Courage (Mark of Nexus) (12 page)

“What?” Wallace asked, his patience running low through our bond.

“It’s like time speeds up around her,” Cole mused. “I’m slower. It’s creepy.”

“Well, excuse me.” Corynn made a face. “You’re not the friendliest lot, are you?”

Wallace stepped out of my embrace and walked over to her. “Sorry, we’re just a little weirded out by the whole thing. It’ll take some adjusting to, you know?”

She shrugged. “I s’pose so. Who’s this, then? Your brother?”

“Yeah, this is Cole,” Wallace told her. “Cole, this is Corynn Catley.”

I turned around to find Cole directly behind me. He nodded at her, but kept his distance. “Nice to meet you.”

“Same.” Corynn eyed the two of us, scratched her head, and then turned her attention back to Wallace. “Hey, um, could I talk to you for a moment?” She coughed and added in a quiet voice, “In private?”

Wallace blinked. “Sure, uh…” He looked back to us, puzzled, and shrugged his shoulders. “Do you guys mind?”

“Tch. Like we care.” Cole stepped around me and bent down. “C’mon, Sis. I’ll give you a piggyback ride.”

My mind was still locked on the fact that Corynn wanted to be alone with Wallace. That didn’t make me jealous, did it? It wasn’t like I threw myself between them and said no.

“Rena.” Cole clicked his tongue to catch my attention and smacked his back. “Seriously, hop on.”

I blinked down at him, finally registering what he was asking. “What? No way.”

“It’ll be fun.”

Wallace just stood there, lost in thought again. He didn’t even yell at Cole for propositioning me. Was he waiting for me to leave?

Oh.

All of a sudden, I wanted out of there with a desperation I couldn’t describe. Away from the tension, away from the thought of them being alone together. I couldn’t handle it.

Cole smacked his back one more time and I complied, climbing on. My life had finally come to this. I was accepting rides from reformed kidnappers.

He straightened and grabbed under my legs. “Hold on ti—”

“So help me, Cole, if you say spider monkey…”

“What the hell is a spider monkey?”

“Never mind.” I put my arms around his neck and gave Wallace the longest, most meaningful look I could manage. From my new vantage point, we were almost eye level. He had no choice but to understand my—

The room blurred with a sudden gust of wind, and before I knew it, Cole and I were outside.

“I appreciate this,” I said, fidgeting with my skirt. “I wanted a chance to be straight with you. No distractions, no witnesses.”

Wallace stretched his long legs down the church steps and crossed his arms. “Okay?”

I blew out a deep breath and looked around. He’d wanted to have this talk out in the open, rather than risk being caught behind closed doors. After passing off a tray of meat to some guy, he led me out onto the front steps and waited. I knew that was my cue, but I couldn't bring myself to start the act. “Um…”

“What? You wanted to be straight with me, so say it.” His dark brows drew together in suspicion. “Or are you meant to be a distraction?” He straightened and scanned the crowd. “Are they here? Faye and the others?”

“No, no.” I waved my hands in front of me. “Nothing like that. I wanted to talk
because
they’re not with me. Maverick dropped me off.”

His blue eyes couldn’t have been colder as they locked on me, taking me in. “I guess I misinterpreted your anxiety.”

“I thought your powers didn't—”

“Your
visible
anxiety.”

“Oh.”
Well, shit.
“Okay, so, they want me to do this thing. And it doesn’t seem right to me, but they keep insisting on it. I mean, it’s not like I have a choice. I’m kind of stuck here for the summer, and they’re in charge.”

He leaned in, and I caught a whiff of a stormy scent that made my toes curl.
Damn.
I almost wished I could confess about my orders, and then beg for asylum.

“They wanted me to seduce you,” I spit out, not wanting to prolong the conversation any more than I had to. “Wanted me to split you and your girlfriend up, because you were too much of a threat together.”

His pupils contracted to pinpricks, and for a second, I thought he might hit me. “They
what
?”

I held up my hands. “But not anymore. See, Gail had a vision that I’d end up dead if we went through with it. She saw my headstone, and it freaked us all out. Maverick said it was probably Rena—something about her being violent. Anyway, that ended that plan.”

I hate lying, I hate lying, I hate lying…

A muscle ticked in his jaw, and I scooted until my back hit the pillar. Was this the same guy who’d nearly cried when he hugged me yesterday? Right now, he seemed too cagey, too agitated.

