Count on Me (13 page)

Kayden, as my best friend.

Now it seems I want more though, so I’m sitting in the bathroom stall again. The only thing missing is the girls, cigarettes and a whole lot of yelling.

I want to cry and I can’t. It’s like all the tears I’ve spent the last ten years letting spill have finally dried up and there’s nothing left. I’m not sure if I’m happy about that or not. All I know is, I’m more alone then I’ve ever been and all I want is to cry it out until it’s gone.

The door opens and I tense. He was right earlier when he said that Amy and the others were back and the last thing I need is to run into them. Until now, Kayden has done a great job keeping me p
rotected, but I ruined that when I walked away from him. He didn’t follow me which means that anything that happens now, I’m on my own for.

Bringing my feet up off the floor, I pull them into me and I hold my breath, praying that it’s not the mean girls on the other side of the stall. I’ll wait them out and hopefully they’ll think no one is here and leave when they’re done. I want it that way so badly because I don’t think I’m completely over what happened two weeks ago, though I’ve tried my best to act like I am.

“Isabelle?”

It’s not the girls, but it’s not much better. I know that voice. He’s the reason I’m like this at all. Well, p
art of it. Doesn’t he know I just want to be left alone? Hasn’t he done enough already?

“I know you’re in there. I saw you run in a few minutes ago and I waited for you to come out.”

Searching my pockets for my phone, I sigh when I can’t find it. I know I took it with me when I left Kayden, so where is it? He might not like me much right now, but I know he would come if I needed him. He’s proven that to me over the last two weeks.

“Isabelle, I’m not gonna hurt you. I just want to talk.”

Dillon Murphy. From what Kayden told me he’s the one that got Amy and the others to come after me that day. He wasn’t happy with everything he said to me, so he sent the girls to finish me off. That’s another thing that Kayden doesn’t know about. Exactly what Dillon said to me. He doesn’t even know he talked to me at all.

His tone of
voice though, it’s the same as it was Friday before Kayden came to my rescue. As much as I don’t want to open the door, prepared to stay in here forever if I have to, I know that I’m going to do it because until I get it over with, this is just going to keep happening.

It’s only when I take a few tentative steps out that I see him leaning up against the wall. I expected him to be smiling, acting like his normal self, but
he’s anything but. He looks sad, which only makes the struggle I had even opening the door to come out even worse.

“I saw you in Science the other day, you were writing to your lab partner with a pad. I hope it’s okay that I brought this.”

Sure enough, in his hands is a tiny notebook, smaller than the one that Kayden had in his car. Attached is a pen, again different than Kayden’s.

Why do I have to keep comparing everything to Kayden? This isn’t him, it’s Dillon.

He extends the pad to me and moving around me he goes to the door. My heart begins to speed up as I realize that if he does what I think he’s going to do, I’m gonna be locked in here with no way out.

He’ll have me caged in.

“I’m just gonna lock it for privacy, I swear. If you want to leave at any point, just tell me and I’ll unlock it.”

Before he even finishes his explanation
, I’ve already written out what I want to ask him first. I can’t handle the way he’s acting and I need answers.

What are you being so nice to me?

“Because what happened to you was wrong and I want to make it up to you.”

Why now?

“I told you the other day. I miss my best friend.”

That’s all?

“No it’s not all. Isabelle, I practically run this school. People expect me to act a certain way so I do it. Amy was actually the one that chose you that day in the parking lot. I went along with it because I have a rep I need to maintain. I feel like shit about it. All of it.”

That’s great for you. Are you done now?

“I guess I am. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry and I won’t do it anymore. I’ll make sure the others leave you alone too.”

Right now I’m seeing Dillon in a way that he’s never been. He does seem to be sorry and wants to make up for it. His face looks pained and as much as I want to believe he’s just playing me again, I don’t. I think he means every word of what he’s saying.

Thank you.

“Don’t thank me. I don’t deserve it.”

You’re going to tell your friends to leave me alone, so you should be thanked.

“If you say so. Look, I know I don’t have the right to ask you for anything, but do you think you can talk to Kayden for me? I really do miss hanging with him.”

