Counselor of the Damned (10 page)

She rocked back on her heels and stared at him. She opened her mouth to answer, because she knew one was required, but nothing came out. If he weren’t her client, she didn’t know exactly what she’d want, but she did know it would complicate her life. Starting with her job.
Best to sidestep
. “You are my client.”

He waved away the comment as he stalked toward her. “If I were human, would your weak rationalizations be necessary? I would like you to be honest with me.” He leaned in, closing the space between them to less than an inch. Only his warm breath brushing lightly across her cheek touched her, and her skin tingled in anticipation of more contact.

She resisted the urge to make that happen as she met his gaze, unable to look away. “I want to be honest with you.”

“Then admit the truth. You did not forget I was a client. You forgot I was a vampire. Admit that my tasting your blood sickened you.” His mouth went slack, showing his fangs, though she didn’t feel threatened. She admired his ability to press for a reaction, but he wasn’t going to get the one he expected.

“What do you feel, Tegonni, at the thought of my fangs sinking into your soft, delicate flesh?” He ran his fingertips along her neck in a light, teasing caress. She closed her eyes as her whole body shuddered, and she moaned.
Oh no, the idea actually turns me on
. Her eyelids flew open and she realized she had his fancy shirt in a death grip and had tugged him over the last inch between them.

“Interesting.” His face was blank of expression, but desire blazed in his eyes.

Breathless, she backed away.
Oh G—

She stopped the prayer. Calling down Matanji and the Powers was the last thing she needed.

She couldn’t believe her physical reaction to his suggestion. And even weirder, her emotional one. She didn’t feel disgusted. Maybe…curious? She hugged herself and stepped back farther.

“I’m sorry…I can’t…” Struggling to get her emotions in check, she gave him a weak smile. “Let’s just call it a night, okay?” He gave her a bow, and she turned and walked away. The heated look she’d seen in his eyes blazed in her mind as she hurried to her car.

Chapter Eight

“So he liked the dress.”

Tegonni glared at a grinning Nat over the stack of files on the conference table. She’d dodged him for most of the weekend as she agonized over the wording in her incident report for Jaime. However, he insisted on the whole story this morning as they prepared for the demon-summoning group. She’d told him everything that happened last Thursday evening, minus Fernando’s little love bite.

“You’re in love with him.”

“No!”

Nat gave her a raised eyebrow.

She blew out a breath and lowered her voice to a normal volume. “I can’t. I have to be professional.”

“Hey, I’m your friend. I want to help, not judge. Besides, denial isn’t going to make your emotions go away. The professional thing to do is be honest about them so they don’t unconsciously affect your ability to help.”

Tegonni hated when Nat went all staff-mentor on her. Normally she was the one he and everybody else came to for objective counsel. He was right. She was really off her game with this case, and the first step to fixing the situation was to be honest.

She threw up her hands. “Okay. You’re right.”

Nat nodded. “So?”

“So, I’m physically attracted to him.” The elegant, youthful lines of Fernando’s face filled her mind. Her insides went warm and liquid. She hid her reaction by taking a long sip of tea.

Nat laughed. “I think that’s an understatement. Are his looks the extent of his attractiveness?”

“Not at all. He has a rare integrity and is honorable. Partly because of the time in which he grew up. But with everything he’s suffered in his quest to escape his vampire roots, you’d think he would have said screw it and let integrity fall by the wayside. He might be the strongest person I know. He’s tortured but hasn’t lost his faith in goodness. He can still smile.” She pictured his warm and open smile with a hint of mystery, like he had one special secret he teasingly held back. Tegonni’s heart lightened. In fact, she tingled all over. Her smile faltered. “Oh no.”

Nat grinned. “I thought so.”

“Attraction can be ignored. Romantic feelings are another problem.” She smoothed her hand over her curls. “If this was an official case, I’d ask you to take over.”

He straightened the files in front of him. “I see benefits to the case being unofficial.”

“I hope you aren’t suggesting I should go ahead and get romantically involved with a client since I won’t get in trouble.”

“You have to admit this situation is out of the norm. Is that the real issue, or is he right? Can you not accept him being a vampire?”