“N-Now I’m only supposed to hang around,” I pressed on. “Apparently, I neutralize her effect on you. They just want to keep things even.”

“And that’s it?” he asked.

“Uh huh.” I waved him off. “Look, I’m not trying to get in the middle of things. I just wanted to give you a heads-up. The last thing I need is for you or your brother to snap the next time I come ‘round unannounced.”

For the first time, Wallace’s features softened. “You honestly think we’d hurt you?”

How was I supposed to answer that? “No?”

“You’re scared,” he muttered, raking a hand through his hair. “Listen, I get that you’re caught up in the middle of something you don’t understand, but I need you to trust me on this. We are not the bad guys. Faye brought you all the way here for a reason, and I can guarantee you it’s not a good one. Stay under the radar, and wait her out. When you get an opportunity to go home, take it.”

Damn. Did he have to make everything sound so doom and gloom? A week ago, I didn’t even know supernatural races existed. Now I was not only supposed to believe I belonged to one, but that I’d been caught between the other two. “Okay…”

I leaned back and tried to control my breathing. I'd done it. I'd told Faye's lie. Maybe Wallace was right. Maybe he was on the good side, but I had to live with the bad. Somehow, I had to make this work.

“Rena wouldn’t kill you, by the way.” The lines in his forehead eased as he mentioned her. “She might get a little…
spirited
at times, but she’s a good person.”

I studied him for a moment and felt my mouth twitch. “You really do love her, don’t you?”

“More than anything.”

How on earth did Faye think I could seduce this man? He was smitten. “And you two are in for the long haul?”

Wallace nodded. “I hope so, yeah.”

Aww, man. I'd always been a sucker for a good love story. “So, when are you gonna pop the question?”

It was counterproductive, but who cared? I'd said my lines. ERA didn't need to know everything.

He recoiled like I’d thrown a bucket of ice on him. “What?”

There it was. Wallace might not be human, but he was as daft as any other man. “Hey, you leave a girl like that on the market, someone might just steal her away from ya.”

I didn’t need super empath powers to read the confliction on his face. “It’s complicated, okay?”

“That’s an excuse,” I chided. “Let me guess. You’re worried you’ll break her during a good roll in the sheets.”

Yeah, it was a joke, but I was kind of serious. Faye mentioned they were celibate when she was going over strategies to get between them—though, I wasn’t sure how she got that information. If he was really as strong as they said he was…

Ah, shit.
Wallace looked like a wounded puppy. “Relax. I was just takin’ the piss. It’s not like you two can’t do it. Let her have the top.”

His face pulsed a thousand shades of red and was easily the most adorable thing I’d seen all week. “That’s…not what I meant by complicated.”

I raised my brows. “Well, then?”

He looked down at the cement steps. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this.”

“Well, we are,” I said, more comfortable now that he’d ditched the scary mask. “So, you might as well spit it out.”

“It’s more than sex,” he explained. “It’s sleeping together, cuddling, hugging, things no one understands as dangerous between us. You have no idea how much effort it takes to keep from hurting her. I don’t know if I can ask her for a lifetime where she’s constantly in danger.”

Hell, he was serious. “Then, what are you doing now?”

He glanced up at me curiously. “What?”

I gestured between him and the random space I’d designated as Rena. “You tell me you’re in this serious relationship, and that you’re in it for the long haul, but you’re pissing yourself at the thought of it working out. Don’t lead the girl on. Talk it out. Let her decide.”

His shoulders slumped, and he leaned over his knees. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, but…”

“Just tell her how you feel,” I said. “Make it easier on all of us.” Because, really, what would Faye do if they were engaged? She couldn’t shove me on him anymore.

There was a long pause before Wallace answered, “I will. Soon.”

“Just don’t put it off too long,” I said, dusting myself off as I stood. “That would be cruel, you know? You don’t want to hurt her.”

He nodded, his eyes glazed in distant thought.

“Aww, come on, love. Don’t make that face.” The poor thing didn’t know what to do with himself. He’d been starved from human contact for so long, he viewed everything as a life or death decision. “Come here.”

I leaned down and pulled him into a hug—a far cry from our interactions five minutes ago, but completely necessary. I didn’t know what I’d do if I found myself as alone in the world as he was. “It’ll be okay,” I whispered.

A second or two passed before he hesitantly wrapped his arms around me, returning the gesture. “I swear, you’ll never know what being able to do this—to touch someone without worrying—means to me.”

