Crazy Beautiful Love (5 page)

“I failed her.” He
shook his head. “She should still be here.”

“I know.”

“They fucking
killed her.”

“I know.” I sighed
and rubbed my eyes, wanting to go back to sleep.

“Have you ever
been in love, son?” His words sounded coherent and lucid and I looked up and
saw the very real question in his eyes.

“No.” I shook my head.
Love was for fools. I was many things, but I wasn’t a fool.

“I never wanted to
fall in love,” he laughed. “It just
kinda
hit me,
like a deer in the night. Your mother was the most beautiful girl I had ever
seen, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about her.”

“And she couldn’t
stop thinking about you.”

“No.” He shook his
head. “She couldn’t. She loved me when she shouldn’t have. But she couldn’t
help herself.”

“Yeah, some women
are crazy.” I shook my head, and an image of Maddie crossed my mind. “Some women
are mad.” I laughed at my joke, and looked up to see my father staring at me
curiously.

“You’ve met
someone?” He leaned forward and a beer can fell to the ground. I watched in
dismay as the liquid seeped into the already-dirty, tattered, stained brown carpet.

“No.” I shook my
head vehemently.

“You’ve met
someone.” He laughed and sat back, his beer belly showing as his T-shirt rode
up. “Who is she?”

“No one,” I
answered quickly, my heart beating fast. I was scared that he would figure it
out. That somehow he would be able to read my mind and know.

“Must be someone
special.”

“She’s not special,”
I retorted and then realized my mistake. “There’s no one.”

He peered up at me
and gave me a sweet smile, a smile that almost reminded me of the man he had
been when I was a child. The man my mother had fallen in love with had been a
fun, handsome, wonderful man. And then the smile turned into a bitter look and
he pointed at me. “You better not fuck around and let this chick take your mind
off of what’s important.”

“There is no
chick.” I stepped back, not wanting to get into it tonight.

“I told you, women
ain’t
shit. You got a family to take care of. Me and
your brothers need you.”

“I know.”

“Go and get me
another beer.”

“It’s late.”

“Who you talking
to like that?” He made to get up, and as I stared at his slovenly body, a
shudder of distaste ran through me. How I hated this man who was supposed to be
my father. It didn’t matter that there were moments of sorrow and sympathy and
that there were glimpses of the man he used to be. All he was now was a sorry
old drunk. I just wanted to walk out the door and never come back. How I hated
this place, this town, this house, my life. But it was all I knew. And all I
could do, or try to do, was help Vincent and Jared achieve their dreams so they
weren’t stuck in this shithole forever, like I was.

“I’m going out.” I
looked at my father, who had fallen back against the couch, and I walked to the
kitchen quickly and grabbed the keys to the Corolla. It wasn’t smart for me to
take this car. It had likely been reported as stolen already, and the police
would be sure to be on the lookout. I got all the way to the car before I
stopped myself. I couldn’t take the Corolla. I would have to borrow Vincent’s
Mustang. I knew he would be pissed, and I knew I just didn’t care. I ran back
in, grabbed his keys, and headed back out and started the engine.

This 1977 red Mustang
was Vincent’s pride and joy. He had restored it himself and paid for all the
parts with money he had made delivering pizza in high school. Most people
couldn’t believe it when Vincent got the job. They assumed he would just follow
in my footsteps and be a thief, but I had made him get the job. If he wanted a
legitimate car, he had to buy it with legitimate money. The cops were all over
us as it was; there was no way he could drive a few weeks in his own car
without having a money trail.

I started the
engine and listened to it purr before quickly reversing off of the overgrown
grass that made up our front yard. I revved the engine and peeled off down the
road, rolling the windows down so I could feel the cold fresh air on my face. I
didn’t know where I was going and it didn’t even matter. I just needed to be
out of the house before I did something I would regret.

It had been a long
night, and I felt anxious and angry. I hadn’t felt this bad since my mom had
died. I was so unsure and screwed up. And it wasn’t because of my dad. It was
because of Maddie: stupid, beautiful, wild and crazy Maddie. I didn’t want to
think about her, but the memory of her begging me to take her kept playing in
my mind like some broken record. The feel of her skin next to mine, so soft and
supple, aching for my touch, aroused my thoughts, and an image of her vivid
blue-purple eyes flashed in my mind. My God, she was beautiful. Perhaps one of
the most beautiful women I had ever met. And definitely the most unique. She
was definitely a woman who was there to be admired and taken notice of, and she
knew it. She was under my skin, she was in my skin, and I wanted to rip her out
of me. I’d only known her one day—not even a day. One night. One night and
already she was causing confusion in my life. And she was the enemy.

