Count on Me (Petal, Georgia) (23 page)

“Whatever you want to do. Tell me and I’ll make it happen.”

“I just had this realization I can’t hide this part of myself from them anymore. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m going to include myself this time.”

“You should. Damn it. Caro. When you talked about not running off but being run off? Honey, I bleed for you and all this pain. You’re their whipping boy. When are you finally going to refuse to bleed for them? Huh?”

“You’re right.” Her voice was muffled by his chest, where she had her face pressed. “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Here’s what we’re going to do. We’ll go inside and you can tell them we’re leaving. Or I will. Whatever you want. Then we just walk toward the front door. Even if tizzies are being had, we keep going.”

“Okay. Let me do the talking. My grandmother might get super shrill. Mindy might weep.”

They went back in, and Caroline looked them all over, smiling at Shep. Royal had her hand, holding tight and keeping her grounded.

“I’ve had enough for today so we’re going to go. Grandma, I’ll call you this week. Shep, I’ll see you Thursday. Mindy, call me when you’re free so we can hang out.”

Her grandmother shot to her feet. “This is silly. You’re throwing a fit.”

“I’m so sorry you see it that way.” They began to walk out. Shep joined them and they kept moving. Her grandfather called her name, and she paused, turning.

“May I speak with you? Alone?”

Royal looked at her, letting her make that choice. “Royal, can you get everything loaded into the car and wait for me? I’ll be out shortly.”

“No.” Royal shook his head. “It’s two light jackets and your purse. I’ll carry it all out to the car when you’re ready to go. I’m not leaving you alone here.”

The relief and gratitude on her face nearly felled him. Royal wanted to punch every person there but Caro and Shep.

She kissed him quickly. “Thank you.”

He took her face in his hands. Tipping her up to look him in the eyes. “Don’t let
anyone
make you feel bad for what you know. You hear me?”

She nodded. She did know it. But she needed to hear it again. And from him it mattered so much.

She met her grandfather, and he guided her to his office with a hand at her elbow.

“I apologize for how this has gotten out of hand,” he said once he sat next to her on the small couch in the room.

“I appreciate that. But this happens regularly. I feel ambushed and ganged up on. I just wanted to have lunch with my family and my boyfriend. Lunch is over but I’m not staying for a heaping helping of guilt with my pie.”

“Now, Caroline, there’s no call for rudeness.”

“Grandpa, there is. I didn’t bring this up. You all did. When she came to me angry about it the first time, I didn’t bring it up either. I answered truthfully. And it didn’t stop there. Unless I leave it’ll keep going and someone will say something they can’t take back. I’m trying hard not to be that person.”

“You’re a mix of your parents. On the outside I mean. Dark hair and eyes, like his. The shape of the eyes and mouth, well that’s my baby. Your personality? That’s all Bianca. Sometimes when I watch you, I know what you’re thinking and feeling because you even emote the same way. Funny how that works. She was headstrong too. Your mother and grandmother used to lock horns. It was impressive. Bianca is one of only a few people who ever took your grandmother on. You can’t know what it feels like to lose your child. And in such a way. It changes you. Your grandmother and I made choices. Some of them were mistakes. But we love you and we love your brother and sister.”

His hands shook for a moment, a man brought to his knees by this horrible tragedy that connected them all.

She wished it was her place to comfort him, but she’d been frozen out so long it wasn’t something she felt at ease doing. It felt unwelcome, so she kept it to herself.

“No. I don’t know what that pain is like. I imagine it’s terrible. Probably like losing your mom. I respect your grief. I
share
your grief, for goodness sake. But I’m not going to allow you to extort me with it. She didn’t raise me to give up.”

“He’s dead, Caroline. What good could it possibly do at this point to keep stirring this up? All you’re doing is upsetting people.”

“No. All I’m doing is the same thing I’d do for you, or Grandma, or Shep or Mindy. If I thought you were wronged, I’d work until I made it right or couldn’t fight anymore. And also? The real killer is out there. He could be here in Petal still. Someone you bump into all the time. That’s not safe. It’s unjust and it’s dangerous.”

“So you’d just continue this folly? Knowing your grandmother and sister were so upset they cry over it?”

“Well, at least they’re there for one another when they’re upset.” Caroline winced. “That wasn’t nice. I apologize. I’m sorry you think making sure the person who butchered my mother being caught and put on trial is folly. But yes, I will continue this. She was my mother. Do you understand that?”

“I’m afraid I think you’re the one who doesn’t understand that. You bulldoze through here and tear everything up for him. But you don’t do it for her.”

It hurt far more than she wished it did. But she would not give him anything else. She walled it out and managed to sound cold and calm. “You don’t know me well enough to say that with any measure of certainty.” She stood. “And this is why I’m leaving. I have nothing else to say.”

“I wish that was true.”

She let out a long sigh. “Bye, Grandpa.”

Caroline didn’t bother with an
I love you
before leaving.

Garrett, apparently not recognizing the danger in it, approached Royal. “You need to get your woman handled.”

“Get away from me, Moseby.” Royal kept his gaze on the door at the end of the hall where she’d disappeared with her grandfather.

Shep came over. “Leave him alone.”

“She’s only going to bring you trouble, Royal. Then again, considering who you’ve been with before, maybe you like your women with a helping of trouble.”

“Do you want to get punched in the nose? You’re just making it worse.” Shep got right in Garrett’s face.

“If anyone in your family tried to rein her in before now, it wouldn’t be so hard.”

Royal turned to hold Garrett’s attention, because he wanted to be sure the other man heard and understood. “Next time I see you in town you better be with your mother or Mindy. Take a step back and shut your mouth, or I’ll make you twice as aware of my true feelings when we next meet.”

