Crazy For You (19 page)

He didn’t look over his shoulder to see if she’d
complied. He fished a coin out of his front pocket and dropped it
in to the slot of a payphone against the wall and dialed a
number.

When the call was answered, he said, “Hey it’s me.
There’s been an accident. Candy’s in the hospital.” He tried to
remain calm. “It looks pretty grim, and Roxanne isn’t taking it
well.”

When the conversation ended, Rich hung up the phone
and went back to Roxanne’s side. Sitting, he draped his arm around
her shoulder. “She’s going to be okay,” he said surely, struggling
to maintain control.

A woman approached them. “Ms. Simon?” her voice
broke into Roxanne’s meditation. “My name is Tonya Allen. I’m your
sister’s doctor.”

Rich and Roxanne both stood. “Is my sister all
right?”

“We cannot be certain of the extent of her injuries
just yet,” she said regretfully.

Roxanne’s heart pounded. “But she is alive?” she
asked with assumption and a hint of relief.

“Yes, she is alive. She’s unconscious and
unresponsive. I can tell you that she has some facial lacerations,
a punctured lung, and several broken ribs.” She paused hesitantly
and finally added, “The next twenty-four hours will tell the
story.”

“Can we see her?” Rich asked anxiously.

“She’s being taken to ICU right now. As soon as
she’s settled you can see her...one at a time.” The doctor gave her
the usual instructions and ended with, “She may or may not know
you’re there.”

Lacerations. A punctured lung. Broken ribs
.
Reality closed in on Rich.
This is all my fault
.

This never would have happened if he’d been the
least bit caring. Why didn’t he just admitted the truth? Take a
leap of faith with her. She’d finally proclaimed her love for him,
but he was so worried about his feelings getting hurt that he’d
turned his back on her. Would she ever forgive him? Could he ever
forgive himself?

When they reached the door to Candy’s hospital room,
Rich stopped and looked at Roxanne. “You go first.”

“You sure?”

“Go.” Gently, he pushed her forward.

Slowly, Roxanne entered Candy’s room. The sight of
Candy lying in the bed scared her. Bandages covered her eyes, her
forehead, the right side of her face, and both hands spanning up to
the middle of her forearms. Her left arm was in a sling.

Roxanne pulled a chair up to the side of the bed.
Looking at Candy, she felt about as helpless as a person could
possibly feel. Her best friend in the whole world lay there
lifeless and she couldn’t do anything about it.

“Candy…it’s me, Rocky.” She fought with the need to
cry. “They say you might not be able to hear me, but I know
better...you have to wake up, Candy.” She thought that issuing
orders would chase away her tears. It didn’t work. “You can’t leave
me and Frankie here all alone. We can’t make it without you.”

Roxanne kept looking at Candy, expecting her to say
something. Anything.

But nothing.

Candy didn’t make a sound. She didn’t move.

“Rich is here,” Roxanne said, hoping that’d spark
something from her. It didn’t. “He’s really worried about you. I
think you’ve won the battle...” She tried to ward off the tears,
but they came anyway. “...if you’ll just wake up.” She scolded
herself silently. It couldn’t be good for Candy to hear her
crying.

Roxanne went back out into the hallway where Rich
was patiently waiting.

“Are you all right?” he asked, torn between the need
to go to Candy’s side and not wanting to leave Roxanne alone.

“You go on in. I’ll be fine.” She paused, letting
her wits strengthen. “Candy needs to hear your voice. She needs to
know you’re here.”

Rich’s need to see Candy—to make sure for himself
that she was all right—won out over his sense of obligation when he
looked at Roxanne’s helpless expression.

He pushed the door open at a snail’s pace. Seeing
Candy lying there covered in far more bandages than he’d
anticipated, cut into his soul. He hated seeing her like this, and
he hated that he couldn’t do anything about it. But mostly, he
hated himself for doing it to her.

He sat down at her side. “Hey...you feeling okay?”
he asked, as if she would just wake up and speak to him.

But Candy didn’t move. She didn’t come close to
making a sound.

