Crazy Maybe (14 page)

The words from the song she sang the night of Gran’s party come back to me and I realize the importance of them to her.  I now understand why she looked and sounded so vulnerable that night.  To me, at least, everyone else saw the confident Andi, the singer-slash-performer.  I saw the words of the song in her, even if I didn’t fully understand what it meant to her then.  She showed me her scars and she knows I’m still here with her, regardless of them or maybe even because of them.

Mom and Dad join us around the pool and I notice Dad is especially quiet tonight.  I don’t know what’s wrong with him.  He seemed fine when we got here but now he’s more distracted and somewhat irritable.  He barely joins in our conversations and a couple of times he has no idea what we were even talking about.  I know his business has taken a hit lately and I wonder if that’s what’s on his mind.  And I have more than a twinge of guilt because I know I’ve added to his past financial problems.

He’s owned his own real estate development company for years and the economy has taken a hard toll.  I make a mental note to talk to him later and find out what’s going on.  When Andi and I leave, Brandon is first in line to hug her goodbye.  If I didn’t trust her so much, I would have to kill my brother.  But I definitely know something is wrong with my dad when he seems hesitant to hug Andi goodbye.  She doesn’t seem to notice since he does eventually wrap his arms around her.

ANDI

Between the gym, the youth center, and spending time with Luke, the past month has flown by.  Luke and I have alternated staying at his apartment and my house but we’ve hardly been apart at night.  School has started back so there are more kids at the youth center in the late afternoons.  I’ve been spending more time there with the kids because so many parents aren’t home – whether they’re working or just absent from their kids’ lives altogether. 

There are a couple of girls in particular that I’m afraid could be in danger of dropping out of school or getting involved with the wrong crowd.  I don’t want to fail them – I feel like we’ve come so far.  I’ve been working on a scholarship plan for them to get them out of the area and into one of the smaller universities.  I talk to them daily about the advantages they would have if they will just apply themselves.  I’ve almost won them over.

Shane and Will came to the center last week and I was surprised to see Luke walk in with them.  Surprised and thrilled.  While Shane and Will worked with the guys on boxing, Luke took several of the boys outside and taught them how to work in the yard.  They spent the day doing manual labor to make the yard look great.  I couldn’t give the boys, and Luke, enough praise for all they did.  Several of the boys even said they enjoyed learning to landscape and making “their place” look nice.  I think Luke has sparked a whole new type of interest for the youth center.

It’s Friday afternoon and for the first time in what feels like forever, Luke and I have separate plans tonight.  I’m going out with my girlfriends –
Christina, Tania and Katie– and Luke is going out with Shane, Will and Brandon.  I can’t help but smile at how jealous and possessive Luke is of me.  I mean, does he not own a mirror?  The man is gorgeous, he’s built like the most desired male model, and he’s just all around great.  The girls are always after him and he’s worried about some guy hitting on me.  It’s comical, really.

We haven’t said those three little words yet – though I think he feels it.  I know I do.  I almost told him a couple of weeks ago after my last karaoke performance.  I sang Beyonce’s
Crazy In Love
and made no attempt to hide that I was singing the lyrics just for him.  And he didn’t take his eyes off me the whole time.  I left the stage and straddled him in his lap to sing the last verse, just for him.

So, yeah, tonight will be fun with my girls but I also can’t wait to get back home and see Luke.  We planned on meeting back at my house no matter how late it is.  Yeah, we’ve both got it bad.  But I do want to tell him I love him – even if he doesn’t say it back.  I just feel the need to tell him – now.  And I don’t want to regret not saying it when I feel it so strongly.

Luke calls just as I get home from the youth center.

“Hey baby, what are you doing?” I answer.

“Sitting here missing you,” the low, sexy timbre of his voice sends chills through me even through the phone.

“I miss you, too.  Wish I could see you.  Where are y’all going tonight?” I purr back to him.

