Craving: A SciFi Alien Mail Order Bride Romance (TerraMates Book 8) (31 page)

* * *

I
returned
to my room to change. I couldn't walk around in the black dress all day, playing dress up with the enemy. Standing in my undergarments, I prepared to hang the dress back in my closet. The dark fabric appealed to me more than I realized, so I placed it on the back of my desk chair instead.

Back in a fresh jumpsuit, I went to the kitchen to update Gallia on everything Bellona and I had discussed. The soldiers had started a new patrol, leaving us a few minutes to chat unsupervised.

As soon as I walked in, she threw a plate at me.

"Hey!" I cried, throwing my arm up in defense as the plate shattered against the wall. "What was that for?"

"For not telling me a Surtu claimed you!" she shouted as she picked up another plate.

Oops.

I remained near the door in case she went on a rampage. "How did you know?"

Losing her vigor, she slumped forward, dropping the plate into the soapy waters of the sink. "It's true then. Terra, why didn't you tell me?"

My heart broke as I realized she wasn't asking me as my Commander. She was asking as my friend.

"Who claimed you?"

"Jidden," I confessed. "I'm not even sure what it means that he claimed me, only that no other man can have me."

"The Lead Officer in charge of the siege?"

"Yes," I said, and I joined her at the sink. "But it doesn't change anything, does it?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "If he's watching you, I'm not sure we can risk you going anywhere private. It has to stay secret."

She meant the tunnels.

"He won't find out," I promised. "He's not like Kalij. He doesn't chain me to my room. He's too busy to do things like that."

"Then why did he claim you?"

Because I told him too, when I thought I was hours from death. Of course, I couldn't tell her that.

"The Fleet Captain gave him permission to claim whoever he wanted. I guess he thought a Commander was a good choice."

It was mostly true.

She huffed. "He should count himself lucky that he didn't end up with me. Otherwise, I'd scribble him onto Bellona's hit list myself."

"That's not necessary," I said quickly. "He doesn't hurt me. And it's useful. It's why I have access to the docking bay."

"Smart," she said, relaxing. "That's smart."

"How did you know Jidden claimed me?" I asked again, hoping rumor hadn't spread.

"Being a kitchen mouse has its advantages. I've learned a lot working here. Earlier, I was cleaning up after a group of soldiers following their meal. They mentioned that you, the Commander, wasn't to be touched. They also said they saw you on a ship this morning to attend a funeral. I put the pieces together."

It wasn't good news. Rumors would soon sprout, like weeds. Then everyone would know.

"Have you told anyone?"

"There isn't anyone to tell, except Bellona...and I'm guessing by the look on your face you don't want me to do."

"I would rather no one knew," I said truthfully.

"That's your prerogative," she replied. "Did you meet Bellona last night?"

"I did. I'm going to inject Kalij with poison."

"When?"

"As soon as I can. I still have to find the right herb, but it'll be soon."

"Good," she said. "The sooner the task is finished, the sooner we can focus on how to escape."

I was tired, but I fought my fatigue and went to the gardens. Plants were not my strong point. It was a shame I couldn't reach my mother. Be it the orchards or the plains, she knew everything about the flora that nourished us, and the flora that killed us.

I wasn't in the garden long before Gallia found me again. What she threw at me was much worse than any plate.

"Come quickly," she urged. "It's Lucina. She's in a bad way."

* * *

S
itting
on the carpet of her sleeping quarters, I cradled Lucina in my arms. She was sobbing. We'd been like this for hours.

Earlier, Kalij had found her collapsed on the floor. He thought she tried to kill herself, so he'd called in the Surtu medical officer, who was eating in the dining hall at the time. Gallia had overheard everything, and so she summoned me.

Lucina hadn't tried to kill herself. Overcome with grief, she'd blacked out.

"This doesn't change anything!" Kalij had shouted at her as the medical officer showed him out of the room. "Our light bonding ceremony will go ahead tomorrow as planned!"

The light bond. That was the cause of her grief. I still wasn't sure what a light bond was, but I knew what it implied. She would be his forever, at least in the eyes of the Surtu.

"I can't go through with it," she heaved through her tears. "I refuse to be bonded to him in any form."

My stomach felt sick thinking about it. Once they were light bonded, Kalij could do whatever he liked with her. He would take away her integrity.

I wanted to promise her it wouldn't happen, but I couldn't. It would be another broken promise, just like the one I made when I said I'd free her.

Maybe if I'd spent less time fucking Jidden...

I was angry – at the Surtu, at Kalij, and at myself. I'd been selfish with my time. I had failed Lucina. It was one failure too many.

"Here, take her," I said, passing Lucina to Gallia. "The night is fading. I don't have much time."

"Where are you going?" Gallia asked, stroking Lucina's hair.

