Cowboy Famous: Book 4 (Cowboy Justice Association) (34 page)

“So is everything okay?” Griffin had to say something to break the wall of tension that had quickly sprung up between them. It was accompanied by the tightening of his chest that was making it hard to catch his breath.

“That was my agent.” Jazz traced patterns on the counter with her fingernail, her head down. “I’ve got an offer for a part in a movie.”

The growing knot in his throat made it difficult to speak but he swallowed hard, determined to get the words out. “That’s wonderful. What kind of movie?”

“A romantic comedy. It’s a supporting role. I’d play the lead actress’s best friend. The original actress signed had to pull out due to emergency surgery. They need me on the set Monday.”

That was only three days away. His fingers tightened on the pan he was holding but he somehow managed to smile.

“That’s great news, honey. I guess this was the break you’ve been waiting for. This was why you signed up to do the show.”

He had to congratulate himself on sounding near normal. He didn’t want Jazz to know how much this was killing him inside.

Her happiness came first. He wouldn’t be selfish.

She looked up, conflict clear in her eyes. It was some consolation that she wasn’t doing a dance in his kitchen about the movie offer. She did care for him, he knew that much. But caring and wanting to spend the rest of your life in a small town in Montana were two very different things.

“I told her I would call her in the morning with my decision.”

“Is there a downside to the offer?” he asked carefully as he placed the steaks on the broiler and sprinkled seasoning on the raw meat. “Money? Location?”

“The money’s fine and the location is New York. I’ve never been there before.” Jazz was back to tracing patterns again and not looking at him.

“I’ve never been there either. Like to go someday.”

Griffin slid the broiler pan into the oven and went around to the other side of the island sitting in the barstool next to her, making it difficult for her not to look at him.

“I’m proud of you, Hollywood. I think you’ll do a great job.”

“Gordon said I was just like all the other girls he’d dealt with. Pretty face but little talent.”

“Fuck Gordon Schofield. He’s a fucking murderer who has anger issues with women. I wouldn’t take his word for it, honey. I bet you have talent. I’d wager cash money on it.”

She finally gave him a smile and sat up in her chair. “I think you’re full of shit. What if I screw this up?”

“You won’t. You’ll be amazing. I can’t wait to see you on the big screen.”

She took a deep breath and finally met his gaze. “I’d have to leave on Saturday.”

He refused to make her feel guilty for grabbing this opportunity. “I’ll take the day and drive you to the airport in Billings. You won’t need to worry about renting a car or anything.”

“I guess it’s settled then. I’ll call my agent in the morning and then get a plane ticket.” She hopped up from her seat and peeked into the oven. “I’m starving. I’ll microwave a couple of baked potatoes to go with them.”

He nodded but didn’t answer out loud as she bustled around the kitchen. Watching her every move and trying to imprint it in his memory, he struggled to control the feelings of desolation that swamped him. He’d finally fallen in love but with a woman who couldn’t stay. He needed to step back and give her wings to fly.

He could have asked her to stay but what then? He never wanted her to look at him someday in the future and curse him for ruining her dream.

He’d let her go but make sure she knew he would be waiting right here in case she ever wanted to come back.

Chapter Twenty-Six

J
azz folded her last pair of jeans and placed it in the suitcase open on the bed. Pants were done and now she needed to move on to shirts. She’d been moving in slow motion this morning, dragging her feet.

She should be jumping up and down excited. This opportunity was what she’d worked for, dreamed of. This was her moment. The brass ring was right there all shiny and waiting for her to grab it.

Then why was she so fucking miserable? The thought of leaving Griffin and Hope Lake was tearing at her gut and making her heart ache. Just a few weeks of being here with him and she couldn’t imagine her life any other way. Los Angeles, the smog, the traffic, the empty show business life she’d led held no appeal. The fact was she really didn’t give a shit about this role. Or any other role. Her dream as a child wasn’t her dream as an adult.

Wasn’t that how it was supposed to be? There were sayings about putting away childish things. Her dream of fame and fortune had been the hope of a little girl whose parents didn’t give her any attention or approval. Funny how she didn’t need it anymore. She approved of herself, and that’s what was important.

The singsong ring of her cell phone interrupted her jumbled thoughts, and she smiled when she saw who was calling.

Caitlin.

“Hey, girl. I was going to call you later. What’s going on?”

“I just got your text. Holy shit, you’re going to do a movie with Howard Deals? He’s a great director.” There was excitement in Caitlin’s voice and Jazz wished she could share it.

“Yes, I’m packing now.” Jazz tried to inject some enthusiasm into her tone. “Griffin is taking me to the airport soon.”

“You know it might be the phone connection but you sound like Griffin’s driving you to your own execution. Is something wrong? Don’t you want the part?”

It was honesty time. Caitlin had a world-class bullshit detector so lying wasn’t an option.

“No. No, I don’t. But if I don’t take it, what will I do?”

Jazz fell back on the bed staring at the ceiling and feeling like hell. Her brain was all muddled and she couldn’t seem to think straight in the least.

“Wow, I didn’t expect this. I mean, I knew you were falling for that sheriff guy but this is way out there.”

Jazz could hear the incredulity in Caitlin’s voice. “You could tell? Am I that obvious?”

“Kind of. It was the way you talked about him, I guess. Even before he saved you from Gordon.” There was a long pause. “Do you love him?”

“Yes.” Jazz expelled the breath she’d been holding. “I do. But I don’t know if he loves me.”

“Have you asked him?”

