Covet (5 page)

She spent as little time as possible at the house, and rarely if ever ate a meal here. During the first week she’d lived here there had been Chinese takeout on the kitchen counter when she’d arrived home from work, and Michelle had urged her to help herself. Debbie had promptly complained for the next half hour about how expensive food was, how much things cost, how money didn’t grow on trees. Tessa had felt so guilty that she’d been compelled to offer Debbie some money for the small portion she’d consumed, even though Michelle had later cautioned her not to do that again.

“Hey, she’s getting several hundred dollars a month towards your care,” she’d pointed out. “That’s supposed to help feed and clothe you. How much money has she given you so far to put gas in your car or buy clothes?
”

Tessa had shrugged. “None. But I didn’t expect that. I’m just grateful she took me in.
”

Michelle had snorted scornfully. “Don’t be grateful. Sorry, but to my mother you’re just a business transaction, a way to make a few bucks that she can piss on new shoes or going barhopping with her friends. You’re entitled to eat whatever you want here, so don’t give her money again. She already gets plenty of money to pay for your food
.”

But Tessa had been so intimidated by Debbie’s displeasure that she had never eaten with the family again, despite Michelle’s insistence. On weekdays she continued to eat breakfast and lunch at school, and would grab a quick snack at the mall during her break from work in the evenings. For the weekends, she’d buy some basic groceries like cereal, peanut butter, and ramen noodles, or occasionally order a pizza or other takeout with Michelle on the nights Debbie went out.

When she was at home, she mostly closeted herself away in the bedroom studying and doing homework, and kept out of Debbie’s way as much as possible, especially on the evenings when Michelle had a date. Michelle had tried more than once to persuade Tessa into going out with her and her current boyfriend, but she always refused gently, not wanting to feel like a third wheel. Besides, while Michelle’s boyfriend – Denny – was nice enough, he made her feel a little uncomfortable at times when he stared at her a bit too long or intently. She’d met a couple of Denny’s friends, too, who had all left her with a very unsettled feeling, and she’d quickly discouraged Michelle from trying to set her up with any of them. Privately, she thought that Michelle could do a lot better than Denny, who was already out of high school and didn’t seem to have much ambition beyond working as a pizza delivery boy.

It did give Tessa cause for concern, however, when Michelle threatened to move out and go live with her father – whom the girls rarely had contact with – or with Denny. Michelle was a year older than she was, and due to graduate high school next June, so if she were in fact to move out at that time Tessa wondered how willing Debbie would be to let her stay. Tessa kept her fingers crossed that nothing would go amiss for another eighteen months or so – until she, too, turned eighteen, graduated from high school, and could legally live on her own.

She’d been obliged to give her future some serious consideration during a required meeting with her junior class guidance counselor last week. The counselor – Ms. Thornton – was young, barely out of college, and like most public school employees, underpaid and overworked. Still, the counselor had been kind to Tessa, and had nodded in understanding when she’d explained why college just wasn’t in her game plan for the foreseeable future.

“I’d have to say, unfortunately, that I agree with you at this point,” Ms. Thornton had acknowledged. “Most of the classes you’ve taken in high school haven’t exactly been college preparatory courses, and you’d probably have a difficult time getting accepted to most schools because of that. In addition, you’ve got virtually no extracurricular activities save for your after school jobs, and colleges really look hard at that stuff, I’m afraid.
”

Tessa had given a little shrug. “That sort of thing just wasn’t possible for me. I changed high schools three times before we moved here last spring, and, well, things with my mother made everything difficult
.”

“
I get it,” Ms. Thornton had assured her gently. Tessa had told her the basics about Gillian’s illness, her tragic death last month, and how Tessa was now living with the Wallace’s. “You’ve had far more important things to deal with than trying out for cheerleader or joining the French Club. It’s just a shame that you didn’t have the same opportunities as other kids your age did. You seem like a very bright girl, Tessa, very hardworking and capable. Under different circumstances you would have easily been accepted into a variety of good colleges. And,” she’d added hastily, “there’s absolutely nothing preventing that from still happening. You could attend community college for a couple of years, get your core classes out of the way, and then transfer to a four year university after that. Lots of students take that path, in fact
.”

