Crazy Little Thing Called Love (35 page)

His mother had asked about him breaking up
with Bluebell. He hadn’t. He’d destroyed them, shut it down, shut
it out. He was good at that. He’d looked into her big blue eyes and
seen the truth behind her statement and he’d pushed her away. He
could still see the hurt look on her face, could see the hope that
he might say the one thing he’d never been able to say to any
woman.

She loved him and he’d hurt her. He’d never
wanted that. For the first time, he cared that he’d hurt a woman,
that she’d wanted something from him and he hadn’t been able to
give it. He just didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t know how to
deal with the crushing mix of panic and guilt and relief that ate
at him every time he thought of her. If he was smart he’d find a
distraction, a way to think of something other than Bluebell. He
wasn’t so sure how smart he was anymore.

It took her almost a full week in Denver to
make peace with her old life, to pack it up and head back home to
Texas, to Fate, to Montgomery Oaks. The last time she made the trip
to Fate it was supposed to be a temporary stop, a get in and get
out situation. This time she knew she would never leave again. It
was her home, it always had been and that understanding helped her
breath a little easier as the panic set in of what her future would
look like now.

The day after her father’s funeral she’d had
Bobby come into the office and give her a full recounting of
ranching operations. She’d met with the other foremen and learned a
lot about the day-to-day schedules. She’d met with Oran to make
sure the financials matched what the attorneys had told her. She
had a lot left to learn about running a ranch but she surprised
herself when she realized she was looking forward to it.

All of her years of strange classes and
jumping majors and charm school and ranching combined to give her a
lot of skills that would translate to the ranch. She could do as
much or as little as she wanted. She just had to decide.

The fact that she wanted to be involved with
the Oaks at all had surprised her. That surprise helped her come to
peace with her father’s decision to sell. He’d been trying to give
her what she thought she wanted. Turns out they’d both been wrong.
She could come to terms with that.

Slowly, very slowly she was coming to terms
with her life. She had moved to Fate. She’d begun redecorating the
house and making it her own. She’d thought that would help put her
memories of her parents to rest and in a way it did. She was at
peace with them, but the renovations just brought up another ghost
that she couldn’t escape. Zach.

He wasn’t dead but he might as well have been
to her. Their arrangement was over. The end. Done and over. Dead
and gone. He hadn’t tried to call or text since he dropped her on
her front porch on the worst night of her life and drove away.

She wished she could go back. She wished
she’d never let those fateful words out of her mouth that night.
She wished she’d never heard him arguing with Devin, never woken up
and had to face any of it. She wished she’d never fallen in love
with him in the first place because she’d known how it would end if
she did and she didn’t have anyone to blame but herself for doing
it anyway.

He was never going to love her in return. He
was never going to accept her love. It was all true but she
couldn’t blame him for any of it because he’d been up front from
the beginning about who he was and what he could offer. He didn’t
do relationships. He didn’t do love.

She was destined to love emotionally
unavailable men just like her father. Well no more. She’d taken her
lumps over the years and she’d always gotten over them. She’d
fallen harder and faster for Zach than she’d ever fallen for any of
the others but just like them she’d get over him.

She just wished she could get him out of her
head. Every time she closed her eyes she got a flash of that smile
or those haunting green eyes and her heart broke again. The
memories of how he’d been there for her, let her lean on him, let
her talk when she’d needed to talk and not when she didn’t want to
broke her time and again. He’d pulled her in with his dark edges
and then turned out to be sweet and understanding and she’d fallen
and ruined all of it for them.

So far, she’d been lucky that she hadn’t run
into him in town. She prayed every morning for that string of luck
to continue. Living in a small town with the man she loved that had
rejected her wasn’t ideal but she wouldn’t run away. She just
needed some time, some time and some distance.

And a distraction. That thought broke her
heart too. She needed a distraction from her distraction. So she
took Maddie up on her offer to go out dancing. She’d had too many
beers even though she knew drinking wouldn’t really help. She’d
danced with a half dozen cowboys even though she’d known it was a
bad idea. She’d gone home alone and cried over her broken heart and
slept alone and then she went out and did it again anyway.

