Cowgirl Up and Ride (30 page)

Two sharp pokes on her arm startled her awake. Her gaze flew to the alarm clock.

Five thirty.

Dammit. It had happened again.

Two more insistent pokes and AJ moved her head to see mini-Cord, aka Ky—

wearing Superman pajamas, peering at her suspiciously. “Amy Jo? Hey, how come you’re havin’ a sleepover in my daddy’s bed?”

Crap. She elbowed Cord in the ribs.

“You coulda had a sleepover in my room.”

By Ky’s petulant expression he was upset because he considered her
his
friend, not his father’s friend. Her fingers automatically reached out to smooth Ky’s dark sleep-tousled hair. “No way, Jose. You snore.”

Ky smiled. “Daddy snores louder.”

“No kidding.”

“So did you move back for good? I shore missed you.” Ky hopped up on the bed, right next to her. “Are you gonna babysit me today? We could bake some of them cookies. And ride horses. Hey, wanna see the pitchers of the ocean—”

“Hang on, sport,” Cord said in a husky morning voice. “Let’s have breakfast before you go makin’ any plans.”

“Are you stayin’ for breakfast, Amy Jo?”

“I-I don’t know—”

“Please?” Two enthusiastic bounces. “Pleeeeaaase?”

She was such a sucker for this kid. “Okie-dokie, artichokie, but you’d better have a coffee cup out for me by the time I get down there.”

His face bloomed with a devilish grin that was pure bad-boy McKay. “I knew you would. You can even sit by me.” The look Ky sent his dad dared him to argue about seating arrangements.

“Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll meetcha downstairs?” Cord said.

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“Okay.” Ky stood on the mattress and bounced twice before he hurled himself off the bed like a long jumper.

AJ gasped.

Cord sighed.

“Better’n last time, huh, Dad?” Ky’s little chest puffed up. “Pretty soon I’ll be able to make it all the way to the door.” He scampered out.

Before AJ could comment, Cord’s mouth was on hers for a deep kiss. He broke away and smiled. “Good mornin’. And before you worry about my son catchin’ us in bed, let me say it ain’t the end of the world.” He nuzzled her neck. “Makes me think maybe we oughta go public with this. Maybe we oughta get…married.”

A whack upside the head couldn’t have stunned her more than a marriage proposal.

From Cord McKay. First thing in the morning.

“What say we get hitched? We’re compatible—in bed and out. You know what it takes to be a rancher’s wife. You like my kid and he adores you. You’d be a great mother to him and any other kids we have.”

“And I have all my teeth and I can cook, too,” AJ snapped and jumped out of bed to scramble for her clothes.

“What?”

“I am not a goddamn broodmare, McKay.”

“Fine. Maybe the reasons don’t sound romantic, but why ain’t it a good idea? You love it here. This could be your new home. You already know the land and my family.

You could stay right here and you wouldn’t have to go back to Denver.”

“
Have
to go? I
want
to go to Denver. I want to finish school because it is the single thing in my life I’m doing for myself and no one else.” She yanked on her jeans. In the last few weeks Cord hadn’t listened to a damn thing she’d said. He wanted her simply because…she suited him.

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childish to expect love, not compatibility, as a reason to spend her life with him; it just made his reasons emotionless and selfish.

“AJ, listen—”

She whirled around. “Do you love me, Cord? Is that why you’re hinting you’d like my boots under your bed every night?”

Cord averted his eyes. “There are more important things in a relationship than love.”

Not for me there isn’t.

The front door slammed and voices echoed in the foyer. Before either of them knew what the ruckus was about, footsteps pounded up the stairs. The bedroom door was flung open and Carolyn McKay raced in, Carson and Ky on her heels.

Carolyn threw her arms around AJ. “Thank God. Oh, thank God you’re okay, Amy Jo. We thought…”

AJ couldn’t breathe, Carolyn was squeezing her so tight.

Ky announced, “Amy Jo had an overnight with Daddy, Gran-gran.”