It was as if the
car were telling me where to go. I felt like Michael Knight in
Knight Rider
as I drove towards Manor
Road. I knew the way well as I had taken the exact route so many times. I
pulled up to the street about twenty minutes later and parked in the same spot
my dad had every time he drove us here.

I stared at the
house for what seemed like the millionth time. It was so big that as a child, I
had always wondered what people did with houses so big. Did they sleep in a
different room every night? It was so different from what I was accustomed to.
So grand and alluring. I wondered what it would be like to live in a place like
that. To make enough money to afford a house that rivaled any Beverly Hills
mansion. I sat back in the seat with the engine off and just stared. I thought
about all the other times I had been there, and the vitriol my dad had spewed
about the mayor and his family. The vitriol that had been the foundation of my
hate for Maddie and her family. Only, as I sat there, I found it hard to hate
her.

“That’s what these
worms do,” I berated myself. “These parasites try and pretend to be someone
else and then they fuck you over.” I was mad at myself, I was mad that I was
wondering and concerned about how Maddie was feeling. I didn’t want to care
about how she was feeling. She deserved everything that she got. She was a
spoiled bitch.
Who tried to find some guy
she didn’t know and then sleep with
him.
She was
crazy.
She’s not that crazy and she’s not
a bitch
, another voice whined inside my head. I jumped out of the car,
confused and angry at myself.

I grabbed some
gravel from the side of the road and ran up to the house, throwing it at the
front door. My aim was off and I heard the sound of windows cracking as the
small rocks slammed into them. I saw a light come on, and I stood there
defiantly. I wasn’t scared and I didn’t care what happened. It was time for me
to face the mayor. I needed to let him have it, and I didn’t care if I was
arrested in the process.

Chapter 4

Maddie

I heard the sounds
of thunder against the windows downstairs and I sat up, slightly frightened. My
mother’s cat came running into my room hissing, and I jumped out of bed, unsure
of what to do. I wanted to go downstairs to see what had happened, but I knew
that was a bad move. I’d seen enough horror movies to know that only idiots
went to see what was going on. But I also knew I didn’t want to stay in my
room, waiting for something to happen. I sighed and reached for my old tennis
racket in the corner of my room. It wasn’t a baseball bat, but it would have to
do. Why had my parents chosen this week to go out of town? I was super pumped
when they had told me they were going out of town and they hadn’t made me go
with them. I had almost been in shock; my dad was so overprotective that he
usually liked to accompany me to the grocery store. It had taken me four months
to convince him that I would be safe going to a college out of state, without a
private bodyguard. It was so annoying and cloistering, and I hadn’t known what
I was going to do if he kept hovering over me as if I were some
soon-to-be-extinct species.

The fact that they
had chosen to let me stay home by myself was a huge feat, and I knew that if he
knew what I had done the previous night, I’d never be let out again. But I
wouldn’t have changed a thing. It had been the best night of my life. I hugged
myself as I thought of my time with Logan
Martelli
;
it had been magical. He was magical when I got into the car to be with him, or
maybe that feeling was due to the fact that my heart had still been racing
after my attempted car theft. That had been crazy, and I still couldn’t quite
believe that I had done it. I hadn’t planned on trying to steal it; my only
plan had been to go down to the pier to
bump
into Logan. That was the best way to meet him; at least that was what I had
been told. But then as I was walking and saw the cop car with the keys in the
ignition, something came over me. I wanted to know what it felt like, but I
panicked when the cops saw me pull away, and I jumped out of the car and
started running. I knew I could outrun them; being the track star of your high
school will give you that confidence. And then I saw Logan staring at me, and I
paused for one brief second. And as our eyes connected, I saw the amazement,
respect, and surprise in his eyes. And I felt like I was on fire. He was even
more gorgeous than I had expected. I wanted to run over to him and kiss him,
but I knew I couldn’t stop.

My immobile body
started shaking as I heard the sound of cracking down the stairs. My grip
tightened on the tennis racket and I took a deep breath and crept through my
open bedroom door and walked down the stairs slowly. I listened to the creaking
of the stairs underneath my feet and cursed that my parents hadn’t updated the
historic mansion and put in a marble staircase. I tiptoed down and held my
breath. I looked into the formal living room that was next to the entryway and
realized that the windows were cracked and not broken. I peered through the
windows and my breath caught as I saw the solitary figure standing by the main
gate at the front of the house. It was Logan. What was he doing here? And why
was he trying to destroy my house? Was he mad? I ran to the front door without
thinking and ran outside in a hurry.

“Logan,” I
screamed at him, my heart beating rapidly. “What are you doing?”

“Where’s your
dad?” His voice was hoarse and he had a crazed look in his eyes.

