around. There was no evidence that a dog had ever lived here.

“Great! Now, I'm going to get kicked out for having a dog here.” I said out loud.

I immediately picked my phone back up and dialed Ruby's number.

“Hey, honey. How's it going?” She answered.

After I filled her in on the details and waited for Hank to calm her down, I told her that Diana would be picking up the dog and to keep me informed about Hank's mother.

Hank, just like Ruby, was one of my dearest friends. He was the ying to my yang, so to speak. You see, Ruby and I had a tendency to be irrational and quick to react. Hank, being a level-headed psychiatrist, would work his magic on us and get us to stop and think or, more often than not, would help us to analyze how things had gone so horribly wrong. Most times, the answer was because we'd jumped the gun and reacted instead of doing something to be proactive.

“Mercy, don't let things get out of control.” Ruby warned me.

“Sometimes, I just can't help it.” I was trying to make a joke, but it wasn't funny to either of us.

I didn't want to add to her worries. She and Hank already had enough to worry about. I tried to be serious. “I'll be okay. I didn't do anything wrong. I was going to turn him in, if they would have given me another minute or so, they'd all be singing another song right now.”

“I hear you, but anyway, just stay safe and try to stay out of their way.” She said.

“Their way?” I asked. “Who are you talking about? The police?”

“Everyone.” Ruby answered. She wasn't her usual cheerful self, so things must not have been going well for Hank's mom.

“Send Hank and Mama Sylvie my love. Be safe.” I hung up, wishing I could be there with them. They had been right by my side for all of my ups and downs in life.

After I'd lost both my grandparents and my parents, Ruby and Hank were my rocks. They went so far as to cook for me around the clock and took Diana for weekends to give me time alone.

I'd lost my parents shortly after James and I had separated. They'd died in a car accident while on a trip across country.

My grandparents died within six months of each other less than a year later. In the span of about nine months, I'd lost almost all of my blood relatives. Hank and Ruby, although already my dear friends, gave me the strength to go on.

*

“I should have become a private investigator. This stuff is fun.” Diana held Barney in her lap as we sat outside of a local eatery, waiting to see the woman who may be able to answer some of my questions for me.

“What if she doesn't look the same any more?” I asked, looking at the photo on Diana's tablet.

“She couldn't have changed that much. If anything she'll look a lot better than that picture. You know what happens after you get divorced.” Diana answered like I had any idea what she was talking about.

I ran my hands through my hair. “No, what happens? You get stuck with all the bills and you don't have to watch martial arts movies anymore?”

She laughed. I loved to hear her laugh. It always brightened my day. I hated to admit it, but she was right about coming down to visit me. I felt better already, just having her here. I don't know what I'd ever do without her.

“Well, someone I know, ahem, went on this big makeover binge. She dyed her hair, started wearing makeup again, started exercising. You know, all the stuff women do to make their ex jealous.” She winked at me.

I crossed my arms in front of me. “I have no idea what you're talking about. One Zumba class does not equate to trying to make your father jealous.”

We both started giggling, until Barney decided to wake up from the fourth nap, he'd taken since they'd arrived only three hours earlier.

“What's wrong?” I looked up at the restaurant. Employees were walking out. Each dressed exactly like the one before them, in skimpy outfits that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

“Whoa! What kind of restaurant is this?” Diana asked. “When did Italian restaurants add stripper poles?”

I shook my head. Only my kid would say something like that.

“Okay, which one is she?” I asked, squinting at the women across the street from us.

“Her profile says she's five feet ten inches tall, so give or take an exaggeration or two, I'd put her at about five feet eight inches in heels.” Diana knew this stuff better than I did. Although she kept telling me that she'd never join a dating site, the way she navigated around this one, told a different story.

“Are you seeing anyone?” I asked out of curiosity.

“Mom, can you focus, please?” She answered, blushing.

Oh, so she is. Note to self: Research that later.

“There she is. Wow, she looks young!” Diana exclaimed. “Let's go talk to her!”

I grabbed the back of her shirt before she jumped out of the car. “Wait! We don't even know what we're going to say to her, do we? I mean, she did just lose the father of her children. We have to be gentle.”

Diana untangled my fingers from her shirt. “No, we don't.” She jumped out of the car and ran across the street, calling out Mike's ex-wife's name.

“Brandi? Brandi! Can I talk to you for a minute?” Diana had no fear. I, on the other hand, was having heart palpitations.

Brandi looked at her, squinting.

Ha! She's as blind as I am.

I don't care what anyone says. She may have legs for miles and the tiniest waist I'd ever seen on anything bigger than a certain unnamed blonde bimbo doll, but the eyes never lied. She had the eyes of a woman her age and, I had to admit, that made me feel good about myself.

I grabbed Barney and went out after Diana, trying my best to not look like a deer in headlights. Diana had it all under control. She and Brandi were already exchanging compliments on each others shoes.

Wonderful. Now, we're all old friends. How did you solve the case, Mercy? Oh, over shoes and a lip gloss.

Diana turned to me. “Brandi, this is my mom, Mercy.”

“Hi!” I offered as Barney fought to get out of my arms.