She was on her third beer, watching Maddie
dance with Austin at the Roadhouse. Jenny Sue sat across from her,
her hair teased and sprayed into an elaborate pouf that Blue tried
desperately not to stare at. Since she was on the rebound and not
looking to impress she hadn’t bothered to do anything but slap on a
little makeup and put her cowboy hat on over her flat hair.

“I’m so glad you girls were going out. I
don’t like to sit home when the boys are gone to their Daddy’s. The
house is just too dang quiet.” Jenny Sue sipped her margarita.

Blue nodded over the blaring music. She knew
a thing or two about quiet. That’s why she’d agreed to come out
with Maddie in the first place. There were only so many times a
girl could sit home on a Saturday night and watch cat videos on
YouTube before it became too pathetic for words. It was pathetic to
stare at her phone and will it to buzz and have it remain silent.
It was pathetic to get in her car and drive the back roads by
herself in the dark only to realize she was driving past the Triple
Star and couldn’t stop. Pathetic. So she was out and she was having
fun if it killed her.

“We haven’t really talked since your Daddy
passed. How’re you doing?”

“Okay.” Blue smiled softly and realized it
was the truth. She was doing okay. One day at a time it got a
little easier. She kept herself busy. It’s the best she could do
but someday soon she hoped she’d be better than okay.

“I heard a rumor Zach West’s been helping you
cope.” Jenny Sue wagged her eyebrows suggestively.

Her heart clenched just hearing his name. It
figured that the months they’d spent flirting and fooling around
nobody in town had so much as mentioned it but the minute it was
over the gossip had somehow gotten started. Jenny Sue wasn’t the
first to ask her about it, she was simply the latest and every time
she thought it would get easier only to feel the same emptiness in
her chest where her heart used to be.

“We’re just friends.” It was a half truth at
least. They’d just been friends, with benefits. Now they weren’t
even friends. She tipped her beer to her lips and prayed the
numbness would come for her soon.

“Oh I’d heard you two were dating.”

“Nope. Not dating.” She shook her head when
Jenny Sue persisted in her questions.

That was a full truth. They’d never dated.
He’d been very clear on that aspect. “He’s free to see whoever he
wants if you’re interested.” She nearly choked on the words but she
got them out.

“Me? Oh no way sweetheart. I gave up falling
for bad boys when I kicked my ex to the curb. I’ve sworn off
bedjumpers, liars and cheats.”

If she wasn’t trying so hard to hate Zach for
breaking her heart on the worst day of her life she’d probably have
informed Jenny Sue he wasn’t any of those things. He’d never been
with other women while he was sleeping with her and he’d never lied
about who he was or what he wanted. As it was, she let it go and
raised her beer in agreement.

“Ditto for the emotionally unavailable.”

Jenny Sue tipped her glass against Blue’s
beer bottle and they drank with a laugh. Blue relaxed back into her
chair. She’d missed hanging out with good friends. She’d moved too
much to form any deep relationships but already she had Jenny Sue
and Maddie checking up on her and dragging her out of the house
when needed. It was nice to have friends, to have a home.

“And the same goes for women.” Jenny Sue
added, “I can’t stand women that break the girl code.”

Blue raised a curious eyebrow, “We talking
about anybody in particular?”

“Peggy Sutton, that slut.” Jenny Sue snorted
and Blue gaped as she continued, “I found out she slept with my ex
Rocky while we were still married. Now I ain’t a saint but you just
don’t break the girl code like that. I’m freezing her out.”

Blue got in spirit with the newest gossip and
nodded, “She’ll think she’s in Antarctica by the time we’re done
with her.”

She wasn’t normally so vindictive or gossipy
but Jenny Sue was a good friend and she’d never particularly liked
the other thrice married brunette. Besides, she had to deal with
the memory of knowing the woman had also taken Zach’s virginity.
Two strikes and since she was in a bad place relationship wise she
was calling an audible on strike three.