This is where he loses me. He’s on the football team with Kayden and they have practice tonight, Kayden warned me about it last night before we stopped texting. If he really misses his friend that much, why can’t he talk to him at practice? Why does he want me to do it?

Why don’t you just do it at practice later?

“Because you’re probably going to see him first and it might sound better coming from you considering everything I did.”

Well I can’t come up with anything to say back to that, so I let my eyes stray off him and over to the door. A move he catches because he steps toward the door and unlocks it.

“I told you I would let you go when you wanted to leave. I meant what I said, Isabelle. I really am sorry.”

I write one final message before making my way past him and through the doo
r. Turning around once I’m back in the security of the hallway, I press the notebook to his chest and hope he gets the message.

I’m going to talk to Kayden.

Kayden

The last thing I expect to see when I round the corner is Isabelle standing directly in front of public enemy number one.

What the hell she’s doing with Dillon is beyond me, but unlike the other day when she had to text me to help; she wouldn’t have to wait this time. I was more than ready for him this time. Him and whatever sick game he’s playing.

“There you are!” I call, coming up and wrapping my arms around her, hopefully making
my position known to the asshole standing across from her. He might be trying to make Isabelle believe he’s sorry, but I knew better. This kind of leopard never changes his spots.

Dillon would always be running a scam; it’s what made him and Dean so alike. They were both snakes.

Taking my feelings completely out of it, what we did to these kids for the last four years was wrong on every level imaginable. We tortured them thinking it was fun. Sure, I don’t want that happening to Isabelle because of the way I feel about her, but it doesn’t mean I’m gonna stand by and let it happen to anyone else.

At some point we all have to grow up. Sure, high school might be the best years of our lives the way people say, but once that’s over what are we gonna have? An old football career if we don’t play college ball and a whole lot of broken people on our conscience. I don’t want that.

Maybe there’s hope for me after all.

“Are you okay?” I whisper and she nods her head. I look up to see Dillon watching us and I’m just waiting for him to
make some crack or even smile. I’m more than a little ready to pound on him again. It’s only because of the petite blonde in front of me that it hasn’t happened yet. I refuse to let her see me like that.

“See you around, Isabelle and thanks.” He says before turning and jogging the opposite way from where I’d come. It takes everything in me not to run after him considering even b
eing in the same space makes me want to hit him, but Isabelle shifts under the weight of my arms and again, I’m focused solely on her.

Whatever’s gonna
happen between me and Dillon is gonna have to wait until I see him later. Until then, I have a girl in front of me that again, I need to apologize to. I don’t think she was expecting me to show up and go all caveman the way I did.

“I was looking for you.” I say as I remove my arms from around her. When she doesn’t make any attempt to pull out her phone to answer me, it worries me. Is she still upset with me for what happened at lunch or is there something more going on?

“Isabelle, about earlier…I’m sorry. I’m not sure what I said, but I know I said something. I’m sorry for whatever it is.”

She doesn’t answer me
or even move, though her eyes are frantic. There’s something she’s trying to tell me or that I should just know and I don’t. It’s times like this I really wish she spoke. Not being able to connect with her was going to drive both of us insane fast.

“Where’s your phone?”

She shrugs and now I know why she’s not answering. Needing to talk to her, I take her hand in mine and head for the nearest classroom. We’ve got maybe five minutes before we both need to be in our afternoon classes, so I’ve got to get her to talk quick.

Grabbing a
piece of paper off the teacher’s desk and a pen from the holder, I hand it to her and pray she’ll talk. I’m not sure what happened earlier is healed and I don’t want to imagine how it’s going to feel if she doesn’t answer me right now.

“What did Dillon want?”

She leans over the desk to write and even though I feel bad for doing it, I watch her body as she does. Her shirt lifts just a little as she’s bending over and whether she’s aware of it or not, her lower back is exposed. I’ve spent the last eight years ignoring this girl, but one small view of her back and it’s putting my body into overdrive.

I’ve never wanted to kiss someone there so much in my life.

She lifts herself up and hands me the paper and before she can catch me ogling her, I shift my eyes back up, though with the heat on my face, I’m pretty sure she can tell I did something I shouldn’t have.

