Courage (Mark of Nexus) (6 page)

I pushed my chair back as carefully as possible, afraid even the slightest movement might upset the fragile world I'd found myself in. The whole party had been a series of accidents. A bent fork, a crushed armrest—nothing I could ever hope to explain. Hell, I’d barely even looked at Rena for fear that I’d forget and touch her. We had to get out of here. Soon.

“See?” Judy motioned to the leftover steaks before tearing off a piece of cling wrap. “I don’t burn
everything
.” Her eyes flashed with mirth before she leaned in close to me. “A little cremator humor.”

“Very little,” Glen chimed in, and I felt obligated to laugh.

Judy made a face. “Oh, hush. Both of you.”

Despite Rena’s embarrassment, I liked these people. They seemed like friendly, hard-working folks—almost how I envisioned my own parents would be, had they lived long enough to see fifty.

My stomach lurched, and I looked down at my watch on reflex. It had belonged to my father, and I still thought of him every time I wore it. Grandma gave it to me after the funeral, and back then, it'd seemed so big. Like I'd never be able to wear it. Like I'd never live up to him. But the day I started at Wilcox College, I tried it on.

It was a hard realization, knowing I'd grown into my father's role. With Uncle Henry in Virginia and Cole still acting out, I had become the patriarch of our little family. I had to be the steady one, the rock…

Who am I kidding?
When I slipped it on that first time, I cried like a baby. Then I put my fist through a filing cabinet.
Real steady.

Part of it was the realization that I'd grown up without Dad. With him gone, I felt so stunted. I hadn’t pictured myself becoming a man, especially one that looked so much like him. I knew it hurt Grandma to see the resemblance. Cole was lucky; he'd gotten Mom's eyes. But I was nothing more than a ghost.

So, the watch became my connection to Dad. It was my compass, my security blanket. Whenever I wore it, I felt like he was with me, watching me live this almost normal life. Going to school, dating…

Rena squeezed my hand under the table. Was I projecting again?

Drew leaned in with a grin, his eyes trained on his sister. “So, have you guys put in for next year’s dorm assignments yet?”

Don't answer that.

“Actually”—Rena scowled at him and cleared her throat—”we’re thinking of getting an apartment this summer.”

“You and Gabby?” Judy asked, as she loaded her arms up with things to carry inside. “You want to help me with a few things, sweetie?”

Her gaze settled on me.

“Oh, sure,” I agreed, jumping at the chance to get away from the table. If Glen found out we were going to live together—

“No, me and…” Rena plastered on a brave face I knew all too well. She couldn’t wait twenty seconds until I was safely in the kitchen? “Wallace.”

“You mean living in
sin
?” Glen asked, incredulous.

Judy clucked with her tongue. “Nobody calls it living in sin anymore, Glen, and besides, they’re both good kids. They’re not going to be irresponsible. Isn't that right, Wallace?”

I nodded, fighting off a sudden, irrational fear of Rena’s PTSD-afflicted father. Glen rose from the table, and I took an involuntary step back.

“We’ll see.” He gathered a couple of bowls in the crook of his arm and made for the house. Halfway up, he turned and pointed two fingers at his eyes. “But I'm watching you, slick.”

A second motion caught my peripheral vision as Drew made a shotgun with his hands. “Bang,” he mouthed.

Comforting.

“Um, last time I checked, we weren’t here to discuss change of address forms,” Brittani piped up, choosing that moment to look up from her phone. “Did we forget about the wedding coming up in seven months, three days, four hours, and thirty-two minutes?”

“How could we?” Rena asked, as she got up from the table. “Mom, let me carry that tray.”

I knew I should’ve been used to it, but the sight of Rena in a dress made me ache in places I didn’t want to think about at a family gathering. She walked barefoot through the grass, that barely there fabric catching the breeze. It teased her curves as the sun lit a halo on her hair, and I couldn’t bring myself to look away.

Until her mom shoved an empty stainless steel bowl in my direction. “Here ya go, honey.”