Tegonni ducked her head, placing one hand on her forehead. “I think the problem is more I can’t accept my acceptance of him being a vampire.”

“How do you mean?”

She watched him through spread fingers. “He sort of bit me. More like a tiny nip.”

“What? Shit, Tegonni!” Nat leaned forward and lowered his voice even though none of their underlings or clients had shown up yet. “Are you okay? I hear it can be quite intense.”

“You hear from whom? Hang out with many blood donors?” Nat didn’t answer right away, his expression pensive.

“Well?” she said.

“Don’t freak out.”

“You haven’t!”

“No. Ryan did a couple of times, though.”

She dropped her hands to the table as she gaped at him.

“Both times were to help an injured vampire heal. A friend.”

“Whoa. Ryan was friends with a vampire? Start from the beginning.”

“Back when his division was tracking the…you know.” He looked away.

A wave of sympathy washed over her. Nat rarely talked about Ryan’s last case. Ryan had been hunting soul-stealers. After her recent encounter with just one, she marveled at how brave anyone had to be to go after a group of them. “Yeah, I know which demons you mean.”

“Ryan found out there was a group of vamps hunting them as well.”

“I had no idea vampires hunted other hellspawn.” When Fernando claimed he’d go after the demon that attacked her, she’d wondered if it was just chivalrous sentiment. But maybe he’d been serious.

“Vamps protect their territory. Minor hellions are one thing, but those things are way too destructive. You know what state they leave a victim’s body in.” His voice broke and a haunted look came over him. He wiped a hand over his face. “And they don’t stop until they’re taken out. The local vampires didn’t want them running amok, stirring up talk of paranormal deaths that could cause trouble for them. Point is, Ryan couldn’t have put down all the soul-stealers without Phil’s help. They were friends.”

“What did the Bounty Hunter Division have to say about that? And the Lephiri?”

Grimacing, he toyed with a file label. “They didn’t like it, but Ryan backed Phil and told his superiors they were working together. He probably would have been severely disciplined if he’d lived. I’d have preferred him in jail rather than dead.”

She reached a hand across the table and took his. “I know. So…you had no issue with him feeding this vampire? With the compelling?” She tried to keep incredulity out of her voice.

“It was only twice, so the compulsion wore off. And Phil is sired, not a bloodborn. According to him, their powers aren’t as strong. Ryan had no qualms about it, and Phil saved his life several times. That was enough for me. So no, I didn’t have a problem with it. And I don’t have a problem with you and your vampire.”

Tegonni stared at Nat, shocked. She’d had no idea her friend harbored such radical ideas. Of course, Nat would have accepted quite a lot to keep Ryan safe. Too bad Phil hadn’t been around the night Ryan crossed paths with that soul-stealer. She swallowed a lump in her throat. Ryan had been her friend too.

She couldn’t believe Nat hadn’t told her about this Phil before. To earn Ryan’s trust and respect, the vampire had been either a brilliant actor or…kind of a good person. Another vampire fighting his nature? Or were vampires in general not as evil as she’d assumed?

She refocused on Nat. His support soothed her, but theory and practice were very different. “Thanks. I still don’t know if I’m okay with it myself, but knowing you are helps.” She squeezed his hand gently. “You could have told me all this before.”

“Wasn’t my secret to tell.”

“So why are you now?”

Nat placed his free hand over their joined ones. “Because I want you to know you’re not the first Lightworker to trust a vampire. Ryan liked Phil for all of who he was. So did I.”

“Ryan was a lot braver than I am. I can’t imagine admitting my feelings for Fernando to Matanji and Jaime and telling them to deal with it. I want my job.” She thought of Fernando saying how brave she was to defy them and snorted. She wasn’t willing to risk her reputation, let alone her life.
I’m no Antigone.

“Understandable. I’m suggesting you tell Fernando. Making him aware of your feelings for him might actually help him.”

Tegonni frowned at her usually sensible co-counselor. “Whoa. Recognizing my feelings is responsible. Telling Fernando is over the line.” She stood and crossed her arms. “This isn’t like Ryan befriending a fellow demon hunter who happens to be a vampire. Fernando is my client, official or not.”

Nat held a hand up. “Just listen. Knowing that you’re jonesing for him pretty much proves
you
think he’s worthy, and it might help him believe.”