“He’s not here,” I
shouted at him as I ran down the porch steps. “Come inside.”

“What do you mean,
he’s not here?” He frowned at me. “You told me you didn’t want to come home
right away because you didn’t want to deal with your parents.”

“I lied.” I looked
at him coolly, still mad at how he had treated me earlier in the evening.

“You lied?” His
eyes narrowed and he took a step back. “What the fuck?”

“Would you have
taken me to the field if you had known my parents weren’t home?” I shivered in
the cool night air. I was only wearing a pair of short-shorts and a tank top. I
saw Logan look down at me, and his eyes took in my whole appearance. I shivered
again, but this time it wasn’t because I was cold.

“You were in bed?”

“Yeah, it’s still
nighttime, you know.”

“Actually, it’s
morning.” He gave me a sarcastic smile, and I resisted the urge to kiss him and
wipe the cocky smile off of his face.

“Actually, most
normal people are still in bed sleeping at this hour.”

“Actually, most
working-class people are getting up at this hour because they have to get to
their minimum-wage-paying jobs.”

“Well, I guess
that rules you out, then?” I lifted one eyebrow at him. “Or do car thieves make
minimum wage these days?”

“Maybe car thieves
get up early to steal cars before anyone else is up.” He leaned towards me and
my heart fluttered. “But you tell me, seeing as you joined the ranks yesterday,
or at least, tried to join.”

“Come inside.” I
grabbed his arm, and my stomach dropped as he yanked it back away from me. “I
don’t want people to see us standing out here.”

“Scared to be seen
with the town criminal?”

“No, but I don’t
want people to call the cops because they don’t know what’s going on.”

Logan stared at me
for a few seconds and shook his head. “I’m going home, have a good night,
Maddie.”

“Wait a minute.” I
poked him in the chest. “You’re not going to tell me why you were throwing
rocks at my windows?”

“I wasn’t throwing
rocks,” he responded petulantly, and I almost laughed.

“Pebbles, rocks,
whatever,” I hissed and walked up to him. “But, I guess that’s your M.O., just
walk away when the questions start coming.”

“Excuse me?” He
glared at me. “I’m not walking away from anything. Just because you don’t get
your way every single time, it doesn’t mean that I’m the bad guy. Maybe this
will help you see what the real world is about.”

I tried to ignore
the hurt that coursed through me. I had been told he had a chip on his
shoulder. It wasn’t personal. I just had to remember that.

“Please come in,
Logan.” My voice was soft and I stared into his eyes, this time resisting the
urge to touch him again.

“Why?” He laughed.
“You want to fuck again?”

I turned away from
him and felt my face flush. I wanted to slap him across the face, but I
couldn’t ignore the heaviness between my legs. He was right: I did want to
sleep with him again. More than anything. But I also knew what he must think of
me. What sort of girl sleeps with a guy on the first day they met? And what
sort of a girl sleeps with a guy a second time after he treats her like shit? I
didn’t want to be that sort of girl.

“I’d like to chat.”
I looked back at him again. “That’s it.”

We stared at each
other for a few seconds and I watched as Logan ran his hands through his dark
blond tousled hair again. His eyes narrowed as he thought, and I could see that
his shoulders were tensed. He looked back into my eyes, and as I stared into
his deep, secretive green irises, I felt excited and scared.

“Okay.” He paused.
“I’ll come in for a few minutes.”

“Great.” My heart
soared and I walked quickly back up to the door with him right behind me. A
part of me was a little scared. I really had no idea what I was getting into
letting Logan
Martelli
into my house and my life. I’d
had a small crush on him for a few years but that was based on a few photos and
conversations about him with friends I’d gone to elementary school with, in the
summers I’d come home from boarding school.

“Let’s go
upstairs.” I closed the door behind him, not knowing if I was being too forward
by taking him up to my bedroom.

“Okay.” He looked
around the house almost eagerly and I saw him soaking everything in. A part of
me was worried that he was taking inventory of all of my parents’ belongings. Maybe
he was planning on coming back to steal everything. I ignored the brief
hesitation and grabbed his arm. “Ready?”

“Your house is
just as I imagined it would be inside.” His tone was even and almost wondering.
“It’s grand, but it’s warm as well.” He stared at the antique grandfather clock
next to the dining room entryway and walked over to it. “This is nice.”

“It’s heavy.” I
uttered the words without thinking and blushed. He turned towards me with a
sardonic smiled and rolled his eyes.

“Thanks for letting
me know. I guess I won’t steal it when I come back.”

“I didn’t mean
that.” I walked to him. “I’m surprised you came back tonight, after what you
said earlier.”

“I came to talk to
your father.”

