COWBOY ROMANCE: Justin (Western Contemporary Alpha Male Bride Romance) (The Steele Brothers Book 1) (184 page)

Chapter 5

Bridget stopped short. When Elise had written asking her to come, she hadn’t hesitated. She had been ready for a change, ready to move on with her life away from New York. She had moved to escape. It was as simple as that.

The invitation had been nothing more than a means to an end. It had come at a time when her life had fallen apart, and she had taken advantage of the timing to accomplish her escape by using her father’s money to get her out of New York City.

Had she ever had any intention of marrying Jared? She had come up with the idea of starting a newspaper here on the spur of the moment when her father was asking what she would do here. It was exactly what she’d been considering for a long time, but she’d never thought it would be possible. Now it was a very
real
possibility, especially since Mike, who had always been writing about something, wanted to join her. He wanted to be a journalist, and she wanted to run a newspaper. Together they could do this because he’d saved a lot more money than Bridget had ever thought he could.

Bridget gazed up at Jared as she replied, “I honestly thought that was my reason, Jared. In my head, I kept telling myself that I don’t need love to marry a man—and that’s still true.” She paused for only a moment, not sure she should admit the truth. Deciding it was probably better if she did, she said, “I was engaged once, Jared. Did Elise tell you that?”

“No, she didn’t,” he admitted. “I assume the fact that you’re bringing it up is because you’re no longer engaged. What happened?”

She avoided his question, unsure she could voice the words. “It’s why I’m not interested in love, anyway, and it will explain why I came here with every intention of marrying you—if you would have me. I loved him dearly, more than I thought I could love anyone, but he humiliated me.”

“I’m sorry, Bridget,” he said as they stopped outside the hotel. “Do you want to tell me what happened? Don’t feel obligated, but it might help if you talk to somebody about it. And I’m a good listener.”

“I think I
need
to tell you, Jared. If you’re going to understand me, it’s a big part of my life, and it’s something that you should know. Can you keep it to yourself, though? I would hate for the information to get around town like it did in New York. All of my friends and family knew about it, and they all pitied me—all except for Mike, that is.”

“It must be something serious if you’re having so much trouble giving me the information.”

Glancing around, Bridget noticed several people milling around the hotel. The evening weather was very pleasant, and apparently, people didn’t want to be inside. Did she dare ask him to join him in her room? Would that give him the wrong impression?

“Would you like to go to my house and sit on the porch to talk about this?” he asked.

Glad that he had realized why she was so reluctant to talk in front of all these strangers, she agreed. “That would be better. Do you mind walking there in silence, though? I want to think of the best way to explain and to decide how much I should tell you.”

Linking his arm with hers, he led her down the street toward his house.

***

As they sat on the porch swing together, Bridget tucked one foot under the opposite thigh. Now neither of her feet touched the floor, but Jared gently rocked the swing back and forth with his foot.

“If Emily has a hard time sleeping,” Jared said, “I bring her out here and rock her. We’ve done that ever since we got here. To swing like this is quite soothing. I hope it will help you relax.”

“It does,” she replied. “Now, to tell you the truth. It’s happened to many other women, I’m sure, but I never dreamed it would happen to me. I believed everything Matthew told me, every single charming word. But they were all lies.”

“What did he say?”

“That I meant to world to him, that he would never need another woman other than me, that he would never leave me, no matter what.”

“So he must have left you if you’re no longer engaged.”

“No, but he did force me to leave him. He told me that it didn’t matter if I wanted to wait until we were married to have sex. He promised me that he could wait. But he didn’t.”

A scowl came to Jared’s face, and he asked, “Did he hurt you? Did he take you before you were ready?”

“No!” Bridget exclaimed. “I just found him in bed with another woman.”

Jared released an audible sigh. “Thank God, he didn’t assault you. That could have damaged you for a long time.”

“I loved him
so
much
, Jared, with all my heart and soul. I
still
love him. I’m not sure I can ever stop. So, you see, I can’t love anybody else. I can like you, but love is probably out of the question.”

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that.”

Startled, she stared at him. “Happy?”

“Of course.” Jared laid his hand on her shoulder and caressed it. “Bridget, do you think I haven’t had the same feelings as you’ve had? When my wife died, I thought I would never be the same. I, too, thought I would never love anybody else. Over time, though, that feeling lessened. Don’t get me wrong, I still love Sarah, and like you, I always will. Nothing will ever change that, especially since she died giving me Emily.”

“You
do
understand.”

“I do. And like you, I’m not sure I can love you the way I loved Sarah. But I want a wife. I want Emily to grow up knowing that a man and woman can have a respectful relationship. We have a lot in common, Bridget, and I think we could build on that to have a good marriage.”

“I don’t know, Jared,” Bridget admitted, shaking her head. “Oh, I thought I did when I headed out here. I thought I did as late as dinner tonight. But on the way to the hotel, I realized that I might have made a huge mistake by agreeing to take a chance with you. I shouldn’t have agreed to something like this with anybody for that matter. And you have a child. What if our marriage isn’t good and it affects her?”

From the look of surprise on his face, Bridget could tell that Jared hadn’t thought of this. How could he not have? He had a daughter to care for. He needed to put her above everything else.

“I hadn’t thought of that, but I assure you that I would do everything possible to see that we have a wonderful marriage and that we would be good influences on Emily. Please, Bridget. I don’t want a woman from the bar to be Emily’s mother. She needs a strong female influence in her life. From everything Elise tells me, that’s you. From the talk I had with you tonight, when you told me about your involvement in the suffragist movement, that’s you. I have no qualms taking you as my wife.”