“Shane mentioned wanting to see a band playing here this weekend,” he says.

I laugh, “Hmmm….I wonder if that’s the same band we’re going to see tonight.”

His sexy laugh rumbles through his chest, “I hope so.  Then there’s no reason why I can’t sit with my girl on the guys’ night out.”

I want to say the words so bad, but I don’t want the first time I tell him to be over the phone.  “I hope so, too.  I would love to dance with my handsome man tonight.  Maybe our friends know us well enough by now to not try to keep us apart.”

We talk for a few more minutes before I have to get ready or I’ll be late meeting the girls for dinner.  We reluctantly hang up, but only after I promise to text him where I’m at and let him know I’m fine.  He’s so protective and possessive.  I only act like I don’t love it.  I secretly do love that he cares enough to be protective over me.

I call a cab to meet the girls.  No way am I driving tonight.  I walk in the restaurant and find Katie waiting at our table.  She and I order appetizers while we wait for Christina and Tania.

“So,
Katie, something going on with you and Shane?”  I ask, catching her completely off guard, as I planned.

She chokes on a cheese stick and takes a drink of water before answering.

“Why would you ask that?”  Oh, isn’t she trying to be coy with me?

“You know, people only say that when they’re stalling and to get out of answering the direct question.  That really doesn’t work on me.  I’m a lawyer, remember?”  I say wryly.

Her face turns red and we both know she’s caught.  “I don’t really know what’s going on yet.  We’ll see.”

That’s as much of an admission as I’m going to get right now so I’ll take it.  And keep an eye on them.  And embarrass them until my questions are answered.  That’s just what friends are for.

Christina and Tania arrive, fashionably late, and we talk and laugh over dinner.  I fill them in on my karaoke status – I made it through another round of cuts and have another week to practice my next song since there’s a band playing at the club this weekend.  They ask if the guys are going to be there tonight, too, and from their excessive questioning, it appears that I’m not the only one who’s interested in the guys’ whereabouts this evening.  Interesting.

We settle the bill, meaning I insist on treating my girls, and we make our way to our usual hangout.  The guys are already there and have saved us seats.  Funny how we split up and take up the vacant seats.  I’m with Luke, of course, but I watch with amusement as
Tania sits with Brandon.  Then Christina sits with Will.  And, finally, Katie sits with Shane.  But it’s the look on each of their faces that tells the real story.  There’s something good going on with my little family here.

The band isn’t playing yet so the music isn’t too loud, but gives enough background noise for a little privacy in conversations.  I feel Luke’s hand on my face and I eagerly turn to face him.  He kisses me like he hasn’t seen me in a month, even though he left my house when I did this morning.

“I want to tell you something, Luke.  Don’t freak out on me, ok?”  I ask, never taking my eyes off his and silently willing him to be ok with my declaration.

“Ok,” he says slowly, drawing the word out and obviously ready to freak out on me.

I take a deep breath and cup his cheek in my hand, “I love you.  I just wanted to tell you.”

His hand suddenly goes to the nape of my neck and he pulls me close to him, his lips barely hovering above mine.  He sounds breathless when he says, “I love you, Andi. 
So fucking much
.”  Then he kisses me so sweetly and completely, I am literally melting into a boneless pile of freaking-hot lava right here in my seat. 

“If I hadn’t promised the guys I would stay and listen to this band, we would be going home right now,” his deep voice reverberates from my ear to the very core of me between my legs.  I should have brought a change of underwear because mine are soaked right now. 

There’s no reason I should suffer alone.  So I decide to tell him.  I lean in so close to him that I’m basically sitting in his lap.  I wrap my hand around his neck and pull close to his ear, letting my tongue slip out and trace his lobe.  His hand tightens slightly around where it was resting on my thigh.

“You know, baby, just the sound of your voice thrills me so much, my panties are fucking soaked right now.”

