When spring arrived, the snow left in a rush, and the air was soon scented with budding flowers and trees. Ella's bakery business had picked up a bit, and for that she was thankful. Mama had been managing her diabetes better, too, which meant she was able to help out more. Charlene, though still busy helping Mama with household chores, had more time to spend in the bakeshop with Ella.
When Ella stepped outside one Monday morning in the middle of March, the shrill cry of a crow drew her attention upward. Soon the birds would be building nests, and babies would be born not long after that.
Ella smiled. Katie and Freeman would be getting married in a few weeks, and Loraine was due to have her baby soon.
She shook the dust mop she held and sighed.
I wonder if I'll ever have the privilege of becoming a mother. Probably not, since I don't have a boyfriend. No, there's not much prospect of marriage for me.
She glanced up the driveway, where Larry, Amelia, and Helen were heading to school.
Guess I'll have to be content helping Mama raise my little brother and sisters.
She squeezed her eyes tightly shut.
I hope Mama never marries again. I don't think I could bear it if some other man moved in here and tried to take Papa's place.
“Are you sleeping or just holding that dust mop in your hand?”
At the sound of Charlene's voice, Ella whirled around. “I was just thinking, That's all.”
“Thinking about some fellow, I'll bet.”
“Of course not.” Ella gave the dust mop a couple of good shakes. “There is no fellow in my life.”
“What about Jake?”
“What about him?”
“He comes around here often enough. I figured the two of you might be going steady by now.”
Ella swatted her sister's arm. “You're such a kidder.”
Charlene shook her head. “I'm not kidding. I've seen the way Jake stares at you when he thinks you're not looking.”
“More than likely Jake's glaring, not staring at me. As I'm sure you've noticed, Jake and I don't see eye to eye on much of anything.” Ella turned toward the door. “We need to finish cleaning up the kitchen before it's time to go out to the bakeshop. Are you coming?”
“Work ... work ... work. That's all we ever do,” Charlene mumbled as they stepped into the house. “Why don't we close the bakeshop for a few hours this afternoon and go over to Katie's stamp shop? We could buy a few stamps and make some cards or do some scrapbooking this evening.”
“We don't have extra money to buy stamps right now. Even if we did, I don't have time to make cards.” Ella motioned to the bakeshop. “In case you've forgotten, we have a lot of baking that needs to be done today.”
Charlene groaned and leaned against the kitchen counter.
Feeling a little guilty for making her sister work so hard, Ella said, “If you'd like to visit the stamp shop this afternoon, go right ahead, but you'll have to go alone.”
Charlene's brows puckered, and she shook her head. “If you're not going to the stamp shop, then neither am I.”
Jake stuck his pitchfork into a pile of manure and quickly mounted the cart in front of the spreader. Giving his horse the signal to go, he guided the rig down the lane toward the field. He'd promised Dad he'd help him get the field ready for planting corn, and they needed to get it done quickly because the shadowy sky overhead signaled that rain might be forthcoming.
Unexpectedly, Jake's thoughts went to Ella. He hadn't seen her since their last church service nearly two weeks ago. He'd decided to quit going over to her place to offer his help so often, since he knew it wasn't appreciated. Despite the desire he had to help Ella's family, he was trying hard to stay away, knowing he couldn't let himself get involved with her.
“Not that she'd ever let me be involved,” Jake mumbled. He smacked the side of his head. “Why would I want to be involved with someone who clearly can't stand me, and why do I think about Ella so much? All we ever do is argue and get on each other's nerves.”
Jake remembered when he and Ella were children that he'd seen a different side of herâa softer, pleasanter side. She'd been cute and spunky back then, and still was, really. Ella hadn't been so defensive and edgy when she was a girl, and even though he'd never told anyone, for a while he'd had a bit of a crush on her. He'd even carried her books a few times as they'd walked to school. Ella had been full of smiles and acted like she was his friend.
I wonder what happened to change her attitude toward me. Was it because I took off for Montana to work on the horse ranch and left her cousin in the lurch? Should I bring that up and see what her reaction is, or would it be better to leave it alone?
