Crazy For You (33 page)

Candy was cast in a small part in the movie. She
didn’t want to break the sister relationship so she also dubbed the
last name Cantrell
.

Roxanne’s scenes began shooting when Frankie was
about six weeks old. By this time
Without Her
had broken the
top twenty on the music charts. Sadly, it didn’t break the top ten.
Other singles were released from Garrett-Hollander’s first album
including
Roxanne
, but none of them were destined to break
into the top ten—not at this time. Garrett-Hollander had thought
they were headed to the top, but unfortunately their first album
was labeled a flop. Luckily, their contract called for one more
album.

Kirk didn’t find out the identity of the baby’s
father until he and Roxanne were well into filming their scenes for
The Secret. It happened one day when Roxanne and Candy had joined
Kirk and Sara for lunch.

“Why are you using a stage name?” Sara was curious.
By now, she felt comfortable around Roxanne and didn’t have a
problem nosing into her husband’s co-star’s business.

“Well...” Roxanne hesitated. Perhaps, it was better
to admit the truth and then beg for discretion. “I don’t want
Frankie’s father to find me.”

“He didn’t know you were pregnant when you left,
right?” Sara said, as if she were trying to get the story
straight.

“No,” Roxanne said.

“What made you decide to leave without telling him?”
Sara wondered about this because she knew Roxanne was still in love
with her baby’s father. Her mental instability proved that.

“He wouldn’t be where he is today if I’d told him,”
she said. “He would have quit the band to take care of us.”

“Huh?” Now Sara was confused. She thought she knew
everything there was to know about this Frank fellow. She stood
corrected.

“Frank is Frank Garrett of Garrett-Hollander,” Candy
said with a tight smile. “Surprise.”

“What?” Kirk nearly choked.

“Really?” Sara was too awed to pay much attention to
Kirk’s reaction. And she didn’t understand Roxanne’s reasoning.
Frank Garrett made women everywhere swoon, and Roxanne Simon had
not only dumped him but she’d run out on him.

Kirk had a different opinion. He resented Frank
Garrett, although he didn’t realize it at the time. In his eyes,
Frank wasn’t worthy of Roxanne. Roxanne had said that Frank had
been mean to her and he didn’t like the idea of anybody being mean
to Roxanne, for any reason whatsoever.

T
he Secret opened in
October. Lyle had Kirk escort Roxanne to the premiere for publicity
purposes. Roxanne sat silently through the entire movie. She was
secretly impressed with herself, proud over the fine performance
she’d given.

Outside the theater, the press lurked about, eager
for those affiliated with the film to come out and talk to them.
One reporter in particular, Max Belair, had a few questions for Ms.
Cantrell. He’d done some research on her and learned a lot in the
process. For instance, he knew her name wasn’t really Amanda
Cantrell. He knew her name was actually Roxanne Simon. He also knew
she’d had a lengthy affair with Frank Garrett, co-founder of the
rock band Garrett-Hollander. He found it curiously odd that she’d
mysteriously left him more than a year ago. But, the most
intriguing thing of all, Roxanne Simon gave birth to a bouncing
baby boy just after the first of the year. Now Max never claimed to
be a math whiz or anything, but if his calculations served him
correctly then he’d bet that Roxanne’s kid belonged to Frank
Garrett.

Roxanne and Kirk exited the theater and Max pushed
his way up to the front of the crowd. While all the other reporters
called her Amanda and asked questions about the movie, Max called
to her ever so softly, “Roxanne.” His use of her real name caught
her attention right away. “Has Frank Garrett seen the baby yet?” he
questioned her fearlessly.

Roxanne froze.

But she wasn’t the only one who’d heard Max. Kirk
had heard him, too. Knowing the importance of Frank never
suspecting for a second that Frankie was his son, Kirk stepped up
to the plate without giving a second thought about the
consequences. “Why would Frank Garrett want to see my son?”

Every reporter in attendance heard Kirk’s
proclamation loud and clear.

Roxanne couldn’t deny or confirm it. All she could
do was stand there, dumbfounded.

Sara Bronson was a forgiving woman. In the past she
had forgiven many of her husband’s mistakes. But this one was
asking too much. Not that she believed his declaration because she
knew it wasn’t true. However, the public humiliation turned out to
be more than Sara could bear. As a result, the Bronson’s six-year
marriage ended in divorce.

