Cradle and All (24 page)

Anne didn’t hear what Theresa thought. She couldn’t. The blood was pounding too loudly in her ears. Tom had donated sperm to these friends!

Something was shifting in her mind, a piece falling into place, filling in the missing part of the puzzle that had previously not made any sense.

“Anne, are you all right?” Theresa asked.

Anne realized that she was staring at the triplets. She jerked her head toward Theresa, not thinking about what must be showing on her face.

“Oh, my God, you didn’t know,” Theresa said, acute dismay turning her natural pink complexion chalk-white. “Oh, Anne, I’m so sorry. I thought Tom would have told you. I never imagined—”

“Theresa, it’s all right,” Anne said in as soothing a voice as her current excitement would let her. “I’m glad you told me. I think it’s wonderful what Tom did for you and Jeff. And I very much doubt he’ll mind when he realizes you told me.”

“But he should have been the one—” Theresa began.

“Not necessarily,” Anne interrupted, pretty sure this was something Tom could never have told her because it was something that related to what Lindy had told him in her confession.

“I feel terrible,” Theresa said.

“You shouldn’t. You’ve just been a big help.”

“Help?”

“Theresa, when you gave birth fourteen months ago, did you or Jeff telephone Tom at the parish?”

“Well, yes. Naturally, we were eager to share the news and arrange for the boys’ baptism.”

“Did you say anything over the phone at that time to indicate that Tom was the biological father of your children?”

“I think Jeff might have thanked Tom again for making it possible. Why do you ask?”

“I was just wondering if you might have been overheard,” Anne said.

“I doubt it. It was just me and Jeff in the hospital room with the babies when we called.”

“I didn’t mean from your end,” Anne said, her mind popping with possibilities. “Theresa, who was your fertility doctor?”

Theresa looked confused at Anne’s question but answered easily enough. “Dorothy Bennett.”

“May I speak to Dr. Bennett about your embryo transplant procedure?”

Theresa still looked puzzled, but nodded. “Anne, what’s going on?”

“I’m trying to track down the missing pieces of a very important puzzle. Will you trust me enough to just leave it at that until after I’ve spoken with Dr. Bennett?”

Theresa studied Anne’s face for a moment. “Sure. If you can’t trust a judge and a priest, who can you trust?”

Anne flashed her a smile. “I’ll need a note from you telling Dr. Bennett that it’s all right to talk to me.”

Theresa nodded as she got up and went over to a small desk in the corner of the family room. She quickly scribbled out the note and handed it to Anne.

“Dr. Bennett’s address and telephone number are at the top. But I should warn you, she’s booked for a month in advance.”

“Oh,” Anne said, her voice full of disappointment. Now that she felt she was so close to the answer, her impatience for that confirmation was almost overwhelming.

“Jeff and I have an appointment with her at ten on Monday. You could take it if you want.”

“That would be great,” Anne said. “You sure you don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” Theresa said. “We can reschedule.”

Tom and Jeff came out of the kitchen then.

“What are we going to reschedule?” Jeff asked.

“Anne’s going to take our appointment with Dr. Bennett on Monday.”

Anne watched Tom. Not a flicker, not a twinge, not a nerve moved in his face.

They said good-night to his friends, thanking them for the evening. Tom gathered Tommy’s things and he and Anne headed out to the car.

“Everything all right, Anne?”

She looked over at the calm expression on his handsome face and wondered how anyone could keep the kind of secrets he did. When she had called him the strong, silent type, even she had not appreciated how strong and silent.

“Couldn’t be better,” Anne said.

And at that moment, she realized she had spoken the literal truth. For what she had just learned changed so much.

* * *

T
OM
MADE
LOVE
to Anne that night under the moonlight falling through the window glass. He began slow and easy to give her time to suckle the baby at her breasts. But by the time Tommy had fallen asleep, the passion they had for each other had already escalated to the point that only a fevered joining could satisfy.

It had not been enough. Tom had so much more to tell her. So he had simply begun again.

When Tom began to make love to Anne the second time that night, she felt a difference in him. He touched her as though she were made of very fine, very fragile fibers, as though she might break at any moment. Without a word, he let her know so many things that were important to him. How beautiful she was. How precious she was to him. How proud and grateful he was that she was his.