Jake grew more confused about his feelings for Ella all the time. Something about her fascinated him. Maybe it was her spunky spirit, or it could be her pretty, reddish blond hair and pale blue eyes.
He shook his head.
No, I just think I'm attracted to her because she's a challenge. She's like a wild, untamed horse that needs to be broken.
Not that he wanted to break Ella's spirit. He just wished he could get her to lower her defenses.
Determinedly, Jake pushed Ella to the back of his mind. He needed to think about something else.
His thoughts went to Kyle, who had asked Jake if the two of them could go fishing after school. Knowing he needed to give Kyle more of his attention, Jake had agreed. As soon as Kyle got home from school, if it wasn't raining, they'd head out.
“Sure can't wait to show Larry the fish we caught in his pond,” Kyle said as he and Jake walked across the field behind the Yoders' place that afternoon.
“You should have invited Larry to fish with us; then you wouldn't have had to compete with me.” Jake thumped his brother lightly on the head. “I did catch the biggest fish, after all.”
Kyle snorted. “That's only 'cause you got lucky when that big old fish snagged your line.”
Jake chuckled. “What can I say? He must have liked my bait.”
When Jake and Kyle entered the Yoders' yard, he spotted Ella taking clothes down from the line. Before he had the chance to say anything, Kyle bounded up to her and announced, “Guess what? My bruder caught the biggest fish I've ever seen, and he took it outa your pond!”
Ella quirked an eyebrow. “Is that so?”
Kyle bobbed his head and grinned. “Show it to her, Jake. Show Ella that big old fish you caught!”
Jake reached into the plastic sack he'd brought along and withdrew the fish. “What do you think?”
Ella gasped, and her cheeks flushed a deep crimson. “Th-that fish was never meant to be caught!”
Jake's forehead wrinkled as he stared at the fish. “What do you mean?”
“It's a plecostomus. My daed put it there last spring to keep the pond clean.”
“What's a plecoâwhatever you called it?” Kyle asked.
“It eats algae and can grow up to two feet long.” Ella motioned to the fish. “It's also known as a suckermouth catfish.”
Jake groaned. He felt like a dunce. “I thought I'd caught a plain old catfish. If I'd had any idea it was a suckermouth, I'd have thrown it right back.”
“You should have asked before you decided to fish in our pond.”
“Guess maybe I should have, but I've seen other people fish there, so I figured you wouldn't care.”
She dropped the towel she held into the clothes basket and slapped her hand against her hip. “Well, you figured wrong!”
Kyle, who stood at Jake's side with a worried expression, gave Jake's shirtsleeve a tug. “I think we oughta go, don't you?”
Jake didn't want to go. He wanted to make Ella see that she was making too much out of him fishing without her permission. And she ought to realize that he hadn't caught the suckermouth on purpose.
Kyle gave Jake's shirtsleeve another tug. “Are we goin' or not?”
“In a minute.” Jake moved closer to Ella. “How much did you pay for the plecostomus? I'll pay you whatever it's worth.”
“I have no idea what Papa paid for the fish. Even if I did, I don't want your money.”
“How come?” Kyle asked before Jake could respond.
“Because your bruder has given us enough already.” Ella bent down, lifted the clothes basket into her arms, and stomped off toward the house.
“Guess you're in big trouble with Ella, huh, Jake?” Kyle asked. Jake nodded. “Jah, but then That's nothin' new.”
By the time Ella entered the house, she'd worked herself up so much that she could barely breathe. Jake had a lot of nerve fishing in their pond without asking! As much time as he'd spent fishing over the years, he ought to know the difference between a regular catfish and a suckermouth!
“What's that long face all about?” Mama asked when Ella entered the kitchen and placed the basket of clothes on the table.
Ella told Mama how Jake had caught the plecostomus and mentioned how angry she'd been when he'd told her about it.
“It doesn't sound to me as if Jake caught the fish on purpose, and I don't think you should have made such an issue of it.” Mama shook her head. “I'm not sure how much good that fish did for the pond anyway. The last time I looked, there was quite a bit of algae in it.”