“Thanks,” I muttered absently, trailing after Rena with the bowl. We had to get out of here before someone got hurt. I hadn’t even made it up the hill before my fingers pressed into the bowl as if it were nothing more than tinfoil. I tried to readjust my grip, but it only made it worse. There were indentations all around the base.

“Scrunch it up.” Rena stood in the doorway, her mouth set in a firm, determined line. “Just throw it in the trash.”

I complied without question, balling up the bowl before anyone could see us. “Sorry.” I flung the wad into the trashcan.

“It’s fine.” She reached out and took my hand, and I flinched. “Come on. I wanted to show you something.”

How could she stand to touch me when I was like this? I felt like a wrecking ball.

We made our way past her discarded heels, up the creaky staircase, to the last room at the end of the hall. A small space with posters covering every square inch of real estate. My lips twitched. “Your room?”

“You did say you wanted to see everything,” Rena teased with a halfhearted grin. “I thought we could steal a few minutes of privacy.”

“I do like privacy.” I shut the door behind me and leaned against it. “What did you have in mind?”

She pressed her forehead against my chest, hiding her face from me. “Nothing specific. I just…wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m managing,” I murmured, fighting the urge to reach for her. “But we should probably go soon.”

Because I feel like I could sneeze and knock your house down…

Her warm breath seeped through my shirt as she slid her hands up to my collar. “You know, sometimes I wish I could channel your other abilities.”

“Why?”
Oh.
She was tugging me down.

I complied, and her lips found my pulse point, feathering a trail of barely-there kisses. “It’d make things a hell of a lot easier.”

My throat bobbed as I swallowed and threw a quick glance around the room.
Damn it.
What was she doing? I felt like we were about to defile her childhood.

She rose on her tiptoes and froze, hands still fisting my collar. “You’re right. I can’t do this.”

Did I say that out loud?

“You’re freaking out,” she whispered, falling back on her heels. “I get it. You’re too on edge. I should’ve known.”

Thanks a lot, Nexus.

“I love you, Wallace. I do.” Her fingertips trailed down my chest, hesitating at my stomach. “But I hate this. I make everything so hard for you.”

My brows knit as I straightened. “Well, some things more than others…”

“Be serious for a minute.” Her lashes fluttered, revealing glistening orbs. “Don’t you get how bad this is? They’re always going to be my family, and your powers will always go haywire around them—around me.”

“So?” I stared at her. “In case you forgot, you’ve been doing it all along.”

“Yeah, but now we know why,” she answered in a small voice. “It’s dangerous.”

I blinked a couple of times. “Did you forget that ‘we’re mutually dangerous’ speech you gave me back at the lake?”

“No, it’s just…” She bit down on her lip. “Look, I didn’t know what to say when we got up here. I felt guilty, and I shouldn’t have come onto you. You’re having enough issues with control as it is.”

“Dude,” I said, realizing the endearment wouldn’t charm most girls. “If that’s how you communicate when you don’t know what to say, I’m all for it. Just stop worrying about the Augari thing. Nothing’s changed between us.”

Her shoulders slumped as she turned away from me. “I know, but—”

“We’re
fine
.” Was I seriously giving her a pep talk right now? Weren’t we two seconds from making out a minute ago? I shook my head. “Believe me. Your bloodline is the least of our problems.”

“I guess you’re right.” She eyed me for a moment and let out a heavy breath. “We should probably just say our goodbyes and get out of here.”

Before I could grunt in response, her statement from a few minutes ago echoed in my mind.
“…I wish I could channel your other abilities.”

My gaze moved from her face, down to the hidden mark on her arm, and then back up. Something clicked. “Hey, why can’t you?”

It was her turn to blink. “Huh?”

“If you can tap into my empath abilities, why can’t you tap into my strength? Have you ever tried it?”

“No,” she answered immediately. A second or two ticked by before her cheeks blazed pink. “Okay, maybe like once or twice.”