What is it about this girl that makes me act this stupid?

He wanted to talk and say sorry. He misses you and wishes that you two could be friends again. I told him that I would talk to you. I believe him Kayden. I think you two should talk.

As muc
h as I care about her, I hate that she’s this gullible. Doesn’t she realize that Dillon will say and act any damn way he needs to in order to get close to her again?  

I would have done the exact same thing. Hell, I would have cried if it meant getting the girl to believe me.

“He’s full of shit. He’s just doing this to get to me.”

If I di
dn’t see it happen I wouldn’t have believed it, but she rolled her eyes at me. If it wasn’t such a serious conversation I would’ve laughed. She’s not all that different from the other girls. The difference is, when others girl do it, it’s annoying. With Isabelle, it’s kind of awesome.

“I know that you want to believe him, babe. I do. Dillon is like that. He will say and do whatever he needs to in order to get what he wants. I won’t tell you what to do, but please, if you’re ever alone with him again, promise me you’ll be careful?”

She nods and I exhale the breath I’ve been holding. That wasn’t even what I intended to say, but now that it’s out there; it was the smartest thing to say. Isabelle has been treated differently her entire life, having people making decisions for her and telling her what she needs to do. I’m not even sure she knows how to make a choice for herself. I want to be the one to do that for her.

“You ready to go to class?” I ask and before I know it, she’s lacing her fingers through mine and nodding her answer.

The only thought I’m left with as I finally come to terms with exactly what she’s done and we make our way to our classes is so simple, yet hard at the same time.

I am
so in love with this girl.

Chapter Fifteen

Belle

This makes no sense at all.

I’m standing outside the office, after being handed my phone and even though I’m happy I’ve got it back, I don’t even know how it could have gotten lost to begin with. I had it with me when I walked away from Kayden at lunch and I know I didn’t put it down anywhere. I might be different from everyone else, but when it comes to my phone, I’m the same. I don’t let it out of my sight.

How did it end up in the office and who found it?

I should just be thankful it’s been found, but it worries me. Up until last year I didn’t even have a phone. I don’t know a whole lot about it yet, so everything I’ve ever said or done is still on it. I don’t delete anything. Even though our conversations are innocent, someone finding out that I’ve been talking to Kayden and exactly what we’re saying to each other scares me.

I don’t want anyone knowing that. It’s only for me.

“Here you are!”

I spin around at the sound, not even realizing that I’m not al
one anymore. I’m met with a concerned pair of green eyes, ones that considering what time it is, I didn’t expect to see again until tomorrow. He’s supposed to be on the field for practice soon, so what’s he doing standing in the hallway with me?

“What are you doing here?”

I pull my phone from my pocket and hold it up to him in explanation. Now it’s his turn to share, because not only do I need to be outside in five minutes to catch my bus, but he has to be on the field.

This is something I do a lot. I’m good with details. No one can beat my ability to memorize and remember.

“I gotta get to practice, but I wanted to make sure you got to the bus.”

My phone still in my hand, I unlock the screen and start typing. A nod or a sha
ke of my head won’t do.

You don’t have to do that.

“I know I don’t, but I wanted to. I also have something I want to ask you.”

Okay.

“Can you meet me after practice? I usually get done here around six or so.”

I don’t know to answer this. In the last two weeks, the only time we’ve actually hung out together has been at school. Well, other than the one time we went to his house, but I don’t count that. We didn’t spend any time alone. It’s always just been texting back and forth at night.

I’m not sure I want that to change, especially since I haven’t even told my mom about any of it.

I don’t know if that’s a good idea.

“Please? It doesn’t have to be for long, but I really want to see you after practice.”

Why did he have to go and say it like that? The way he says please softens me and I know I’m going to say yes, even though I don’t know how I’m going to make it all work yet. I want to see him too. At least if the way my stomach is reacting is any indication.

Okay. Not for long though.

“I swear it won’t be long.”

Before I can think of a response he’s closed the gap of space between us and his lips are pressed to my forehead. Anything I might have come up with to say goes out the window. All I can feel is the warmth of his lips on my skin. Why is it that every time he gets close to me I can’t seem to think straight?

