“That’s bullshit and you know it! Your father treats his fucking golf caddie better
than me! I know my parents don’t speak Queen’s
English, I didn’t grow up in a big mansion in Bukit Timah, and I didn’t attend ACS—‘American
Cock Suckers,’ as we used to call it—but I’m not some loser, Astrid.”
“Of course you’re not.”
“Do you know how it feels to be treated like I’m the bloody tech-support guy all the
time? Do you know how it feels when I have to visit your relatives every Chinese New
Year in their incredible houses, and then you have to come with me to my family’s
tiny flats in Tampines or Yishun?”
“I’ve never minded, Michael. I like your family.”
“But your parents don’t. Think about it … in the five years we’ve been married, my
mother and father haven’t once—not even
once
—been invited to dinner at your parents’ house!”
Astrid went pale. It was true. How could she not have realized it? How had her family
been so thoughtless?
“Face it, Astrid, your parents will never respect my family the same way they respect
your brothers’ wives’ families. We’re not mighty Tans or Kahs or Kees—we’re Teos.
You can’t really blame your parents. They were born that way—it’s just not in their
DNA to associate with anyone who isn’t from their class, anyone who isn’t born rich
or royal.”
“But you’re on your way to doing just that, Michael. Look at how well your company
is doing,” Astrid said encouragingly.
“My company—ha! You want to know something, Astrid? Last December, when the company
finally broke even and we did our first profit sharing, I got a bonus check for two
hundred and thirty-eight thousand. For one minute, one whole minute, I was so happy.
It was the most money I had ever made. But then it hit me … I realized that no matter
how long I work, no matter how hard I sweat my ass off all day long, I will never
make as much money in my whole life as you make in one month alone.”
“That’s not true, Michael, that’s just not true!” Astrid cried.
“Don’t patronize me!” Michael shouted angrily. “I know what your income is. I know
how much those Paris dresses cost you! Do you know how it feels to realize that my
pathetic two-hundred-thousand-dollar bonus can’t even pay for one of your dresses?
Or that I’ll never be able to give you the type of house you grew up in?”
“I’m happy where we live, Michael. Have I ever complained?”
“I know about all your properties, Astrid, all of them.”
“Who told you about them?” Astrid asked in shock.
“Your brothers did.”
“My brothers?”
“Yes, your dear brothers. I never told you what happened when we got engaged. Your
brothers called me one day and invited me to lunch, and they all showed up. Henry,
Alex, and even Peter came down from K.L. They invited me to the snotty club on Shenton
Way that they all belong to, took me into one of the private dining rooms, and sat
me down. Then they showed me one of your financial reports. Just one. They said,
‘We want you to have a glimpse of Astrid’s financial picture, so you have an idea
of what she netted last year.’
And then Henry said to me—and I’ll never forget his words—
‘Everything Astrid has is safeguarded by the best team of lawyers in the world. No
one outside the Leong family will ever benefit from or come to control her money.
Not if she divorces, not even if she dies. Just thought you should know, old chap.’
”
Astrid was horrified. “I can’t believe it! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What good would that do?” Michael said bitterly. “Don’t you see? From day one, your
family didn’t trust me.”
“You don’t ever have to spend a single minute with my family again, I promise. I am
going to talk to my brothers. I am going to give them hell. And no one will ever ask
you to recover their hard drives or reprogram their wine fridges again, I promise.
Just please, don’t leave me,” she pleaded, the tears flooding down her cheeks.
“Astrid, you are talking nonsense. I would never want to deprive you of your family—your
whole life revolves around them. What would you do if you weren’t at Wednesday mah-jongg
with your great-aunt Rosemary, Friday-night dinner at your Ah Ma’s, or Pulau Club
movie night with your dad?”
“I can give it up. I can give all of that up!” Astrid cried, burying her head in his
lap and clinging to him tightly.
“I wouldn’t want you to. You’ll be happier without me in the long run. I’m just holding
you back.”
“But what about Cassian? How can you just abandon our son like this?”
“I’m not abandoning him. I will still spend as much time with him as you’ll let me.
Don’t you see? If I was ever going to leave, this is the perfect time—before Cassian
is old enough to be affected by it. I will never stop being a good father to him,
but I can’t stay married to you. I just don’t want to live in your world anymore.
There’s no way
I can measure up to your family, and I don’t want to keep resenting you for who you
are. I made a terrible mistake, Astrid. Please,
please
just let me go,” he said, his voice getting choked up.
Astrid looked up at Michael, realizing it was the first time she had ever seen him
cry.
*
Derogatory Hokkien term for a lower-class young man who lacks education or taste.
SINGAPORE
Peik Lin knocked softly on the door. “Come in,” Rachel said.
Peik Lin entered the bedroom gingerly, holding a gold tray with a covered earthenware
bowl. “Our cook made some
pei daan zhook
*
for you.”
“Please thank her for me,” Rachel said disinterestedly.
“You can stay in here as long as you want, Rachel, but you need to eat,” Peik Lin
said, staring at Rachel’s gaunt face and the dark circles under her eyes, puffy from
all the crying.
“I know I look like hell, Peik Lin.”
“Nothing a good facial won’t fix. Why don’t you let me whisk you away to a spa? I
know a great place in Sentosa that has—”
“Thank you, but I just don’t think I’m ready yet. Maybe tomorrow?”
