Crazy For You (40 page)

Roxanne’s curious eyes darted back to Candy. “Was
Frank the reason I wanted to stay in Tampa?”

Candy thought about it for a long time before she
finally said, “Yes.”

“This is all so confusing.” Roxanne didn’t hide her
frustration. “I just wish I could remember something.
Anything.”

“Okay, Rocky…” Candy reached out for her. “Calm
down. Everything’s okay. We’ll all help you with anything you need
to know. Frank, me, Rich, and even Frankie.”

“You guys can try to help me all you want,” she said
hopelessly, “but I’ll still just screw everything up.”

“What are you talking about?” Candy asked,
confused.

“I’ve screwed everything up already,” Roxanne said.
“My family comes here to see me, and who does my husband find when
he gets here?” She didn’t wait for Candy’s reply. “His arch enemy.
That’s who.”

“Speaking of Kirk…” A hint of restraint entered
Candy’s tone. “How is it that he happened to be here anyway?”

“He came upon me down on the beach a few days ago.
He knew me, but I didn’t have a clue who he was.” Roxanne shrugged.
“So I brought him up to the house, and Jason and Jerry clearly knew
him. Then it came out in the conversation that Kirk was with me
when I had Frankie…so, I thought he was my friend.”

“And nobody told you the rest, huh?”

“Nobody told me about Kirk’s public claim to be
Frankie’s father, or that Frank had believed it for several years.”
She stopped, caught her breath and shook her head. “Candy if I’d
known what Kirk’s being here would do to Frank, I would have asked
him to leave before you guys got here.”

“You need to be telling that to Frank...not me.”

“That’s true.”

“Roxanne...” Candy chose her words carefully. “Frank
loves you more than anything. But he’s very vulnerable right
now.”

“I’m not sure I follow you.”

“Rocky, you know that I’d never lie or mislead you,
don’t you?”

Roxanne nodded.

“You’ve got that same look in your eyes…the one you
had when you first met Frank.” Candy wore a frightened look, like
she was walking down some dark, hostile alley. “But Frank is in a
different place than you. He’s spent the last eight months living
with the fear that each day would be the day when Jerry would tell
us you’d died.” Candy’s words were solemn and true. “And while you
can’t recall a single thing about your time with him…he’s been
reliving every one of those memories over and over again, and
beating himself up for the mistakes he made with you.”

“What if he decides I’m not worth the trouble
again?” Roxanne asked weakly.

“I don’t really see that happening.” Candy laughed
softly. “My point is…Frank needs a little encouragement.”

“Encouragement?”

“All I’m saying is...you don’t need to hide your
feelings from him. Frank’s not going to reject you.” She looked at
Roxanne with that look of hers. The one that said she was right and
she knew it. “But he’s had enough despair lately. And if you want
to pursue your feelings for him, it would be nice if you’d let him
know that.”

“You really think I should tell him that I’m
attracted to him?” Roxanne wasn’t so sure that was a great
idea.

“Yes!” Candy said as if her patience had worn way
past thin. “Let him know he’s not alone.”

Let him know he’s not alone
. Humph. All
Roxanne knew for sure was that she couldn’t wait to see him again.
After acknowledging that, she guessed she had to admit that he
wasn’t alone after all.

***

Chapter 34

F
rank hadn’t shown up by
the time dinner was served later that afternoon. His absence left
Roxanne feeling antsy during the entire meal. She’d expected him to
be there, and when he didn’t show up she was disheartened. After
dinner, she searched the entire house and still couldn’t find him
anywhere.

Determined, she went out back to search the grounds.
The sun, not far from disappearing behind the horizon, barely lit
the little path behind the house that led to the far end of the
property. Luckily, Roxanne knew it well. There was a little garden
alcove hidden at the end of the trail amid trees, shrubbery, and
flowers. She tried to contain her relief when she saw him sitting
alone on the bench in the little garden.

“Excuse me...” She went around to the front of the
bench and faced him. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“Of course you’re not disturbing me.” He smiled
softly and reached out for her hand. “Come sit with me.” He saw the
wedding rings on her finger. “You’re wearing your rings.” That
puzzled him and delighted him all at the same time.

