Covet (10 page)

His lips stretched into a cold smile. “With Savannah’s mother, I had the assistance of a charm her mother created for me—a spell that only Savannah’s grandmother knew, which dampened the bloodlust and made it bearable. And in the forest with the Clann, it is true that I managed not to attack anyone, but it was a great struggle not to. If I had been younger, I might not have had the control to stop myself.”

I turned my head to stare at the empty black opening of the fireplace. “So I wouldn’t be able to be around my family for a while.”

“If it even worked. Unfortunately, it is impossible to successfully turn a descendant.”

I stared at him again. “I’ve heard the stories. I don’t believe them. They’re just lies to keep descendants from trying to become vamps.”

He was gone and back so fast I felt a breeze, returning to stand by the coffee table with a knife and two saucers. “I will prove it is the truth. Cut yourself, just a little, please, and catch the blood in a saucer. Then add my blood to yours and see what happens.” He sliced his finger, and a dark red puddle rapidly formed in one saucer. Then he handed me the knife, his finger already healed as if it had never been cut in the first place. “When you are done, we will continue this discussion outside.”

Then he was gone, leaving the front door open. Apparently he didn’t want to test his control around a bleeding descendant. Was it really
that
big a problem?

I cut my finger like he had, letting the blood drop onto the clean saucer. When the pool was roughly the size of a dime, I used the knife to scrape up a few drops of his blood from the other saucer and drip it into mine.

I’d thought he and everyone else had been lying. But when I saw the two combined types of blood turn into one thick, gooey black circle that smelled like rotting roadkill left in the sun, then sizzle and give off tendrils of smoke, I knew it wasn’t a myth. And that was from a few drops of vamp blood. What would more vamp blood do inside a descendant’s body?

There was no way to turn me into a vampire.

I noticed a piece of paper stuck to the back of the saucer. A Band-Aid. I tore its thin wrapper open with my teeth and covered the cut on my finger, then headed out to the porch on shaking legs.

“If you knew, why bother telling me what being a vamp is like?” He’d been toying with me since I got here, making me think I had a shot at becoming a vampire and being with Savannah forever. If he hadn’t been her father, I would have been tempted to punch him.

“So you would know just how impossible it is for you two to be together.”

I stared at the street lamp, its light throwing long shadows across the yard.

Sheer desperation made me say, “There has to be a way we can be together. If you love her, tell me what to do, what to say to make them change the rules. You know it can be done. You did it yourself. You married her mother. Give us the chance to have that, too.”

“But it did not work. Even after Savannah’s mother was kicked out of the Clann, our union was a danger to the peace treaty because of what it produced.”

“You mean Savannah.”

He nodded. “You two could produce another dhampir like her if she does not fully turn vampire first. And the council, as well as the Clann, will never allow that to happen again.”

An image flashed before me of a little girl with curly red hair like her momma. And maybe green eyes like her daddy. I’d never thought about being a dad someday, but something clenched in my chest all the same, making it hard to breathe.

Mr. Colbert didn’t seem to notice. “That child would be a danger to vampires and descendants alike, even more than Savannah is. Like Savannah, it could grow into a fully immortal vampire with its father’s legendary Coleman magical abilities, or into the next Coleman witch with the speed, strength and agility of a vampire. Either way, it would present enormous risks. Risks that the council—and I am sure the Clann—will never consider acceptable.”

I couldn’t be turned into a vampire. And as long as I was still human and Savannah could still have kids, the Clann and the council wouldn’t let us be together. “What happens if she fully turns?”

“There will still always be the risk that she could end your life. Your parents will not care whether you are a member of the Clann. You will always be their child, and they will do whatever is necessary to protect you.” He turned to me now, placing a hand on my shoulder. “If there was a way for you and my daughter to be happy together, I would do everything in my power to assist you. But there is no way the rules will be changed for you. And I can promise you from experience that even the strongest of love cannot long survive being on the run, or some of the tactics either side might employ in an attempt to draw you out of hiding.” His hand fell away. “The constant hiding alone drove Savannah’s mother away from me.”