“
Maybe,” Tessa had demurred. “I never really considered that option, always figured that I’d just get a job and look after my mother. But I guess it’s something to consider, provided I could get the funding
.”

Ms. Thornton had nodded. “Given your circumstances, it would be the easiest thing in the world to get you a grant or scholarship to pay your fees. We can talk more about it next year when you’re a senior. In the meanwhile, you should look over the course catalog for the local community college, see what sort of classes you’d need to take for an associate degree. Plus, there are lots of other programs they offer if you choose not to get a four year degree – health services, hotel and restaurant management, office administration. You definitely have other options to consider if you don’t want to pursue a bachelors degree
.”

She had barely glanced at the catalog and other materials Ms. Thornton had given her, though, having been far too busy recently with school and work to read them over in more detail. It was something she would certainly have to give some serious thought to within the next year, however, along with where she would live when she turned eighteen and aged out of the foster care system.

The bedroom door was flung open and then slammed shut as Michelle burst into the room, her face red with anger and cheeks wet with tears. Her already out of control mop of dark chestnut curls was practically crackling with electricity as she picked up a shoe she’d left lying around and threw it against the closest wall.

“God, I hate her so much!” she hissed. “I seriously wish she would just drop dead one of these days, save me the trouble of killing her myself.
Some
people should have never had children, and my mother is definitely one of them! Oooh, I cannot
wait
until I can get the fuck out of this house!”

Tessa suppressed a sigh, having heard this sort of tirade from her friend multiple times already since moving in. “I’m sorry that the two of you don’t seem to get along,” she offered quietly. “But you shouldn’t wish anyone dead, Michelle. And especially not your mother.”

“Oh, God! I’m sorry, Tessa!” declared Michelle, giving her a quick hug. “I didn’t mean to be insensitive, with your own mom gone barely a month. It’s just – my mother drives me insane, you know? It’s been like this all of my life, especially since my dad left. I know she doesn’t really give a shit about me and Kimmie, can’t wait until both of us are old enough to move out and take care of ourselves so she doesn’t have to be responsible for us.”

“How old were you when your dad left?” asked Tessa.

Michelle shrugged. “For good when I was around ten. But he’d probably moved in and out at least five times before that. I can’t remember a time when he and my mother weren’t screaming at each other. I’m guessing he stuck it out because of me and Kimmie and Brittany.”

Brittany was Michelle’s older sister, who lived in Phoenix with her boyfriend, two year old son, and newborn daughter. Michelle rarely discussed Brittany, and always shuddered in distaste whenever her name was mentioned.

“When was the last time you saw your father?” inquired Tessa.

The question evidently made Michelle uncomfortable, because she fidgeted a bit before replying. “Almost three years ago,” she admitted reluctantly. “But that’s only because he’s had to move around a lot for his job. He works on oil rigs, has to go where the work is. But I can call him whenever I want to, and we email a lot. He’s working in South Dakota right now but he wants to move back down to the southwest as soon as he’s able. And he promised me that I could move in with him when he does.”

Tessa felt guilty to admit that this news came as something of a relief. It certainly didn’t sound to her as though Michelle’s father would be returning to Arizona anytime soon, and therefore Michelle wouldn’t be able to move in with him. Which meant that she’d likely have to remain right where she was, and that Tessa would be able to stay as well. It would buy her some much needed time to figure out what it was she wanted to do with her future, and, more importantly, to sock away as much of her hard-earned money as possible so that she could support herself when the time came.

She would just have to learn how to block out the frequent screaming matches that the three Wallace women seemed to engage in on an almost daily basis. Tessa considered it a small price to pay for having a roof over her head, or from having to live in even less tolerable conditions. As the old saying went, better the devil you knew than the one you didn’t.

