Crash Into You (16 page)

He brushed the dampened hair off her forehead, his expression guarded. “Just for a few minutes. I tried to let you rest for a little while, but we should probably get out of here. Jace’s sister will be home in a few hours.”

She lifted herself on her elbows and saw that she was no longer bound and that Reid had thrown a blanket over her. “Can you get my clothes?”

He stood and grabbed her things from the floor. “Here, do you need me to help you?”

She smiled. “I think I can handle it.”

She pushed the blanket off her and rose to her feet, shivering from the sudden chill. Reid shoved his hands in his pockets, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world but here. She slipped her panties on and the material brushed against her the tender skin on her bottom. “Ouch.”

Reid cringed and dragged a hand through his already disheveled hair. “Hell, Brynn, I’m sorry. I can’t believe I did this. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “It’s fine. I asked for it. I wanted you to.”

He sat his chin on top of her head and rubbed her bare back. “I promise I won’t ever let it happen again. I’m done with this.”

She put her hands on his chest and stepped back. “Bullshit.”

His eyebrows scrunched. “What?”

She grabbed her bra off the floor and put it on, then hauled her dress over her head, anger tainting the mellow afterglow she’d been enjoying. “You’re saying you didn’t enjoy yourself?”

He blew out a breath and leaned against the windowsill. “I hit you, Brynn. Used you. Talked to you like I owned you. You don’t deserve that.”

She zipped up the back of her dress and narrowed her eyes. “You loved it.”

His frown lines dipped deeper, and he turned his back to her, looking out the window toward the swimming pool outside. “I don’t want to be like this. I want a normal relationship with you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest as she toed on her shoes. “And I don’t want to be with someone who’s lying to me. If you want to date me, you either come into it as you are—quirks and all—or go find someone else to play pretend with.”

He raised his head, staring at her in the reflection in the window. “What are you saying?”

“If you want to explore this, I’m game. It’s not like we’re signing up to get married. We have a summer. I like you, you like me. And tonight was… pretty incredible. So, you decide.”

His jaw tightened. “And if I just want to go back to a normal relationship?”

She shrugged. “It won’t be with me. I don’t want to spend my time wondering if you’re satisfying this need with some other girl while playing Mr. Perfect around me.”

His shoulders slumped. “Be careful on your drive home, Brynn.”

Fury boiled low in her belly and her cheeks burned. “You’re not even going to walk me out?”

He didn’t turn to look at her. “It’s for the best.”

now

Soft classical music wrapped around Brynn as she inhaled deeply through her nose, counted to five, then blew the breath out through her mouth.

“Relax your hands, sweetie. You’ve got them clenched so hard, you’re going to make your palms bleed,” Melody said in a quiet voice.

Brynn sighed and sat up from her reclined position on the couch. “This isn’t working.”

Mel frowned and crossed her hands in her lap. “It’s relaxation therapy, not surgery. Maybe you should take a Valium.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, ’cause that’s what I want to do—be drugged up when I hand myself over to a stranger.”

Mel pressed her lips together. “Good point.”

Brynn gathered her hair in her hands and held it off her neck, trying to cool her sweating skin. “I’m going to frigging faint. Right there in the middle of a sex club. Like one of those goats.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Goats?”

“You know, the ones who freeze up and faint when they’re startled.”

“That sounds hilarious,” Mel said, then waved her hand. “I mean, the goats, not you, of course.”

Brynn sank back into the couch and let her hair fall around her shoulders. How could she treat countless clients for post-traumatic stress and not even be able to talk herself down from a panic attack? She ran her hands over her face. “I’m going to lose it.”

Mel stood and crossed the few steps to Brynn, then kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in hers. “Brynn, you are the most kick-ass chick I know and are stronger than this fear. You’re going to be able to do this. If not for yourself, then for your sister.”

Brynn gave her hands a squeeze. “Thanks, Mel.”

A light tap sounded on the door, and Mel rose to unlock it. Cooper poked his head in. “There’s a car here for you.”

Brynn nodded. “Thanks, tell them I’ll be right there.”

He looked from Mel, then back to Brynn. “You gonna be okay, darling?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Mel told you.”

He shrugged. “I dragged it out of her. We’re all just worried about you. You know how the safe word thing works, right?”

“Hell, Cooper. I don’t want to discuss this with you. I’m mortified that you even know where I’m going.”

He leaned his shoulder against the doorframe. “Really, don’t worry about it. I’ve been to a club before. I would never judge you.”

She raised an eyebrow, but kept her questions to herself. She didn’t need to know that much about her boss. “I need to get going. They apparently start initiations promptly at eight.”

Both Mel and Cooper gave her tight hugs, and she shuffled off to her office to grab the suitcase she’d brought into work. The Ranch had insisted on a driver picking her up, saying that only
members were allowed parking spaces. But she suspected it was really just another way to show her submission to the process.

She walked past Reid’s office, but the door was closed. Just as well. She’d been avoiding him since Monday, and the last thing she needed was for him to see her in this state. He’d be able to pick up on her fear from thirty yards away. Even after all these years, the man still seemed to be able to read her as if she were wearing a billboard with emoticons on it.

She rolled her bag out of her office and into the front lobby where a lanky, young man waited in one of the chairs. When he saw her, he rose to his feet and straightened his pinstripe suit. “Ms. LeBreck?”

She nodded.

“I’m Adam, I’ll be driving you this evening. Here, let me take your bags.”

She passed the handle of her suitcase to him. “Thanks.”

She followed him outside and shivered. The air had turned cooler, and she wished she’d chosen to wear something besides a sleeveless blouse and linen pants. She rubbed her arms as she rounded the building and turned toward the parking lot. A sleek limo waited for her at the curb and her stomach tightened. She was really going to do this.