She frowned at his use of the term “jonesing” but considered his point. Accustomed as she was to focusing on the damage sexual feelings did to the therapeutic relationship, the idea of blurting out her emotions to Fernando seemed almost abusive. She took another deep breath and forced herself to calmly think through Nat’s suggestion. She’d do anything she could to ease Fernando’s self-loathing.

No normal ethical arguments held much weight in this situation. She could hardly be accused of taking advantage of her increased power in the relationship. She thought of his secretive smile. He was open, but he didn’t rely on her or accept her as being in an authoritative position. In fact, she was the one off-center when they were together. She paced away from Nat toward the front of the conference room.

Maybe admitting her attraction wouldn’t do any more damage than her shaky objectivity, but would it really help? The confession would demonstrate her support of him. Prove she found value in him personally and wasn’t only speaking from a compassionate heart. That would matter to him. But…

“I don’t want to cross the line by hooking up with a vampire. I won’t fool myself by thinking I can confess my feelings, then insist on a strictly professional relationship. He may not be interested.” She frowned at the thought. “But telling him ‘I’m into you but getting involved would ruin my career’ would completely defeat the purpose.” She gripped the top of a chair in shaky fists. “Besides, he won’t change his mind about dying as long as he still has to drink human blood.” She lowered her head to the chair back.

“Teg—”

The door opening halted his chiding tone. “Dr. Jenson, Dr. Ellis? All the clients are here and we’re ready to begin the healings. May I bring everyone in?” Melissa said.

Tegonni looked up, straightening her jacket. “Yes, thank you. Sure you don’t need to sit this one out?”

She smiled, but her fingers tightened on the doorframe. “No, thanks. I’m still jumpy, but I think pushing through is the best idea.”

Nat asked, “Ribs healed?”

“Just a little sore.”

“Helps to be injured in a building full of astral healers. Three of them were on you as soon as I got you out of the room. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Me too.” Tegonni smiled. The intern was handling the incident well.
Better than me
. Tegonni had relived it twice in her dreams during the last four days. Plus the panic episode with Fernando that had led to…other things.

“Thank you,” Melissa said. “Oh, Dr. Ellis, will you help me with Caden? He’s my other difficult client.”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.” Her hand relaxed. “I’ll get everyone.”

When the young counselor stepped out, Nat said, “Don’t think I’ll forget our unfinished discussion.”

“I know. I know.” Nat could be very persistent. However, so could she.

Gratefully putting the topic out of her mind, she turned to more immediate problems. Ten clients filed into the conference room, all of them survivors of a demon summoning gone wrong. Most looked frightened and contrite. But one, a spiky-haired young man dressed in all black, sauntered in with dull, bored eyes.

Melissa gestured for him to follow, and then approached Tegonni.

Tegonni looked him over. He gave her a defiant smirk, and she grumbled inside.
Great, another challenge. Fun, fun, fun.

* * * *

Melissa had drawn the cleansing glyph correctly, it just wasn’t working. The heavy taint of miasma radiated off Caden.

Tegonni tapped Melissa on the shoulder. “Let me try.”

Melissa vacated the chair in front of the slouching young man and Tegonni took her place. “One more time, Caden.”

The lanky nineteen-year-old crossed one clunky knee-high boot over his knee. He shrugged as he quirked black, glossy lips. “Whatever.”

Hardly the poster child of repentance. No wonder the glyph didn’t work. The boy was indifferent at best. Tegonni closed her eyes, preparing to cast a Wiccan magic circle. She silently called the corners, visualizing the element of each direction. Air in the east, fire for the south, water flowing west, and the power of mother and earth in the north. She opened her eyes and walked around his chair to mark the circle. Caden grumbled.
Well, he can just wait.

The protection of the circle wasn’t strictly necessary, since the residue couldn’t jump to anyone else, but it helped her focus and tune in to her energy. Also, after their episode with Deveroe, she wanted the extra precaution. She opened her connection to Heaven and let the energy merge with hers. All-pervading joy filled her, tingling along her spine. She breathed evenly, mentally focusing on the spot between her brows until the joy calmed to a still sense of peace.