Coveting Love (Jessica Crawford) (22 page)

“
Jessica!”

The cry was so startling that Jessica jumped to her feet when she heard it. She glanced in the direction the voice came from. She was surprised to see Brandon standing there looking at her, as if she had done something wrong. She could feel the hatred coming from him as he glanced from her to his brother. She suddenly realized how awkward this must look to him—especially after she had promised him to stay away from Jeffrey.

She ran to his side and grabbed his arm. “Brandon, you startled me. What do you mean by sneaking up on us like that?”

He glanced at her sideways, never taking his eyes from his brother. His arms were tight at his side, his jaw clenched in anger. His body went rigid as his temper exploded.

“
Get out of here, Jeffrey, while you still can! And I warn you, don’t ever come near Jessica again!”

Jeffrey stood his ground, grinning at his brother, mocking him.

“
Oh, come on, Brandon, you aren’t still blaming me for that, are you? It’s been five years now. I thought for sure you would have come to your senses by now. It was just an accident.”

Jeffrey wasn’t smiling now, but was matching Brandon’s own anger. It was obvious this was a fight started long ago—and never finished.

Jessica, fearful of what would happen if she allowed the argument to continue, clutched Brandon’s arm and desperately tried to pull him away.

“
Please, not now. This isn’t the time for this. You should both talk this out when you can think straight. Let’s go back to the house. Maybe we could take a swim and cool off a little,” she begged him.

“
Stay out of this. This conversation is long overdue. Jeffrey ran from this battle five years ago, and now it’s time to finish it.”

Their voices had carried. People began to crowd around. Jessica threw herself in front of Brandon. Their eyes met, hers pleading, his showing violent signs of the anger that had built up inside him. They stayed that way for several minutes. Then Brandon, realizing the fear he was causing Jessica, turned to walk away, pulling her along with him as he did. Without a word, he rounded up both horses, and in one swoop hoisted Jessica into her saddle. Then he mounted his own horse, grabbed both sets of reins, and galloped off.

A quarter of a mile later Brandon slowed the horses. They were both panting heavily by now. They rode in silence. Jessica didn’t dare speak for fear Brandon would start on her.

Amy met them as they approached. They had not allowed her to join them on the outing because of the baby. She sensed something was terribly wrong and ran to her friend.

“
What happened? You look devastated.”

“
Nothing happened. I’m fine, but Brandon had a run in with his brother, Jeffrey, that’s all.”

“
Oh, I knew he was going to be trouble,” she spat. “He’s always hanging around and sneering at all the models. He chases after them with no shame at all. I wish he would just leave.”

Jessica glanced over at Brandon to see how he was handling Amy’s outburst. He seemed, however, oblivious to anything going on around him as he handed their horses over to the groom. He grabbed hold of Jessica, once again pulling her by the arm, and leading her into the house. She yelled back to Amy that she would be unavailable the rest of the day.

Once they were upstairs, Brandon led her into her bedroom where he proceeded to come down hard upon her.

“
What the hell were you doing up there with him? You know how I feel about him. I warned you how dangerous he was. But the minute my back is turned you’re out running the hills with him.”

She stared in disbelief. “How dare you accuse me of such a thing? You have to understand one thing. I am not a child, and I resent, and refuse to allow you to treat me as one. If Jeffrey has done something so bloody awful, then why don’t you tell me about it instead of playing these childish secret games? How can I be afraid of someone when I don’t have any reason to be? Can’t you just tell me what it is about Jeffrey that I should be afraid of?”

He lowered his voice. “I can’t. It hurts too much. Please just trust me.” He came to her and pulled her against him. “Do you love me?” he blurted out.

She glanced up at him. There it was; it was out. The burning question of the year placed before her. They had finally come to that point in their relationship, the turning period, do or die time. Her answer would determine where they went from here. Her heart swooned, and her anger subsided.

“
Yes. I believe I do. No. I mean, yes, I know I do. I love you very much.”

He relaxed before her, his heart easing a bit. He took both her hands in his, stared down into her eyes. “I love you, too, so please, trust me on this. I am begging you. Please believe me when I say Jeffrey is trouble.”

She didn’t hear this last part. She had lost track of what he was saying when he had said he loved her. She had been waiting to hear those words, not trusting their relationship enough to say them first.

Gently he kissed her, working his way slowly down to her neck. His breath was hot and rapid, his kisses increased in intensity, passionate, demanding. He looked deep into her eyes and saw expectation. Hungrily, he savored her smell, sweet lilac mixed with perspiration and the sweet smell of anticipation.

“
Brandon,” she whispered. He silenced her with more kisses.

She saw dark passion in his eyes, deep pools like that of a black ocean. The unease returned, but she pushed at it. She wasn’t afraid of Brandon. Where had this feeling come from? Of course, she knew. She had never witnessed fury so strong in Brandon. It was new, and didn’t match the man she had grown so fond of over the past several months.

He felt her tense and pulled away. “I’m sorry,” he said, and turned and left her.

She collapsed on the bed, torn by doubt and indecision. She only wanted to go home at that moment, but that was impossible. She wondered if she would ever understand Brandon Phillips.

Hours later, there was no evidence of the drama that had unfolded earlier in the afternoon. Dinner was pleasant and uneventful. Brandon walked into the dining room with Jessica displayed proudly on his arm. All eyes turned to stare as the couple entered the room. Brandon appeared to be a completely new person.

Amy pulled Jessica aside, having been concerned about her friend’s earlier state of mind. She assured her things were fine.

After dinner, Brandon walked Jessica around the lake. After a short distance they stopped. Brandon turned her to face him. “I want to tell you how sorry I am about today.”