“Okay, tomorrow,” Peik Lin chirped. Rachel had been saying the same thing all week,
but she had not left the bedroom once.
When Peik Lin left the room, Rachel took the tray and placed it against the wall next
to the door. She hadn’t had an appetite for days, not since the night she had fled
from Cameron Highlands. After fainting in the drawing room in front of Nick’s mother
and grandmother, she had been quickly revived by the expert ministrations of
Shang Su Yi’s Thai lady’s maids. As she regained consciousness, she found a cold towel
being dabbed on her forehead by one maid, while the other was performing reflexology
on her foot.
“No, no, please stop,” Rachel said, trying to get up.
“You mustn’t get up so quickly,” she heard Nick’s mother say.
“The girl has such a weak constitution,” she heard Nick’s grandmother mutter from
across the room. Nick’s worried face appeared over her.
“Please Nick, get me out of here,” she pleaded weakly. She had never wanted to leave
someplace more desperately in her life. Nick scooped her into his arms and carried
her toward the door.
“You can’t leave now, Nicky! It’s too dark to drive down the mountain,
lah
!” Eleanor called after them.
“You should have thought of that before you decided to play God with Rachel’s life,”
Nick said through clenched teeth.
As they drove down the winding road away from the lodge, Rachel said, “You don’t have
to drive down the mountain tonight. Just drop me off at that town we passed through.”
“We can go anywhere you want to, Rachel. Why don’t we get off this mountain and spend
the night in K.L.? We can get there by ten.”
“No, Nick. I don’t want to drive anymore. I need some time on my own. Just drop me
off in town.”
Nick was silent for a moment, thinking carefully before he responded.
“What are you going to do?”
“I want to check into a motel and go to sleep, that’s all. I just want to be away
from everyone.”
“I’m not sure you should be alone right now.”
“For God’s sake, Nick, I’m not some basket case, I’m not going to slit my wrists or
take a million Seconals. I just need some time to think,” Rachel answered sharply.
“Let me be with you.”
“I really need to be alone, Nick.” Her eyes seemed glazed over.
Nick knew that she was in a deep state of shock—he was shocked himself, so he could
scarcely imagine what she was going through. At the same time, he was racked with
guilt, feeling responsible for the damage that had been done. It was his fault again.
Intent on finding Rachel a tranquil haven, he had inadvertently led her right into
a viper’s nest. He even pulled her hand in to be bitten. His fucking
mother! Maybe one night alone would do her no harm. “There’s a little inn down in
the lower valley called the Lakehouse. Why don’t I drive you there and check you into
a room?”
“That’s fine,” she responded numbly.
They drove in silence for the next half hour, Nick never taking his eyes off the treacherous
curves, while Rachel stared at the rush of blackness out her window. They pulled up
to the Lakehouse shortly after eight. It was a charming, thatched-roof house that
looked like it had been transported straight out of the Cotswolds, but Rachel was
too numb to notice any of it.
After Nick had checked her into a plushly decorated bedroom, lit the logs in the stone
fireplace, and kissed her goodbye, promising to return first thing in the morning,
Rachel left the room and headed straight to the reception desk. “Can you please stop
payment on that credit card?” she said to the night clerk. “I won’t be needing the
room, but I will be needing a taxi.”
Three days after arriving at Peik Lin’s, Rachel crouched on the floor in the far corner
of the bedroom and summoned the courage to call her mother in Cupertino.
“Aiyah, so many days I haven’t heard from you. You must be having such a good time!”
Kerry Chu said cheerily.
“Like hell I am.”
“Why? What happened? Did you and Nick fight?” Kerry asked, worried by her daughter’s
strange tone.
“I just need to know one thing, Mom: Is my father still alive?”
There was a fraction of a pause on the other end of the line. “What are you talking
about, daughter? Your father died when you were a baby. You know that.”
Rachel dug her nails into the plush carpeting. “I’m going to ask you one more time:
Is. My. Father. Alive?”
“I don’t understand. What have you heard?”
“Yes or no, Mom. Don’t waste my fucking time!” she spat out.
Kerry gasped at the force of Rachel’s anger. It sounded like she was in the next room.
“Daughter, you need to calm down.”
“Who is Zhou Fang Min?” There. She had said it.
There was a long pause before her mother said nervously, “Daughter, you need to let
me explain.”
She could feel her heart pounding in her temples. “So it’s true. He
is
alive.”
“Yes, but—”
“So everything you’ve told me my entire life has been a lie! A BIG FUCKING LIE!” Rachel
held the phone away from her face and screamed into it, her hands shaking with rage.
“No, Rachel—”
“I’m going to hang up now, Mom.”
“No, no, don’t hang up!” Kerry pleaded.
“You’re a liar! A kidnapper! You’ve deprived me from knowing my father, my real family.
How
could
you, Mom?”
“You don’t know what a hateful man he was. You don’t understand what I went through.”
“That’s not the point, Mom. You lied to me. About the most important thing in my life.”
Rachel shuddered as she broke down in sobs.
“No, no! You don’t understand—”
“Maybe if you hadn’t kidnapped me, he wouldn’t have done all the horrible things he
did. Maybe he wouldn’t be in jail now.” She looked down at her hand and realized she
was pulling out tufts of the carpet.
“No, daughter. I had to save you from him, from his family.”