“I’m really sorry.” He wanted so badly for her to
know that. “I let my pride get in the way and now look what I’ve
done.”

Still, she didn’t move.

“It’s going to be okay though,” he said surely. “I’m
gonna stay right here with you.”

R
oxanne went to look for
the chapel. She needed a place where she could find solace. It was
empty. Good.

She sat down a few rows from the front. Alone and
frightened, the quiet atmosphere still managed to bring her some
peace and tranquility, for the moment anyway. Staring into the
flames of the candlelight, she looked for consolation and found the
soft, flickering glow warm and soothing.

News and details of the accident had taken its toll
on Roxanne. Candy had been traveling on the freeway in excess of
one hundred and thirty-five miles per hour. The car hit the
concrete guard railing, crashed through it and tumbled down several
hundred feet to a quiet city street below.

Roxanne knelt, folded her hands together and rested
them on the pew in front of her.
God
, she prayed silently,
why did this happen to her
?
She doesn’t deserve
it
.

“God,” Roxanne said out loud. “She’s never done
anything to warrant this. It was me. I’m the one to blame for
everything.” She bowed her head, fighting the tears. “None of this
is her fault. The fault is mine and mine alone. If anyone has to be
punished—” She paid no mind to her falling tears. “—it should be
me.” Roxanne sucked in a breath. “Please God…don’t make her pay for
the things I’ve done. If you have to find fault with someone,
please let it be me. Please…take me instead.”

A firm hand gripped Roxanne shoulder and her heart
leaped into her throat. Was God granting her request? Taking her
right there?

“Roxie...” A voice called out her name. Both
familiar and frightening, yet somehow it consoled her.

Thank God
. “Frankie...” Her tears broke free
as he pulled her to her feet.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Candy’s gonna be okay.”

Roxanne could almost believe it when he said it.

Frank kept one arm draped around her, and with his
other hand he took the handkerchief from his jacket and gently
dabbed at her tears. She caught a glimpse of a hopeful smile edging
the corners of his mouth.

If Roxanne could have seen behind his shades, she
would have seen the genuine concern in his eyes for Candy.

Frank couldn’t go through with his plans. Not right
now. He’d have to wait. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything to
hurt Roxanne while Candy was fighting for her life. He never wanted
Roxanne to suffer like this. Not because of some tragedy that
befell Candy.

Frank led Roxanne back to Candy’s room. Sadly, there
was no change in her condition.

The hospital staff suggested that Roxanne go home
and get some rest, assuring her that when she returned in the
morning they should have a better picture of Candy’s situation.

Roxanne didn’t want any part of that. She wasn’t
going anywhere. She intended to stay put because when Candy did
wake up, she planned to be there.

Frank had different ideas though. Roxanne going home
and getting some rest. He’d see to it even if he had to stay there
to make sure of it. Besides, when their son woke up in the morning,
he’d want to know where his mother was. And somebody had to tell
him about his Aunt Candy. That someone was going to be Roxanne.
Frank would see to that.

I
t hadn’t been easy, but
Frank managed to coax Roxanne into going home. He followed her up
the stairs, his confidence growing in the knowledge that she truly
needed him. He also knew he couldn’t let her down. Not right now.
Not while Candy was in dire straits.

A notion knocked at the back of his mind—that he
might need her to need him, just as much as he wanted her to—but he
wouldn’t let it in. Frank wasn’t forgetting how hard the past few
years had been. No one, not even Roxanne, could ever understand
what losing her had cost him.

Letting go was hard you see

Life without you was painful for me

Frank sat down on the edge of the bed while Roxanne
disappeared into the bathroom. Old memories flooded his head.
Memories of the two of them together and in love. He tried to cast
them out; they threatened his well-being.

Memories cloud my mind

Of the love we had

Do you ever think of us

And does it make you sad

R
oxanne gazed at her
reflection in the mirror. She looked like crap. Her face had paled,
drained of all energy. A logical outcome with Frank on the other
side of the door. He’d made it clear that he intended to stay.