Bridget hesitated. Despite coming to Forestville with every intention of marrying Jared, his sweet daughter needed a woman in her life who could love her and care for her. From everything she saw at dinner, that appeared to be Karin.

But she did like Jared. She thought she could live with him if he gave her room to be her own person, if he didn’t expect her to dote on his daughter day and night, if he didn’t make her sleep in the same bed with him.

As though he’d read her mind, Jared said, “Until you get to know me, you or I can sleep in Emily’s room. Or I could sleep on the sofa. We wouldn’t be in the same room, let alone the same bed.”

“What if I never want to sleep in your bed?”

“I haven’t had sex since before Emily’s mother died. I don’t frequent prostitutes or bars.” He gently squeezed her hand with his free one. “Tell you what. The traveling preacher will be here a week from Sunday. That’s when Elise and Moya are getting married. Until then, we’ll spend as much time together as possible and see if we think we can do this. If we agree that we can, we’ll get married when they do. If either of us has reservations, we won’t, and we’ll continue as friends getting to know one another better.”

Bridget smiled. “I like that idea. Let’s decide then.”

Chapter 6

After spending hours with Jared, when he wasn’t busy managing the lumber and mill company, and Emily for the past ten days, Bridget had made up her mind. If Jared hadn’t changed his mind, she would marry him. Like Elise had said, he was kind and gentle. Even if he didn’t know she was watching him, he treated everyone the same, with respect.

Jared even admired the fact that she wanted to run a newspaper with her brother and supported her decision to look for a suitable building. When none appeared usable for their purposes, he contacted his boss, who lived in Sacramento, and got permission to build the business and purchase the supplies with Mike.

On that Sunday, Bridget and Elise prepared for their weddings together in Elise’s bedroom. When they went to the church that afternoon, they were fully committed to making their futures with these men.

It wasn’t an elaborate affair like Bridget had been planning in New York. The only people present were the brides and grooms, as well as Stina, Karin, Emily and Mike. The four repeated their vows simultaneously, the preacher pronounced them husbands and wives, and everyone left the church.

Bridget knew that Elise and Moya were headed back to Elise’s house to consummate their marriage, but she and Jared wouldn’t be doing that yet. He had promised that he would wait until she was ready, and she wasn’t quite there yet. Instead, they went to the site of the newspaper office with Mike to see how far along it was.

To Bridget’s delight, the building was already framed. As they walked through the unwalled rooms, Mike explained that there were two offices in the front of the building with an entrance between them so he could have privacy to work. Bridget assumed the other office was for her. Straight in from the foyer, Mike pointed out the printing area.

“Thanks to the generosity of the company owner,” Mike said enthusiastically, “we’ll have the latest, most modern equipment available. I only have to pay half of it. Let me show you how I thought we could set it up.”

With boards he found lying around the site, Mike laid out the position of the various pieces of equipment, where they would keep the paper, and where the letter boxes could be housed. He also showed her where the storage room he planned would be located.

Bridget was impressed with all the thought Mike had put into his project. She’d never known him to be so excited about anything before.

“I didn’t know you were
this
interested in going into the newspaper business with me,” she said when he stopped talking long enough for her to insert herself.

“That’s because I love it here,” Mike replied. “I can’t wait to get started building this business from the ground up—literally, since we have to build the office. I’m already trying to find stories to write. Oh, and we’re getting our own telegraph machine. The owner of the company thinks it would be a great idea so we can communicate and have a current newspaper instead of relying on old stories.”

Mike nodded toward the second office. “That’s where we’re putting the telegraph, and we’re supposed to hire somebody who knows how to use one. If we can’t find anybody, we can have somebody trained to use it. I was thinking about Moya.”

“That would be a perfect job for him!” Jared exclaimed. “He’s told me a number of times that he didn’t know how he was going to support Elise, but he wanted to try.”

“See, Bridge,” Mike said “things are working out perfectly for us.”

Bridget frowned at his enthusiasm. He had always been an optimist, to his detriment sometimes. If he thought something was going well, he was sure nothing could ever go wrong. But things often did. Not every time, of course, but often enough that he should know that he couldn’t trust his optimism.

Everything he told her about sounded positive; it sounded like he was doing this for himself as well as others. She especially liked that Mike was interested in teaching Moya a new skill, so he could support Elise. His intentions were good, except his ability to give Moya a job wasn’t exactly in his power.

“Michael,” she said.

“I know what you’re thinking, Bridge. You don’t even have to tell me. It’s not going to be like the other times. It’s going to work, because we both know what we’re doing. The only if is Moya. What if he can’t do the job? But he’s a bright man, Bridge. He’ll catch on to it. I’ve already checked around town, and nobody knows how to work the telegraph machine or understand the code. All I have to do is tell the owner this, and he’ll send someone to teach Moya or send Moya somewhere to learn. All we need is Moya’s agreement.”

“So he doesn’t know about it yet?” Bridget asked.

“Not yet. I’m going to mention it to him tomorrow.”

“Mike’s obviously put a lot of thought into this, Bridget,” Jared said.

“I’ve been thinking about it for years,” Mike added.

“Give the man a chance to show you this will work,” Jared told her. “If Harris is backing him and offering to build the office and pay for part of the equipment, it’s a likely this is an excellent proposition.”

“That’s it,” Mike said. “Harris. I’d forgotten his name.”

Bridget looked from one man to the other before she agreed. “All right, I’ll keep a positive attitude for now. But if things seem like they’re turning bad, I won’t hesitate to speak my mind.”

“You never do,” Mike chuckled.