“Why?” I didn’t
really understand why he cared to talk to my father. Was he planning on telling
him that I was on my way to becoming criminal and had slept with him in a
field? It didn’t make sense.

“Doesn’t matter.”
He looked at me coldly. “Let’s go upstairs.”

“Are you mad at
me?” I heard the pleading in my voice and hated myself. I wasn’t this person.
“Because if you are, you can just leave.”
Take
that
, I thought smugly. The ball was in his court now. I wasn’t going to
make him think he was doing me any favors.

“No.” He walked
towards me and grabbed hold of my waist and pulled me towards him. “I want to
stay.”

“Okay,” I mumbled
as I looked up into his dark gaze. His hands moved down to my butt and he
pulled me into him roughly. I could feel his erection against me and I
swallowed hard. “I just don’t get you.”

“What’s there to
get?”

“If you like me or
not.” I stared into his green eyes and saw the wanton desire and lust as he
looked over my body. “Or if this is all about sex.”

“Do you care?” His
hand slid up my back.

“I don’t know,” I
lied.
Of course I care, you stupid idiot
.
I wanted to pound my arms against his chest.

“Exactly, so let’s
go upstairs then.” His eyes issued me a challenge and I knew what he was
saying. A spark of desire ignited in me and I reached up and brought his mouth
down to mine to kiss him. He kissed me back hard and then pulled away from me,
with eyes blazing.

“I didn’t say you
could kiss me.” He shook his head, and a small smirk twisted his lips. “You’ll
pay for that.”

“Oh?” I licked my
lips.

“And for that,” he
growled at me.

“What are we waiting
for?” I grabbed his hand and ran up the stairs excitedly. I paused at my
bedroom door and turned to him hesitantly. “This is my room.”

He peeked his head
inside and nodded. “It’s nice, but the bed’s a bit small.”

“It’s a full.” I
looked at him and resisted the urge to bring him closer to me. “We’ll fit.”

“What size bed do
your parents have?”

“King? Why?”

“Let’s go in
there.” He stepped back and I realized that he was serious.

“Are you joking?
There is no way we can have sex in my parents’ bed.” I looked at him like he
was crazy. “Let’s just go in my room.” I pulled on his arm, and he stood still.

“Why not? You said
they aren’t here, right?” His eyes darkened as he looked at me. “If you’re
going to be a bad girl, then you may as well be as bad as possible.”

“No, they’re not
here, but I just think that’s
kinda
weird.” I frowned
at him. “And I never said I was a bad girl.”

“I want to fuck a
bad girl.” He pushed me up against the wall roughly. “You have the house to
yourself; wouldn’t Daddy be mad if he knew you had a guy here?” His hands ran
up my stomach until he was caressing my breasts, and my mind became even hazier
with lust.

“I just think
that…”

“You won’t be
thinking anything when I have you screaming out my name.” His fingers played
with my nipples and he licked his lips.

“Can’t we just try
it in …” My words died as he stepped towards me and his mouth replaced his
fingers. My back arched as he sucked on my right breast and I closed my eyes.

“Which way is
their bedroom?” he whispered in my ear as he replaced his lips with his fingers
and they squeezed and pinched my nipples.

“I, uh, this way.”
I ignored the niggling questions in my mind and led him to my parents’ bedroom.
I opened the door and turned to him. “This is it.”

“So, this is where
the mayor sleeps?” He laughed as he took it all in. He walked away from me, and
I watched as he walked around the room. He stopped at the closet and opened it,
peering inside and then closing the door. He walked back over to me and grabbed
my hands.

“I thought you’d
be on the bed by now,” he growled in my ear as he cupped my right breast again.
“I thought your clothes would be on the floor and you’d be spread-eagle,
waiting for me to devour you with my tongue.”

“I don’t know why
you’d think that.” I smiled up at him, my body shaking at his words. He wasn’t
smiling at me, and a hint of danger filled the air.

“Why are you
smiling?” He grabbed me, pulling me towards the bed. He threw me down on the
mattress and the small sense of hesitation left me. What did it matter what
room we had sex in? I looked up at him as he gazed down at me with hooded eyes
and a devilish look on his face.

“Are you going to
punish me?” I batted my lashes at him, secretly turned on by his take-charge
attitude. I wasn’t sure what he was going to do and it thrilled me.

“You’d like that,
wouldn’t you?” He shook his head and his eyes were alight with laughter. “Do
you want to feel my hands all over you?”

“Yes.” I smiled up
at him, and he laughed. He looked down at me with a huge smile and he sighed
briefly.

“You really are a
different one, aren’t you, Maddie?”

“Perhaps.” I
reached up to him. “Is that going to be a problem?”