Ella frowned. “Well, it was a waste of a perfectly good fish. I don't think it's edible, so Jake's getting just what he deserves ... a worthless suckerfish!”
Mama blew out her breath and rolled her eyes, looking thoroughly disgusted. “I don't know what's happened to my carefree girl, but ever since your daed died, you've been negative and edgy.” She shook her finger at Ella, the way she'd done when Ella was a girl. “Jake's been nothing but helpful to us. I think you ought to apologize for getting so upset about the fish.”
“Me, apologize to him? Oh, Mama, you don't know how many irritating things Jake's said to me since he came back from Montana. He's never said he was sorry, either. Not even once.”
“Jake might not be aware that he's said or done things that have irritated you.”
“I'm sure he's aware of it, all right. I think he does certain things just to irritate me.”
“Whether That's true or not, the Bible tells us in Matthew 7:12 that we are to do to others as we would have done to us.” Mama motioned to the Bible she'd left on the table after they'd had their devotions that morning. “Matthew 6:14 reminds us that if we don't forgive others, our Father will not forgive us.”
Ella nodded slowly. “I know that Mama, but with Jake...”
Mama held up her hand. “In God's eyes, Jake's no different than anyone else. It's God's will that you forgive him.”
Ella's face heated with shame. She knew Mama was right. She also knew she was being petty and overly sensitive about the plecostomus. “I'll apologize to Jake the next time I see him,” she said.
Jake dropped his brother off at home, and then he got his horse and buggy and headed over to Crist's taxidermy shop with the fish. He figured since he'd caught the dumb thing and couldn't eat it, he may as well have it stuffed.
When Jake stepped into the taxidermy shop, he was surprised to see Wayne working there instead of Crist.
“Where's your daed, and how come you're here and not in your woodshop?” Jake asked as he stepped up to Wayne.
“Pop took Mom to see the chiropractor. Her back kinked up last night when she was getting ready for bed.” Wayne motioned to the deer hide on the workbench in front of him. “So I told Pop I'd work here while he's gone, and I put Lonnie in charge of my shop.”
“Oh, I see.” Jake removed the plecostomus from the plastic bag and told Wayne how he'd accidentally caught it, including the part about how mad Ella had become when he'd told her about it.
“You know Ella,” Wayne said as he rubbed the side of his nose. “She's always gotten upset easily. It's just in her nature.”
“Tell me about it. But I think she gets more upset with me than anyone else.” Jake pointed to the fish. “So can I leave this with you to have it stuffed? Thought it'd make a nice little trophy to hang on the wall.”
Wayne shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
Jake leaned against one end of the workbench, and after they'd visited about a few others things, he picked up a stuffed squirrel sitting on the shelf behind him and tossed it into the air like it was a baseball.
Wayne snickered and shook his head. “Are you ever gonna grow up and quit fooling around?”
“Beats me.”
“You'll never find a woman if you keep acting like a
bensel.
”
Jake frowned. “I'm not a silly child, and I'm not lookin' for a woman, so I should be able to act any way I want.”
Wayne lifted his gaze to the ceiling. “I think we'd better change the subject.”
“Good idea.” Jake placed the squirrel back on the shelf. “What's new with you these days?”
“Not a whole lot. Loraine and I are just waiting patiently for the boppli to make its appearance.” Wayne pulled his fingers through the ends of his beard. “Speaking of babies, Tripod, that pet ewe of mine with only three legs, gave birth to twin lambs this morning. Would you like to go out to the barn and take a look?”
Jake nodded, but before they could make a move to leave the shop, Loraine rushed into the room with a worried expression. “I've been in labor for the last few hours.” She touched her bulging stomach. “I think it's time to go to the New Eden Care Center, because I'll soon have this boppli.”
When Lonnie pedaled his bike up the driveway leading to the schoolhouse, he noticed some of the scholars were taking advantage of the nice weather to play an after-school baseball game. What took him by surprise was seeing Jolene standing near second base. Had she forgotten about their lesson, or had she just gotten caught up in the game?