“It’s never really come up in conversation.” Jazz rubbed her forehead and pushed the hair off her face. “But here’s the thing. If I’m not an actress, well, then what am I? A waitress? I don’t mind waiting tables, sometimes I really enjoy it, but I always imagined my life doing something creative.”

“That’s not surprising—you’re a creative person, Jazz. But you have other options. You take amazing photos, for example. You also paint and write. I love that script you were working on. I kept saying you should show it to Tony.”

Jazz was surprised Caitlin brought up her now ex-boyfriend. During their last conversation, she’d said she never wanted to hear his name in her presence ever again. Jazz didn’t blame her.

To cover up his own dalliance with another woman, this time one of the crew, he’d provided Gordon with an alibi for Sandy’s murder in exchange for Gordon providing one for him. The fact that Tony hadn’t thought for one minute that Gordon was a killer and that he was simply covering up his own philandering wasn’t the point. Tony was a lying cheating snake. He’d had his dick in no less than two—and who knew, maybe more—women in the last two weeks. Caitlin was well rid of him.

“I wouldn’t tell Tony what time it is,” Jazz said sharply. She hoped Caitlin wasn’t softening her attitude about the jerk.

“Neither would I,” Caitlin assured her. “Although I did talk to him last night. Again. He gave me the usual song and dance about how those women didn’t mean a thing to him but I did. Wow, lucky me. Then I asked him about how he provided an alibi for a serial killer and he blubbered something about needing to keep that woman he was porking a secret and he never in a million years thought Gordon was capable of something like that.”

“I don’t think any of us thought that but we didn’t lie.”

“Exactly. I told him I didn’t want to be with someone who thought not telling the truth was a valid excuse.”

“What did he say to that?” Jazz set the phone on the mattress and grabbed a shirt to fold from the pile of clothes on the bed.

“He mumbled something and then hung up. But here’s the kicker, I got fired this morning so I guess he got his revenge.”

Jazz dropped the shirt and grabbed the phone pressing it to her ear. “Are you fucking kidding me? That slimeball. I can’t believe he called one of his buddies and got you fired. What a dickhead.”

“Those were just a few names I called him today. The show’s producer called me this morning. Told me they wanted to take the show in a different direction. In other words, my character is getting killed off. I’ve got about two weeks left.”

“I’m so sorry you got dragged into this, Cait. So very sorry.” Caitlin was too nice a person to have this happen to her. She was a good actress too. “Screw that soap. You’ll get a better job.”

“Maybe. I’m kind of with you on this whole acting thing, Jazz. I’m thinking about hanging it up. Doing something else. Anything else. I’m tired of obsessing about my looks and my weight. It’s not healthy and it sucks. I’ve saved some money. I’ll be okay for awhile.”

Completely taken aback, Jazz didn’t know what to say. She’d thought Caitlin was happy so this news had come out of left field.

“I’m shocked to hear you say it but if that’s what you want, you know I’m rooting for you.”

“And I’m rooting for you too, Jazz. Don’t get trapped in something you think you ought to do. Do whatever you want. I’m listening to my gut from now on. What does yours tell you?”

“To stay.” The words were out of Jazz’s mouth before she could stop them. But once she said it, a great weight was lifted from her shoulders. She didn’t want to go back to her life in Los Angeles. She didn’t want to be a star and have reporters and the press following her around. She wanted to live a quiet life with the man she loved.

And maybe learn to fish.

The question of what she wanted to be when she grew up was still unanswered but she now had the money and the time to think it over.

“Should I start packing your things up and send them to Montana?” The amused tone in Caitlin’s voice made Jazz laugh.

“I’d hardly be called a friend if I did that to you. If I stay here, I’ll come home and pack up my stuff. But I don’t like leaving you with all that rent, especially if you just lost your job.”

“Maybe I should come to Montana,” Caitlin joked. “Are the prices reasonable?”

“I’d love it if you came here,” Jazz exclaimed. “I’d have a built in friend.”

“I was only kidding,” Caitlin protested with a nervous laugh. “I’m a West Coast girl, remember?”

“Fine, but promise me you’ll visit. It’s very pretty here. Griffin can take us fishing.”

“I promise. Listen, I need to go. I’m meeting a couple of people for spin class. Call me tomorrow and tell me the latest. What are you going to say to Griffin about staying?”

A few thoughts had started ruminating in Jazz’s mind. “I’m not planning to tell him anything. I’m going to show him. Wish me luck because I’m going out on a limb here. Way out.”

“Then good luck. Things will work out for you. I think this Griffin guy is very lucky.”

“I completely agree. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Jazz hung up and tossed her phone down on the bed. Staring at the suitcase, she made a few risky decisions. She was either going to be the happiest woman in the world or the most miserable.

No time like the present to find out which it would be. Grabbing up a stack of clothes, she began unpacking her suitcase. She wasn’t going anywhere.

She was staying to be with Griffin.

*   *   *   *

Griffin’s dad climbed out of the boat with a bucket of fish in one hand and his fishing pole in the other. He’d come over early this morning, much to Griffin’s chagrin, “to catch a few and get some peace and quiet.” Griffin had been cuddled up close to Jazz sleeping when he’d heard the bang of his dad’s equipment and the stomp of his boots. So much for sleeping in and making love to Jazz one last time.

Now it was mere minutes before he needed to load the woman he loved and her luggage into his truck, driving her to the airport and out of his life. He wanted to scream that life wasn’t fair and rail against the pain that was twisting his heart but it wouldn’t do a damn bit of good. If his father had taught Griffin anything, it was to stand up and be a man. That’s what he would do.