“I know,” I said, patting him on the back. “Maybe someday, things will work out for you.”

“Woo!” Cole cheered. “Bet you’ve never gone this fast before.”

My stomach lurched as we took a corner. He was right. I couldn’t even make out the scenery. Everything was a blur of color and sound.

“Cole,” I warned, burying my face in the crook of his neck. My hair lashed violently around us as I struggled to squint against the stinging wind. The man was crazy. He was going to get us both killed.

I had just worked up a lungful of screaming potential when he came to an abrupt stop. “Ugh!”

I couldn’t move. My muscles were too tense, too locked in place by the sheer desire to survive. The world still seemed to buzz at hyper speed, even though I could plainly see time had caught up with us.

Kill him. I was going to kill him.

“Ready for round two?” he asked. I swear I could hear a grin in his voice.

“Shut up.” I forced my limbs apart and slid down his back. It felt like I’d ridden a horse into the ground. I hoped those tampon commercials were right about being active.

He turned to face me with amusement etched into his stupid, gunmetal gaze. “It was fun, right? You can tell me. I mean, you did make me faster.”

“Never. Again.” I tried to pat my hair down, but the tangles were too stacked. Great. A blonde, frizzy rat’s nest. Just what I needed today.

He laughed and picked a leaf out of my hair. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“It was dangerous.”

Cole quirked an eyebrow. “For me, maybe. You didn’t have someone choking you.”

“I was scared! And you almost ran over Pastor Mark.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets, lifted his shoulders, and made for the church. “Yeah, but at least you weren’t worrying about that chick showing Wallace her English muffin.”

I blinked and tried to catch up. “Okay, one, that was gross. Two, are you saying that ride of terror was to distract me?”

“Maybe.”

Huh. I might never understand the inner-workings of Nicholas Blake.
Maybe I didn’t give the guy enough credit.

“So, I’m thinking this deserves a little leeway with the whole ‘don’t touch the redhead’ thing,” he said, pointing to the face-paint table as we walked behind it.

Okay, so maybe I gave him too much credit.

We made our way alongside the church in silence. When we got near the corner bushes, he waved me back, holding a finger to his lips.

Wallace’s voice drifted from the front steps. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, but…”

Was he insane? I wasn’t going to freakin’ eavesdrop on my boyfriend. I started to walk away, but the sound of Corynn’s voice froze me in my tracks.

“Just tell her how you feel. Make it easier on all of us.”

My heart leapt up in my throat. Her, who? Me?

There was a long pause before Wallace replied in a low tone, “I will. Soon.”

“Just don’t put it off too long,” she said. “That would be cruel, you know? You don’t want to hurt her.” A few heartbeats pounded in my ears before she added, “Aww, come on, love. Don’t make that face. Come here.”

Come here? What the hell?

Wallace’s voice came in the form of a muffled rumble. “You’ll never know what being able to do this—to touch someone without worrying—means to me.”

Tears sprang to my eyes before I could stop them. It was true. A few months ago, we’d had a fight in my dorm room about it. Wallace said he’d gladly give up all of his abilities just to live a normal life. To show a woman he loved her, to be a father, to…I covered my mouth and backed away. Oh God. He was going to break up with me.

Cole looked back with an ‘oh shit’ expression. He’d waltzed us into this minefield, after all. When he tried to mouth something, I shook my head. No, I couldn’t stay here—couldn’t hear the rest of it. Before I could rethink my actions, I took off.

My heart slammed against my chest as I hastily tried to reorient myself. The parking lot was coming up on the right. I could hide there to get away from people. I just needed a second to think. That was all. A second to—

Cole appeared in a blur as I stumbled to the ground beside a blue Avenger. “Sis, I swear. I didn’t know what they were talking about. I was just being a dick. I figured we’d scare them. I never thought—”

I held up a hand and tried to catch my breath. “It’s fine, Cole.”

His brows knit together. “Fine? You should be yelling at Wallace and ripping that bitch’s hair out. Not running like some…”

I looked up through a film of tears, and with every last ounce of patience, willed him to go away. “I said it was fine. I just need a second.”

He took a step back, staring at me as if I were some estrogen bomb ready to blow. “All right, but I won’t be far.”

And just like that, he was gone.

I sat there in the parking lot, propped up against someone’s bumper, and stared up at the sky. It was too blue today; the clouds were too puffy. Didn’t they know all the shit going on down here? I was two seconds away from crisis, and it was the cheeriest freakin’ day of the year. I closed my eyes.

