Crazy For You (17 page)

Her heart thudded harder. This was it. This was the man she was going to give herself to, the man she loved more than she’d loved anyone.

The truth of that realization spread throughout her like warm honey. She was in love with Clint and now, for this moment in time, she would have him.

As the thoughts rolled through her mind, he opened the packet and in a mere moment was rolling a condom down his erection. He stretched out above her, bracing his hands to either side of her head and looked at her with an expression that melted her even more.

He moved his hips so that he was between her thighs, spreading them wide. He grasped his cock and put the head against her core. She found herself holding her breath, both scared and excited at the same time.

With a fierce look on his face, he drove his cock inside her.

A cry ripped from her at the incredible pain of his entry. Tears rolled from the corners of her eyes. As she met his gaze she saw that he was staring at her in shock, his body frozen, his cock still buried inside her.

“You’re a virgin.” The words came out rough.

She tried for a smile. “Not anymore.”

He held himself still and closed his eyes. After a moment passed, he opened them again. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She swallowed back a lump that had grown in her throat. “Does it make a difference?”

“Yes.” His jaw tensed. “I wouldn’t have taken you like this.”

Her lower lip trembled. “Because I’m not experienced?”

“Of course not.” He let out a slow exhale. “I would have been more careful with you if I’d known. I’d have done everything I could not to hurt you.”

She put her hands on his shoulders. “I’m okay.” She gave him a smile. “Take me now.”

His expression turned to one of tenderness and he stroked her hair from her face. “It’s probably going to hurt—more than it already does.”

“It’s all right.” She arched her hips, pressing her body closer to his. “Just don’t stop.”

He reached between them and began rubbing her clit as he slowly began moving in and out of her. She tried not to grimace from the initial pain. Soon the pain eased and the combination of him moving in and out of her while he stroked her clit with his fingers gave her a kind of pleasure that she’d never experienced before.

She felt an orgasm coming on as he took her and she moved her hips up to meet his.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he met her gaze.

“Don’t stop.” The orgasm rushed closer and closer. “Do it faster.”

His pace increased as he took her. He looked pained as if afraid he was going to hurt her.

“It feels so good.” Her whole body rocked as he thrust in and out. “So, so good.”

Her words seemed to relax him a little and there was a shift in the way he took her. It was as if his worry about hurting her eased.

An amazing feeling unfurled in her body and she gave a soft moan of pleasure. It felt so good having him inside her. No matter what happened, this would be with her always.

He stroked her clit harder and an explosion rocketed through her body. She gave a loud cry and he whispered in her ear, offering her comforting words. She shook and trembled and saw stars behind her eyes.

She didn’t think she’d ever come down from the place he’d taken her. She didn’t want to come down. He kept thrusting and she climaxed again.

Perspiration coated her skin as sweat beaded on his forehead. And then he shouted her name as he climaxed. He thrust until he had milked the last of his orgasm and hers.

When he finished, he pressed his groin tight to hers. With his cock still inside her, he rolled them both onto their sides and brought her into his embrace and held her tight.

Ella was a virgin.
Had been
a virgin. Clint dragged his palm down his face as he stood in the cabin’s small bathroom. He braced both hands on the sink and stared at his reflection. He’d never taken a woman’s virginity before.

Sonofabitch. He’d gone and taken something from Ella that could never be replaced. So much had been stolen from her in her life. He wanted to give to her, to fill her life full.

Why hadn’t she told him?

He pushed away from the sink and walked out into the main room and looked at the rumpled bed sheets. She’d left while he’d been asleep. How she managed to go without waking him up was beyond him. He was usually a light sleeper.

Without bothering to make up the bed, he dressed in worn jeans and a work shirt before pulling on his socks and boots and jamming his western hat on his head. He strode out of the cabin and shut the door hard behind him.

A part of him was glad she’d never been with another man. It made his sense of protectiveness and his feelings of her belonging to him even stronger.

The other part of him felt like shit for having those feelings. He wouldn’t have pushed the way he had, wouldn’t have been so controlling. He would have let her guide their lovemaking.