The fire in his eyes tells me I’m playing a dangerous game with him.  A wonderful, sexy, intriguing, dangerous game.  His hand is so tight on my thigh I wouldn’t be surprised if I had bruises in the shape of his fingers, but it doesn’t hurt.  It feels good and it’s actually making me want him even more.  I kiss his lips and lightly run my tongue along the part in his lips.  He opens and takes my invitation with vigor.  I have the distinct feeling I won’t be able to stand up for however long it takes my panties to dry.

With the darkness of the club and the cover of the oversized tables, no one can see his hand as it slowly glides farther up my thigh, then under dress, until he reaches my soaked panties.  When he feels the wetness, he moans in my mouth but continues his exploration.  He parts my legs a little more and then his fingers push the flimsy material of my panties to one side.  He lightly strokes the wet folds between my thighs, spreading my juices and soaking his own finger in the act, before he pushes it into me and I gasp.

He pulls his head back slightly to watch me as his hand keeps up its ministrations.  His thumb finds my nub and applies circular pressure while his finger moves agonizingly slowly in and out.  He’s still trying to avoid calling attention to us but I know that determined look in his eye.  He’s returning the favor of my torturing him a few minutes ago.  He’s going to make me come right here in the club, at the table with all our friends, and he knows I can’t stop him without everyone else knowing.

He turns towards me slightly so that his back partly shields me from the rest of the group as his finger and thumb continues to have their way with me.  His mouth is on my neck, giving me open mouth kisses and pushing farther into pure bliss, as a second finger joins the party going on between my legs.  But the rumble of his deep voice that nearly pushes me over the edge as he hums against my ear, “Tell me who this belongs to, Andi.  Say it.”

I have no idea how he expects me to speak right now.  I’m fairly certain I’m not even breathing.  With an extra oomph, his fingers send a bolt of lightning through me and my fingers clench around his arm, holding on for dear life.  “Say it, Andi,” he demands.

“Yours, Luke.  Only yours,” I answer breathlessly, still clutching his arm.

“If it’s mine, I want to feel it come for me. 
Now.” 
If I had the capacity for thought, speech and breathing right now, I would show and tell him how much I freaking love this show of alpha-male dominance.  But since I can do none of the above at the moment, the only thing I can do is just as he commands.  He covers my mouth in yet another sensuous and knee-buckling kiss just as I’m about to scream, thankfully muffling the sound to a whimper that’s ignored by everyone else.

I’m still coming down from my Luke-induced high when I see him lick his fingers. 
That is so fucking hot. 
Without a word or making a scene, Luke stands, grabs my hand and pulls me up with him.  We head to the dance floor and I take it for granted that we’re about to actually dance.  But my man has another idea for me….a better idea, actually. 

He leads me through the throngs of people on the dance floor until I realize we’re heading to the back of the stage.  At the other end of the long corridor that spans the entire width of the club is a bathroom that’s for performers only.  Since there’s no karaoke tonight, it would only be used the band who is currently getting set up onstage.  He locks the door behind us and I wrap my arms around his neck, going in for another kiss.

He cups my face in his hands, kissing me so thoroughly, before tearing his mouth away and running his hands down each side of my body.  Once he reaches the bottom of my dress, he pulls it up until it’s around my waist.  Then he grips one side of my panties and jerks them, ripping them completely off me.  I’m noticeably shocked at this – turned on, but still shocked – and he smirks as he puts them in his pocket.  His hands now on my hips, he quickly turns me around and bends me over the sink as he readies himself behind me.  The mirror is low enough that I can see him and he can definitely see me.

“I can’t wait until we get home.  I have to be inside you,” he grunts.  In one second, I feel the head of his impressive erection at my entrance, and with a quick thrust, he’s buried deep in me and I’m biting on the back of my hand to keep from screaming in sheer pleasure.  His thrusts are hard and deep and I’m quickly close to coming again.  He’s hitting the right spot every time, stretching me to take him fully in me.  I know I’ll be sore again but I don’t care – he feels too good.