"I made a promise, and I plan to keep it." Before leaving, I whispered to Lucina, "I swear on the pinky ghost, you're the one I honor the most." Then I was gone.

* * *

J
IDDEN

"The ceremony will continue," I told Kalij, hoping it would shut him up. It was late, and I had a long day ahead of me, starting early the next morning. It wasn't just because of the light bonding ceremony though that played a part.

Tomorrow, my people planned to attack.

"As long as the girl is conscious, she'll be there."

"And what if she sneaks away tonight?" Kalij argued, pacing in front of my desk.

"Where will she go?" I asked. "We have the station covered. If it makes you feel better, I've already ordered extra soldiers to stand guard near her quarters."

My words didn't make him feel better. "It's the soldiers that worry me. I see the way they look at her. They'll sneak in and take her. And they'll also take that bitch of a Commander you've been protecting."

The little patience I had ran out. "Listen," I charged. "You are not to go near that girl until we bring her to you in the Grand Hall tomorrow. If you disobey me, there will be no light bonding ceremony. There will be no Kalij. Now get out of my face before I break yours."

He left, grumbling. As he turned down the corridor, I thought I saw a shadow.

It's nothing, I thought, but my gut told me to follow it. My instincts had never served me wrong before. They were a large part of why I'd gotten as far as I had in the military. I turned down the corridor in the same direction Kalij had left.

It was a good thing I did.

Outside the bathroom, I found Terra with a knife in her hand, waiting to strike. I only saw her back. I assumed Kalij was inside.

You should have followed him in, I thought. Good thing for me you didn't.

I grabbed her hand, making her drop the knife before I spun her around and pinned her against the wall.

"What do you think you're doing?" I hissed.

"I'm saving my friend before you cast her into hell," she spat.

I now saw a side to Terra I had not known. Behind her benevolence, there was a darkness to her. It pulled me to her closely, stronger than the wildflowers had. If she had it her way, she would kill Kalij. If I had it my way, I would watch, and then I would take her to my bed.

Neither of us would get our way tonight.

* * *

T
ERRA

I wasn't scared. The way Jidden grabbed my arm and dragged me back down the corridor told me I should be, but I wasn't.

I didn't care that Jidden caught me. My only regret was that I hadn't slit Kalij's throat beforehand. I wouldn't have made it quick. I would have let the blade linger, the way the bruises lingered across Lucina's body.

It's not like they were going to kill me. I was a woman. To the Surtu, I was sacred. They wouldn't punish me. They wouldn't punish any of us. We were already being punished by being taken as hostages, betrayed by our leaders, and forced to face the possibility that, one by one, we would all be light bonded to a Surtu man.

Except possibly me. Jidden cared for me, but he still cared for his career more.

"What is a light bond?" I demanded when he pulled me into his office.

He let go of my arm, unamused. "I'll ask the questions," he snapped.

"No, you'll answer them," I said, confronting him. "You haven't won this war yet. You're not in charge. I'm sick of all the secrecy and evasion. If my women are meant to be light bonded to your men, then we deserve to know what the hell we're getting into."

I had him. He looked down, gathering his thoughts.

"Surtu are beings of light as well as flesh," he said. "So are humans. You don't know it yet because you can't control yourselves. We can use our minds to control the atoms in our body, to become like light or to stabilize into physical form. You don't have the same control over your body, but you have the ability change. We've seen it. During a light bonding ceremony, a couple alters into light together. It's a transcendental experience, uniting mates together forever."

"And is such a light bond always required before mating?"

"If you're asking if I've broken some moral code by sleeping with you, I haven't. All the soldiers here have known other women. Surtu women, of course. But many of those women are barren after fighting the disease. A light bond is required for a human mate because the children are healthier when parents conceive them. Healthy children are what my people need."

I remembered Captain Fore telling me something similar. "How does the light bond work for humans if we don't know anything about it?"

"When a Surtu man shares a light bond with a human woman, he alters her state for her, turning her into light. It's brief but powerful."

"It sounds beautiful when you describe it," I told him. "But it's not. Nothing about this light bond is wholesome if a male forces into it against her will. Let Lucina go. Call off the ceremony tomorrow."

I was trying to appeal to his inner depths.

"I won't," he said coolly, returning to his cold indifference. "This is why we're here – to mate. The ceremony will go ahead."

"Then you've just sentenced your first woman to death," I warned. "Her soul can't survive it."

"She'll have to try," he replied. He was unmoved.

I was no longer angry at myself. He was the focus of my rage. "I never should have told you to claim me. It was a mistake."

He moved behind his desk and allowed space to build between us. "You should return to Lucina," he said, refusing to acknowledge me further. "She needs your support right now. But don't think about running. I've strengthened the patrol around her quarters."