“They were there when I woke up,” she said, looking
at her hand. “I just couldn’t bring myself to take them off.” She
paused, recalling how, over the last few months, she’d tried
several times to remove the rings but she just couldn’t do it. “I
really need to tell you that I’m sorry.” She sat down beside him.
“I had no idea that his being here would bother you so much.”

“You don’t need to apologize to me.”

“Yes, I do,” she said. “If I’d known, I never would
have…” her voice trailed off and she looked away.

“Roxie...” Frank brushed her hair back from her
face. “It’s not necessary.”

“Yes, it is,” she said more forcefully, turning back
to look at him. “Frankie, I really need to tell you I’m sorry. And
I really need you to forgive me.”

“Roxie I would forgive you anything.” He paused,
smiling sadly. “You know, Candy once told me that if I was ever
lucky enough to have you standing before me again...I should
swallow my pride and do my best to convince you that I do love
you.”

“After everything I’ve done to you, and after all
that’s happened, you can still love me?” A part of her wanted that
to be true.

“Yes. We both made a lot of mistakes. But the
mistakes you made were not malicious or spiteful toward me.” He
looked at her with pleading eyes. “I know now that whatever you did
back then, none of it was ever meant to hurt me.”

“I need you to help me. I need you to share with me
your memories of us.”

“Well...” He grinned impishly. “My memories may be
rather one-sided.”

“That’s a chance I’m willing to take.”

“Then I will try to be as objective as I possibly
can.”

“Tell me about when we met?” she asked. “And not
some summarized version, either. I want to know everything that
happened and don’t leave out a single detail.”

“Okay.” Frank laid his arm on the back of the bench.
His hand barely touched her arm, but still, chills rushed through
her. “Let’s see…it was a Saturday night and the band wasn’t
playing,” he said of Garrett-Hollander. “I was out by myself at
this club called The Other Place. It was pretty crowded, but it
didn’t take me long to single you out. I watched you for a while
before you spotted me. Candy spent most of her time on the dance
floor and every so often she’d come over and chat with you
briefly.” He smiled, recalling the evening in detail. “After a
while, you caught me watching you. And I’ve gotta tell you…when we
first looked at each other, something happened.” He paused, as if
trying to figure it out. “From that moment on, I’ve never been able
to look at another woman without wanting and wishing for you.”
Frank had finally confessed something he’d never admitted to
anyone, except maybe through his music.

“That’s very flattering.” She turned a vivid scarlet
color around her cheeks.

“And true.” He sighed heavily. “You looked away
shyly. Before too long Candy was at your side again, so I took the
opportunity to move to a different place in the bar undetected.
When she went back to the dance floor, you looked back over to
where I’d been standing. When you saw I wasn’t there,
disappointment spread over your face...and that’s when I knew.”

“That’s when you knew what?” she asked
cautiously.

“That you and I were on the same page,” he said.
“That’s all the encouragement I needed.”

Roxanne remembered what Candy had said about giving
him encouragement. “If you’d seen inside the dining room this
evening, you would’ve most likely seen that same look of
disappointment on my face.”

“Really?” Frank asked, hopeful.

“Yes.” She was too embarrassed to look at him. “I
was hoping to see you at dinner, and I was disappointed when you
didn’t show up.”

“I’m sorry.” He found himself apologizing. “I wasn’t
avoiding you. I just needed some time to think things through.” He
shook his head. “Believe me, it’s a scary feeling when the one you
love doesn’t know who you are.”

“I wish I could remember you. I wish I could
remember us.” Surely there must have been some love at some point.
They did after all conceive a son.

“If you’re willing,” he said. “We can always make
new memories.”

“I’m very open to that idea.” She smiled shyly,
unable to tear her gaze away. “Normally, I couldn’t admit this to
you…but with things the way they are, I’ll tell you that I’m very
attracted to you and I find the thought of never seeing you again a
little disturbing.”

“Well then...do you think we should take the time to
see if our marriage can survive?” he asked with a measure of hope.
“I mean, we could start all over again. If you give me a chance,
I’ll make you fall for me.”