Cord groaned. Carson cleared his throat. AJ felt her cheeks flame.

“That’s good. Real good that she was here and not there.”

“There? What is going on?”

Carolyn eased back and tucked a strand of hair behind AJ’s ear. “Sweetheart, I don’t know how to tell you this.”

All the blood drained from her face. “Did something happen to my mother?”

“No, but your house caught fire and burned to the ground.”

AJ stared, in utter shock. “What? When?”

“About two hours ago, near as they can figure.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“But…how?”

“No one knows. It went so fast the volunteer firefighters didn’t get there in time to save anything. And we thought you were inside…”

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“Until I realized your Jeep wasn’t there,” Carson said. “We called Keely when we couldn’t get you on your cell and she told us to check here.”

“The house burned?”

“Yeah, honey, I’m sorry.”

“Is there anything left?”

“Didn’t appear to be. Didn’t spread to the barn or any of the outbuildings so they’re assumin’ it was just somethin’ in the house that somehow ignited.”

AJ nodded numbly. “I know Ma told you we’d been having problems with both the propane and the old coal furnace. Some of the wiring was kinda iffy too. I can’t believe it. If I would’ve been there, maybe—”

“Don’t say it, don’t even think it, AJ,” Cord snapped.

“Not your fault. Sweetheart, we’re just so glad you weren’t there.”

“But everything else was. All our family pictures and furniture and the movers were supposed to come and get it all tomorrow…” Tears broke free like a dam breach.

Carolyn wrapped an arm around her shoulder and led her from the room. She offered to make coffee; all AJ wanted was to see the wreckage that used to be her home. Alone.

But Carolyn insisted on coming along.

Pumper-trucks and pickups filled the yard. When AJ caught the glimpse of the smoking pile of rubble, she covered her face and sobbed. The only thing that remained was the foundation and the cement walkway.

Poof
. Everything gone. Carolyn held her while she cried. She stayed close when AJ

called her mother and her sister, and the insurance agent. Luckily they’d kept the house insured until the final step of the deed transfer, which wouldn’t be for another couple days.

Hours passed before the firefighters declared the last embers out. It was late afternoon and she was alone with her scattered thoughts, lost in the smell of smoke, guilt and tears. Carolyn had saddled up Lucy and rode her to the McKay homestead, promising to take care of her horse until AJ was settled. Wherever and whenever that might be.

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AJ wondered if she’d ever feel settled again. Not only had she lost her home, she’d lost decades worth of family history. She literally had nothing but the clothes on her back.

She knew things could be replaced. She knew she was lucky to be alive. She knew it, yet, she mourned. And dammit, she figured she had a right to it.

Cord’s big truck rumbled up the driveway. With all that’d happened she’d completely forgotten their early morning conversation. AJ hoped Ky was with him because he wouldn’t speak so freely about future plans with his son around.

But Cord was alone and he didn’t get out of his truck for the longest time, he just stared at the debris pile. When he climbed out, he ambled straight to her and enclosed her in his big strong arms.

Why did
he
feel like home?

Wishful thinking.

She allowed his comfort and managed not to cry. Finally she untangled herself from him. “It’s probably better it burned now, rather than after Carter and Macie moved in with their sweet little baby, none of them suspecting what horrors were awaiting them in this old crappy house. I couldn’t live with myself if it would’ve happened to them.” AJ

walked away to try a sense of balance.

Cord chased her down. “You’re damn lucky it didn’t happen to you and you weren’t here last night.”

“Maybe if I had been I could’ve saved something. Picture albums. Letters. My great grandmother’s tatting. Anything.”

“Goddammit, AJ. Look at me.” He grabbed her arm. “None of that shit is more important than your life.”

She jerked back. “Easy for you to say. You have everything in your life that I just lost.”

“Have you forgotten what I said this morning? I offered you everything I have.”

Everything except love.

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“This—” he gestured to the rubble behind them, “—is gone. It sucks. I’m sorry. But now you can move on.” His jaw tightened. “Now you can move in with me.”