Lonnie had kept an emotional distance from Jolene ever since he'd given her the bird feeder for Christmas. He'd been on the verge of asking her out that day, but after Jake had shown up with his gift for Jolene and Lonnie had seen her response to it, he'd chickened out and changed his mind. It was probably better that way, since he really had nothing to offer her.
Lonnie moved closer to the baseball field and watched as Kyle Beechy stepped up to home plate, wearing a determined look on his face.
Fifteen-year-old Daniel Stoltzfus was the pitcher, and he threw the ball right over the plate.
Kyle swung the bat hard but missed. He gritted his teeth and took his stance again.
Daniel took aim and threw the ball once more. This time Kyle hit the ball with such force that it sailed over the pitcher's head and landed clear out in center field. Several boys scrambled for the ball, but by the time James Smucker had picked it up, Kyle was halfway around the bases. Unless someone acted fast, he was sure to make a home run.
James quickly threw the ball toward second base. Jolene, however, wasn't looking his way and didn't see the ball coming.
Lonnie cupped his hands around his mouth and hollered, “Look out, Jolene!”
Of course, she couldn't hear him, and he was too far away for her to read his lips.
The ball smacked Jolene's knee with such force that she crumpled to the ground.
Lonnie raced onto the field and dropped down beside her.
“Hold still. Your leg might be broken,”
he signed.
“I'm sure it's not broken; I think it's just bruised.”
Jolene grasped Lonnie's arm and slowly rose to her feet.
Everyone clambered around. Lonnie felt frustrated because they all seemed to be talking at once, and he couldn't make out what anyone was saying.
Finally, Jolene held up her hand to quiet them. Then with a brave smile she said, “I'm fine. Lonnie will help me into the schoolhouse. Go on with your game.”
As Lonnie walked beside Jolene, letting her lean on his arm, he thought this was just another example of why he could never consider asking her to marry him. It would be difficult enough for a deaf person to be married to someone who could hear, but if two deaf people got married, it was just asking for trouble. How could either of them be good parents? What if they had children and one of them called for help? Beyond that, what if Jolene betrayed him the way Carolyn had done? So many unanswered questions all led to one thing: He'd stupidly allowed himself to fall in love with Jolene.
When they entered the schoolhouse, Jolene gasped at the stark emotion she saw in Lonnie's eyes. Her heart pounded with sudden hope. Maybe he cared about her as much she cared for him. If he did, he'd sure been keeping it to himself. Ever since Christmas, he'd only come around when he needed a lesson, and he never said much to her of a personal nature. The day he'd given her the bird feeder as a Christmas present, she'd hoped he might ask her out. Instead, soon after Jake had shown up, Lonnie had rushed out the door.
Maybe it's a good thing I'm not going out with anyone,
she told herself.
Men are hard to figure out, and I've got enough to deal with just teaching school.
“If your leg's hurting too much, maybe we should forget about my lesson today,”
Lonnie signed, pulling Jolene's thoughts back to the present.
She shook her head.
“I'll be fine. I don't think I should try to tackle the stairs, though. If you don't mind, we'll have our lesson down here in Fern's classroom.”
“I don't mind.”
Lonnie pulled out the chair at Fern's desk, and Jolene took a seat.
“Should I go upstairs and get the hand mirror?”
“Yes, please.”
“How about some ice to put on your knee?”
“That'd be good. There's an ice pack in my lunch box.”
Lonnie hesitated a few seconds; then when she waved him on, he hurried from the room. He returned a few minutes later with the mirror and Jolene's lunch box. When he handed it to her, the gentle, caring expression on his face was almost her undoing.
She fought the urge to tell him how much she'd come to care for him, but that would be too bold. Unless he made the first move, she would keep the feelings she felt for him locked away in her heart.
When Jake stepped into the taxidermy shop, Crist turned from the job he was working on and offered him a friendly smile. “Afternoon, Jake. If you came to check on your fish, I'm afraid it's not ready yet.”
“No, I didn't think it would be done this soon. Came to see Wayne and find out whether Loraine had her boppli.”