It’s
like there are a bunch of mice running around inside of my tummy and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get them to stop.

“See ya in a few hours, princess.” He says as he backs away. It’s only when he turns away from me and makes his way back down the hall that the scurrying feeling in my stomach stops and I feel okay again.

Now I just need to figure out how I’m gonna make all this work. After what just happened, there’s no way I’m missing out on seeing him tonight. In fact it’s pretty much all I want to do now that he’s brought it up. There’s one way I can do it, but it means doing something I’m not exactly looking forward to.

Telling my mom everything.

Kayden

As I make my way into the locker room to suit up for practice, I feel like I’m on cloud nine. There isn’t anything that can get to me now, not even the eyes I’m getting from Dillon the minute I open the locker door. I’m so damn happy that I’m pretty sure I’m wearing the world’s goofiest damn smile, but I honestly couldn’t care less.

She said yes.

With everything I learned today and what I already knew, but wasn’t ready to admit to, I knew what I had to do next. I care about her and now I know she feels the same way. Sure, Ms. T warned me that she might not understand what she’s feeling because it’s another one of her weaknesses, but she still felt it and that’s all I need to know.

I can get there with everything else. I’ve got all the time in the world, especially with her.

It’s kind of crazy because with anyone else I would have never acted like this. Understanding is just not something I do. Of course with everyone else, they lay their shit out easily so there’s no confusion about how they feel about me. With Isabelle though, I want to take everything slow and do it right because she deserves that.

“Someone’s happy.”

“Yeah, I am.” I shoot back. As much as I can’t stand the sound of his voice, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I don’t hear him. “What’s it to you?”

“Chill man, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. It’s nice.”

Is he serious? Since when is me being happy nice for him?

“Yeah, it’s pretty damn nice.”

“Is it ‘cause of Belle?”

He has no right to ask me that, or even say her name, especially the way he is. I’m trying to stay chill about everything, but the way he says it gets under my skin. It took me weeks to say her name that way and for her to be okay with it, there is no way he should get to so easily.

“Actually, it’s Isabelle and yeah, it’s because of her. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“So that means she didn’t talk to you then?”

“She talked to me.”

It’s true. She told me earlier what she thinks, but I’m not buying into it and a few words in the locker room isn’t gonna change it. He might make you believe that he’s different and can be a good person, but he will never change. He’s too damn good at being who he is.

I should know. I trained him to be that way.

“Then she told you that I’m sorry right? That I miss hanging out with you?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“So can we get past this? It really is bullshit, K.”

It might be bullshit for him, but it would never be that way to me. The way things used to be doesn’t work for me now, which means I don’t think I can ever be friends with him again.

“What you did is bullshit. The way you put Amy and the other bitches on her is bullshit, but the way I’m reacting isn’t.”

“What else can I say to you? I went to her, told her I was sorry and exactly why I was sorry. What else do you want?”

“This conversation to end.”

I know I’m being a total douche to him, but he more than earned it. I’m here to play ball, that’s it. I don’t want to sit here with Dillon and hash out everything that’s happened or why I’m not cool with it anymore. I just want him to shut the hell up so I can finish getting ready and get the hell out on the field.

“If the girl I hurt can forgive me for what happened, why can’t you?”

He doesn’t say another word after that and with the sound of the door banging shut; I know he’s not even sticking around to hear the answer. As much as I don’t want him getting to me, I can’t help it. I know the answer to the question, but I’m not exactly in the mood to admit it out loud.

I c
an’t forgive Dillon the way he claims Isabelle has for a couple of reasons. One, I know who he really is and I know he’s not trying to be a better guy. He’s just trying to play a part. He’s one of the best actors I know. The second reason though, that’s the one that’s hard to live with.

The real r
eason I can’t forgive Dillon, is if I forgive him then I have to at some point forgive myself for putting all of this in motion to begin with. I might not have been the one to pick her out in the beginning, but I didn’t do a damn thing to stop it once it started.

Isabelle might have forgiven us both for the horrible things we’ve done and that’s really great, but he doesn’t deserve it and deep down, I don’t think I do either.