Adam pressed a button on his keypad and popped open the trunk, loading her things inside, then turned to her. “You ready, Ms. LeBreck?”

“Guess so,” she said, her voice wavering a bit.

His lips tilted up, the gesture softening his dark looks. “It’s normal to be nervous. But just go with it. The anticipation can enhance the experience.”

Or kill her. One or the other. She gave him a wan smile, and he yanked open the door for her. With one last steadying breath, she stepped forward and climbed in. To her surprise, Adam slid in right behind her. She cocked her head. “Did you need something?”

“I have to prepare you,” he said, grabbing a small bag from the floorboard.

She inadvertently scooted backward. “What do you mean?”

He dug through the bag and pulled out a pair of handcuffs and a blindfold. He held them in front of her. “Your submission starts now, Ms. LeBreck. The safe word at The Ranch is Texas. Now please put out your hands.”

“I’m not even going to get to see where the hell you’re taking me?”

“Hands, Ms. LeBreck. You asked to participate. These are the rules.”

Son of a fucking bitch
. She gritted her teeth and held out her arms. With two quick clinks, he locked the cuffs around her wrists.

“Turn around.”

She parked her bound hands in her lap and moved to face away from him. The silk sash slid over her eyes, blocking out all remnants of light. She forced herself to take deep breaths as her nervous system threatened to go into red alert mode. Adam grabbed her shoulders, and she almost jumped out of her skin. “Relax. I’m just leaning you back, so I can get your seat belt on.”

She squeezed her eyes shut behind the sash and fought the frightened tears that brimmed her lids. This man wasn’t going to hurt her; he was doing his job. She had to calm down or she was going to blow it before she even got to the damn place. “I’m sorry.”

He finished strapping her in, and the seat dipped as he moved away. “Settle in. We have a bit of a ride in front of us.”

Jace sat on the edge of the couch in The Ranch’s staging room, his foot tapping. Where was she? Had she changed her mind? She should’ve arrived by now.

He knew the other members were already starting to fill up the
common room in anticipation of the new subs coming in. There would be three tonight, but Jace only cared about one. He’d lied when he’d told Brynn he wasn’t going to be at The Ranch for this retreat. He couldn’t let her know he’d be available to be her dom because he knew she would’ve taken him up on the offer. Subs weren’t allowed to make many decisions, but the one they had complete control over was who to play with.

No, he couldn’t offer himself as a choice. He sank back against the sofa and groaned. Let no one ever accuse him of not keeping a fucking promise.

“I thought you said she was scheduled for pickup at six,” he said, glancing at the man sitting on the opposite couch.

Grant chuckled and propped his boot-clad feet on the coffee table, looking every bit the laid-back cowboy. “This one’s important to you, huh?”

“Just an old friend. I know she’s kind of nervous about all this.”

He nodded and took a sip of his soda. “She should be here any minute. I’ll go easy on her.”

Jace didn’t buy that for a second. Grant Waters hadn’t built this level of privacy by chance. He was a master at reading people and didn’t let anyone walk into the place without a thorough observation. Brynn would be no exception. He just hoped to hell Brynn could pull off the whole thing without Grant sensing she was hiding something.

A quick knock on the door made Jace sit up straight again. One of the staff girls poked her head in. “Mr. Austin, your girl just arrived. Are you ready for her?”

Jace rubbed his palms on the legs of his pants and nodded. “Sure, Annalise. Just make sure they don’t tell her my name. She’s a friend and I’d rather her not know who’s preparing her.”

The raven-haired girl arched a pierced eyebrow but kept her opinion to herself and nodded. “No problem.”

A few minutes later, Adam led a blindfolded Brynn into the small room. Even in the soft light, Jace could see the anxiety cloaking her body. Her hands clenched and unclenched in the cuffs and her bottom lip looked puffy, like she’d been gnawing on it.

Adam made sure Brynn was steady on her feet and released her elbow. “Ms. LeBreck, one of our masters is going to get you ready for the initiation while Mr. Waters, our owner, talks with you for a bit. Do you remember your safe word?”

Her throat muscles visibly flexed as she swallowed. “Texas.”

Adam squeezed her shoulder and nodded at Jace. “Enjoy yourself. We’ll make sure to take good care of you.”

Jace rose and crossed the room, the sound of his shoes echoing off the dark wood floors. He walked around Brynn slowly, knowing she’d be able to sense him there and feel the vulnerability of her position. He needed to make this experience as authentic as possible.

Grant’s low drawl came from behind him. “Welcome to The Ranch, Ms. LeBreck. What name do you want to use while you’re here?”

She startled at the sound of his voice, but recovered quickly. “Um, Brynn is fine.”

“Very well, Brynn. Now I just want you to relax. Master J is going to help get you ready for our members. And I’m only here for the pleasure of seeing a new sub prepared for initiation.”

“Wh-What exactly is involved in preparation?” she asked, her words catching in her throat.

Jace frowned. He wanted Brynn to be keyed up. That was a normal sub response. But he hadn’t expected her to be this frightened. He touched her elbow and she flinched.

“Shh,” he soothed.

Grant interrupted, saving Jace from having to reveal who he was by speaking. “He’s just going to get you changed. He won’t step over any lines because you aren’t his, you understand?”

Her shoulders dipped and she nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little freaked out.”

“How come?” Grant asked, putting his feet on the floor and sitting forward, his gaze no doubt taking in every nuance of Brynn’s demeanor. “Your file says that you’ve had a previous D/s relationship. Is it fear of not knowing who your partner is going to be?”

She gave a stiff shrug, and her lip began to tremble.

Oh, hell. Was she going to cry? Jace didn’t know if he’d be able to keep his cover if she crumbled in front of him. A crying chick was his kryptonite. He pitched his voice lower and risked speaking. “You okay?”