They toasted again and Blue felt some of the
tension in her shoulders start to release. She played a game of
pool with Austin and then played doubles with Maddie against some
biker guys. She had another beer and was just starting to feel her
mood lift when Maddie came striding back over from the bar with big
brown eyes and her mouth formed a gape faced “O.”

“What’s wrong?” She immediately reached out
for the younger girl that she was now proud to call a friend.

“I was just at the bar and Riley showed up.”
Maddie lowered her voice, “Zach’s with him.”

Automatically her gaze lifted and found the
dark head that stood out above all the others. He was wearing his
trademark pearl snap shirt with his boots and jeans but she
couldn’t make her eyes look past the shirt. THAT shirt? Damn
him.

Her body tensed and heated in response to the
memories of the navy shirt with the gray pinstripe. He’d worn it
that last day when she buried her father, when she’d rode his lap
in his truck because she’d needed him so badly and he’d seemed to
need her just as much. If her heart had still been in her chest it
would’ve dropped to her feet.

The only saving grace she could think of was
that at least it wasn’t the white one. She’d probably make a fool
of herself by launching herself at him if that had been the case.
She refused to tip her chin up and look into his face; to wonder
and find out if those green eyes were still soft and if he’d found
her in the crowd as easily as she’d been able to find him.

“Do you want to leave?” Maddie asked.

“No.” She shook her head. She was bound to
see him eventually. Fate was a small town. It would be better to
just get it over with. She wouldn’t run. She wouldn’t let him see
how badly he’d broken her heart and she most certainly would not
throw herself into his big strong arms.

“Do you want a drink?” Maddie smiled
knowingly and gave her a reassuring nod, “You look like you could
use a drink.”

“Yeah. I think that’s going to have to
happen.” She nodded even as she felt the big presence grow
nearer.

“Hey Maddie. Hey Blue.” Riley reached them
first but Zach was only a step behind.

“Riley.” She forced herself to be strong and
looked up to meet those green eyes, “Zach.”

“Hey guys.” Maddie stood close.

“How’ve you been?” Zach spoke over the loud
music and the sound tickled her stomach like it always had.

“Holding my own.” She answered before she
thought about it and watched his eyes flash with recognition.

She’d said that to him before in this very
bar. Not very far from where they were now standing she’d said that
to him and then they’d talked about his commitment issues and then
she’d gone home with him to have no-strings sex. She licked her
lips nervously and looked away.

“Good to hear.” He cleared his throat, “I
heard you’re moving into the Oaks, that you’re staying in town
indefinitely.”

“Yeah, turns out I’m a Fate forever girl
after all.” She barely bit her tongue in time to stop the smartass,
“but don’t expect me to give up the car or the heels” because that
was just asking for trouble. Zach liked her car. Zach liked her
heels. That would be like deliberately baiting a shark. It’d be
crazy.

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t stand in
the middle of the bar and make small talk with Zach. Not with Zach.
She’d lose it. She needed a way to get away from him and fast.

“Riley, I heard all the ladies talking about
you being the best dancer in the county. Care to give me a twirl?”
She glanced at the blue-eyed brother and prayed he’d read her
desperation.

“Sure, I’d…” Riley started to reach for her
hand when Zach’s arm shot out and his palm connected with his
younger brother’s chest. The two of them exchanged a look and Riley
gave her an apologetic look, “I’d love to later but I was actually
hoping to get Maddie on the floor.”

She grit her teeth and tried not to roll her
eyes. He was really stopping his brother from dancing with her? It
was just dancing, it wasn’t like she’d propositioned Riley for
God’s sake. And even if she had, it wasn’t any of his business who
she danced with or who she slept with anymore. She glared at him
when she felt Maddie wiggle beside her.

“I’d love to.” Maddie nodded and then grabbed
Blue’s arm, “That is, if you’re okay by yourself.”

She couldn’t blame the girl for shimmying at
the chance to get her hands on one of the West boys. She’d shimmied
plenty of times at the opportunity. Sure Riley was cute and
charming even if he didn’t do it for her. She wouldn’t be surprised
if he did it for Maddie, especially after all the years she’d just
been his gal pal.