She’d deserved slow and caring, not the fierce wildness with which he’d taken her. He had managed to control himself to a point, but she’d deserved better.

Feeling disgusted with himself, he strode into the barn and came to a stop. Ella was leaning into the fifty-gallon drum as she scooped out some sweet oats. Her back was to him as she bent over, her ass looking perfect in her jeans.

His throat worked as he swallowed and he gritted his teeth at the sudden ache in his groin. He wanted to go to her and press himself tight against her. Hell, he wanted to take her right there in the barn.

She straightened, bringing out a can with feed, and turned away from the drum. She went still when she saw him watching her.

Her face flushed a deep pink and she hurried to head toward the horse stalls. He strode across the distance that separated them and caught her by the arm. She tried to jerk away from him but he kept a firm grip on her.

“Let me go.” Her voice sounded strained and she didn’t look at him.

“We need to talk.” He relaxed his grip but didn’t release her. With her gaze still fixed somewhere else, he pulled her so that she was facing him and he took her face in his hands. Without thinking, he brought his mouth down on hers.

He knew he should be taking it slowly with her, but he couldn’t help his raw need for her. Not just for her body. It was more the need to have her heart, too. Yes, her heart more than anything else.

When he drew away, she stared up at him, her expression one of embarrassment.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He stroked hair from her face. “Like I said, if I’d known, things would have been different.”

She looked down at the can of sweet oats. “You wanted someone with more experience.”

He frowned and lifted her chin with his fingers. “Is that what you think?”

She still didn’t meet his gaze.

“Look at me.” He gave her no choice but to look into his eyes. “I would have been gentle.”

Her eyes glistened. “You wouldn’t have wanted me.”

He put his thumb over her lips. “The only difference it makes is that I would have tried not to hurt you. Instead, I took something from you and caused you pain.”

“You didn’t take anything from me that I didn’t want to give to you.” Her throat worked. “You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted like that. But I don’t have the experience you’re probably used to.”

“Don’t say that.” He stroked hair from her face. “Experience has nothing to do with it. All I care about is you.”

In that moment he wanted to tell her that he loved her, but it didn’t feel like the right time. He wanted it to be special and not associated with any pain he’d caused her. He didn’t want her to think he was saying it out of any kind of obligation.

The fact that he loved her had hit him sure and strong, and he knew that he’d loved her from the moment she’d slapped him at the rodeo.

He brought her into his embrace and held her close as he kissed the top of her head. He breathed in her sweet scent and enjoyed how soft she felt in his arms.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he murmured against her hair.

She shifted and stepped back but he didn’t let her go. She tilted her head and met his gaze. “You didn’t hurt me.”

“Then what’s wrong?” He caressed her cheek with his fingertips. “Don’t tell me it’s because you’re inexperienced, because that doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“Okay, I won’t tell you.” She gave him a shy smile and he smiled at her in return.

The way she looked at him made his heart melt and he crushed her to him again. “You know that I’m never letting you go, don’t you?”

Ella put her forehead against Clint’s chest and his warmth and masculine scent surrounded her. She had felt embarrassed but he made her feel good about herself in a way she had never felt before.

What did he mean by his statement that he was never letting her go? She was afraid to ask.

The sound of an approaching vehicle made her straighten. She heard the rattle of a truck bouncing over potholes in the dirt driveway and she stepped out of Clint’s embrace. He walked at her side and they left the barn together.

Johnny Parker pulled his truck up to the barn and cut the engine. As Johnny climbed out of his truck, Clint put his arm around Ella’s shoulders, catching her off guard. Johnny came to a halt and frowned.

Ella slipped out of Clint’s hold and walked toward Johnny. “Hi.” She offered him a smile, but he didn’t return it. He looked upset and her smile faded. “What’s wrong, Johnny?”

He glanced at Clint then at her. “Nothing,” he said, but she could tell something was going on.

Clint stepped forward and offered his hand. When Ella looked at him, his expression was tight. “Nice to see, Johnny.”