“Move on? Just like that? Forget about everything in my life going up in flames and move in with you?”

“I want to take care of you, baby doll. What don’t you understand about that?”

AJ looked him dead in the eye. “I don’t want you to take care of me, Cord McKay, because I’ve been taking care of myself my whole life. All I ever wanted was for you to love me. Just love me. What don’t you understand about that?”

He didn’t respond—he actually looked a little sick to his stomach. At the prospect of loving her?

Enough. She’d had enough heartache to last a lifetime. “Goodbye Cord.”

She climbed in her car and didn’t look back. There was nothing here for her anymore.

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Don’t let her go. Jump in your truck and chase her down.

AJ left him. Just like Marla had.

She would’ve stayed if you’d had the balls to tell her the truth.

What truth? That he nearly went out of his freakin’ mind because she could’ve died last night? When he wanted to hold her up she preferred his mother’s comfort and company to his? That she handled everything by herself again, when he’d offered to fix it for her, and added insult to injury by tossing his offer back in his face?

What did you offer her?

What she needs.

No. You offered her what
you
need. You don’t even know what she needs.

Me. She needs me. Why won’t she admit it?

Dammit. He hadn’t planned to handle it this way. He’d imagined approaching her about them getting hitched over a nice romantic dinner. Between Ky’s questions, ranch business—including Kade volunteering to head the cattle experiment up in the northeast section over the next few months—and his mother’s constant cell phone updates about Colt, he hadn’t had a chance to consider an approach about how he’d convince AJ to accept his proposal for her own good.

Now it didn’t matter because she was gone for good.

***

Two weeks later…

Cord was on edge, snappy with Ky, his dad, his mom, Colby and his cousins.

Seemed everyone was avoiding him and leaving him to his own devices.

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Alone in his own damn house again. He paced to the kitchen for a beer to ease his frustration when he noticed the sinkful of dirty dishes. Dammit. Why did crusted eggs remind him of AJ? Why did everything remind him of her? Fuck it. He headed to the porch and his dad’s truck parked in the driveway.

Ky hopped out of the cab, followed by Cord’s mother and Keely.

What was Keely doing here?

His son bounded up the steps and Cord caught him in a one-handed hug. “Hey, where you goin’, slick?”

“Thought if I ran by you really fast you wouldn’t have no time to yell at me.”

Cord froze. “What? Why would I yell at you?”

“You been kinda grouchy lately. Aunt Keely says it’s ’cause you got your head up your—”

“Kyler! You weren’t supposed to repeat that.”

Ky grinned and ran in the house.

“I didn’t know you were gonna be around to corrupt my son, Aunt Keely.”

“I’m on break and have a couple of things to take care of before I go back.”

He wondered if AJ was on break too. He sipped his beer.

Keely sighed. “See, Ma? I told you. He’s the most stubborn of all of them.”

“Yep. Just like his father.”

“What’d I do? Why you gangin’ up on me?”

His little sister teetered on the tips of her boots and stuck her nose right in his business. “Why don’t you ask the damn question I see in your eyes, Cord?”

“Fine. Why ain’t she returnin’ my calls?”

“Because you’re a clueless asshole who doesn’t deserve her.”

“Keely West McKay,” Carolyn said sharply, “that isn’t helping.”

“I don’t care. She’s mooned around you for years—years! Why? She’s shouldered more responsibilities than anyone should, which is probably why she was so drawn to you in the first place, Mr. Large and In Charge—”

“Whoa, back up. Whatya mean mooned around me for years? She’s twenty-two.”

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“She has some crazy notion she’s been in love with you since she was five.”

“No,” he breathed, but the truth pummeled him from every direction as the things AJ

said came rushing back.

Because I’m definitely smitten with you.

I’ve had a crush on you for so long.

You’ve been my fantasy man since that day all those years ago.

Keely’s eyes burned with anger and tears. “You think it’s a coincidence she was untouched? No. AJ saved her virginity for
you
.”

I’m so glad I waited. Waited for you to be ready for me.