This was it. It was really happening.

I’d let my insecurities get the best of me yesterday. I’d pleaded for him to think things through, but I never thought he’d actually do it. I mean, hadn’t he passed when I gave him an out? Hadn’t he reassured me we were fine?

The tears finally spilled over, salting my lips. I couldn’t afford to do this now. Wallace would feel it. He’d know something was up.

But then again, maybe he should.

Rachel was right. Holding on to him wasn’t love; it was selfish. Above all other things, Wallace was my best friend. I wanted his happiness more than my own, even if it hurt me to give it to him. After everything we’d been through, he deserved that much.

I bit down until I tasted blood. There was no doubt in my mind he’d fight it, even after being so honest with Corynn. God, I wanted to blame her, but I wasn't stupid. The girl was a pawn. Yet despite whatever Faye’s intentions had been, she was also a gift—and we couldn’t ignore that.

Huh. So, that’s it. I’ve decided.

I didn’t want to give him up. Honestly, I didn’t. Unlike Rachel, I had no disillusions about my own future happiness. After this, I was done. There’d never be another man to fill the hole he’d leave in my life. I was choosing misery, but I was choosing it for him. Right?

There wasn’t enough time to think it over. He knew what he wanted, and I knew what I had to do. With a deep inhale, I opened my eyes and wiped the tears from my lashes. Now or never. I pushed myself to my feet and spun to find Wallace staring at me in horror from across the lot.

I hadn’t even sensed him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, quickening his steps to close the distance between us. “I felt—”

“Hey,” I said, wincing at the waver in my voice. “I’ve been thinking…”

The color drained from his face as his eyes locked on mine. He was pulling emotions I hadn’t even begun to acknowledge yet. “Why do I have a feeling that’s not a good thing?”

My stomach churned with acidic regret, and I fought to keep more tears from my eyes. “I don’t want to make this any harder than I have to.”

“No,” he muttered, hurt tugging at his features. “Not that. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Wallace,” I pleaded.

“We talked about this!” His eyes widened in exasperation. “I told you. I don’t care about those things anymore. You changed all that.”

Ugh.
I knew this was going to happen. He’d never choose happiness for himself, even though he'd told Corynn he could do it. The man was loyal to a fault, and it wasn’t in his best interest. If I was going to do this right, I’d have to lie.

“The only thing that’s ever worried me about us is your wellbeing,” he said. “Baby, I don’t want to be the one to shackle you to this curse forever.”

I swallowed, lifted my chin, and uttered two words I knew would haunt us both forever. “Then don’t.”

He froze. “What?”

“Don’t,” I repeated. “Let me go. The charade is going to hurt worse, the longer it goes on.”

“Charade?” he asked. “No, Rena, I love you. I just feel like we’re on the verge of serious here, and I want you to have an out. The same one you offered me, remember? If we’re going to do this, we gotta be all in.”

My face burned as I stared up at him, trying to memorize the beautiful, masculine lines of his face. “I get that,” I whispered and let my gaze drop between us. “That’s why I’m taking it.”

“You’re…” He sounded like he was trying to talk around a lump in his throat. “Taking it?”

I could feel the sob working its way through my body, wracking my chest as I struggled to keep it inside. “That’s what I said.”

“You don’t mean that.” He bent down and forced me to meet his panicked blue eyes. “Baby, you’re upset. I can feel it. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m upset that it came to this,” I snapped, trying to make my voice hard. “I’m sorry, Wallace. I really am. But we just…need to be done, okay? I can’t take it anymore.”

“Rena…” His fingertips brushed my shoulder, and I flinched away. I knew one touch, one show of affection, would break my resolve. There could be nothing more between us. This was it.

He straightened with a look so haunted I swore both of our hearts broke at the same time. “I see.”

It took every bit of my willpower to stand there and let it happen—to let my world be ripped out from under me. I would’ve given anything to cry and apologize at that point. Anything to fall into his arms and renounce my own stupidity. But I didn’t.

“Well,” he began, his voice thick with emotion, “thank you for telling me. I’m glad I…heard it from you.”

“Wallace…”

“No, I just need…air or something,” he muttered, taking a step back. “I’ll see you around.” Tears gleamed in his eyes as he turned to walk away, but it was too late. The damage had already been done. I couldn’t take it back now.

So, I did the only thing I could do—I watched him go.