E
ven though
Garrett-Hollander’s first album didn’t do as well as expected,
financially, the song
Without Her
was nominated for a
Grammy. And it was in competition with Kirk Bronson’s title tract
from the movie The Secret.

When the Academy Award nominations came around, The
Secret’s nominations totaled nods in six categories. The movie
received recognition for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress,
Best Director, Best Screenplay and Best Song.

When the Grammys were awarded, Frank lost to
Kirk.

When the Oscars were presented, Kirk accompanied
Roxanne and Candy to Los Angeles. Their stay in California equaled
less than twenty-four hours but Roxanne was scared to death of
running into Frank. After all, he was out there on tour.
Somewhere.

Mark Ryan, recipient of last year’s Best Actor
award, taunted the audience. “Oh, you guys don’t really want to
know who it is, do you?” He stuffed the card back into the
envelope.

Some attendees spoke up, telling him
differently.

“Okay…all right, I’ll tell you.” He paused briefly,
tearing into the envelope again. “Amanda Cantrell for The
Secret.”

Amanda Cantrell
. Roxanne sat there stunned,
until she realized that was her. Somehow, she made it up on the
stage. “I wasn’t expecting this,” she said breathlessly, gazing out
at the audience. “But thank you all so very much.” She looked down
at the audience and saw Kirk sitting beside her empty seat. She
wished Frank were there. “First, I’d like to thank Lyle Williams
and Martin Ford, both of whom convinced me that I could do this
part. And Jason Fischer. Without him there never would have been a
book, much less a movie called The Secret.” She paused, admiring
the statuette in her hand. “And my sister Candy.” She looked at
her. “Can you believe it?” Roxanne’s heart was about to pound out
of her chest. She drew in a breath. “And last but not least, I’d
like to thank someone who’s very near and dear to my heart.
Unfortunately, I don’t get to see you anymore, but you were the
spark that ignited the flame for The Secret.” She almost choked on
the words and forced the negative feelings out with a hoarse,
rumbling cough. “Thank you all,” she said, finding the strength to
wrap her acceptance speech up gracefully. “And anyone else I may
have forgotten.” Roxanne stepped away from the podium. The thought
to acknowledge Kirk Bronson, her co-star, never crossed her
mind.

~ ~ ~

Frank looked at Candy. “Who was it?”

“Who was who?”

“Who was she talking about at the Oscars?”

“Who do you think, numbskull?” Candy laughed at him.
Not with him, but at him.

“Who do you think...?” Frank mocked her. “If I knew
I wouldn’t be asking you.”

“Who was the one person that pushed her to write?”
she questioned him. “The one who supported her and constantly
offered her reassurance?”

Frank’s blank stare reached out and grabbed a hold
of Candy.

“You, Frank!” Candy rolled her eyes, her patience
about to snap.

“Me?” he asked with an unbelievable innocence.
Turning away, he looked out the window. He was sitting in her
chair, and he wondered how many times Roxanne had sat here staring
out of this very same window. There was a lot to see outside.

“Are you going to be okay?” Candy asked, as if she
could see his inner struggle—the one he thought he’d kept hidden
away.

He let his gaze linger on the scene outside the
window and then slowly turned back to Candy. “I really don’t know,”
he said truthfully. “She’s been in the coma for months now, but
it’s not getting any easier to deal with. If it weren’t for
Frankie, I wouldn’t care if I lived or died.”

“Frank, you’ve got to be strong,” Candy snapped at
him. “For your son.”

“I’m not going anywhere, if that’s what you’re
worried about,” he said. “I deserve to live in the hell I’ve
created.”

“Maybe you should talk to someone,” she suggested.
“Maybe you should talk to Jerry.”

Frank cackled. “I’m not talking to that
fruitcake.”

“Frank,” Candy said. “We all love Roxanne dearly. We
all miss her and we want her to wake up. But you’re in way over
your head.” She shrugged and bit into her bottom lip. “You can’t go
on like this.”

“Candy, I know you mean well.” He gave her the
benefit of a doubt. “But pouring my heart and soul out to someone
about how much I love Roxanne and how much I hate myself for what
I’ve done to her, and our son...” He shook his head. “...is not
going to happen.”