His.
She felt it. In every possessive sweep of his hand. In every soft caress. With every warm breath of his kiss. She had never known such eloquence. As their bodies joined and they became one, her heart expanded in her chest.

The baby woke them a few hours later. Tom got up and prepared his bottle. He brought it back to the bed so Anne could hold the baby to the warmth of her bare skin as she fed him. Tom wrapped his arms around her and nestled her and the baby against him.

The moonlight bathed her soft naked body. The sweet heat and fragrance of her skin filled his senses to overflowing. It was an exquisite moment, as so many with her were. Gratitude swept through him with such power that it left him shaken.

“You know how no matter where you are physically, a part of you is somewhere else?” Anne asked, gently stroking the baby’s hair.

“You mean when your mind is on something you need to do, or evaluating something you’ve done?” Tom asked.

“Yes, exactly,” she said. “And yet at this precise moment with you and Tommy, I feel totally present. All of me. Nothing is missing. It’s so...perfect.”

Tom couldn’t have expressed it better. He rested his cheek against hers. She might not be able to say the exact words, but whether she realized it or not, she did tell him she loved him in so many other ways.

A few minutes later, Tommy stopped feeding. Tom burped him over the towel on his shoulder. Then he laid the little boy in his crib and returned to Anne’s side, drawing her close against him. He closed his eyes as he ran his hand over the curve of her delicate shoulder, down the sleek length of her arm, across the flat surface of her tummy, absorbing her warmth and textures with his fingertips.

“What you told me is true,” Anne said into the silence of the night. “Tommy is yours and yet you didn’t impregnate Lindy.”

“Did you only just become sure of that, Anne?”

“No, I knew you wouldn’t lie to me. What I didn’t know until now, though, is how it could be possible. Lindy learned you had donated sperm to Jeff and Theresa when she listened in on your calls at the parish. She stole some of your sperm. That’s what she meant when she told Butz she was going to pick out the father of her child. Dr. Faust inseminated her with your sperm and that’s how she gave birth to Tommy.”

Tom was absolutely quiet.

“Oh, I know you can’t comment on this, Tom. It was what Lindy confessed to you when she came by the church that Friday afternoon. I understand completely about your adherence to confidentiality. But I don’t need you to say anything. All I need is to talk to Dr. Bennett. She’ll confirm it for us when she discovers your sperm is missing. Then we can go through with the DNA test because we’ll have the proof of how Tommy came to be your child. That fake birth certificate the Kendralls have won’t mean a thing.”

Still Tom said nothing.

“As soon as we see Dr. Bennett, I’ll call Pat and have her go after Shrubber and Butz. Of course, I want Fred to get the credit for tying Butz into Lindy’s death. If it hadn’t been for her help, we wouldn’t have known about the car crash. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No, Anne, I don’t mind.”

A long, peaceful moment passed in which Anne thought about many things.

“Tom?”

“Yes?”

“Who will conduct services in Cooper’s Corner tomorrow?”

“I asked the priest in the neighboring parish to cover for me.”

“For how long?”

“For as long as I need to be away.”

“So you don’t have to be back soon?”

“You have something in mind?”

“It’s such beautiful weather here,” she said. “And I have another full week off.”

“After church tomorrow, we’ll take Tommy for a picnic in the park,” Tom said. “Then we can come back here and make love all afternoon.”

Anne smiled. Sounded wonderful to her. “I think it’s possible that I’ll be producing the breast milk Tommy needs soon. I don’t suppose there’s any need for us to hurry into a divorce?”

Tom wrapped his arms around her so tightly that not even the moonlight could come between them. “No need at all,” he assured her.

Yes, she could play a role in Tommy’s life, Anne thought. Be there for him, watch him grow up. It would be just as if he were her own child.

Her own child. The warmth of those words brought a wonderful gladness to Anne’s soul. She didn’t have to hold back her heart anymore. Tommy didn’t have another mother. She didn’t have to give him up.

She could be his real mother.

And a real wife to Tom? He said he loved her. And if there were ever a man who could mean those words, it was Tom.