I wanted to believe he was wrong, that things would be different for Savannah and me. That what we had together could survive anything, including being on the run from the council and the Clann.

But what if he was right? The Clann had already taken Sav’s grandmother from her. Would my parents be desperate enough to go after Sav’s mother next? Or her father? Would the vamps go after Emily to get to me?

Savannah and I could never live with ourselves if any of that happened. Savannah was struggling to deal with her grandmother’s death as it was.

And that’s when it hit me. There was nothing left to try. The Clann and the council were going to get their way, no matter how much Savannah and I wished otherwise.

No amount of football game losses could have prepared me for the crushing defeat that slammed me now. I’d never been in this situation before. I’d always been able to find a way to get what I wanted in life. Not because I was spoiled, as Emily teased me, but because Dad had always said if you wanted something enough and kept working at it, you’d find a way.

He was wrong. The one thing I wanted more than anything else in life was to be with Savannah. But I couldn’t. Not now, and if her father was to be believed, not ever. Not as long as the Clann and the council hated and feared each other.

I made my feet carry me down the porch steps to my truck, and then I headed for the prison that my home had become.

CHAPTER 6

SAVANNAH

Tristan had given up.

Until that moment, I hadn’t realized just how much faith I secretly had in him. Tristan was a fighter at heart, and he almost always got what he wanted. He wanted us to be together again, so if there was a real solution, he would find it.

Except this time he obviously hadn’t.

He didn’t have to tell me it was truly over. I could feel the frustration and despair rolling off of him every time we passed each other in the main hall between classes. I could see it in the bleakness in his eyes, in the defeated slump of his shoulders. And most of all in how he couldn’t seem to look me in the eye anymore.

It was over.

I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t the end of the world, that maybe someday my heart would heal and I’d find someone new.

When the lies didn’t work, I tried to throw myself into school and Charmers stuff with the hope that, if I could just stay busy enough, then eventually I would find a way to breathe deeply again without that aching need to cry.

There wasn’t a real sense of time passing over the next few weeks while I waited for our sophomore year to end. At home, I filled every spare second by helping Dad remove old wallpaper and flooring in the house. Unfortunately, this still left me with far too much free time now that the Charmers Spring Show and team auditions had passed. Team auditions day had been the one day when I actually hadn’t had a single free moment for four blessed hours, as I’d had to shoulder all the manager workload while both of my fellow sophomore managers successfully re-auditioned for the team. I tried to be happy for them, and happy that it left me as the only choice for head manager for next year. Most of all, I tried not to regret the fact that the vamp council had banned me from ever dancing in public again so I wouldn’t accidentally reveal my vamp side to humans. I doubted I could even remember how to dance now anyways.

In March, the team also held officer auditions. Mrs. Daniels had me stay late after school that day to run the music while she and two judges scored the candidates on their officer solo and group routines. Bethany Brookes became one of the junior lieutenant officers, which didn’t surprise anyone. She was a good leader for the team, always willing to help others, always so happy and sweet and outgoing. It was like she had this perpetual ray of light beaming on her everywhere she went. Probably why her nickname on the dance team was Lil Miss Sunshine.

I wished I could be like her. But everything about my life was the polar opposite of hers. While Bethany was spinning in the spotlight, I was huddled in the dark backstage, and I couldn’t find a way out. I wanted to be the girl I was a year ago, before I got sick and learned all my family’s secrets, before I took a chance and let myself fall for a boy I could never have. Before Nanna died, and Mom was gone all the time on the road.

But I couldn’t go back, and I couldn’t change what I’d done or stop what I was now becoming. All I could do was fake a smile for my friends at lunch every day and pretend everything was all right.

And make sure I never looked back over my shoulder at the Clann table or the boy I could never be with again.

“Savannah?” Anne asked, her voice louder than usual in the cafeteria.

I jumped, knocking over my drink in the process. We all dived for napkins to sop up the spill while I muttered apologies. Well, there went my liquid lunch. All other food smelled too gross to eat lately.

“Are you in?” Anne repeated once Lake Savannah was managed on the table.

“In?” I stared at her in confusion. I really needed to stop spacing out so much around others.