“Well then, I suppose if you’re ever lucky enough to
see my sister standing before you again...then you should remember
this. And whatever you do, you’d better swallow your silly pride
and try your damnedest to convince her that you really do love
her.” She paused, seriousness washing over her expression. “But
I’ll tell you this...” Her tone followed suit with its own form of
sincerity. “If I ever see you treating her the way you have in the
past...I’ll cut you down and blow you out of the water.”

She was so serious, it was kind of cute. And it
almost cut the tension. Almost. “And you’re assuming that she’s
going to wake up. I pray for that every minute of every day…but
even God is condemning me.”

The way Frank saw it, if everything he’d learned as
a kid was true, then God had the power to heal Roxanne. And Frank
had been begging him to do just that, but God wasn’t listening.
Even He must be thinking Frank didn’t deserve to have Roxanne back
in his life.

***

Chapter 29

C
andy and Rich had begun a
daily ritual inside Roxanne’s study where they’d work on the book.
As usual, she waited anxiously for the hard copy as it came off the
printer. “I heard Glen and Ronnie started a new band,” she said,
making small talk.

“They did,” he answered.

“Did they ask you to play with them?”

“Yes.”

“So why’d you turn them down?”

“Well, Candy…it’s all about loyalty.” He was certain
she could understand that. “See, Garrett-Hollander was, is, and
always will be, a team. If I joined them, it’d be too much like
Garrett-Hollander. The next thing you know, we’d be playing
Garrett-Hollander’s music.”

“And there’s something wrong with that?” she asked,
as if it were a trick question.

“If playing our music hurts Frank...then I can’t be
a party to it being played.”

“I see,” she said slowly. “I suppose loyalty isn’t
always a good thing, is it?”

“It may not always make you happy,” he said. “But if
you’re not loyal then you probably don’t have many friends.”

“So what you’re saying is…no matter how misguided
your loyalty is, you should always remain faithful to your
friends.”

“You wrote the book on that one, didn’t you.”

“I guess I did.”

“Got any more for me to read?” he asked, wanting
desperately to change the subject.

Candy gathered up the papers and gave him a smile as
she handed them to him without a word.

~ From the autobiography

Shortly after the Academy Awards Roxanne and Kirk
began their ill-fated affair. Their time together was bittersweet
and very short. It was sad, really, the two of them. First, because
Kirk truly loved Roxanne. Maybe he had all along, he just hadn’t
realized it. And Roxanne, Roxanne wanted someone to make her feel
the way Frank Garrett had. She convinced herself Kirk was capable
of doing that. In the end, it didn’t matter what Kirk did or said
because Roxanne couldn’t put Frank out of her heart or her head.
Kirk knew it, too.

The end came swiftly. They’d gone out to dinner and
neither of them went to the restaurant to call it quits, but fate
took a hand and gave their breakup a little push.

Roxanne and Kirk were tucked away in a dark,
secluded corner of the restaurant that was illuminated only by
candlelight. There was no one there to bother them. No one to
intrude upon them, or interfere with what was about to happen.

Kirk sipped his wine and gazed at Roxanne. He would
have married her and raised her son as his own. But she wouldn’t
hear of it. He’d asked her to marry him and she’d turned him down
flatly. She’d made it clear she wouldn’t teach her son a lie. And
telling Frankie that Kirk was his father would be a lie.

“No one can say we didn’t try,” Kirk said.

“Lord knows we tried,” she agreed with a feeble
smile.

“Probably harder than we should have.”

Roxanne reached across the table for his hand.
Hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do, and she hated that
it was happening. But what else could she do? Staying with him
wasn’t fair to either of them. Especially Kirk. He knew, just as
she did, that she couldn’t give him the love he deserved or
needed.

Besides, they both had to get on with their
respective lives. Kirk had a European tour coming up, and Roxanne’s
second novel Always and Forever was on the bestseller list and Lyle
was putting together a cast for the movie. Again, Roxanne would be
his star. But this time, Kirk would not be her leading man. Lyle
had said he had to give her a new co-star because she couldn’t
afford to be typecast with Kirk Bronson.