“Garrett, come help Mindy clear up.” Abigail came out to where Royal stood with Shep. “Shep, don’t you have homework?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Shoo.” She made a motion with her hands and Shep shook his head.

“I’m waiting for Caroline. I’m going to walk her out.”

“Royal, I really must insist you use your powers of persuasion on my granddaughter. Help her to understand how much damage she’s doing to her own family. Nothing is going to change. She needs to let it go.”

“Mrs. Lassiter, I understand this was a terrible thing you really don’t want to think about. But why should Caroline have to hide how she feels? She’s making every attempt to not shove it in your face. But she gets to feel grief too. And she has the right to deal with it how she needs to. Caroline has a deep sense of justice. One I do hope you’re proud of because it makes her who she is. And she’s right. I know you believe her father was guilty, but if he wasn’t she’d be right to worry about the real killer don’t you think?”

Caroline came out of the office, so much sadness on her face. But her back was straight and her attention was totally on Royal. “Let’s go.”

He wanted to pull her close and make it better, but now wasn’t the time and in front of the very people who made her feel this way wasn’t the place either. Instead he nodded to Abigail. “Thank you for having me today.” And then held an arm out for Caroline to take, which she did.

“See you Thursday, Shep. Bye, Mindy,” Caroline called out. Ignoring Garrett she turned to her grandmother. “Goodbye, Grandma.”

Caroline didn’t wait for a hug, instead she walked right down the hall to the front door, which Royal opened quickly, and out of the house. Shep jogged next to them.

“I’m sorry.”

Caroline smiled sideways at her brother. “Not your fault.”

“I hate this. I just got you back and already they’re driving you away.”

Caroline paused, letting go of Royal so she could hug her brother. “I’m
not
going anywhere. You didn’t know Mom, not really, but she taught me to never give up. No matter what, you’re my brother, and I’m sorry if I haven’t been around enough. I’m trying to make it better.”

“Promise?”

She nodded. “Promise.”

“I’ll see you Thursday.”

“You got it. Love you, Shep.”

Shep grinned and waited until they got in and started the truck before he turned and walked back to the house.

“We can call off dinner tonight,” he said quietly as he drove back to his place.

“No. I chose to come back here. I’m not going to let this run me off again. I’m not that same scared, broken girl who’d lost both parents in such a short time. I’m still sort of shocked at how it went down in there.”

“You have so much more self-control than I do. You tried so hard with them just now, and none of them but your brother gave you half a chance. What did your grandfather say?”

“He started off with an apology, but it went way downhill from there. His parting shot was that I wasn’t doing this for my parents, but myself. That I didn’t really love my mother. I think he meant it. Which, well, sucks. But what can I do? I’m done apologizing. I’m here to get to know them and I guess I have.” She snorted. “I came back to be closer with them, but I guess always in the back of my head I knew it was pretty unlikely. I don’t want to give up on them, but maybe some space is necessary. I can’t be going over there to be ambushed.”

“You can’t, no. Let them cool down and come to you. Your grandfather had no right to say all that stuff to you. Caroline, you want to build a life here and that includes boundaries that are healthy. Fuck them for trying to beat you up all the time.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. When are we supposed to be at Lily and Nathan’s?”

“In two hours. If I step on it, we have time for a quickie.”

She laughed. “I think it’s sort of awesome that you consider an hour and forty five minutes or so to be a quickie.”

“Well, you know how I like it.”

She shivered. “I do.”

“We truly can cancel. Lily will understand. She’s got her own family difficulties. I know they haven’t been the friendliest but they’re good people.”

“I’m not consumed with rage at what standoffish people your friends have been. I get it. It’s fine.”

He guffawed. “It’s totally not fine. But it’s how people are in groups, and I expect you get that part. They’ll make it up to you or they won’t be in my life. I should have stood up sooner.”

“This isn’t even an argument we need to have. I’m not mad. I knew what was happening and why.”

“I know. But seeing you get threatened the way you do drives me nuts. I want to punch a million people. Garrett better step quickly if he sees me in town. He’s been warned.”

There was an accident on the road back to his place so they wouldn’t have had the time for a quickie, even a truly short one. She had to change and try to screw her head back on right.

Royal pretty much left her alone as she got ready, which she appreciated. But he didn’t range far and frequently moved close enough to touch or kiss, which she also appreciated. If he fussed too much, she’d cry and ruin her makeup. She needed to keep herself together and he got that. It was really wonderful to be understood that way.

Truth was, she didn’t want to go anywhere. She wanted to snuggle with Royal in his bed, watch movies and have a lot of sex. But Lily had invited them, and it came before she and Anne had made peace so it meant even more.

Caroline stepped into her shoes and gave herself one last look before she freshened her lipstick.

“I think I might be getting a sore throat. I’d hate to leave Lily and Nathan’s super early. But man a sore throat? I should probably rest so it gets better.”

“Like rest with your cock in me?”

“Best medicine ever.” He winked.

Her phone got a text. It was from Melissa. “Damn, one of the windows at Mel’s house got hit by a falling tree. Took it out and part of the roof. She wants to know if we’re free next weekend instead.”

“Yeah, Saturday’s fine. Then on Sunday we can stop by Edward and Polly’s for a bit. They’re having a huge thing over there. A bunch of birthdays happen in April.”

“So I’d have to go to that?”

He snorted. “Do you really think Polly would hesitate to come find you herself and bring you over if you didn’t come?”

“She is rather spunky.” She typed back to Melissa, offering assistance if any was needed and saying they’d see her and Clint the following Saturday. She put the phone in her pocket and looked up to find him grinning at her.