“To go shopping this weekend,” Michelle answered, staring at me. When I didn’t answer, she added, “For dresses for the semiformal spring dance? We’re going to the mall in Tyler this Saturday.” Her tiny frame practically bounced in her seat.

A semiformal dance? Why would I want to go to that?

Carrie stared at me as if I were a new species of germ under a microscope.

Anne just rolled her eyes. “Earth to Miss Space Cadet. The dance is in two weeks. We’re all going. Including you.”

Cringing, I opened my mouth to argue.

Anne shook her head, her chestnut-colored ponytail swinging wildly. “No way, don’t even think about bailing on me. These two have dates. I don’t. Therefore you will be coming with me. I am not standing on the sidelines alone the whole night.”

“Then why go—” I began.

“For the dresses, of course!” Anne grinned. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. Even tomboys like me enjoy playing princess every once in a while.”

Carrie snickered.

Anne ignored her. “Come on, Sav. You never do anything with us anymore. Just because we’re not cool like your precious Charmers…”

It was my turn to groan and roll my eyes. “Don’t start with that again.”

Anne bared her teeth in the semblance of a smile. “Then don’t make me! Come shopping with us. Come to the dance. Pretend to be human again for a change.”

I froze. Did they know…?

No. No way could they guess my secrets. I was just being paranoid.

But maybe, just to be safe, I should try harder to fit in and be normal. “Fine.” I sighed, already regretting giving in. “Let’s go shopping this weekend.”

Michelle squealed and started raving about some prom magazines she’d bought to help prep us for the occasion. I nodded and tried to look interested.

Suddenly, the full meaning of Anne’s words registered with me.

“Wait a second.” I turned toward her. “Why aren’t you going with Ron?” She and Ron Abernathy had been dating for months, just like Tristan and me. In fact, their first date had been at the Charmers’ masq ball last October.

Where Tristan and I had danced together outside in the leaves, the full moon’s light making his fake knight’s armor shine as if it had been plated in real silver…

“…so we’re not seeing each other anymore,” Anne finished in a mumble.

I’d spaced out again and missed hearing her answer. Geez, I was a crappy friend lately. “I’m sorry, it was too loud in here. What did you say?”

Anne stared at me then shrugged. “I said he and I got into an argument and I broke up with him. We’re not together anymore.”

“What was the fight about?”

Anne gathered up her things. “It was…family stuff. I really don’t want to talk about it. And the bell’s about to ring anyway. Come on, let’s go.”

I opened my mouth to argue but the bell rang, cutting me off. Then I got a good look at the set of Anne’s chin. Stubborn as she was, I wouldn’t get anything more about it from her today.

Obviously something major had happened that I’d missed either because I hadn’t been paying attention or she hadn’t wanted to tell me. When had she broken up with Ron? Had she been upset and I hadn’t even noticed? Had she tried to call to talk about it?

I caught up to her at the trash cans. “Anne, wait. At least tell me when you broke up with him.”

She took her time pouring her soda into the trash. “It was the week after your grandma…”

Oh. So that’s why I hadn’t heard about it. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. That week was—”

She gave a quick shake of her head. “Don’t worry about it. I would have been out of it, too. Ready for third period?”

Part of me wanted to push her harder, find out what had happened. She had seemed completely blissed out every time Ron was around. What had changed?

Then again, who was I to try and pry the details of a painful story out of her? It wasn’t like I’d told her anything about my own breakup with Tristan. Or how Nanna had really died, or my family’s many secrets....

Yeah, I was definitely in no position to be nosy.

But it was one more thing between us pushing our friendship apart, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

And yet, I had to try.

* * *

I did my best to stay in the present and pay attention that Saturday when we all went dress shopping in Tyler, first at the mall then at several boutiques Michelle had looked up. I wanted to care about dresses and hairstyles and the merits of gold jewelry versus silver and rhinestones versus pearls. Maybe if I pretended hard enough, I could forget about the reality of my crazy, messed-up life and be normal again, at least for a little while. And maybe then the growing distance between me and my friends would disappear.