Crist nodded enthusiastically. “She had a baby boy two days ago. She and the little guy are doin' real well.” He glanced out the window. “Wayne's probably working in his shop, but Loraine, Ada, Priscilla, and the boppli are up at the house if you'd like to stop in and say hello.”
“Maybe some other time. I just stopped by to find out if she'd given birth, and I wanted to know if everything went okay. I'm sure my mamm will expect a full report when I get home.”
Crist chuckled. “Most women are like that, all right. I know my Ada sure is. Nothing much goes on in this community without her knowing it.”
“Speaking of Ada,” Jake said, “when I was here the other day Wayne said she was having trouble with her back. Is she feeling better?”
“Jah, the chiropractor fixed her right up.”
“That's good. Well, guess I'd best be on my way. I have one more stop to make before I head for home.” Jake turned toward the door. “Tell Wayne I said congratulations on becoming a daed.”
“I will.”
Ella had just put the Closed sign in her bakeshop window when the door swung open, nearly knocking her off her feet. Her heart pounded when she saw that it was Jake.
“I'm just closing. But if you really need something, I can stay open a few more minutes and get it for you.”
“I don't need anything this time.” Jake shifted his weight from one foot to the other then leaned against the display counter as he stared inside.
“Are you sure you don't want something? Chocolate chip cookies are on sale this week.”
“Sounds good, but I'd better not.” Jake patted his stomach. “Can't afford to get fat if I'm gonna have the energy to keep training horses.” He cleared his throat a couple of times. “Actually, the reason I stopped by is to sayâ”
“I'm sorry,” Ella blurted out.
Jake tipped his head. “What was that?”
“I said, âI'm sorry.'”
A funny little grin spread over Jake's face. “That's exactly what I was going to say.” He stepped closer to Ella. So close that she could feel his warm breath on her face. “What is it that you're sorry for?”
The gentleness in Jake's voice surprised Ella. She swallowed a couple of times and wiped her damp hands on the sides of her apron. “I'm ... uh ... sorry for the way I acted when you told me you'd caught our plecostomus.”
His grin grew wider. “You were pretty mad about that.”
She clenched her fingers against her sides. Was he trying to goad her into another argument? “What are
you
sorry for, Jake?”
“I'm not sorry for catching the fish because it wasn't my fault that the critter took hold of my bait.” He took another step toward Ella. “But I am sorry that I didn't take the fish off my line and put him back in the pond.”
She shrugged. “What's done is done. Let's just forget about it, shall we?”
“I can't really forget about it because I took that old sucker catfish over to the taxidermy shop to have it stuffed. When it's done, I thought I'd bring it over here so you can hang it on your wall.” Jake looked quite pleased with himself. Did he really think he'd done a good thing?
“What are you trying to do, Jake, rub salt in my wounds?”
“'Course not. I just thought...”
“Oh, I know, you expect me to put in on my wall so that every time I look at it I'll remember how you killed our fish!”
Jake's eyebrows furrowed. “Are you saying you don't want the fish?”
“That's exactly what I'm saying!”
He took two steps closer ... so close, they were almost touching noses. “Fine then, I'll take the fish and hang it on
my
bedroom wall!”
“That's a good idea; you do that, Jake!”
“I will!”
Jake continued to stare at Ella; then, in a surprise gesture, he reached out and tipped her chin up with his thumb.
Ella was surprised by the wild flutter of her pulse when he touched her. She stood motionless, caught up in the moment. Her heart thumped so hard she could barely breathe.
Slowly, Jake lowered his head and captured her lips in a kiss so tender and sweet that it stole her breath away. As the kiss continued, Ella wrapped her arms around Jake's neck.
Suddenly Ella pulled away, heat flooding her face.
“S â sorry about that,” Jake stammered. “I-I'd better go.” He stared at her a moment longer, as though trying to memorize her face, then turned and rushed out the door.
Ella flopped onto the stool behind the counter and closed her eyes.
Dear Lord, please make me strong. Help me not to lose my heart to Jake all over again.