She placed two fingers against his lips, hushing him. “It’s okay,” she told him. “You have some things to work out with your brother. I understand that. I’ll try and stay out of it.”

She started to walk again, but he held her back.

“
Aren’t you even curious about why I went into town this morning?” he asked, pretending to be hurt.

She really hadn’t thought about it until then. Now though, her curiosity was peaked. Didn’t you tell me you were going to pick up supplies?”

“
That was just a ruse. I have an outstanding staff that sees to all that. Ask me the real reason for going into town,” he said, flashing a Cheshire grin.

“
Okay then, I’ll play the game. What did you go into town for today?”

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small box. Her heart beat in anxious anticipation. He looked down at her, his expression serious.

“
I decided last night that I wanted to buy this for you, but when I returned this afternoon and found you with Jeffrey, I wasn’t sure you felt the same way.”

Tears threatened to flow, but she blinked them back. She looked at him in disbelief as he pulled a large, expensive, and quite perfect diamond ring from the box he held in his hands. He bent down on one knee, and Jessica gave him a light delicate laugh.

“
Jessica, if I haven’t ruined everything for us, I would be the happiest man alive if you would honor me by becoming my wife,” he choked out.

She suspected they had been working toward this. She had not been sure it was what she wanted, but now, overwhelmed with joy, she thought there was nothing she wanted more than to become Brandon’s wife. Then images of his anger flashed through her mind, leaving doubts in their wake.

She had never been in love before. How was she to know they would make it? How was she to know if this was the forever kind of love? What if he left her—as her father had? Could she stand the rejection twice?

She bent down to match his stance, staring at the ring. She looked directly into his eyes. “I’m flattered. In fact, I’m overjoyed that you have asked me this question, but I’m not sure I’m ready to get married. We haven’t known each other that long. I’m not even sure how I feel about marriage. I don’t know that I believe in happily-ever-after.” She swallowed hard. “If I marry, I want to marry for keeps. How can we be so sure that we’re meant to spend a lifetime together?”

“
If that’s the only thing holding you back, then we’ll deal with it. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I do know that I love you. I know that when I’m away from you I feel crazy and lonely. Every time I close my eyes, I see your face, feel your touch against my skin, and smell your perfume. I want to hold you and love you all the time. I want to protect you from all the evils of the world, and I want to share with you every joy and every sorrow that the world has to offer. If that isn’t being in love, then I have the whole thing figured out wrong.”

She knew exactly the feelings he was describing. She had felt all of them every day lately. She couldn’t stand the thought of being away from him. When she lay in bed at night, she longed for him to pull her into his strong arms, trail kisses down her spine, whisper in her ear. She wanted to make love to him and have children with him. She knew she was in love with him, but his behavior this weekend concerned her and left her questioning if she knew him well enough.

“
Give me a little time,” she whispered in his ear. “I’ll give you an answer before we leave. That’s only two days away.”

He didn’t get angry, and only felt a little hurt. “I’m going to make you see that this was meant to be for us. I know you’ll agree.”

She smiled at him. “We’ll see.”

She turned when she heard a twig snap. The first thought that went through her head was that Jeffrey was returning to make more trouble. But it was only Justin come to sign his release and collect his check. Jessica laughed at her uneasiness.

“
I’m sorry, Brandon. I need to take care of this. I’ll meet you upstairs in a little while.”

He grabbed both her hands in his and kissed first one, and then the other. “I’ll be waiting,” he replied. He turned and left.

“
I don’t mean to pry, Ms. Crawford, but is everything okay here? You look kind of tense.”

Her smile reassured him. “I’m fine. In fact, I’m more than fine. Come on now. Let’s take care of this. Are you sure about the modeling thing?”

He laughed again at her insistent proposal. “I’m sure. Like I said, I wouldn’t feel comfortable anywhere else but here on this little ranch.”

She sighed. “Okay then, here you are, one check for $ 500.00. Use it well.”

He took the check. She offered him a pen, and the release. He scrawled his signature across the bottom and handed it back to her.

“
I plan to,” he said. Our little Miss Spirit is ready to deliver her foal soon. Mr. Brandon said I could buy it from him for a couple thousand. This, with what I have already saved, almost does it.”

An idea struck Jessica then. “Say, Justin. How would you like to make the rest of the money while we’re here? I guarantee you’ll be in your bunk next to your horses by bedtime, every night.”

He looked thoughtful. “Well, it would be nice. I’m going to need to save up for some new tack as well.” Finally, he nodded and extended his hand. “You have a deal.” They shook and Jessica was laughing as she left.

Later that night, Jessica lay in Brandon’s arms thinking about his proposal. What would it be like to be married to such a man? She wondered. What would it be like to be mistress of this beautiful house? Of course, she wouldn’t really be the mistress. After all, his mother was still alive, even though Brandon had said she rarely came out of her room. She traced her finger across his face, down his chest, and through the mass of hair that grew there. She stared hard at his outline silhouetted against the moonlight coming through the window. How well did she really know him? His features were hard, like him at times. Most of the time however, he was gentle and loving. She worried deeply about the dark times. She wondered what tragedy had made him so suspicious. He would be a good father. She knew that.

She smiled to herself as she imagined him teaching their son the business of the ranch, running through the wind with a kite, playing ball out in the fields. She could visualize Brandon doing all those things. She had always dreamt of having this kind of life. After she had established herself in her career, that is. Although she was quite successful, she wondered if she had achieved all that she had hoped to before she settled down. She had not been prepared for Brandon’s proposal. Love had caught her off guard, taking her prisoner in her own mind and body.

Brandon stirred restlessly, causing a stabbing pain in Jessica’s neck where stiffness had set in from the position she was lying in. She moaned softly, waking him from sleep.