And even though she wanted and needed him to be with
her, she knew the truth. She knew why he was there. He just wanted
the chance to condemn her and punish her a little bit more. When
was it ever going to end? Just how long did she have to pay?

Roxanne opened the medicine cabinet and retrieved
the pills Jerry had given her. Without much forethought, she filled
a glass with water and briskly threw a couple of pills from each
bottle into her mouth. Gulping down the liquid, she swallowed the
tablets easily.

Her confidence blossomed. She checked herself in the
mirror and smiled. The medicine would provide the courage she
needed to deal with Frank.

She undressed, grabbed her nightgown off the hook
behind the bathroom door, and slipped the soft garment down over
her body. Dragging a brush through her hair, she studied her
reflection in the mirror. Roxanne wanted to trust Frank, but she
couldn’t shake the feeling that he had ulterior motives.

With a touch of reluctance she opened the door.

Frank tilted his head and peered at Roxanne. The
years had been good to her. Her beauty hadn’t faded a bit.
Stop
that
.

All those lonely nights

Were hard to face

And I tried so hard to find

Someone to take your place

Frank had tried, many times, to find someone just
like Roxanne. His efforts always ended up fruitless and futile. No
matter how hard he searched for someone to take her place, he
couldn’t find anyone to fill that empty space inside of him. Each
day, he prayed someone would come. Somebody just like her. Many had
tried to imitate Roxanne but none had ever succeeded.

Actually, Frank had never succeeded. He’d tried to
turn them all into Roxanne and each time he’d failed miserably.

Outwardly, he adjusted his sunglasses as he looked
at her. Inwardly, he shut the door on all those old feelings of
love trying so hard to make an escape.

He turned down the bed covers and then, with a
waving gesture, he urged her to climb into bed.

Roxanne crawled between the sheets and didn’t object
as Frank tucked the covers around her. He turned to move away and
she grabbed his hand.

“Frankie…”

He glanced over his shoulder.

“I just wanted to say
thank you
for being
here with me.”

“You’re welcome.” He took a deep breath. “When all
is said and done…when you need me, I’ll always be here for
you.”

Roxanne allowed herself to hope that maybe she’d
under-estimated Frank.

“Truth is...” he voice echoed sadness. “I’ve always
been here for you. You just never believed it.”

“I’m beginning to believe it now.” Yet, she couldn’t
help thinking,
I know I shouldn’
t…
but I do
.

“Don’t worry,” he said, and moved closer to her.
“I’m going to be here as long as you want me to.”

She wished he would take off his sunglasses. “Could
I ask you to do something for me?”

“Sure.”

“Do you think you could just stay here with me…for a
while?” she asked through a tone weakened by the fear of rejection.
“And hold me? At least until I fall asleep.”

Without a word, Frank lay down on the edge of the
bed and draped his arm around Roxanne. She moved her arm out from
under the covers and laced her fingers with his. He could tell when
she had fallen asleep, her grip on his hand loosened.

With gentle and slow movements, Frank took off his
shades and laid them on the nightstand. He snuggled closer to her,
telling himself it didn’t mean anything. Her hair fell against his
face and the scent of fresh peaches filled his senses, reminding
him of such a long time ago.

I need to know that you still care

That you still need the kind of love we share

I’m blinded by your charms

Is it really so bad to want to begin again

Because only in your arms

Can my broken heart mend

R
ich had a cot brought into
Candy’s room, and after several hours he finally convinced himself
to lie down. He almost drifted off to sleep a couple of times, but
the thought that she might wake up kept him from dozing off
completely. He couldn’t manage much more than lying there thinking
about what had happened. He dwelled on all the things he could have
done—instead of turning his back on her.

If she’d wake up, he could explain everything. He
could tell her how he really felt. How his silly pride had gotten
in the way—that’s all. But now a new fear filled his senses,
dashing his hopes. What if he never got the chance to tell her how
much he truly did love her? That he always had and he always
would.

Candy moaned. “Rich…?” Her voice was weak. Way too
weak.

He rushed to her side. “Candy…can you hear me?”
Gently, he caressed her arm. “It’s me, Rich. I’m here.”