Johnny wore a sullen look as he took Clint’s hand. Both men held on a beat more than Ella thought they should have.

When they released hands, Johnny turned to Ella. “Came by to see if you still want to go to the rodeo in Payson this weekend.”

In all that had been going on, she’d forgotten about it. “I’m so sorry, Johnny.” She gave him an apologetic look. “I’m contracted with a gallery in Scottsdale now and I need to work on my next bronze.”

Johnny raised his eyebrows. “You showed your work to a gallery?”

Ella nodded in Clint’s direction. “Clint did it. He took two of the pieces I made for Mom and Dad and showed it to a western art gallery.” She looked back at Johnny. “The owners of the place asked to see more so we showed them two of the finished bronzes I had in my studio. They wanted all that I have plus more.”

Just saying the words made her feel warm inside and she continued, “I need to spend as much time as possible finishing the piece I’m working on now and start a new one.”

“I’m happy for you, Ella sweetheart.” Johnny pulled her toward him and gave her a big hug that was longer and tighter than usual. “You deserve it.”

She smiled when he drew away. Clint caught her off guard by putting his arm around her shoulders again. When she looked up at him he had a dark, possessive look on his face. She frowned again. Why was he acting this way around Johnny, who was just a friend?

Then it occurred to her that he’d asked what Johnny meant to her. It had been Clint’s way of finding out if she was having a romantic relationship with her friend.

Ella was half annoyed at Clint’s attitude and possessiveness, and half pleased. Maybe a little bit more annoyed.

She stepped out of Clint’s hold and gave a nod toward the house. “Come on in. Mom baked shortbread cookies.”

For the first time since arriving at the ranch, Johnny smiled. “I love Mrs. Fisher’s cookies.”

“Come on then.” Ella linked her arm through Johnny’s. “She’ll be glad to see you.”

Ella didn’t have to see Clint’s expression to know he was pissed. She could feel it emanating from him in waves.

Soon she and Johnny reached the house. When she glanced over her shoulder, she saw that Clint had headed back to the barn.

Johnny looked, too, before he turned back to Ella. “What’s he doing here?”

“He works for Dad now.” The screen door creaked as she opened it.

When they were in the house and Johnny had closed the door behind him, he said, “Why is he working here?”

She swiped a strand of hair out of her eyes. “Dad wants to give me more time to work on my sculptures.” She moved through the house and into the kitchen, Johnny walking at her side. “I feel guilty not doing the ranch work myself, but Dad is determined.”

When they reached the kitchen, Ella drew in a deep breath of the aroma of fresh baked cookies. Her mother wasn’t there, but a plate of shortbread cookies was. Ella went to the fridge and brought out a carton of milk while Johnny got out two glasses. He’d been coming over to her house and had been her best friend since they were kids. With his rough upbringing, she knew her home had always been like a second home to him.

After Ella poured the milk, they sat on either side of the small kitchen table, each with a glass, a plate, and the platter of cookies between them.

“How does your mom always know when I’m coming and bakes my favorite?” He bit into a cookie, crumbs scattering over the plate in front of him.

“A sixth sense, I guess.” Ella smiled and bit into her own cookie.

Johnny set his cookie on his plate. “Do you have a thing going on with McBride, Ella?”

She felt heat in her cheeks. “Why?”

Johnny looked away before turning his gaze back on Ella. “He’s going to leave again.”

She stared at her plate. She couldn’t argue with him. Clint had never said he was going to stay. “I know.”

“He’ll break your heart.” Johnny reached across the table and put his hand over hers. The cookie she was holding crumbled in her fist. “You’ve got to know that.”

She sucked in her breath. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Someone needs to tell you that.” Johnny’s features tensed. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

She blew out the breath she’d been holding as she wished she could control the pain twisting her heart. She met his gaze. “I want to talk about something else.”

He gave a slow nod, but she thought she saw pain in his own eyes. It was as if he was feeling her pain.

She brushed the crumbs from the crumbled cookie onto her plate. She rested her arms on the tabletop, doing what she could to change the subject. “I’m sorry that I can’t make it this weekend.”