There was just one thing left that she needed to know.

“Tom?”

“Yes?”

“When we first made love, you told me it had been a long time for you,” she said. “Would you tell me now how long?”

“Since I entered the seminary five years ago.”

She turned in his arms to look at him. “You’re so damn close to being a saint. Celibate for five whole years! And here I imagined dozens of women left swooning in your wake.”

Tom smiled, amused at her description. “You said it had been a long time for you, as well.”

“Since I discovered my husband was unfaithful four years ago,” Anne admitted.

“Ah, so that was a halo I saw around your head the first time you attended the Church of the Good Shepherd.”

“Very funny, Thomas Christen.”

He laughed, and the warmth of the sound nestled secure inside her soul.

Maybe this marriage could last awhile, she thought. A good long while.

“All along I thought you’d fallen down in your vows,” she said as she snuggled her body against his and wrapped her arms around his neck. “But the truth is, you’ve been standing by them.”

Tom leaned down to brush his lips against hers. “All of them, Anne. Always. Please remember that.”

“It’s kind of a shock discovering you’re not such a sexy sinner.”

He chuckled as he ran his hand down the exquisite curve of her spine. “If you’re disappointed, I can always tell you about all the women that came before the seminary....”

“Do it and die,” she threatened as she molded her mouth to his.

* * *

D
R
.
B
ENNETT
WAS
a stout, middle-aged woman with graying brown hair and a face that had a lived-in look, as if its owner wouldn’t be surprised by much. She recognized Tom immediately and greeted him by name.

“Theresa and Jeff Ballard graciously gave us their appointment,” Anne explained. “I’m Judge Vandree.”

“Are you interested in some fertility counseling, Judge Vandree?” the doctor asked as she gestured them to seats in front of her desk.

“No. I’m here to find out some of the specifics concerning Theresa Ballard’s fertility treatments.” Anne handed Dr. Bennett the note Theresa had written. “As you know, Father Christen was her sperm donor.”

Dr. Bennett read the note, then looked at Tom. “So you obviously don’t mind if I discuss this with Judge Vandree?”

“Please feel free,” he said.

The doctor turned back to Anne. “How may I help?”

“Dr. Bennett,” Anne said, “I have reason to believe that some of the sperm donated by Father Christen reached unauthorized hands.”

“That’s not possible,” Dr. Bennett said. There was nothing defensive in her tone, just polite denial.

“How can you be so sure?”

“My security is foolproof.”

“Perhaps you’d like to explain it to me,” Anne said.

“If you’ll come with me, I’ll show you. But you’ll have to leave the baby with a staff member.”

“He doesn’t take well to strangers,” Anne said.

“I’ll stay here with him,” Tom offered.

Anne nodded as she followed Dr. Bennett into the back of the fertility lab. They stepped into an enclosed booth, where Dr. Bennett donned a dark-blue smock over her street clothes and beckoned for Anne to do the same. Next she affixed caps over their hair and white surgical masks over their faces.

“We’re not really sterile, so don’t touch anything,” Dr. Bennett cautioned. “This is just to keep the ambient bacteria to a minimum.”

Anne nodded as she followed Dr. Bennett deeper into the lab.

The in vitro fertilization laboratory proved to be an expanse of stainless steel cabinets and scientific apparatus. Dr. Bennett pointed out equipment with names like Isolette, incubators, laminar flow hoods and stereo microscopes.

“The woman is first stimulated for eight to ten days with injected medications to insure multiple egg development,” Dr. Bennett explained. “We need a minimum number of four to five eggs. When the woman’s follicles are mature, a transvaginal ultrasound-guided egg aspiration procedure is performed to extract the eggs from the follicles.”

“In other words, you remove the eggs from the woman’s body,” Anne said.

“It only takes about five minutes here in the lab,” Dr. Bennett told her. “The sperm donor is brought in at the same time. The eggs are immediately fertilized with the fresh, donated sperm and the embryos are cultured here for two to six days. This is my embryologist, Cecily. She’s screening a cultured embryo now. Would you like to take a look?”

The masked and fully draped Cecily stepped aside so Anne could gaze into the microscope.