“If you play your cards right,” she said
suggestively, “that might not take much effort at all.”

“That’s what I’m counting on.” He flashed her a
genuinely happy smile.

“But you still have to share your memories with me.
I want to know what made me fall for you in the first place.”

“I can only give you my view of that.”

“That’s all I’m asking for. You’re the only one who
can show me what we shared.” She stared with longing at him. “What
was it? What attracted you to me?”

“Have you looked in a mirror?” he asked offhandedly.
“I’ll admit, the initial attraction was purely physical.” He let
out a little chuckle. “But I guess the attraction was so strong
that I kind of became obsessed with possessing you—” He stopped
abruptly and cut his eyes to look at her. “But I’m getting ahead of
myself...let’s go back to that first night.”

“Yes, lets.”

“Well, like I’ve already said, something happened to
me that night. You were different from all the other girls I’d ever
known.”

“How so?”

“Well...” He paused, as if thinking about it. “I was
used to women going the extra mile to throw themselves at me. And
there you were, so shy and reserved.” A haunted smile crossed his
face. “You didn’t know I was in a band until I told you. But it was
clear beforehand...you liked
me
. Not the guy who got up on
stage and sang a pretty song. You claimed my heart and I was never
able to offer any part of it to another soul—until I met
Frankie.”

Roxanne looked away. “Do I really deserve to be
loved so much?” The misery of not being able to remember haunted
her.

“You’ve never done anything to not deserve it.”

“I hid your son from you,” she reminded him. “And
worse yet, I let someone else publicly claim to be his father,” she
added with a measure of self-condemnation in her tone.

“It really wasn’t as hateful as it sounds.”

“You’re awfully forgiving. How did we ever
part?”

“My crime is not seeing then what I see now.”

“Well maybe this time we’ll both learn from our
mistakes,” she said, hopeful.

“I know I have.”

“Candy says you’re the reason I wanted to stay in
Tampa all those years ago.”

“Oh, God...” He sighed, remembering the anguish he’d
felt when he learned she was only visiting the city. “When you told
me you didn’t live in Tampa, I thought I was gonna die.” He laughed
at himself. “I took a big chance in not pursuing you too heavily
that night.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I think we could’ve slept together that night
if I’d pressed the matter,” he speculated. “But there was also a
chance I could’ve scared you away. So in the end, I just let you
know I really wanted to see you again and asked you to call me,
even if it was only to say goodbye.”

“So I called?” she asked, enjoying the story.

“Not for about two weeks.” He snorted. “That was the
worst two weeks of my life. I spent the entire time replaying every
second of the night we met, trying to figure out where I’d gone
wrong.”

“Two weeks...?” Roxanne didn’t understand her own
actions. “Why did I wait so long?” she asked no one in
particular.

“I think it probably had something to do with the
fact that you were looking for a place to live. You bought a condo
and settled in during that time.”

“Well thank God you didn’t blow me off!” She gasped,
feeling a shiver of panic. “Especially after I waited so long to
call you.”

Frank could only laugh at the absurdity of that
idea. He could have sooner stopped breathing than blow her off.
“You and I were inseparable from that day on.”

“It sounds like we were really happy.”

“We were.” Frank’s gaze traveled over Roxanne. She
looked tired. “It’s getting late. Do you want to go in?”

“I am a little tired,” she said reluctantly. “Maybe
we should call it a night.” She drew a breath. “This won’t end
here. Tonight. Will it?”

“It’ll never end,” he said with certainty. “Not even
your lapse of memory can stop it…don’t you see? You and I…we were
meant to be.”

Frank knew it was true because he’d seen it in her
eyes. That same look from such a long time ago. Finally, the look
of fear was gone. It’d been replaced with the look of love.

Frank walked Roxanne to her bedroom door. “I cannot
begin to tell you how happy I am to have you standing here before
me,” he said.

“Thank you.” She smiled. “As it turns out...it
hasn’t been nearly as scary as I’d imagined.”

“You have nothing to fear from me.”