It wouldn’t be long, however, before a far more menacing demon would arrive to throw her life into turmoil once again.

Tessa looked anxiously at Michelle and then at Kimmie to gauge their reactions to the news their mother had rather casually just dropped on them. Debbie glared back at both of her daughters defiantly, as though daring them to challenge her, and puffed on yet another cigarette, not seeming to care that she blew a stream of smoke directly into Tessa’s face. Tessa struggled valiantly to suppress the urge to cough or fan away the second hand smoke, and thought yet again how much she hated the very sight of a cigarette.

Michelle was the first to respond to her mother’s announcement. “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” she replied in disbelief. “Why in the world are you letting Brittany, her scummy boyfriend, and their two brats move in here? And where the hell are all of them supposed to sleep, not to mention dump all of their stuff?”

Debbie scowled at her daughter from across the kitchen table. “Brit’s my daughter every bit as much as you and Kimmie are, and she’s got every right to live here. Especially since she and Sean don’t have anywhere else to go. I’m not going to let my daughter and grandchildren be homeless, for Christ’s sake. Try to have a little compassion for once, would you?”

Debbie had just returned a couple of hours ago from a week long trip to Phoenix to visit her oldest daughter. Brittany and her family were supposed to have spent Christmas here in Tucson, but had had to cancel the trip at the last minute when both of the children developed ear infections. Now Debbie had just delivered a huge bombshell on all of them – both Brittany and her boyfriend Sean had lost their jobs, were months behind on their rent, and were about to get kicked out of their apartment. And they would be arriving here along with their toddler son and infant daughter – bag and baggage – within the next few days to move into a house that was already barely big enough for its four current occupants.

“Well, they’re not getting my room,” declared Kimmie staunchly. “Michelle’s room is bigger so they should stay in there.”

Michelle gave her sister the evil eye. “Oh, yeah? And where are Tessa and I supposed to sleep, dimwit? I’m the oldest, therefore I should still get to keep my room. You can sleep on the sofa, Kimmie.”

That set Kimmie off on one of her tantrums, and between her whining, Michelle’s screaming, and Debbie’s yelling, the decibel level in the kitchen rose to never before heard levels. Tessa kept quiet, wisely not getting involved in the increasingly heated argument. The small amount of food that she’d eaten had already turned to bitter acid in her stomach, and she wished rather desperately that she could just disappear right now.

Debbie pounded her fist on the kitchen table, causing the dishes and glasses to rattle violently. “Both of you shut the hell up!” she bellowed. “Stop all of this fucking whining right now, you hear me? I’ve already decided where everyone is going to sleep so there’s no use arguing about it. Since Michelle’s room is bigger, that’s where Brittany and Sean and the kids will have to stay. They’re bringing some of their furniture with them so we’ll move their bed into that room. Cooper is old enough now to sleep in his own bed, so we’ll leave one of the twins in there and move the other one into Kimmie’s room.”

Michelle shook her head mutinously. “This is so unfair,” she muttered. “What about all of my other stuff – my clothes, computer, TV? How is all of that going to fit into Kimmie’s room?”

Debbie shrugged carelessly and lit another cigarette, at least the fourth one since she’d arrived home. “You’ll have to make it work somehow. Don’t bother me with those sort of petty details, all right? I’m worn out from the drive and from helping them pack these past few days, and I’ve got to go to work in the morning. So stop bitching about it and figure out how to share what space you will have.”

“But, Mom,” whined Kimmie. “Michelle hogs everything, you know that. She’s going to take over my room, and my closet is already full. Can’t she - “

“I said to stop your bitching. Both of you,” Debbie warned. “And that means I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

Michelle somewhat belatedly glanced across the table at Tessa, who was very intentionally staring down at the table. “Oh, crap!” she exclaimed in dismay. “What about Tessa? If you leave one of the beds for Brit’s little brat, what’s Tessa supposed to sleep on?”