I leaned back and crossed my arms. “Didn’t work?”

She made a face. “I don’t even know how I did it the first time. You were hurt, and I just…freaked out.”

“So maybe you need to freak out again,” I said. “Get mad or sad or whatever you felt back them. Think about how I was dying and—”

“I couldn't do anything about it,” she finished in a stiff voice. “Yeah, I remember.”

Hints of buried feelings started to surface, like I’d pried open the corner of Pandora’s box. As Rena’s gaze turned distant, those feelings intensified, haunted and anguished, searching for a way out. She shook her head and backed up against the bed. “No, I don’t want to do this.”

“You’re fine.” I took a step forward and held my hands up in a safe gesture. “Just try it. Once. That’s all I’m asking.”

What if she really
could
tap into my powers again? If she could arm herself, even a little, it would help. Against Faye and Elise, Maverick and Gail…even me, if it came to that. There was no way we weren’t going to find out.

“No.” Her lips pursed together as she eyed my approach. “I don’t like thinking about that night.”

“Come on,” I urged. “Just for a few seconds. Think about how she played us, how far she let things go. She’s sick, Rena. She waited until you got there to hurt me. She wanted you to witness that, to carry it with you.”

Her terror clashed with hatred and hit me square in the chest. It buzzed, thrumming with the power of wounds gone unhealed. “S-Stop.”

The pain that contorted her face got to me, but I knew we were on the verge of something big. I could feel it pulling at the edge of my subconscious—cold and desperate.

“She thought you were human,” I continued despite her protests, hating myself as I raised my voice. “She thought you couldn’t fight back. I was bleeding out in your arms, and there was nothing you could do.”

“Wallace,” she warned, as she squeezed her eyes shut. “Seriously, just shut up.”

I closed the distance between us, fighting to keep my own demons in check. Maybe I was wrong; maybe we
weren’t
ready to relive this. The pull came again, like a rusty chain being unearthed from my soul, and I fought to hold back.

God only knew what would happen if I lost control here.
Shit.
Maybe I needed to get out of this house. Away from these Augari. They had to be screwing with our bond.

Rena would just have to trust me. We were lea—

I froze. Just like that, the last piece of the puzzle slipped into place.
Trust.
I trusted this girl with my heart, body, and mind…but not with my power. On some level, I didn’t think she could handle it.
That
was the barrier between us.

Her lids lifted, revealing suspicious green eyes. “Are you done?”

Sweat had broken out over her brow, and her cheeks were flushed with emotion.
Ugh.
If we were going to do this, it had to be now. I couldn’t put her through this again.

I set an uneasy hand on her shoulder and tried to force my next words out. For the past three months, this girl had been giving me a different kind of strength—a love I’d never known I needed. If I couldn’t trust her with this part of myself, I didn’t deserve that love. It was time to let go.

“You were powerless against her.” I tried to make my face a hard, unreadable mask as she struggled to shrug me off. “Nothing more than a plaything for Faye to toy with. She didn’t take you seriously, Rena. No one did.”

Her bottom lip trembled, but she kept her voice firm. “Wallace, stop…”

“We were running out of time.” I whispered. “The darkness was closing in around me. My body was so heavy and cold. Faye was just going to watch as I—”

“I said stop!” she yelled, shoving against my chest.

The force threw me, and before I knew it, I was lying on top of the door in the hallway. There’d been a shriek, a crack, and a thud in there somewhere, but it blurred in my memory. Her silhouetted form appeared in the doorway about the same time a stampede of footsteps pounded up the stairs.

Shit.

“What the hell happened?” Glen’s raspy tone accompanied a set of work boots that stopped beside my face.

Rena stood there, horrorstricken, as her mother rushed between them to kneel at my side.

“Are you okay, honey?” Judy patted along my arms, checking for broken bones. “Someone help him up.”

I opened my mouth, but no words came to my aid. Rena had done it. She’d really done it. A strange mix of pride and anxiety swelled within me as I struggled to my feet.